Life is as tedious as twice-told tale, vexing the dull ear of a drowsy man.
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Batman Beyond Season 4
Episode 62: Courting You
Author James the Lesser
I do no own the Characters, names, villains, so forth
A/N This takes place after Batman Beyond Return of the Joker so yes that movie happens in this timeline/series
Batman and Kid Flash are out on the town working together as Batwoman was in Jump City. "So, Batwoman, is she hot?"
"Uh, we're just friends. I don't like to think of her that way."
"Come on I was friends with Starfire and it didn't keep me from looking when Robin wouldn't catch me." Kid Flash laughs a little.
"Aren't you worried about them?"
"Why? Decades weren't even an hour. It has been what two days? It may have been one or two seconds in that dimension." He laughs again. "Also denial isn't just a river in Egypt."
"Huh?"
"Did that saying go out of style? What about the fist bump is that still in?"
"The what?"
"Slog it."
"Slag, it is slag, not slog."
"Slog, slag, back in my day we just said fu," Bruce cuts them off.
"If you two could focus there is a break in near you. A jewelry store. 35th West Street." Terri looks to the east.
"We're on it." He takes off as Wally runs down the side of the building.
At the jewelry store they see three T's climbing out through the broken front window with bags of rings and necklaces. "Watch this Batman." Wally, Kid Flash, is a blur as he runs down an alley and comes up another getting behind the T's.
He runs and smacks one on the back of the head. "Hey man what was that for?"
"What was what for?"
"You hit me." The smacked T pushes another.
"I didn't hit you." The smacked T turns to the other one and pushes him.
"I didn't hit you either."
"Then who did?" The first pushed T is smacked on the back of the head by Kid Flash.
"I just got hit." The three T's start looking around scared of what could be attacking them.
Kid Flash runs up to Batman. "I love doing that."
"Looked like fun but I gotta take them down." Batman throws three batarangs and they strike near the feet of the T's.
When they explode they release a thick cloud of smoke. The T's hack and cough as Batman quickly cuffs them together.
When the smoke clears all three are cuffed to the other. "How did he do that?" They struggle but can't break the cuffs.
"I don't know man but I hear the cops." Soon the police show up and recover the stolen goods.
Max is in Jump City suited up. "Two demonic energy warps in a few days and then nothing." She looks up at the sky. "Maybe I should head back to Gotham." She takes a deep breath and enjoys the fresh clean air. "Or make sure it is really over. I still have three days of spring break left."
Kid Flash and Batman are near the docks when Bruce patches a call through to Batman. "Terri?"
"Melanie?"
"They're here."
"Who? Oh, King and Queen?"
"Yeah. But no Ace. Jack saw them coming through the back of the apartment building. We moved to the top floor and are hiding in a closet."
"We'll be there as soon as we can." The call is cut. "Wally a, friend, of mine is being attacked. Follow me." He activates the rockets and takes off.
Batman lands on the roof of the apartment building. "The apartment is on the third floor. Go there first I'm checking on my friend and her brother." Terri goes in through a roof access.
He finds the closet Melanie and Jack were hiding in. "Shh, I have a friend with me. We'll take them down and make sure they go back to jail."
"Batwoman?"
"No Melanie, a new friend. He's a veteran at all of this." Terri closes the door and goes to the stairwell.
Kid Flash sees the King and Queen. "This will be fun." He runs in and smacks the Queen on her butt.
"Why would you do that?" She turns and sees the King is clearly too far away.
"Why would I do what?"
"Some one hit me." The King starts looking around when Kid Flash runs up and steals his scepter.
"No, really? Some one hit you?" He looks over the scepter. "What does this button do?" He presses it and the King is hit in the chest with an energy blast.
"You commoner drop his royal scepter!" The Queen throws a metal card at Kid Flash. He hits it with the scepter and it explodes releasing a poisonous gas.
The King holds his breath and charges Kid Flash knocking him to the floor. He picks up the scepter and points it at Kid Flash. "If you had turned the power up you could have killed me. Let me demonstrate on you."
"Not so fast King." Batman's batarang was already flying through the air and hits the scepter piercing it and releasing a shock in to it frying the system.
"How did you know we were here so quickly? They couldn't have had time for calling the police." The King throws the scepter to the floor. "You were watching her."
"I have eyes and ears on as many criminals as possible. Who knows when she will rejoin you." Batman sees Kid Flash has recovered. "So are you ready to go quietly?" He holds up two pairs of cuffs.
"Never!" The Queen reaches for another card but is too slow. Kid Flash grabs the pouch hanging off her hip and hands it to Batman.
