Bpov

I watched him walk out of that door and I couldn't say anything. Nothing could make this better the fact still remained the same . I was married to Mike and I didn't even know how things would be now. He thought I was having a abortion now that I couldn't go threw with it I don't know how he was going to react to this news. He never came out and accused me of sleeping with Edward. But would he believe that the baby was his .

I wanted to tell Edward the truth , about the baby, about my love for him, but Mike is my husband , and he doesn't know I was sleeping with Edward or that the baby wasn't Mike's I mean we were having sex condoms break everyday. But I knew deep down that it didn't break and Mike wasn't the father. It was Edward , it has always been him.. Oooh fuck I cant think straight right now. I grabbed my jacket and headed for the door .

I stepped out side like a brand new woman with a new lease on life I was granted a second chance and I would do right by my child , and right by Edward , I don't know how to handle things with Mike or his black mail towards my dad but hopefully we can figure something out. I held in a smile that was dying to break free as I thought about my baby.

I met up with Alice and Lauren and hugged both of them and thanked them for being my friends but until I decided to tell Edward if I told him at all , I think it is best to let them believe that the baby was gone . Yeah I know it's a shitty thing to do and I'm a fucking horrible person to do this but hey it is what it is and the only person that matters in all of this is him my hand grazed my stomach protectively . He alone was all that mattered . And nothing and nobody would stand in the way of my baby.

I would die for him from this day forward and I will put him above everyone including his father. I told them I was tired and just wanted to get some sleep that way neither of them would stay. I told them I was ok and I would call them if I needed them. After I closed the door to my house seeing Charlie wasn't home I did a happy dance and reveled in the fact that I had my baby and I was going to be a mommy. I quickly made Charlie some dinner and headed up stairs to lay down .

I actually was tired all that damn crying had me spent .a short while later Charlie ducked his head in after he ate his fish dinner and asked if I was ok I told him I was tired and I had a paper to finish writing so he excused him self and said goodnight god I loved him and I surely would miss him when we moved. But it was for the best . I felt myself starting to drift off into sleep again when I heard a soft knock on the door

" hey kiddo sorry to bother you but I gotta head back to work" I looked up at him confused .

" but you just got home a little bit ago"

" I know sweetheart but when the mayor calls you don't ask questions you just go" I guess he was up to something he's been using the "mayor excuse" for the past two weeks

" I know dad" I yawned I was ready to go sleep anyway he bent over and kissed me on my forehead

" night sweetie I love you"

" love you to dad" I blew him a kiss as he closed the door behind him. Yes I was truly going to miss my daddy. I was just starting to get to know him. I brushed back a few tears. My hormones are really starting to take over. I was a crying sack of hormones. That one tear led to a stream of tears now I was crying about everything that ever went wrong in my life . I would miss my dad and my friends .

But I would miss Edward the most the time went spent together . The sex . And the fact he would be excluded from our child's life . I wept into my blanket hugging that little kitten he gave me when I heard a noise . I stumbled to turn on my light when I saw him standing there dripping wet . I didn't even notice that it was raining out side.

" Edward what are you doing here" I wiped my eyes with the corner of my sleeve

" I-I- I just needed to see you " he stuttered I ran across the hall to the bathroom linen closet to grab a towel, heading back to my room I wondered why he really was here. I handed him the towel as he dried his face I bit my nail nervously.

" you need you get out of those clothes before you end up with an pneumonia"

" you don't have to use that as an excuse to see me naked I'll gladly show you" he flashed me his devilish grin

I sat on my bed and bounced my knees while he stripped out of his clothes , I tried to avoid looking at his body as his pants dropped to the floor . I let my eyes travel up from the ground taking in his perfectly aligned toes , trim and clean anybody would think he got pedicures they were beautiful I would suck them if he gave me the opportunity to do so.

