Bzzz bzzzz
Coffee tonight? Same place? My shift ends at 5
Sorry, I have rehearsal, rain check?
What time does rehearsal end?
Depends. Why?
Was counting on seeing you today... :)
I throw my phone lightly onto the bed unable to figure out how to reply. I lay back and suddenly my hands feel tingly and my stomach feels hollow. I can't help but smile as I feel blood rush to my head like a jolt of energy.
"Please tell me you're not doing anything after class?" Justin peeps through my locker door. "No why?" I ask. "Nothing." he replies with a little shrug, "Just wondering if you could help me with some homework or we could hang if you wanted - but only if you want to." "You're weird. Sure, I'll ask Dad to drop me off at yours after dinner. See you!" I say rushing to my next class leaving him in the hallway.
"Blaine? Blaine, are you there?" knocked David. "Yeah man," I say pushing myself off the bed. I open the door to find him in complete winter uniform. "Hey what's up?"
"Kurt and Trent need us, Wes left to get Tara."
"Oh, that's today?"
"Yup! c'mon, get your blazer and let's go." he demanded. "You okay?" I ask, grabbing my coat and scarf from behind my bedroom door. "Just wishing they didn't plan the whole thing in the snow."
There are a few students outside as we carefully trudge through the thin ice that covered the pavements. We pass by the Archery range, targets almost unrecognizable. The statues lightly covered in white and the trees all lifeless and bare. We push forward - headed towards the Aviary. "This is creepy." David adds, his voice lightly echoing, as none of the usual residents of the wrought iron cages are around. A rustle from behind stops us. I turn around I see a shadow coming at us at an increasing pace "Out of my way, coming through!" Trent screams running into both David and I. "Hey!" David shouts back Trent stops "Oh gosh! Sorry David. C'mon guys, we're nowhere close to finished! Blaine where have you been?" he asks mischievously and starts running farther into the woods.
Trent leads us to a part of the aviary I've never been before. An octagonal structure shined of metal and stained glass stood before us. It's surrounded with broken pots and what seemed to be wilted flowers. The tint of each glass pane shone brightly against the sea of white. Streams of light penetrate to the trees that surround the old greenhouse as the silhouettes of our friends moving about became clear to me.
I step in to find Warblers on the floor tying paper cranes onto clear nylon string. Nick, Jeff and Thad standing on chairs hanging ribbons. Andrew is busy lifting pots and tools to one corner, whistling as he clears the space effortlessly. "Hey there stranger." a very familiar voice calls from above, Kurt. "Hey partner, need a hand?" I ask. "Just a little, could you hand that basket over there so we can start hanging the cranes?" he requests. I hand him one crane at a time as he ties them onto branches and trusses around the greenhouse moving the ladder every few feet and making sure it stays in place when he climbs. "Thanks for yesterday." I say "What?" he asks from atop the ladder "I said thanks for yesterday!" I shout making my response echo and our friends stop.
We manage to hang most of the cranes, Trent and Kurt instruct us to move out. I stand by the door to watch the two lay more cranes on the ground, slowly filling the space we occupied. The greenhouse now looks so cheerful and colorful. A hint of bohemian chicness like Kurt's bedroom - a warm sanctuary at the center of the ice. They clear a sort of pathwalk and close the greenhouse door. "I say we did a good job." Trent announces, tucking his hands into his coat. "You did a wonderful job." I say, making Kurt turn to my direction, his cheeks are extra rosy today.
After dinner Kurt, Trent, Andrew, David and I sit by the staircase, waiting for Wes to come through the threshold. Its only two hours before curfew and most of the students are in their rooms as always. I find myself enjoying their company, I feel excited for Wes, I've never known anyone with a love for grand gestures. We're all pretty interested to know how it turned out.
"Do you think the headmaster sleeps in pyjamas, or a night gown?" Trent asks, as the headmaster exits from the hallway and heads out to the faculty dormitories after his rounds. The man has a Wolverine look going on, his hair springing off to the sides, a permanent scowl and a few grey hairs on his face. I didn't expect him to be accommodating when I first stepped into his office. But he's been really kind, greeting me by the hallways whenever we cross. "Imagine if he wore a onesie?" Kurt adds. "With ducks on it." David joins in, enthusiastically. "Wow, you're excited. Did baby David have a duckie onesie? Did you?"Andrew teases. "I bet you did. Baby David wearing a blue onesie with yellow duckies on them!" I add. "Oh ha ha..you guys are hilarious."David replies sarcastically. "I bet there's a photo somewhere." Andrew says. David falls silent, the four look at each other, I don't absorb their looks fast enough. Andrew stands and runs upstairs, Trent follows laughing, David almost trips on the steps trying to stop the two. Kurt stands up, ready to run, but I stay seated. "Not going?" He asks. "It'll be all over the network tomorrow, I'm sure." He looks up, deciding whether to follow the three or to stay. He stays.