"Make a trade?" Kid Flash grabs a pair of cuffs and rushes back to the Queen cuffing her hands behind her back before she can stop him.
"I'll come for you, later." The King runs and jumps out a window landing on a flying card.
"No! You won't leave me!" She kicks at Kid Flash but misses. "I won't let you!" She moves one hand that is cuffed so she can press a button on the wrist of her other hand.
Batman and Kid Flash hear an explosion and rush to the window the King had jumped out of. They see the King fall to the street below in bad shape. "Well that makes it easier to catch him." Kid Flash grabs the other cuffs from Batman and runs out to where the King was.
After handing the two off to the police Batman goes back to the apartment to check on Melanie and Jack. "They should be out of your hair for awhile."
"I hope so." Melanie looks around the apartment. "Our place was trashed." She looks at the broken window. "Good thing it is getting nice out."
"Some plastic will keep insects out until we have enough to fix it."
"Whoa, hey," Kid Flash rushes over to Melanie. "So, how you doing?" She looks at him and then back at Batman.
"This is your friend? Isn't he a little, old?"
"Hey baby age is just a number after eighteen. And like wine I just get better with age." He flashes a smile at her and she rolls her eyes.
"Tell him to back off or I'll make him."
"Nice, a girl with attitude."
"Geesh back off my sister." Jack gets between the two.
"Ok, I'll just see her later."
"Back off of Melanie."
"Oh, sorry, didn't know she was taken."
"I, we, it," Batman is lost for words.
"You should show a woman more respect than that." She pushes Jack out of the way and gets in Kid Flash's face. "Or I'll make sure you learn to respect us."
"Ok, sorry, just been what, four or five decades since I got trapped in a Hell dimension. I got a lot of things on my mind and you are now one of them." Batman clears his throat. "Just my mind." He backs away.
Melanie walks over to Batman and whispers in his ear. "I'll call you tomorrow." She kisses him on the cheek. "Thank you for saving us. I didn't even have time to call the police." She motions her head towards her brother.
"We were following the two. We didn't know what they were up to and decided too find out for ourselves."
"What? Dude she totally," Batman elbows him in the stomach. "Ow."
The next day Max was relaxing in the park. People had been spooked by the demonic energy a couple days before but things had returned to normal. She watched a young man help an elderly woman cross the street. She saw a lemonade stand set up by two kids while their parents sat nearby enjoying the sunny day. "I still have time until school starts back up."
Terri is at home when the phone rings. "Got it!" He picks it up. "Hello?"
"Terri, it's me, Melanie."
"I know. Are you and your brother ok?"
"Yeah, we're fine. Who was your uh, friend?"
"Some one who is decades older than he looks or acts."
"Huh? What?"
"Really complicated story but he's back and helping me. If the King and Queen escape they might come after you." Her laughter surprises him.
"No way. Not after what the King did. If the Queen gets out she'll go after him and if he gets out he'll be heading any direction as far away from her as possible."
"So you two will be ok?"
"Yes, I'm sure of it. But I wouldn't mind a little comforting later."
"Uh, Melanie, I don't know about that."
"Come on. I still have the suit and card. I could help you fight crime. Make up for some of my past crimes by stopping new ones."
"I don't think the the old man would like that."
"Well aren't you, you know, in charge?"
"I guess." Terri remembers the past few times he asked Bruce for advice. Bruce would give it but also tell him it was his call because he was Batman now. "The city is big enough for another hero." She says some thing he can't understand. "Are you ok?"
"Yes, yes! This will be so cool. Just keep your friend in line and I won't have to kick his butt." She hangs up on him.
Batman meets up with Melanie. "So, uh, Ten, I'm Batman."
"Call me Ace."
"Why?"
"Ten is a crappy card. Ace is the best and I am the best."
"Really?"
"I'm one of two not in prison or a scrap yard and I could always kick Jack's butt." She laughs and flies up to him. "So your creepy friend not meeting us?"
"He isn't creepy. He's just a time traveler."
"Seriously? And what time did he come from where creepy was normal?"
"Ok so he is a little creepy but he was in some hell dimension for like forty or fifty years but then it was only about an hour for him."
"So he spent an hour in some hell dimension and that made him creepy?"
"The old man says he was always like that. But back then he got away with it because he usually only hit on one of the Titans and she hit back."
"I hope with a fist." She punches him lightly on the arm.
"A few times from what Kid Flash has told me." Melanie, Ace, gets even closer.
"So Batman what are we going to do now?" He backs away and almost steps off the edge of the roof.
