Questions and Dares

I raced down the stairs and yelled, "Elphaba! Glinda! Fiyero! Nessa! Boq! Dorothy! Wizard—whatever your name really is! Madame Morrible!" "Why do you always mention me last?" Madame Morrible demanded, glaring at me. I rolled my eyes and said, "We don't like you. You are evil." "Or did you miss the memo?" I added, snickering.

Elphaba, Glinda, Fiyero, Nessa and Boq all laughed and I grinned at the five former Shiz students. "Okay, we have new questions—from the same reviewers as last time—darkgemwildcat and SideshowJazz1." They all nodded and I said, "Well, darkgemwildcat will be here in, like, three minutes or was it three hours—oh, well. Never mind, on to the questions. We're starting with SideshowJazz1."

"I apologize to Dorothy, because I can sympathize with her explanation for not trying to escape. Still have no liking for her. Basically, if you're responsible for killing either of the Thropp sisters, it means I hate you." Dorothy looked at me and said, "Madame Morrible was the one who created the tornado that killed Nessarose and it was Madame Morrible's idea to send the Witch Hunting Party after Elphaba—not mine." "But it was your house that killed Nessarose," I shot back. "So, therefore, SideshowJazz1 hates both you and Madame Morrible. And quit interrupting me," I finished.

"Okay, now on to the questions:

Everyone: With the musical, which song was the best in your opinion? Which line in the song and why? I can't think of anymore questions, but I am now wishing that I could meet most of you characters. SideshowJazz1." I finished reading.

Everyone paused and looked at each other. "Um, I'll go first," the Wizard volunteered uncertainly, trying to avoid eye contact with Elphaba. "I'd say either Wonderful or A Sentimental Man. Although, now that I think about it, I did prefer Wonderful to A Sentimental Man. The second song—A Sentimental Man —has one very ironic line, actually the whole song was kind of ironic, since I was meeting my daughter, but I didn't know she was my daughter..." "And mute," I said, grinning. "You have a mute button?" Madame Morrible demanded. "Yup," I said, grinning. "You didn't have it last time," Dorothy whined. "Be quiet or I'll mute you," I snapped. "I can write whatever I want into this story. Ha!" I said, grinning.

Glinda looked at me and I said, "Alright, Wizard, if you agree not to babble pointlessly, I'll un-mute you." He nodded and I hit the mute button again. "My favorite line from Wonderful was the one where I said, 'They called me Wonderful.' No need to explain why—it's just sort of obvious—I mean, a simple boring every day man being called Wonderful—it just feels so great."

I nodded and said, "Next?" Everyone stared at each other and Madame Morrible said, "I'll go next." We all looked at each other and I said, "Okay." "I hated all of the songs," she said, simply. I stared at her and asked, "How can you hate Defying Gravity? That's the song that made Wicked so Popular—wow, two songs—one statement. I am on a roll." "I only sing in two songs and both times I'm sucking up to someone—first, it's Elphaba and then it's Glinda." "Mute her! Mute her!" Everyone began screaming. I rolled my eyes, said, "And this is also why we all hate you, Morrible," and pressed the mute button.

Nessa looked thoughtfully at me and I asked, "Do you want to answer next, Nessa?" "Yeah," she said softly. "I'd say Dancing Through Life, and the line would be—actually, I just like my spiel about Boq that I give my sister, because I was so confident that I'd spend my future with him." I grinned and said, "Yeah, that is why I don't like Boq—I mean you bothered to get his name right." She nodded in agreement.

Boq groaned and said, "I'd say Dancing Through Life and my favorite line is when I'm asking Nessa to dance and she says, 'What?'—I mean, who cares if you're in a wheelchair—you can still dance!—and it was a lot of fun—dancing with Nessa, I mean."

I nodded and said, "Dorothy?" "Not in the musical and I think Defying Gravity's kind of cool," she said. "Favorite line—um, I think I'd have to say when the Wicked Witch of the West says, 'I'm flying high, defying gravity.' Flying just seems so cool." I glared at Dorothy and she looked at me and asked, "What?" I sighed, started jumping up and down, while screaming, "FOR THE LAST TIME, STOP CALLING ELPHABA THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST! SHE'S NOT WICKED! SHE WAS ONLY MISUNDERSTOOD! BESIDES, NESSA, BOQ, FIYERO, AND GLINDA ALL KNOW SHE'S GOOD! THEY SHOULD HAVE CALLED HER THE WONDERFUL WITCH OF THE WEST! OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT! JUST NOT THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST!"

Everyone stared at me and then I took a deep breath. "Okay, moving on. Fiyero, you're next," I said. Fiyero thought hard—as hard as a brainless person can think—and said, "As Long As You're Mine," and my favorite line is—actually, I loved the whole song just because I'm with Elphaba."

Glinda looked at Fiyero and said, "Dancing Through Life or Popular—in Dancing Through Life, it's the line where Fiyero and I say, 'You're perfect. You're perfect. So we're perfect together, born to be forever dancing life...' and in Popular, my favorite line is when I tell Elphaba, 'We're gonna make you popular!', or it's the entire song except for the part when Elphie runs away," Glinda finished.