"What are your plans for the holidays?" I ask Kurt as he leans on the wall and I stretch my legs across the steps below, head resting on a baluster. "It's our first Christmas as the Hudson-Hummels. So it's home and food, probably some decorating, a party with the New Directions and more food. You?"
"There's my sister's play, the Christmas spectacular and I don't know."
"You don't know? How can you not know?" He asks, concerned.
"I haven't been home for Christmas since I came out." I answer. We both stay silent for a moment.
"What was it like before?" He finally asks. I look into his bright eyes, shining like icicles, calming and caring.
"We would watch the tree lighting ceremonies at Rockerfeller Plaza. My Dad would drive us and we would sing in the car. When we get home he'd make his special hot cocoa with marshmallows, mint, cinnamon and cherries and something else he never told anyone. That was the best part, 'cause it tastes like... like... nothing else. Christmas morning he'd be downstairs by our makeshift tree, Eva is allergic to pine so we make this tree out of different photos from the year that passed. He would take out a camera and watch us open presents. We would visit my grandparents' home where my uncles and aunts would be waiting for him and me to sing a song on grandfather's concert piano." I stop before my voice breaks.
" Your family is very musical." He says. "One in every generation has this strong inclination to it. My grandfather, the only one in 4 siblings. My father in 3, but he chose to go for a law degree and among 9 cousins, little 'ol me."
"I have a feeling Eva will be changing that soon." He adds, making me smile. "I bet you're right, they've been counting on the wrong Anderson." I say. Another long pause hangs in the air as we watch snow lightly fall into the night.
"I think that's what he hates the most about who I am. He expected us to be so alike, he saw what everyone saw in me, a mini him. And I ruined that."
"He'll get there... I know he will. He's your father, he has to." Kurts adds, sitting closer to me now. I sit in silence holding on to what Kurt said like it could really happen one day.
"Hug?" Kurt asks. "W-what?" I stutter. "Hug in a cup?" he answers. "What's that?" I ask. "Nick made it up. It's Dalton hot cocoa with something special." He replies. "A secret ingredient?" I smile. "Exactly."
We sneak into the kitchen, I sit on top of a counter and watch Kurt move gracefully around the stove.
The mall is slowly filling with shoppers this early Saturday morning. I bury my hands in my pockets and sit across from the GAP store, waiting for Jeremiah for coffee before he starts his shift. I see him from afar joking around one of the cashiers. He's laughing loudly as he brushes the cheek of the red haired boy behind the counter. I stand abruptly, feeling like I witnessed a moment I shouldn't have. I walk away unsure of how I feel or what I just saw.
A few steps away he calls out to me, "Blaine? Hey! Where are you headed? I thought I recognized those curls." He runs his hand through a loose curl on my forehead, brushing it up. And there it goes again, this hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach. I look up, he's smiling. It reminds me of a very familiar smile. "J-jj-justi-just looking for an ATM." I stutter. "For coffee? Don't worry about it, I got you covered." He takes one of my hands from my pocket and leads me to the same quaint coffee shop we went last time.
We walk in, the first customers for the day. He asks me to take a seat as he orders. I find a sofa by the back end of the shop, no one would give us looks there. I untangle my scarf and wait for him with our drinks. This place is nothing like The Lima Bean. It has black painted walls, with dark wood linings and red carpeted floors. The whole shop is accessorized with books on shelves, some old and tattered. It's a more intimate setting as opposed to the clear ceiling high windows and chattering students found at the Lima Bean.