"Right now we'll just look for any random crime going on. If we're lucky we might find a Joker gang member and figure out what the hell those two are up to."
Max is flying back to Gotham. "So what have I missed?"
"Terri decided he would let Melanie help him as Ace." Bruce chuckles.
"Don't do that it gives me the creeps." Bruce is silent. "Much better. So why is he letting her in as Ace?"
"Why do you think?"
"Yeah, I get it. So you aren't going to stop him?"
"If he learns his mistakes now it will save him others in the future. A future when I won't be there to fix them." Bruce coughs hard.
"For an old guy always talking about how he'll be dead soon one would think you'd be going to the doctors a little more often."
"I bought time with the trip to the Lazarus Pit. It healed parts of me no medicine could but it is deteriorating again. I once thought of making Terri as I once was but I have seen the errors of my ways. I wanted a clone but I realized it was a human being. If I could change what I had done I would but now I must do what I can to fix my mistakes."
"Uh, ok. So yeah I'll be home soon. Kid Flash still running around Gotham?"
"He's going by Flash now. And yes."
"Great. Am I going to need a whistle or pepper spray?"
"Very funny. He was always a handful for Barry West but he is a good kid. And right now his friends are in a dimension they can't seem to escape."
"So he'll have a little trouble making new ones. Although I don't think I've seen how he looks with out a mask on he could be cute." This time Max chuckles.
"Don't do that. He is decades your senior."
"He only aged an hour in that other time dimension."
"So he is a few years older."
"I'm an adult I can make my own choices."
"Yes you can. But make sure your choices don't harm yourself or this city."
"What about Terri and Melanie?"
"A lesson hopefully both of you can learn with out both of you making the same mistake."
Batman and Ace are flying over a side street near the edge of the city when they see three teens spray painting on a wall. "Vandalism."
"Really? We're gonna beat up some kids for spray painting, Terri?"
"No. Give them a scare." The two fly down behind the teens. "Hello." All three jump.
"Whoa! Batman! Dude look!" They point at what they had been painting. Batman and Ace look.
It was the Bat Symbol in a yellow halo. Around it were grayish paint clouds. "Do you like it? We've been working on it for like an hour."
"Uh, it is nice." Ace flies down.
"Wow are you guys artists?"
"Yeah, hey." All three smile at Ace.
"This building is abandoned Batman. I think they made this building art work." Ace puts a finger on the symbol and paint sticks to her suit.
"Hey the paint is still wet."
"Sorry." She tries wiping the paint off on a part of the wall not painted.
Batman turns away from the symbol. "So you kids still in highschool?"
"Yeah, why?"
"What are you doing for college?"
"College? Like any of us can afford it."
"Give me your names."
"Why? You aren't telling on us are you?"
"No." Batman holds his hand out. "I am here to make the city better. If you three can go to college for some thing like art it keeps you off the streets and keeps you from getting in trouble for tagging building walls."
"So?"
"I am a member of the Justice League. Well, back up member. But we're funded by Wayne Enterprise and I have a small budget. Instead of using it on rent or food I can use it on helping the people of this city."
"Cool! Yeah, uh, I don't have a pen." The three teens search their pockets.
Batman pulls a pen out. "Paper?"
"Uh, yeah, thanks." The three pull out wallets and use any scrap paper to put their names and numbers.
Max lands inside the Bat Cave and gets out of the Batmobile. "So what's the word?"
"Terri did some thing nice. He and Melanie are actually doing a good job. But they've only dealt with three kids spray painting a wall and a car jacker."
"So no sign of Blight or the clowns?"
"Blight is near where the ship sank."
"How do you know that?"
"I've been tracking him for the past couple of days. I didn't tell Terri."
"Because he'd lose it and do some thing stupid. Yeah I get it." Max hears some thing. "Is that the dog?"
"No." Flash stops right behind Max. "So how was Jump City?"
"Good." She walks away from him. "But except for the one incident nothing else happened." She looks up at the monitor. "Any ideas Kid Flash?"
"Flash, I'm the Flash."
"Any ideas Kid Flash?" She smirks as he laughs.
"Raven is pretty powerful but she could only keep the portal open for so long. Maybe she tried a few seconds, for her, after the first time but then needed some rest."
"If she is taking a nap we'll all be dead before she tries again." Flash hears Bruce's words and feels the shiver move down his spine.
"Maybe she's just meditating. Or taking a five minute break. In that dimension."
"I'll make sure Jump City is kept under close observation." Bruce Wayne does some typing. "But it is getting late. I have a mission for the two of you tomorrow night."
