Omake: I. Will. Murder. You.
Le Awesome Jen Jen is le BACK! (Jo: You put one too many "le"s there, Jen. And THIS IS MY Author's Note! Not yours!) Me gusta. As you can see from the title, someone will be epically pwned. And, I suppose you know who shall do le pwning. I pity Envy. You shall find out soon why I do so. It's so weird, I like Envy, he's cool. But for some reason Song takes amusement in killing him every time… Ah well, comic relief on our very favorite Palm Tree Idiot.
Envy: Why me?
Song: Hey! Get back here AND WHO DID YOU CALL A SUPER ITY- BITY SIZED SHRIMP SO SMALL THAT I CAN CHASE YOU DOWN WITHOUT YOU NOTICING BECAUSE I AM SO SMALL THAT YOU CAN'T SEE WHERE I AM?
Kou: OH FOR GOODNESS'S SAKES HE DIDN'T SAY THAT!
Everyone:...wow Song, you made Kou snap.
Ed *le evil smirk*: Don't worry, I'm sure everything will turn out fine… Oh and Envy? We won't miss you.
Jen: *Le sigh*: Oh shut up Envy and stop chasing him Song oh wait HEY YOU UGLY PALM TREE DID YOU JUST CALL ME SHORT?
Al *frantic*: No he didn't! Oh no, Jen is laughing evilly.
Song: No, I'm laughing evilly!
Ed: Why? Where's Envy?
Song *Le points at puddle of gore*: This used to be him. Why?
Le others: *scoot scoot* Um… Nothing!
Jo: You use "le" to often, Jen. Really.
Envy *Reincarnates, immediately bends over will pain*: OW MY GAWD!
Ed: What happened?
Song *innocent face*: Oh, nothing. I kicked him in the nuts until his physical form couldn't take it anymore and he basically exploded.
Jo: Hey that's what I do! Copy-cat! First my phrases and now this? *Mopes in corner and starts making Envy voodoo doll*
Le others: Song, was that necessary?
Jen: Guys! Dude! I need to go to bed so get serious!
Kou: *Points at Song* her fault.
Song: *Points at Envy*: His fault.
Jen: Oh, so you actually call him a he?
Greed: Don't you?
Al: Doesn't everybody?
Jen: Er, no…
Envy: WHAT?
Song: Oh…
Kou: You see…
Jen: Me and Jo's archenemy Ro…
Song: Calls Envy…
Kou: A girl…
Jen: With funny hair…
Envy *Explodes as everyone else bursts into laughter*: WHAT?
Jen: Er, yeah…
Jo: So Envy, as I mentioned before, you are classified as an it…
Kou: Unless you want to be a girl?
*And then a series of events happened which came close to Envy chasing Kou, who simply killed him instead but oh, what the hell. Why am I writing this?*
Envy: NOT. FAIR.
Song: Why don't we just begin the chapter? Poor Envy.
Jo: No, he deserves it. HE KILLED HUGHES, DAMMIT! THE DUDE WAS LIKE THE ONLY DECENT COMIC RELIEF IN THE WHOLE THING BESIDES ED'S SHORT RANTS! *pulls out computer and starts typing up several very gory scenes in which Envy suffered a long and painful death*
Envy: *Screams as he suffers the wrath of Jo's writing, and therefore awakening the side of her that takes sadistic pleasure in seeing him drown in a puddle of his own blood, among other things* YOU'RE THE ONE WHO IS KILLING ME IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Song: 'Cause you called me short!
Kou: He didn't!
Jen: What did he say then?
Kou:… He said "Hey".
*Here is a moment of utter silence.*
Song: Oh.
Jen: Song… Why did I ever bother making you this violent…
Song: Because you did?
Jo: No, it's because Jen is sometimes more violent than Song.
Ed: Creepy.
Jen: I'm not creepy! I'm a crazy-weird-tomboyish-cycho-hyper dude! No way am I creepy!
Jo:…dude, you spelled "psycho" wrong. And I thought you said you weren't? Only weird and hyper, according to the last time I checked (Which was yesterday, you know.)
Song: ~Denial.
Jen: … Should I tell everyone here that you like…
Song: NO!
Jen: Then please shut up and stop insulting your creator and author. All of you. Though mostly Song.
Kou: Hey, I did nothing, NOTHING I TELL YOU!
Jo: Oh great, I'm rubbing off on you Kou. That or your kuudere-ness is showing. Ugh.
Al: Um… This is running off topic… And what's a kuudere?
Jen: There you go, someone who is actually smart enough to realize that. And yeah, Jo, what's a kuudere?
Song: Well you're the one who is writing the story! And umm…Jo answer the question.