Jeremiah walks toward me with a full tray on his hands. "I thought we should have breakfast too, hope you like croissants." He sits beside me. "Well, this is comfy and discreet." "I thought you could use the quiet." I say, instead of revealing that I didn't want to have to see people glaring at us. "Are you going home for the holidays?" I ask. "No, just staying here, as always. I haven't been home in 2 years, not starting this year." I panic at the thought that we have that in common so I look down and start to open the plastic container, it cracks as I pop the edges. "Why are you always like that?" He asks leaning on the backrest and placing his arm behind me like he's done it before. "Like what?" I ask nervously. "When you find out something about me, like that I hate my job and my family, you look down. No follow up as to why. You always look like you're sorry. It's not offensive to know things about someone if that's it. I don't ask you out to hang so we could just stare at each other." He answers confidently. "That's not it. I just feel like..." I stop mid-sentence, why isn't this easy, shouldn't it be easy? Every time I stare into his eyes I get tongue tied. I lose all my words and I feel like I can't do this. "Never mind." I say. "Why don't you want to go home?" I ask leaning back onto his arm. "My father doesn't approve of my sexuality. So I told him to fuck off. I filled my backpack with essentials and escaped from Dalton. Took a few months before they found out." He says, eyes on mine.
"Y-you just left?"
"Yeah, he's never gonna change, I didn't want to be a part of a family where I wasn't accepted." He shrugs. "And you're doing well for yourself? Everything's a-okay with you?" I ask rolling my eyes, somewhat unbelieving of his nonchalance. I may not be in good terms with my father, but I would never up and leave them.
"Yeah, everything's fine. They don't have any idea where I am, I get to visit my brother because they never have time to."
My head drops again, he notices and lightly lifts my chin. "Let me tell you this Blaine: The time will come when you'll accept that there are people in your life that just won't bend to understand you. And all that's left is to take them out of your life completely so it won't hurt anymore." His words pierce my heart like a spear. Could that be my future? "What about your brother? Or your mom, wouldn't she want to see you?" "I didn't know you were really into family and all that. My brother needs me, he needs someone who will clear up all the bullshit my dad's feeding him. I'll call him soon. I do visit my mother, Westerville City Cemeteries, almost twice a week." He takes his arm from my back and starts to eat his croissant. "I'm sorry." I say.
I stop asking questions and we spend the rest of the morning talking about music. The differences in our tastes make us clash into these little debates. He hates musicals, I'm not really enthusiastic about metal. Though he's convinced he can convert me. "My shift starts in a few minutes. Guess I won't see you til after your break." He sighs. "Yeah." I say. He faces me again, brushing up another curl that's out of place. "Next time I pick where we seat. This is nice, but you need to stop caring of what others think of you. I'll help you there." "Okay." I say, defeated. It's not just stares, it's what might come after if we offend people, I don't want another Seth, not Jeremiah too.
He stands up adjusts his coat, looks my way and says, "Happy Holidays, Blaine. Hurry back."
"Happy holidays." I say as I watch him walk away.
I decide to go around the mall before heading back to Dalton for rehearsal. I try to look for some gifts for Eva and mom, maybe dad too. And something to wear for the performance at King's Island.
"Sorry I'm late, did a little last minute shopping. Long lines." I say as I enter our rehearsal space.
"It's alright, finally we're complete. Before we start, let's talk about our costumes. Warbler Trent has suggested we wear green and red scarves during. Any other suggestions, and No Jeff we will not be wearing Santa hats." Wes leads. I take a seat next to Kurt, who smiles brightly. "What do you think about white gloves with the red or green scarf?" He asks. "Go for it." I say encouragingly. His hand shoots up and he bounces with excitement when the rest of the guys agree to his suggestion.
"Alright, now that that's discussed, everybody take their places, hopefully we get it right before dinner." Says Wes, pounding his gavel and smiling. We're performing a mashup of All I Want for Christmas and Jingle Bell rock. We go through the harmonies easy enough. But our dance routine this time involves a lot of turning and changing places. We have the center of the ballroom to ourselves, meaning an audience on all sides for the first time. Everyone is focused and enjoying the uniqueness of the performance. We run through it perfectly thrice and the council decides to end the rehearsal for the day.
"Good work everybody. Now please go to your respective dorms and take your showers. See you all at the staircase in 15 minutes; wear something to keep you warm. I've prepared something special." Wes announces. Everyone leaves excitedly.
Kurt and I walk towards our hallway. "Wonder what it is?"
"My guess is a party, only a few more days 'til break."
"You're right. It probably is!" He says excitedly.