"The two of us? Alright I like the sound of that." Bruce clears his throat. "Ok, backing off before I do any thing."
"Good idea." Max takes the mask off. "By the way this was starting to mess up. I don't know if energy from the portal damaged it or what is wrong with it."
"Batteries. You've been gone for all of spring break and haven't been charging it."
"Oh, batteries. That is like telling me a space ship runs off of a hamster in a wheel."
Batman and Ace see two Joker gang members. "Lets go beat them up."
"Not yet. We'll follow them and see what they're up to." Batman activates the stealth mode on his suit. "Wait. You can't really stealth in that."
"I have a better idea." She flies down to the Joker gang members. "Hello boys."
"Whoa, uh, member of the Royal Card Court or gang or what ever."
"The last member. And now I need a new group to join. I heard Joker was back. He's pretty badass can a lady join?"
"Uh, sure? We have a couple girls already and none as cool or cute as you." Melanie laughs as she takes her mask off.
"Thanks guys. So what are we doing?"
"Just set up more bombs for one of the Joker's."
"One of the Joker's?"
"Yeah, there are two of them. Kinda confusing when they give two different orders but hey we've been having lots of fun."
"Sounds good." She puts the mask back on and follows the two Joker gang members while Batman follows all three still using his stealth.
Batwoman, Flash, and Bruce Wayne watch through Batman's visor. "Should I help them?" Flash clears his throat. "Should we help them?"
"No. This could work well. If we get Melanie on the inside we can find out the Joker's plans." Bruce leans forward.
"Or she gets killed by a madman. Two of them."
"Terri is there. He is doing some thing I have done with Catwoman."
"Wasn't she your ex girlfriend? I don't think I wanna watch those two do what you did with Catwoman."
"I do." Flash leans closer to the screen.
Melanie follows the two Joker gang members to the cave where the clone Joker had been staying. "Whoa kinda creepy. This where you been staying?"
"Nah this is a base or what ever. We got a couple more in the city." Batman stays a few steps behind following silently.
Melanie is led in to the main chamber. She keeps the door open a few seconds longer so Batman can get in.
Clone Joker sees Melanie. "What is this? Why are you bringing her in here?"
"She wants to join us boss."
"Why?" Clone Joker stares at Melanie.
"Because you hate Batman and I hate Batman. He put my whole family away. I want him dead." She walks up to Joker. "But I can't kill him alone."
"You remind me a lot of a nice young girl I met in Arkham." Clone Joker starts laughing. "And then I drove her insane and she became my little Harley." He pulls a knife.
Melanie motions to Batman to back off. "How did she know I was going to make a move? I'm invisible."
"Well I think I'm a little harder than that. Also I need you but you need me."
"And how do I need you?"
"I'm not some teenage punk getting high on jazz between spray painting buildings. I've fought Batman and gotten away. I've kicked Joker butt and gotten away. I humiliated these boys before and I could humiliate them again." She leans in close to Joker's face. "So?"
"That takes a lot of, well, guts I guess." He holds the knife near her stomach. "Care to see them?"
"Try it." Joker starts laughing loudly.
"I like her! She's got what I've been needing!" He continues to laugh.
Batman backs towards the exit and waits for Melanie. "Come on before he tries some thing." He starts tapping his foot.
A Joker gang member hears the tapping and looks around. "Dude I hear some thing."
"What is that?"
"Mr. Joker I hear a noise. A tapping noise." Batman stops. "It went away."
"Where was it coming from?"
"Near the door." Clone Joker pulls a gun out from underneath his seat and shoots at the door several times. The loud bang noise of a real gun makes every one flinch with every shot.
"Damn mice. That should scare them away." He laughs as he puts the gun back.
Melanie walks towards the door. "How about we meet at a different place with fewer rats tomorrow?"
"The old Ferris Wheel in the walled off part of Gotham sound good for you little lady?"
"Sure Mister Joker." Melanie flashes him a smile then blows a kiss. "Can't wait to meet you again." She opens the door, giving Batman time to leave, and then leaves.
When they are far enough away from the cave they land and talk. "What was that all about?"
"What? Joker may be Joker but he's still a guy. Flirting with him will make him lower his guard. Maybe spill a secret or two he didn't feel like spilling before."
"Maybe." Terri looks up at the sky. "Time to go home. Be careful Ace, Melanie."
"Only when I wanna be." Melanie kisses Terri before he can object then jumps back on her card. "Goodnight." She takes off.
"Uh, yeah, goodnight." Terri activates his rockets and takes off for home.