Gender Fluid Confusion - Chapter 3

Summary - Two students, two genders. They're complete opposites but they both share one vital similarity - they're both gender fluid. And they're falling for each other's other halves.

Sam's Note - Waaaaah! The feedback I got from the last chapter are kinda 50/50 which is... great, actually.

Gender Fluid Confusion

The Next Day - Sasuko's POV

The next morning I woke up feeling like shit.

It was so sudden. The day before had been good - great, actually - but then as soon as I seemed to have gone back to normal, reality just kind of crashed down on me. Like I was being punished for being happy.

I woke up all sweaty, my legs stuck to the covers uncomfortably, trapping me down. But I eventually did untangle myself and flop down onto the floor. I checked my phone, still not bothering to stand up yet: 7:15. Meaning I had less than fifteen minutes to get washed and dressed.

UNLESS it was a lady day.

You see on days where I felt female I had to wait until Itachi and my dad had left for work or whatever they do before I can even begin getting ready because if they see me even leave the house dressed even slightly feminine one of them will make a sly remark. I only just get away with guyliner. And even with that I had to have many years of arguing for.

The second I thought about it, I instantly sat up, dropping my phone. I crawled over to my mirror and stared at myself for all of five seconds, before dropping my head into my hands.

A lady day it is, then.

I have a love hate relationship with being gender fluid. Some days are great, different and spontaneous. I can go crazy with my style and it almost feels like I am a different person every day.

But then there are days like today** where it makes me want to tear my hair out. I can spend hours staring at myself in the mirror. Just staring. Pointing out all the imperfections. Now, don't get me wrong, this isn't a weight issue. I don't think I'm too fat or too thin. I'm quite content with my weight. It's just... On female days I feel more vulnerable to negativity. The whole dysphoria feel to it is always either really bad or barely there at all.

I sat there staring at myself. My eyes were droopy and the bags sat under them like an angry, gothic eye liner. I rubbed them, making them red. Just as I was about to have an episode, my door swung open and my eyes looked at it's reflection through the mirror.

Itachi strolled in and sat on the edge of my bed. I turned around and stood up, dusting off my clothes. "Oh, please," I said in a mocking voice. "Come in, sit down, dear brother."

He snorted at me and I stuck my tongue out at him. My older brother then leaned back, hands behind his head. When I just continued to stand there, not doing anything other than having a kind of staring contest with him, Itachi furrowed his eyebrows and sat up, twisting his body around. "Arn't you getting dressed?"

"Wow!" I exclaimed. "Itachi, I knew you were weird, but not weird enough to sit in your sibling's room to watch them get dressed!"

I made an effort to not use gendered words like 'brother' or 'him'. It made me feel sick.

"Sasuke, shut up. I actually came in here to talk to you about something, but if you're gonna be like that..." Itachi stood up and stuck his hands in his pockets, shrugging and making he way towards the door. My heart pounded in my chest; what is it he wants to talk about?

"No, no. Itachi don't be like thaaaat... C'mon!" I lay down across the bed and reached over to grab his arm. He pulled his arm away from my grip and I scrunched my face up. "Itachi?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "Nee, Sasuke," he ruffled my hair and I slapped his hands away. "It's nothing important. Just that there's this blonde chick waiting for you downstairs."

I let in a short breath, before losing all all energy and flopping against my bed, like a dead fish. "Tell her to fuck off," I said into my duvet. For a few moments I thought Itachi hadn't heard me because he just stood there, not saying anything. But soon he laughed, said okay and left the room, carefully closing the door.

I rolled onto my back, sighing.

Don't get me wrong, I like this girl. She's sweet, nice, funny. Her eyes are absolutely gorgeous. She's perfect. So perfect, in fact, I can't lie to her. I can't go downstairs and be the Sasuke everyone knows and loves, because I'm not him. I'm not a boy, I'm not a man. I'm not male. I would kill to be male. I don't want to be like this. I hate it. It's confusing and frustrating and sad. I know it's not wrong, but sometimes society makes me feel wrong. Am I mistake? Was I meant to be born? What went wrong to make me like this?

I sighed and pinched my temple. I couldn't sit here continuing to think like this. Or I might do what I did last time I... No, I won't think about that.

I heaved myself up and pressed my ear against my door. I sat there, listening until I heard both Itachi and Naruko leave the house, Itachi shouting up that I'm going to be late if I don't get a move on.

And from there I speed got dressed. I threw on a pair of tight skinny jeans that made me arse look fucking amazing and a cute black, fluffy jumper. I put on some simple winged eyeliner and mascara, then some pink lipgloss with tiny, tiny bits of glitter in. I put in my extensions and tied the back into a cute plait. I turned to the side and pulled the back of my jumper, showing my flat, male chest. Sighing deeply, I turned my mirror around.

Today was a bad day, and this piece of shit wasn't helping.

SxNxS

Naruko's POV

It felt strange waking up the next day feeling like this again.

I wasn't feeling like the confident woman I was yesterday, but I knew I had an image now. I had to keep over confident so people wouldn't fuck with me.