"You're planning your outfit in your head aren't you? I can see it in your eyes." I say stepping in front of him and closing the space between us. He looks shocked by my movements and stays still. I have no idea why I did it. I only meant to tease him but now we're just standing here, my face inches away from his in complete silence. He's glowing from the sweat of rehearsals, still a light blush of pink on his cheeks and his eyes on mine. It feels like I've been holding my breath for ages when I move back a few steps.
"Sorry."
"Uhm-yeah." He whispers. I turn my heels and start walking to my room, head down. My bedroom door clicks behind me and I feel silly. What just happened?
I step out the same time as Kurt and he smiles. We're good, no awkwardness, thank God. "You look nice." He says. "Compared to you, I feel under-dressed." I joke. He's wearing embellished combat boots, metallic black skinny jeans. His grey pea coat covers a black vest and a silver polo shirt accessorized with a yellow bow-tie. "Love the bowtie." I say. "Thanks. Yellow would look good on you too y'know" He says as wears his circle scarf while we walk down the staircase.
Most of the Warblers are huddled around the lobby, we join them and I lose Kurt to Nick and Jeff. Wes appears from behind me, "You're gonna love this." He whispers. "Alright, Warblers, all freshmen and new members please step to one side, the rest stand here behind Blaine and I." Kurt looks at me, asking what's about to happen. I smile coyly and wink at him. "Tonight we'd like to share another tradition with you guys. Other groups wonder how we do it. How do we work so well together? How are the Warblers more than just a group? You may have noticed we sort of love each other; we care for each other well beyond the rehearsal room and this school. Every year we have a Trust Walk: An exercise where you, the new members, are blindfolded. Each new member will be partnered with one from this end, and we will work through a little adventure in the snow together. At one point, we will switch blindfolds and it will be your turn to assist your senior. First team to find the finish line gets a prize. How you'll find the finish line, is up the two of you working together." David explains. "Now if you could please pass on the blindfolds Thad is handing out and we can start."
Kurt ties his blindfold carefully, the rest of the new members too. Wes holds out a hat, we each take out the names of our partner and wait for further instructions. I open the folded paper in my hand. Lance, one of the freshmen.
"Who did you get?" Trent asks popping out of nowhere. "Lance. You?" "Oh..uhm..Kurt? Can we trade?" "No, that's perfect Trent! You and Kurt… Aloooone." I tease. Nick and Jeff give me a judging look. Weird.
"Are you sure, Trent? This could be a wonderful opportunity for you."
"Yes, Blaine, hand it over." He sighs and rolls his eyes. "Alright."
Last year we had the Trust Walk a few days after I joined them, Wes pulled out my name and we managed to get through a maze the council built within west gardens in first place. It's definitely the reason why I'm a bit closer to him than the others. We spent hours talking that day about the most random things and distracting the other members with our voices.
David hands us instructions as to where each pair starts and flashlights. The finish line, the Aviary.
"No one is allowed to touch their partner to guide them after you proceed to your specific starting points. Freshmen, all you have to do is follow the voice of your partners throughout. Seniors text me when you arrive at your points. You'll start together. See you at the end. Goodluck!" Wes instructs.
Kurt and I are assigned to start in one of the chemistry labs. I take out my phone to text Wes we're ready.
"Ew… It smells like bleach, you're not drugging me are you?" He asks.
"So much for trust…"
"Blaine?"
"Not allowed to talk yet."
"You answered."
I laugh. I get the go signal text a few minutes later and stand in front of Kurt. "I know you have an idea where we are, but it isn't that easy. I know where the finish line is but I can't tell you." I lead him out of the lab and into the hallway, we're at the east wing, at least a few meters away from the main staircase, the only exit. "I have to spin you now."
"What? Why?" He asks worriedly.
"The exercise is 'trust', Kurt, 'why' isn't really a sign of trust." I say playfully. He sighs. "I don't like this, I trust you plenty."
"You say that now, wait til we switch. I bet you'll love it then." I spin him around 3 times. He wobbles a bit and I wait for some of the dizziness to settle.
I lead Kurt successfully out of the building, carefully down the slippery steps and out to the snow. Most of the upperclassmen are also outside. The goal now is to get them as far away from the aviary as possible and to give out clues in the process so that they know where to take us when we're blindfolded.
"Still there?" Kurt asks, standing confidently with his arms on his waist.
"Do you trust me?" I ask.