Jo: I was going to, but someone wrote too much text and I couldn't fit it in… *glares at Jen* Anyways, a kuudere is someone who acts all cold and tough and stuff but is actually pretty damn fluffy.
Kou: HEY! I am NOT fluffy!
Jo: Not really, but hey, you're all nice and stuff. Close enough. It contradicts with your outer image enough to count.
Kou: Not. Nice. Ugh.
Song: Oh no, the appearance of the one-word-sentences…Kou's not happy. At all.
Jo: No duh. And really, I think I am rubbing off on him. Why else would he be using my classmate's "Not. Nice." phrase? OMG BRENT IS TAKING OVER KOU!
Jen: Oh, and I'm actually the author's character during omakes and notes and stuff.
Jo: As am I…
*Actual Jen*: Hi peoples. Sorry for being random. Why was I writing this again? Forgot. Oh well. See ya all. I shall now begin the story.
*Actual Jo*: Ugh, Jen, stop making this omake so crazy! I'm the one who has to edit it and frankly, I'm quite miffed that you didn't include me and messed up Kou's character…Oh whatever. You made the chapter too short, I had to fix it and make much longer. As in at least 400 words longer to meet my quota of at least 1000 words per chappie…I ended up adding 792 words to it…
Everyone: YES! THE STORY IS HERE!
Jen: … And you have to fight a load of bad guys.
Song and Kou: YES!
Others: …
Jo: Oh, well, at least some of you are happy.
By the way, peoples, I can't make an entire story on author's notes so you can go and check on my account—Rose of Salkara—for new updates on our stories. I am not going to broad cast any here so check on my account at least once per week because I will update about twice a week. Depends. So enjoy the stories, all you faithful readers, and hello to the new ones!
Jen, get outta my Authors Note again! My account! Not yours! MINE! Anyways, yeah, you heard her. Seems that now she is taking over my account. Whatever. If she does, I'll hack hers and put up the name of the guy she likes. (As if I would do that; there's no way in Hell that you'll get me to put up my friend's secrets!)
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or anything related to it.
Chapter 6: Red Eyes
Song chipped off the rest of the bark of her newly-made bow and checked the quiver. Then she watched the forest as she began to get a cold chill down her spine. Someone is watching us…
Kou played almost lazily with a necklace charm as his red eyes darted back and forth, ears twitching to every sound.
The homunculi really was just staring at the forest from their chosen spots and waiting.
Ed and Al studied the waves and noticed that even the normally cheery birds have gone deathly quiet.
The midday sun began to shine.
They had decided to wait for the red-eyed crowd to show themselves, seeing as after they had appeared, they had disappeared just as quickly. Kou looked up and nodded at Song, who stood up quietly and spoke.
"Everyone at their posts."
As the group tensed up Song walked casually to a gigantic forest tree that seemed to be giving off a lot of dark energy. Song suddenly mused to Kou.
"You know, If I get pissed off at someone I usually punch them. I didn't actually try kicking anyone for a pretty long time."
Song turned to Ed and patted the tree. "Hey Fullmetal, this tree is the source of a lot of dark energy. Alchemy seems to have no effects on it… So can you kick it down?"
Ed shook his head at the sight of the gigantic solid tree. "No."
"Al?"
"No."
"Mustang?"
"Hell no. It would ruin my uniform."
"Riza?"
"No. And sir, that was a rather idiotic reason to not kick the tree."
"Greed?"
"I could try. But the forest seems to go against my Ultimate Shield."
"Yeah, I can't turn into anything either."
"It appears I can't use my Ultimate Spear."
"That's not good. Hm." Song looked at the challenging tree. Suddenly a pair of red eyes appeared. More joined it as Song backed off slowly to view their position. Her instincts took over as she made a rough estimate of how many enemy are there. Song's natural leadership took control.
"Everyone spread out so they don't surround us. When they charge, go in fours or fives and fend each other's backs. Gradually make your ways to the sea. They might not give us a chance to, but once in shallow waters I can make a boat and everyone needs to get on at all speed. We can shoot them down once we are out of their range and where the dark energy will thin down. Kou, make a force field for us once on the boat (Jen: well, I admit that I am crazy-weird-tomboyish-hyper-psycho, but I am good at planning war strategies. It's what you get after reading so many books (all of them) of Redwall. Redwall is AWESOME!). Guys, shoot one arrow up and one down, that way they won't be safe anywhere."
Suddenly an impatient Grunt tripped and rolled out onto the sand. Kou growled and immediately caught it before it could get back. Grunts were human-like creatures with red eyes like Kou. They are highly intelligent and powerful things.
