A/N: Ain't even sorry for being late, because I was gone at the comic con in SLC and got to see Chris Evans and Hayley Atwell and Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan and basically it was the best week ever, so yeah, not sorry :P
Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or any of the related rights.
"Scary green guy!" Natasha shouted into Coulson's ear in Russian.
Coulson whirled around, one arm carrying Natasha and the other reaching for his concealed firearm, as the Trickster God himself stepped around the corner.
Coulson felt tiny hands at his leg and looked down with half a glance to see that Tony had stepped closer to Coulson, his gaze angry when he looked at Loki but curious when he looked up at Coulson.
Kid was way too smart for his own good.
Loki took Coulson in with a single gaze. There was only a second's pause, and then his lips curled into a sneer. "I admit, I thought I quite had the monopoly on coming back from the dead."
Coulson was aware of the two small children at his side as he squared his shoulders. "You can keep the monopoly. It's not a fun experience," Coulson said, allowing himself a small smile as Loki raised a single eyebrow at his response.
"I assure you, I can make it more permanent this time," Loki said, taking a menacing step forward, but Phil pulled out his pistol, and he paused for just a moment.
"I'd stay put if I were you," Coulson said, even though he knew—and he knew Loki knew as well—that a small gun wasn't going to do much against an Asgardian.
"Give me the children," Loki half-snarled. "I have put too much work into this plan to—"
Crash.
Loki's threats were cut off as, unexpectedly, a familiar blue blast sent him flying into the wall. Coulson took that opportunity to scoop Tony up so that the kid could hook his arms around Coulson's shoulders and ride piggyback. They could move faster that way.
Then, Coulson looked around the corner to see where the blue blast had come from….
And he could hardly believe his eyes.
Seriously, Coulson had seen some weird things working at SHIELD, but a tiny Steve Rogers, struggling to hold up an Iron Man gauntlet and holding a few other gadgets that Coulson hadn't even been aware Stark had created, stood in the hallway, staring at Loki as the Asgardian extricated himself from the wall.
"Where did you get that, Steve?" Tony asked, his mouth dropping open.
Figures. Of course Tony would be impressed only by his future self's inventions.
Steve shrugged, still struggling to keep the gauntlet upright. "This house has some pretty nifty toys," he said. He looked up at Coulson. "Who are you?"
Coulson grinned. "My name's Phil."
"He's cool. Nat likes him."
Steve raised his eyebrows. "Nat likes him?"
Tony snorted. "Yeah, I was just as surprised as you are."
But then Steve noticed that Loki had recovered and seemed to be heading their way, so he pushed Tony ahead of him with a whispered, "Let's get out of here." And just for good measure, Steve turned to fire, his chest heaving as he did so.
A fleeting thought flickered across Coulson's mind—a thought of suggesting a trade. He'd actually thought about offering Steve his gun in exchange for the Stark tech, because the gun was lighter and easier to carry.
And then the absurdity of offering a gun to a kid Steve's age (what was he, eight?) occurred to him, and he took it back before the thought could leave his mouth.
He could possibly be excused, of course, having been carrying around Natasha, who seemed to already have an instinct for who could and could not be trusted and for giving directions like "run away" or "behind you" at this tender age.
It was easy to forget that these really were kids and not the Avengers. It was easy, because these kids were the Avengers. They'd been Avengers their whole lives, from what Coulson could see, and it was just that their bodies caught up when they were older.
"Watch out," Natasha whispered in his ear, and he ducked instinctively.
He really was quite glad he had Natasha on his side when a familiar staff passed over his head.
…..
"Insolent child!"
Clint grinned over at Bruce, who looked nervous when he smiled, like he wasn't sure if smiling was allowed, as he dodged behind a container to hide from the sight of the Enchantress.
The container was blasted up into the air, but Clint had already moved on to a new hiding place.
"Missed me!" he shouted, trusting the echo in this big hangar not to give away his location.
He heard the Enchantress give a shout of anger and knew that his plan was working.
Clint knew that things were going to be bad for him if the big guy—he thought he'd heard the Enchantress say something like "Thor" when she shouted for her minion to go after him, but he couldn't be sure—didn't come back for Clint and Bruce.
And he'd really rather that the bad guys were only just mad at Clint. He'd rather take the blame, because it wasn't fair to anyone else—and also mostly because Clint had seen the way Bruce looked when anyone shouted, when there was a loud noise, when there was any fighting. It wasn't just that Bruce was scared of turning green.
Clint had seen that look before—in the mirror.
So he figured it was probably good for the bad guys not to get mad at Bruce. Or Natasha, who was way too little. Or Steve, who was way too nice.
They could maybe get mad at Tony, but only because Clint was pretty sure Tony was going to make them mad no matter what. Tony was annoying.
So when Clint heard loud sounds coming from the place where Thor had disappeared, he figured he would do his best to make sure the Enchantress' focus was on Clint, and not on someone else.
He darted into a new hiding place just as his new one burst into pieces, and he winced. He was really glad he hadn't been hiding there, or he'd be wearing his nose on his shirt.
"Is that all you got?" Clint shouted.
"When I get my hands on you—"
Clint snorted. "Yeah, like that's gonna happen."
"CLINT, LOOK OUT!"
Clint heard Bruce's warning too late, though, because he didn't turn around in time to see Loki materialize behind him. At least, he didn't see Loki until he was dangling by his feet, his ankle in Loki's hand as the green-clad bad guy held him up to his gaze.
He looked like he was really mad.
Clint curled himself into a ball as best as he could, trying to brace himself for what he knew was coming. He felt his back hit the wall, and it hurt, but he stayed curled up, because he could hear footsteps coming his way.
He was gonna get it so bad.
And then, just to make matters worse, he could hear Bruce shouting and knew that Bruce was turning into a green monster. But that wasn't the worst part.
The worst part was the fact that the wall exploded just inches away from Clint, and as he watched, he saw Thor slam hard into the ground and skid to a stop.
Thor started to get back up, but something green passed in front of him, and Clint looked over to see that the Enchantress was waving her arms to perform some kind of spell.
Thor slumped to the ground with a dull thud at about the same time a tiny green Bruce monster launched itself at the Enchantress' minion (who, by the way, was really close to Clint, so thanks for that, Bruce). And at the same time, the door burst open, and there was everybody else—and Phil.
Great. The gang was all together. They could all get their butts kicked at the same time.
Clint heard part of the wall crumbling seconds before pieces of it fell on him, and after that, he didn't see or hear anything at all.