"Yes."
I lead Kurt to the opposite direction, away from everybody else. We trudge the snow covered gravel driveway towards the gates.
"This is awfully easy, I expected crawling and jumping and stuff." He says taking one step at a time.
"And ruin your outfit? You'd kill me. Okay, take a few more steps to your right a little."
We stop just a few inches from the Dalton Academy main gate. I took us here because somehow I know Kurt feels trapped in here, caged. He doesn't get to wear all his amazing outfits, because of the uniform. He doesn't get much spotlight, because of the council. And he doesn't get to see his family and friends often. But through all that he has managed to blend in, to power through, to survive. I'm hoping he gets the idea.
"We're here. Before I take off your blindfold, I need to tell you something. This is all about you. You can get us to the finish line because you're you."
I untie his blindfold carefully. He rubs his eyes and sees the wrought iron grilles. The street lights lining the distance. He stares at them, then looks to me, a little teary eyed. I hand him the blindfold and turn. He ties it around my eyes comfortably.
He spins me around as well and stands beside me as opposed to what I did. He instructs to just walk, we take a 2 turns, I assume we're headed towards the gardens.
We walk together, Kurt making sure I don't trip on anything. He makes the occasional joke of leaving me behind or not speaking when I ask if he's still there. "You're cruel. Also, no pressure but I won last year. If we get there last, you're to blame."
"What kind of clue is YOU'RE YOU?" He says sarcastically. "We're almost near the pavement now, in about 3 steps, the level will change."
"You seem to know where we're headed." I answer and he giggles telling me to just walk ahead.
"I've been writing, " I start to say. It may have been the blindfold, or that we haven't talked in a while, but I just knew Kurt would listen and that I wanted him to know everything. "in Justin's journal, I've been writing songs and letters."
"That's good. Now make a left after about 10 steps.."
"Mostly about how sorry I am. How I wish I could go back and maybe tell him it's okay not to go to that dance. How I wish I could hold him again. And how much I wish Seth didn't die. He didn't have to. I miss them both so much. I want to know what life is like for him now, where he goes to school, what his friends are like. But I don't know where to start. What if he doesn't want to see me?"
Kurt speaks only to tell me to walk slower as I fight the cold tears from my strained eyes. But I can't stop talking.
"I want to reach out to my dad but I have no idea how. I want to tell him to accept me or lose me. Maybe I want to leave this place and him forever. Because maybe that's easier...
I want to say I'm sorry for being such a disappointment, for letting him down. I keep on writing this speech, this long speech about how hurt I was when he changed, when we changed. Why did being my father end when I told them I was gay?
I want him to know how I have no idea where home is right now and I want so much to be in New York than Westerville. I want to sleep in my bedroom and have my mom's cooking for breakfast. I want to see my sister every day. Watch her grow and change. Influence her tastes in music and books. But home is where you're loved and wanted, and there's just no place for me in his life, he won't bend. How busy could he have been to not be there at my bedside after the attack? I want to say how much I want my Christmas to be like it was before, for Eva's sake and that most of all I hate myself for changing, for being..."
I stop walking. I can't sense Kurt anywhere. The cold is gone, so is the slush beneath my feet. Are we indoors?
"Kurt?" I ask, my voice cracking. "Kurt!" I ask panicking. "I'm here." I hear his voice from behind me. Before I could turn around, I feel his arms envelope me from behind.
Then more arms holding me tightly. "We're your home Blaine." I recognize David's muffled voice. Someone removes the blindfold off and my tears start to fall. Somehow I don't care that they know, that they
heard. "Don't you ever think that you're unwanted okay? Because the Warblers wouldn't be the same without you. I wouldn't be the same." Wes says, this is the first time I've seen tears in his eyes. "Yeah
man, I know we haven't been close but you know if you left we'd be heartbroken right?" David adds.
"I'm sorry, I was starting to tear up and I didn't want you to stop because you need to talk about these things. And you're perfect, your dad has no idea how amazing you are. I wouldn't be alive right now if-if it weren't for you." Kurt breaks down behind me. I turn around to face him, "It's alright." I hold him tightly, "Thanks, stop crying," I wipe his tears with my scarf, "We should stop crying. And hey you got my clue right." I sob into his shoulder some more. Wes and David try to gain some composure, I feel their hands on my shoulder and behind me, soothing me.