I grabbed my black skater skirt and put it on, along with black thighhighs, a cute All Time Low tank top and tied my checkered over shirt around my waist. I did my hair and put in my pigtails with the streak of pink in them and put on Jeffree Star lipstick to match.

I stared at myself in the mirror, suddenly very confident. Then he came to mind, Sasuke. Ahh, Sasuke. He is a very beautiful human being, isn't he? Goddamn perfect in every way.

There was something... different about him, though. Something I can't quite put my finger on. But it feels... familiar.

I left my house and remembered the conversations we were having the day before. Sasuke was telling me about his brother (Something that sounds like itchy, I don't know) and his father being strict. He then said...

Ah!

I was half way up the stairs of the bus when I rememered what he'd said. He'd told me he lives in the black house at the end of the street the school was on. So when I jumped off the bus, the events being less dramatic and interesting then it had been yesterday, I smiled to myself. I began walking down, seeing the black house sticking out at the end.

I used my phone reflection to check my teeth and to re apply my make up. I pulled my bra up and tightened the shirt around my waist. The steps up to his door made my thighhighs roll down a bit at the back, so I yanked them up, letting go and feeling them tighten around my newly shaved legs.

Carefully I pressed my finger against the door bell. I heard it ring out inside the house, then the stumbling of someone inside. I heard them begin unlocking the door and my heart pounding - what if he answered the door?

There was no need to worry, though, because Sasuke didn't open the door. Instead his older brother Itachi did, a piece of toast hanging from his mouth. He stared me up and down, one eyebrow up. "Eehh?"

"Er.., uhm" I felt the tips of my ears heat up. "I-I'm Naruko - One of Sasuke's friends?"

"Ahh, okay," He said and walked away from the door. I stepped in and carefully closed it behind me, making my way to the sofa his brother had told me to sit on. "I'm Itachi, and I'm Sasuke's very very attractive older brother," he said smugly, chest puffed out.

He then leaned down and whispered to me, pushing the toast he just bit into the the side of his mouth. "But, babe, don't worry. I don't swing the same way he does, if you know what I mean."

I nodded slowly. Is he trying to tell me he's gay?

Just as I opened my mouth to ask, an older man (probably in his late fifties early sixties) walked into the living room. He stopped when he saw me. "Who're you?" He asked, eyeing me up and down.

I smiled as bright and polite as I could, straightening my back. "I'm Naruko Uzumaki, one of Sasuk-"

"One of Sasuke's girl toys? Right, okay, I don't care." He interupted me and opened the front door. "Itachi, I want you to know that what you told me last night will not be accepted. We're not going to to talk about and I'll leave you to sort yourself out because, if you don't, I'm afraid I will have to get involved - and you don't want that, do you?"

After Itachi nodded the older man closed the door behind him. Itachi sighed and dropped his shoulders, running a hand through his long black hair. "Right, okay. Do you want me to tell Sasuke you're here or..?"

I sat there gobsmacked from what I just heard. One of Sasuke's girl toys. Really? Sasuke's one of them? Well, I shouldn't really be suprised. With looks like that of course he would be like that.

And what was all that I'll leave you to sort yourself out crap about? And if you don't, I'm afraid I will have to get involved - and you don't want that, do you?

After hearing that Sasuke has 'girl toys' I would have just got up and left right there and then, but that whole conversation.. I was so intrigued. I needed answers.

"Look..." I hadn't even noticed Itachi sit next to me. He put an arm around my small shoulders. "Honey, you're a pretty girl. You're just his type, actually. And if I could say what my father just said was untrue, then I would. But sadly, it's not." He patted my shoulder. "So if I were you, I would leave before you get in too deep. It's just the way he is"

I turned my head, suddenly feeling very comfortable in the arms of a man who has no sexual interest in me, and smiled at him. A warm, sweet smile. "No, it's okay. I'll wait down here for him"

Itachi stared at me like I was crazy for a few moments, before standing up and returning the smile. He span around and began climbing up the stairs two at a time.

When Itachi came downstairs and told me Sasuke had told me to fuck off I was quite offended. What happened to the nice, sweet guy I met yesterday?

I felt myself tearing up as I stood up. "Okay.. I'll go now, then"

I began walking towards the door when I felt Itachi wrap his arms around me. I turned around and returned the hug, crying ever so slightly. He patted my head and whispered, "There there," a few times. It felt like he'd done this before, many times before. After a few more moments and stepped back and smiled up at him. "Thank you for that, Itachi. You're a real sweet guy."

"I am?" He seemed genuinely suprised at what I just said, and then let his shoulders drop. "If only Deidara would think that.."

We walked to school together. On the way he told me all about his crush, Deidara, and how he was with this asshole guy Sasori. He told me he'd spent nights with Sasori before and how he was into this fucked up kinky puppet shit.

I was beginning to warm up and look up to Itachi. Like the brother I'd never had.

If only Sasuke was more like his brother.

It's short, I know, I'm sorry. Having technical problems, but they should be over now. Plus, it's summer. Expect more from me soon!