I licked my lips as my eyes darted to the bulge in his briefs I didn't think that he was aroused so that meant that his cock was just that big . I heard him clear his throat . I slowly let my eyes take in the rest of his perfectly toned magnificent body, his chiseled chest . His defined v that plummeted in to his briefs . His sexy nipples . His glorious lips his narrow nose . Then his emerald green eyes that was glaring at me intensely I adjusted myself on the bed .

" why are you here" I questioned him cautiously avoiding his eyes and body altogether

"I wanted to see you one last time" I was confused I hadn't told him that I was leaving in a couple of days

" last time " I choked out

" I think its best if we didn't see each other anymore , besides I think I'm going to be heading back to Italy soon" he caught me off guard I always thought I was going to be the one to end things but here he was doing it and It stung. It broke my heart I don't want to say goodbye .

" Edward I think we need to talk about the baby" I saw him flinch at the word. I needed to tell him I was still pregnant . I hope he will be happy maybe we can run away and deal with Mike later . I had to tell him.

" Bella please I didn't come here for that , what done is done , its for the best"

"please just listen" pulled on his shirt , to try to make him hear me he shook his head

"Edward I- I - didn't" he put his hand on my mouth

'No Bella it doesn't matter you did the right thing I have my medical school and I don't need anything standing in the way of that my father was right"

" I wasn't ready to be a husband or father anyway" he shrugged his shoulders

His words cut me to the bone it shattered my heart in a million pieces , he was happy he thought I had the abortion and he is relieved , he agreed with his father. He didn't want us in his life. He was giving me the kiss off. He was right he had his career and his life to think about and it didn't include me or my baby. And I didn't need him either I will find my way and be the best that my boy needs. I got angry. I pushed his chest

" just get the fuck out" I was crying banging on his chest . Why cant you see that I'm in love with you , our baby is alive inside of me , why cant you see that . Why cant you want us , why cant we be a family . Just the three of us . He pulled me in his arms and kissed the top of my head .

"please love I just want one last night with you, please can I stay " he squeezed me in his arms , and being a greedy selfish bitch I wanted him to . To memorize every single detail about my Mr. Wonderful and dream of how things were supposed to be.. So I nodded my head telling him he could stay

Epov

Being the greedy selfish bastard I needed her one last night I knew she couldnt have sex but frankly I didn't want that I just wanted to hold her and be held I wanted to memorize every minuet detail about this beautiful woman. I loved her but it wasn't enough it would never be enough , although I didn't full heartedly agree with my dad I said it so that it would ease her guilt I said I was better off without my but that was the farthest from the truth . I was dying inside .

I ached for my baby a child I would never have the chance to hold , to kiss, to love, to raise into a beautiful little girl. I gave her my first and last kiss thru her mama's belly . And it was breaking me down. I couldn't stay here knowing that she is gone . I decided to head back to Italy to finish up my schooling and move forward with my plans for the future.

A part of me hated Bella for what she did today but a part still loved her very much she is a selfless woman always putting other peoples needs in front of her own. But this time she put my needs in front of my babies and I could never forgive her for it. But she agreed that I could stay and stay I would to appease the greedy bastard in me that craves her love, her body, her kisses, her touch… tomorrow I'll go back to hating her..

It has been almost two weeks since I climbed in her window and begged her to let me hold her one last night. She agreed and I will never forget the way her body molded against mine . Her smell was intoxicating. I needed to absorb her scent and keep with me forever, I needed to feel her skin to skin on me , I wanted to feel alive to show her my love , feel loved, but I didn't know if she loved me , but I wanted to feel her one last time. Her beautiful sculptured body fit so perfect with mine.

her essence engulfed me as we laid in each other arms , her body felt so right with mine like she was made from my rib, my soul, part of my body, I needed this last night to help me forget about her and help move on and get my head back in the fucking game. But damn her and damn her luscious poutty lips when they trembled as she whispered my name numerous times throughout the night as well as her begging forgiveness from her baby my baby a life that was taken before it could ever begin ,I don't know how to live without her love, why couldn't she love me , didn't see she was the one I've been searching for. If only she could have understood the love I feel for her would never end.

but that was dead in the water now I would have to find the strength to move on with out her or my princess. How could some thing so right end up so wrong but now that the pieces fell I have no one to blame for loving her but my self .I feel my eyes misty as pictures flash in front of me, Bella with her belly swollen with my child, the birth of my baby, her first steps, her first teeth, the first time she called me da-da , all my dreams of a precious little girl that would never be.