Andrew walks in with one of the freshmen. "Aww..we're second. I had to cluck like a chicken before he got it right. Hey what happened?" He asks worriedly. "Just having a moment." Wes says. "You okay bud? You can come over to mine's for Christmas. Y'know my mom thinks you're adorable." He says taking me under his arm. "Only because you're all 6 feet tall in your family." I say wiping the tears from my eyes. Wes hands me a few tissues from a table.
I smile, and they all gather around me arms wide open. I feel like somehow a heavy shadow lurking over me had been removed. I take deep breaths still trying to stop the tears from falling, but they still do. Only then, beyond my stinging eyes and fogged vision, do I notice where we are. The greenhouse, still decorated with the cranes and ribbons from Tara's surprise, now covered with pillows and a circular low table can be found at the center.
Kurt and I take our seat on some floor pillows next to Andrew and his partner, Max. Our eyes look puffy, I feel drained and sleepy. The warmth inside the greenhouse is comforting as I lay my head on Kurt's shoulder and drift to sleep.
I snap up when I hear party poppers sound off. I lift myself from Kurt's legs wondering how I got there. "How long was I out? Sorry, your legs must be numb." I say. My head is throbbing as I attempt to sit up.
"Don't worry about it. Probably an hour, but the last pair just got in, Trent and Lance. I think it's dinner time." He says.
"Thank you. I feel like I owe you more than thankyous."
"You owe me nothing." He cuts in. "Dinner maybe, we won gift certificates to Breadstixx." He says flashing an envelope, grinning widely.
"Done." I say smiling. My chest feels lighter.
Everyone gathers around dinner packs on their laps or on the floor, as the new members share their experiences for the night. Mostly the seniors imitated birds, the caretaker's voice or Wes and Tara. Trent apparently sang Jailhouse rock in the cold, his partner got it right but they got lost in the dark after their flashlight burned out.
Kurt went last, saying how I led him to the gates. At first he thought the finish line was outside. But he saw that it was locked. The city lights shone far from where we stood and it made him think of home. He mentions how he thought I knew him too well to know that he felt trapped in here. And he does sometimes, but the Warblers are the best birds in this cage and he couldn't be happier.
We all share a group hug, more stories and of course some songs. Some of the members are knocked out by the end of it. After Thad leads the others back to our building, Kurt, David, Wes and I try to wake up Nick, Jeff, Trent and Andrew.
"We could just sleep here too." I suggest crawling near Trent who managed to lie on most of the floor pillows.
"I'm okay with that." Wes says. "Me too," David seconds. "Me three." Kurt hits the light and plops beside me.
The moonlight shone through the glass walls and I found myself unable to shut my eyes. Today was a weird day. I didn't expect that by the end of it I would feel this peaceful.
"Blaine, when are you flying home?" I hear Kurt whisper.
"Right after the ball. You?"
"The day after."
"You're not really running away if you and your dad fallout right? What about Eva, your mom?"
"I don't know."
I take my laptop from the table and place it in it's case before I stuff it into my backpack. I've spend the whole afternoon packing and wrapping gifts. I don't even notice how silent my room has been until the end of it. Like my thoughts are too loud yet I don't want to tone them down. After getting dressed for the ball, I take a seat by my desk and start scribbling on Justin's journal.
December 20th
I'm flying home tonight. I get to see my sister sleep in her bed and wake up to breakfast with her. I could take her ice skating. I get to watch her play tomorrow night. We'll fly back for the Christmas Spectacular, her first Christmas away from home. I get to give her my gift personally and not have t hear her voice thru the phone. I get to hug my mother Christmas morning, and maybe see my aunts and uncles before the New Year. And I'll finally get to visit Seth's grave.
Trent peaks through my open bedroom door, the sun is finally setting wile I readjust my tie. "We're on in 30, meet you in the lobby." he says and knocks on Kurt's door to say the same. I place the red scarf over my shoulders, gloves in my back pocket and flip the journal shut.
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas
Is you...
What a bright time
It's the right time
To rock the night away
Jingle bell, time
Is a swell time
To go glidin' in a
one horse sleigh
I don't want a lot for christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stockings
There upon the fireplace
Santa Clause won't make me happy
With a toy on christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you...
What a bright time
It's the right time
To rock the night away
Jingle bell, time
Is a swell time
To go glidin' in a
one horse sleigh
All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of childrens
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need
Won't you please bring my baby to me...
