AN: This loosely follows some events in the light novel, but you do not have to read it to understand. It mostly applies to the anime. Again, sorry for slow updates.
"One day I will find a way to stop this and you won't be able to touch our son ever again."
"You need me, you dumb cow. You'd be on the streets without me."
"These things are disgusting and inexcusable! Only a monster could do these things to another person!"
Shizuo Heiwagima shifted in his sleep as the all too familiar dream replayed for the fourth time that month in his head.
"Why are you killing me?"
"Why, Shizu-chan?"
"Why?"
"Why?"
Why?
Shizuo shot up, sweat covering his body entire body. His chest heaved and he ran a hand through his damp hair. "Fuck," he grunted as he collected himself. The sun was pouring in through the window, lighting up his small, shabby room that was half of his actual apartment. He looked around and finally tossed off his red comforter.
Despite the apartment he'd bought straight from dropping out of college being a bit run down, Shizuo kept the place very organized. His clean clothes for the day were folded and set on his desk chair, which sat right next to the head of his king-sized bed.
"Only a monster could, huh?..." He scoffed a bit as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood. He slipped off his blue boxers and scooped up his clothes, stealing a glance at the alarm. He didn't have to be awake for another two hours, but there was no way in hell he'd be able to go back to sleep.
He headed to the bathroom and turned on the shower, ignoring the morning wood obnoxiously extending from his lower body.
"25 and still like a teenager. Fucking depressing," he grunted to himself. He stepped under the shower head and turned the water to cold in order to tame the beast, but it didn't have much of an effect. He'd have to live with it for the morning, because he didn't want to touch such a vile part of himself.
After thoroughly washing his hair and body, Shizuo got himself dressed and shaved. He headed to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of milk. Whenever a nightmare from his past shook him from his sleep, Shizuo would settle for leaning over the railing of his balcony, watching the early commuters scurrying by many stories below. Sometimes he would remind himself that the fall from his balcony would be enough to kill even him.
~...~
Morning, Shizuo," greeted the blonde's employer, Tom Tanaka. The younger russian girl, Vorona, also stood on the street corner next to their employer. Her soft, pale lips gently upturned into a smile, but her icy blue eyes remained as challenging as they'd always had. Shizuo grunted at them both, taking a drag from his smoke that literally burned away half of the cigarette.
The two exchanged glances of confirmation with one another. Shizuo was in a bad mood. Again.
After that day of threatening the lives of many stingy, dead-beat civilians, Shizuo was sitting down in a booth at Russia Sushi next to Vorona. Tom was sitting across from them, putting his card into the bill and setting it at the end of the table. "I'll be right back, going to the bathroom," he said a bit too cheerfully, obviously trying to hide his exhaustion from keeping Shizuo at bay all day.
Vorona scooted a bit closer until her side pressed against the older man's, who had been staring blankly down at his plate since it has first got there.
"Don't like sushi?" She started. Her russian accent caused her words to come out slow, but her voice was beautiful nonetheless. He grunted a bit in reply, causing her to bite her lip in slight frustration. "Shizuo, look at me for a second."
He obeyed hesitantly, eyes hidden behind the purple tinted sunglasses he always wore. He'd just then noticed how she had moved closer.
She started talking, thinking about her words before stating them out loud. The door to the restaurant swung open and the blonde's eyes flicked towards it instinctively. There the flea stood, smirking from ear to ear. Shizuo grimaced slightly, but Vorona didn't seem to notice. She was continuing to talk, but her words flew right passed his ears. Izaya's crimson eyes met his and held for a fraction of a moment, that same dreaded grin Shizuo had been living with for so long surfacing once more.
After a recent attack Izaya had faced that had lead many to believe he was dead, he rarely would show his face around Ikebukuro. An actual fight between the two hadn't broken out between the two since Izaya's stunt with Kasuka right after all the Dollars commotion had settled. What the brute figured would be a huge relief had only been causing more flashbacks to haunt him in his sleep. He always feared the next run in with the flea, so he never let his guard down.
The raven broke the gaze and gracefully skipped to a booth on the farthest side of the building. Shizuo couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. Still, the tension of being in the same area with him was still causing the hairs on the back of his neck to prick.
"Shizuo? What is it? Are you even listening?"
Shizuo quickly brought himself back to reality, meeting the gaze of the frustrated russian spy. "Yes," he said simply. Her pleasant features were tinged in pink and her eyes were hard and downcast. She had finally gotten his attention.
"Really? You will?"
"I meant yes as in I was listening... Now what did you ask?"
She let out an exasperated sigh, but the powerful punch she gave Shizuo's shoulder was slightly playful. "You're really something."
He shrugged and took a sip of his soda nervously, suddenly feeling a pair of eyes on him. His rage was building. "Just tell me, damnit. I want to go home."
He felt a small tinge of guilt at her look of disappointment. His words had come out harsh due to the uneasy feeling in his gut. His rage was starting to swell as the feeling of being watched by the flea persisted. Surely he couldn't hear, now could he?
"I was going to ask if you wanted to do something after this. With me."
The brute was caught off guard, to say the least. He stood, unable to stand the tension any longer. "Let's get the hell out of here."
He snatched her arm and yanked her from the restaurant, ignoring her pleas of thanking Tom for the meal. He didn't stop until they were all the way around the block, when that persistent feeling of dread finally became masked once more.
But then a new feeling came to him as Vorona's words returned. He looked at the russian spy, who was rubbing her arm and glaring at him.
"You want to go out with me?"
The feeling was total discomfort.
But the blonde girl was grinning yet again.
She forgives me way too easily, Shizuo thought to himself. But in a way, it was a relief that he could be forgiven over even the most insignificant of things.
"How old are you, fifteen?" she punched him in the arm again. "Yes. A date."
The bodyguard frowned. He was probably the only grown male at his age who'd never dated a soul. Not like he'd tell a soul, of course. He glanced around. He knew he was away from the flea, but somehow, that dreadful feeling returned to him.
He pulled out another smoke to calm his nerves. He seemed to stand there for an eternity, watching the hope drain from Vorona's young, soft features.
And he nodded, despite himself.