I would have been a great dad, I would have loved her with all my heart, with my soul, I would have given her the world and then some. Be a dad just Like my dad, he is a hard ass and straight to the point motherfucker but he would lay his life on the line to protect us. There wasn't anything that he wouldn't do for any of us including my mother, he found his soul mate and cherished her every day , cherished the life they built, was I wrong for wanting the same things with Bella and my child. But I wouldn't have that opportunity she took it all away in a blink. My dad would have came around once he knew I was happy and that the baby was mine . He loved me regardless of how fucked up the situation was.

And although he said some fucked up shit about Bella but I know deep down he would have came around, it wasn't the same situation as with Jessica, I guess I just wanted to prove I could be better father to Bella's baby. Ah fuck it , it didn't matter no more , she broke my heart and ran away with the shattered pieces. I don't know how to live with out her love, I've cried my myself to sleep knowing that our love was a damn tragedy . I haven't said a word to her since the morning that I left and I don't intend to start now. I have avoided her in school and in class even though she is my lab partner if it doesn't pertain to the lesson or class work I wont speak to her or acknowledge her existence. Its as if she didn't exist , she seemed to be fine with my decision she didn't speak or look in my direction and since I was leaving soon I didn't give a fuck..

I thought back to when I kissed her temple and told her I was sorry about everything that happened but my mind had been set when she killed my baby, we both needed that night to mourn our child but now all bets are off. I changed back to that cold bastard the moment I stepped out of her house . Now she was just like the rest of them . I used to think she was special , someone different but I was wrong she proved her self to be what they all were , lying dirty bitches undeserving of my love , time, and affection .

And I would no longer waste my time , she will never find another love like mine, she will look and look but my love was one of a kind . And she'll never find another man like me. She burnt me.. yea granted it is her body her choice blah blah but what the fuck doesn't the father have a choice. doesn't his opinion matter. If she didn't want the baby I could have raised her. But that's gone. She took my choice away with out even asking my fucking opinion on the whole thing, she was only thinking of her self.

Yes I know that I'm young she is young , I realize were to young to become parents but fuck . Shit . I should have had a say . She should have told me the baby was mine. I shouldn't have to find out in some fucking clinic on some fucking ultrasound machine that I was going to be a dad , only to have that snatched right from under me.. I didn't have a choice, we should have talked this out weighed the pros and cons but no she didn't give me the chance to be a man , or the father my baby deserved or the husband I could have been to her. No she was not different , no she was no better, she was not special. She is just another bitch that doesn't deserve my love or respect.

I refuse to speak to her or glance her way. It didn't matter any way I'll be leaving for Italy in four days, I decided to skip the graduation ceremony and get back to my studies abroad so what she did and who she did it with was no longer my fucking concern, I had my own shit to worry about. I tried going out with some random chicks to get my nut off but I just keep seeing her face and it would just make my cock ache for her . I guess its to soon for that. But soon real soon I planned on fucking her out of my system with what ever and how many bitches it would take to flush her out of me . Heart body and soul..

Maybe tonight at Alice Graduation bash I can find what I'm looking for a quick fuck to get my nut off . We'll have to see what chicks are up for my stroking tonight, not to sound to cocky but fuck, the girls around here are always ready willing and able when I wana lay pipe to one of them, but frankly I'm still twisted with everything that has happened the past couple of weeks . So we'll see what happen I'll play it by ear if not I guess that means when I get back home I will have to pay another visit to Antoinette, she helped me when I was all fucked up because of that last bitch did to me.. May 28,2009 will forever be etched in my heart it's the day she ripped my baby out of her womb and shredded my heart and turned my world upside down….

fuck it time to get in party mode and let my problems and issues at the front fucking door.. i plan on getting wasted and getting laid..