Professors, benefactors and alumni give us a standing ovation. We take our bows and leave the ballroom. Gatherings like the Yuletide Ball are usually more formal, uptight and well...boring. The Warblers decide to grab some dinner off campus. I excuse myself, "I have to get ready for the airport." I whisper to Wes. "Really? No time for dinner? Airport food sucks." he says concerned.
"I'm good." I say. He gives me a one-arm hug and takes me to the side away from the group.
"Have a good holiday okay. We'll be right here when you get back, meaning come back. That running away bit, try not to do it. I don't know how that popped into your head but it's not something you would and should do. Call me if things go wrong."
He gives me a tight bear-hug. The rest notice and the awws echo through the ballroom lobby. It becomes a full group hug, and I hear some say we'll miss you, we love you. I give them all my thanks and head for our building.
I take a short hot shower and get into my jeans and hoodie. I close my dark brown suitcase, the same one I brought here almost 2 years ago. With everything ready, I rip off one page from the journal, cut off its rough edges and start writing down a little note Kurt.
I found these and thought of you. I kept on thinking why, and the
best that I can come up with is that things have changed for me since
you came into my life. And this is corny but, the sole purpose of a
key is to open a lock right?
I hope you have a Happy Christmas!
-Blaine
I take out the origami book I borrowed from the library and start to fold my note into a locked letter. With that I place my tickets in the journal, stuff it in my backpack and zip it up. I take my suitcase to the hallway, double check if all my windows are locked, grab my coat and scarf and I hit the lights. I kneel down to place Kurt's gift in front of his door when I stand up to find him walking towards me.
"So much for secret Santa." He muses.
"I suck. You were supposed to be surprised." I say.
"I am actually, I thought you left. I had to run back here to...give me a second..."
He takes the little box and my note from the floor and rushes to his room. He comes out and hands me a gift bag, stapled shut. I shake it, curious what's inside, it doesn't make a sound.
"Just a little something I thought you could use to brighten up your day. I found it this morning when I went shopping with Mercedes, it wasn't wrapped and I figured I could just send it to you and you'll be surprised..but you're here so I..." He says.
I don't let him finish, instead I wrap my arms around him, he squirms to wrap his arms free to hug me back. I could feel his breath on my shoulder when I whisper, "See you..when I get back."
"I'll be right here. Merry Christmas! "
We let go.
I detour to Wes and David's room to leave a box filled with red and blue cuff-links, I hope the guys like them.
Kurt's words echo in my ears until I reach the gates. I hand the driver my suitcase and turn around to take one look at the glistening lights that fill the courtyard. Truth is I still have no idea if I will go back or not, whatever happens in the next few weeks decides that. All I know is this place means more to me so much now than it has since I arrived. It used to be my hiding place from our attackers, the institution where my father won't have to deal with me and the place where I'm expected to mend myself.
Now it seems more like my only hope for any sense of family, any feeling of belongingness and maybe, my home.
The moment the plane takes off and the seat belt sign stops flashing, I fall asleep. Only a few hours later do I open my eyes after a stewardess tapped my shoulder to notify me that we're almost landing. I slide up the window by my side and the view of the skyscrapers' lights sparkling in the night fill me with excitement. I strap on my seat belt and rustle through my hair.
I rush out towards the exit as I grab my suitcase from the baggage claim area. I skim through the group of people waiting for their loved ones to exit too. I don't find my mother or Eva anywhere. I take out my phone dialing frantically, worried they might have forgotten. It rings twice when I see a familiar shade of grey on the shoulders of a man pushing through the crowd, trying to get to where I am. His face is one that I thought I've forgotten, but I could never. Because that face is only one that tells me, this is how you're gonna look like when you're older. That face is my face, only a little stern, less youthful and instead of full jet black curls, his hair is tinted with silver streaks. I drop my call. He stands in front of me and I am unable to move. Unable to reconcile why he's here.
He extends his hand and takes my suitcase.
"D-d-dad?"
TBC.
I am always, always, eternally grateful for everyone who's been following this story. It truly humbles me to know that you guys are interested in Blaine's past the way I imagined. It makes me want to finish each chapter and make every new one better than the last. Again, thank you! 3 if you guys are ever on Tumblr, i'm onceuponastaircase
-flutterfield