Elphaba rolled her eyes and said, "Okay, my turn. My favorite song is definitely Defying Gravity and my favorite line is when Glinda and I say, 'There's no fight we cannot win!' and we're all so confident that we can beat the Wizard."

I grinned and then said, "Okay, everyone, give a big welcome to our guest of the day, darkgemwildcat." Elphaba grinned and said, "Yeah, darkgemwildcat, you're an amazing person too, and I'm glad that you think I'm so amazing and that I'm your role model. Just don't go, and I quote Glinda, 'flying off the handle' every time you get mad." Madame Morrible scowled and I said, "Madame Morrible, I'll un-mute for the rest of the chapter. Then it's mute again for you."

Then I said, "Darkgemwildcat, do you want me to read your questions or will you read them?" "I'll read them," she offered.

I nodded and handed her the sheet with her questions.

"Ahem, Elphaba, Nessa and Glinda, just wanna tell you that you can throw Horrible Morrible out a window, I'll help if you want! We can tie her to a bungee cord so she won't die and/or hurt herself, but still feel the terror. Dorothy: How do you fly a house? Just wondering, do you like need a license or something? Because if it's like driving a car, then you're underage and should be arrested. To Everyone: What have you been up before you came to be interviewed? How's your life been going?"

I grinned and said, "I'll help with tossing Horrible Morrible out the window too." Elphaba held up her hand and I said, "Yes, Elphaba?" "Can we throw Madame Morrible out the window without the bungee cord?" I laughed and said, "Elphaba, all of us—Dorothy, Glinda, Fiyero, Boq, Nessa, and the Wizard darkgemwildcat, me, and you—can throw Madame Morrible out the window without the bungee cord at the end of the show, ok?" Elphaba grinned and said, "Yes!"

I grinned and said, "Alright, here we go." "Bungee cord, check," darkgemwildcat called. I grinned and said, "Here, Horrible Morrible. Put the stupid bungee cord on already."

She did and I carefully strapped one end to the edge of the window sill. "Glinda? Nessa? Elphaba?" I called. "Is everyone ready?" All three Witches nodded and I said, "One, two, three!" We shoved the Wicked woman—Madame Morrible out the window and she just started screaming. I grinned and said, "Okay, I think that's enough for now. We'll throw her out the window again later, okay?" Nessa, Glinda, and Elphaba all nodded—darkgemwildcat left immediately after shoving Madame Morrible out the window and hearing the woman scream.

"Flying a house," Dorothy began, "is kind of like driving. You need to be fully conscious and have full control of the house. Actually, I do need a license and our host, Madison Tiffany-Crystal signed me up for some how-to-steer-a-flying-house classes. It sounds interesting, actually." I nodded and said, "Final question for the day, guys."

Then I said, "We're going in the opposite way we went when you answered SideShowJazz1. Elphaba—you're first."

"I've been living with Fiyero, before I came here to be interviewed and my life's been okay, but I still missed my best friend," the green witch confessed.

Glinda looked at me and said, "I've been hiding in my room for three hours a day—every day—missing Elphie and Fiyero and Nessa and Boq. It's just been so hard without them." I nodded and said, "Elphaba and Fiyero, I think Glinda needs a hug." They both nodded and even though I'd told Elphaba and Fiyero to hug Glinda, the three friends somehow managed to create an Elphaba sandwich.

"Fiyero?" I asked. "Um, living with Elphaba and feeling guilty about not letting her tell her best friend that she'd survived the attack." I nodded and said, "Okay, next is Dorothy, then Boq, then Nessa, then Madame, I mean Horrible, Morrible"—everyone started laughing—"and finally, the Wizard."

Dorothy nodded and said, "I've been trying to convince my aunt and uncle that Oz wasn't a dream—it couldn't have been a dream—it was too real."

I nodded and Boq said, "Sitting around, thinking I messed up my life. Other than that, not much."

Nessa sighed and said, "I'm dead, remember?" "Nessarose, just so you know—you're not dead in this story, duh," I said. "Oh, cool," she said, grinning. Then she said, "Well, my life was good before someone dropped a house on me." She glared first at Madame Morrible and then at Dorothy. I laughed and then Nessa said, "But since I'm in heaven now, I've met my mother—she's nice, but not so great at the whole being a mother thing—oh, that reminds me." "Elphaba?" Nessa called, looking at her older sister. "Yes, Nessa?" Elphaba asked. "Mother asked me to tell you, 'I love you.'" Nessa told her older sister. "Oh, and to tell you that 'you are very beautiful, no matter what anyone else may tell you.'" I grinned and said, "Now, that's sweet."

"Okay, Morrible?" I said, changing the subject. The evil woman glared at me and said, "Madame Morrible. Anyway, I've been rotting in jail. How do you think I feel?" "And mute," we—Elphaba, Glinda, Fiyero, Boq, Nessa, the Wizard, Dorothy, and I—all said.

The Wizard looked at me and said, "I've been visiting Dorothy's family—making sure she doesn't get herself into anymore trouble when I can—and been depressed over being partially, if not completely, responsible for my daughter's death. Again, I still feel guilty." I nodded and said, "Well, that's all for today, folks. Later."