Bpov

I cant believe its been almost two weeks, two fucking ridiculously long weeks .since he climbed in to my window soaking wet and upset. Two treacherous weeks that I laid in his arms. Inhaling his scrumptious scent. Two weeks that I felt his love that is damning me to hell now. Two horrendous weeks since I tried to tell him about the baby but he said he didn't want to hear anything I had to say regarding the baby, that it didn't matter anymore he just wanted to hold me one last time , he said he was happy I had that abortion how the fuck could he be happy I thought he loved me how wrong I was , I guess he is better off not knowing the truth .his words cut me like a blade and now I don't know what to do.

It was apparent He has more important things to accomplish in his life and he doesn't need the distraction of me or a baby to cloud his judgment. so things will be the way they are. I will raise our child on my own well with Mike. Besides we are leaving on Sunday , I just needed to get thru the remainder of the week and it was going by dreadfully slow . It was only Wednesday. He said everything is set we just needed to get there ,he talked to the Dean of Admissions at Phoenix State and the Housing Rep, our apartment is furnished and waiting for us to move in , its off campus so that we will have our privacy.

we both decided to skip graduation and have our diplomas mailed to us while we are setting up and so he can start his training before the start of school the following Monday and I can set up my schedule for classes I plan on taking some courses on English Literature, one day I would love to become a teacher, it was a plan anyway I would take classes up until the baby is born than I'll take off a year and hopefully go back , I just hoped that everything went according to my plan. But my life isn't that simple.

I thought of how my mother was put in this same predicament and how having me she was never able to finish school, but she brought that upon herself. I know my dad was good to her and would have supported her while she wanted to continue her education but she left him saying she was to young to be tied down as a wife and mother, she told him that she could only chose one . I thanked her for choosing to be a mother, and for as long as I can remember she was a great mother, a little bit eccentric in her ways but she truly was my best friend and I cherish the time I had with her.

Although my life sucked and she struggled to make ends meet and we bounced all over the place she said she never regretted having me , she told me everyday I was the only thing she did right in her life. She loved me with all her heart and I felt it up until the day she died. Then I hated her for abandoning me. I needed her here with me. To help me. To tell me that I'm making the right choice keeping my baby.

But she wasn't here I was truly on my own. But then if she was here I would never have left Phoenix to start with and my angel wouldn't be growing inside me right now. it's a doubled edge blade, If I had her I couldn't have him, now that I have him I cant have her. Life sucks. Why cant I have all the people that I love at one time. I silently prayed that having this baby and having a piece of Edward would give me the strength that I needed to let him go and let me move on with my life. Well you know what they say if you love something set if free and if its meant to be it will come back to you.

I could only hope that one day when his child comes looking for him he wont turn his back on him for my mistakes. I'll be forever wishing on a star that he could one day find it in his heart to forgive me. And I hope that he will understand that I did all of this for him. I gave him up for him. That night when he came to me and he looked in eyes I got emotional in side I know its crazy but he still can touch my heart and after being apart time you think that I wouldn't feel the same but time melts into nothing and nothings changed.

If there's one spark of hope left in my grasp I'll hold it with both hands and take the risk of burning to know that one day we could have a second chance .I believe that true love never has to end and I hope that we will find ourselves in love again and he would love me like this again. But until that day I'll hold him in my heart and raise our baby I wont give up hope on him. Who the hell am I kidding ,I'm sick of having this conversation with myself he really does need to know about the baby, his baby , our baby and I'm going to tell him.

Since he wont listen to anything I have to say about the baby . And I know it is the cowards way out .. But fuck it.. I'm a friggin coward damn it. So here goes nothing or everything . I sat myself down determined to tell him exactly how I feel about our baby, about Mike, and his threats maybe just maybe he can help me get out of all this mess I have gotten myself into.