The struggling Grunt attempted to escape by flinging sand at Kou's eyes but for some unknown reason Kou simply blinks it away. Kou glared at it with his Ultimate Death Glare of Doom™ and Song glared at it with her Death Glare of Ultimate Doom™, making the grunt flinch and get quiet.
Then Song remarked to the Grunt casually, still staring at the tree. "You know, it would get much easier if we could get rid of the tree…"
She turned grinning to the speechless Grunt, "Think we can do it?"
"No." The Grunt sneered.
Song simply nodded to Greed, who passed it on to Lust to Envy to Gluttony to Pride to Wrath to Sloth to Kou and back to Song. Who took a deep breath and suddenly zoomed forward, did an amazing high wheel kick— and kicked right through the tree.
"Get into positions!" She yelled as Grunts—thousands of them—rushed from their hiding spot. Red eyes glinted in the sunlight as the group got into position.
Kou rolled his eyes and walked into the middle of a huge crowd of said red-eyed creatures. Glancing around him, the boy spun around with a kick, disabling many of the grunts which had gotten too close, and also distracted some as his long ponytail whapped them in the face. (It hurts like hell, trust me. I've done it before.) Then, he twisted his sleeves slightly, making three kunai* appear in each palm. The knives were soon embedded in the chests of his enemies. Another spinning kick and several kunai later, the crowd around him all lay on the ground, dead.
He glanced to Song, eyes glinting with an even sharper blood red than usual. "Hey Song," the Shadow Alchemist drawled, "You wouldn't mind if I changed the plan a little and killed these guys instead, would you?"
Song glanced over from where she as fending off ore of the creeps. As she sent one flying with a kick, she shrugged. "Doubt it. But how? Even you can't keep so many at bay."
Kou grinned. "Ever heard of combining alchemy?"
"Hmm…yeah, but I never tried it. 'Screaming Shadows', huh?" Song had a matching grin on her face now.
"Mmhmm."
Ed looked at the two as they seemingly effortlessly downed the grunts around them. He himself had taken a few hits due to the sheer numbers, and Al wasn't much better off. The colonel on the other hand, and Lt. Hawkeye, were untouched as the Flame Alchemist unleashed his explosive fury. "Hey you two! Hurry up with your plan!" Then the golden-haired alchemist slashed his arm (which was in the form of a blade) at several attackers and jumped back to create some spikes with alchemy.
The two complied quickly. Kou slammed his hands into the shadows of the trees in the forest, quickly rising them into a form similar to Pride's own shadows. (This created some commotion with Pride, who felt slightly miffed.) A cruel smirk came to play on his face as he directed the shadows at the grunts.
Song then started to use her echolocation, using the sound waves to surround the shadows at a high enough frequency to not only distract the grunts, but to slash through them with the vibrations. She then nodded at Kou, who compressed the air around everyone's ears to muffle the high pitched "nails-on-a-chalkboard" sound.
The "Screaming Shadows" as Song had dubbed it took care of the rest of the grunts, giving Ed enough time to locate the source of the pests: a strange alchemy circle with deep purple stones that resembled Philosopher's Stones. The Fullmetal Alchemist destroyed the circle and the stones, ending the barrage of grunts.
Ed sighed. "What was that?"
The group was now at the shore, resting a bit from the ordeal they'd just had.
Pride frowned. "I'm not sure, but Kou, how did you imitate my shadows?"
The teen blinked. "That? I just used the right alchemy equation and my natural affinity towards the shadows. Those things, coupled with the fact that I already know how you control your shadows, means that I can use them in the same way…with some additional improvements."
The Elric brothers looked on in surprise. Then…
"Okay, you know what? Let's just go in and kick the asses of whoever took Winry and get the hell offa this fucking crazy island!" Ed declared.
The others decided to do so, although Colonel Mustang forced the homunculi to stay behind to guard their stuff and to "not make a mess of things", much to the seven creatures' chagrin.
The five alchemists and Riza trekked through the forest when suddenly a dark shadowy substance surrounded them all and the six found themselves being dragged through the forest into a clearing.
Ed sat up, confused. "Wha?"
Everyone else appeared slightly shaken as well by the strange force. Then, all of them but Ed started to fade slightly, until they were pale blue and transparent.
"Guys?" The vertically challenged blonde was starting to panic now.
Suddenly, a voice echoed through the clearing and a patch of blue mist appeared on the other side.
"They can hear and see you, but you can't hear them, and they look like ghosts to you. A fitting scenario for our fight, is it not?"
The voice seemed young and feminine, but most of all, it held no animosity at all. As Ed got a clear view of who was talking, he froze. A girl stood there, looking about 10 or 11 years old. Her lips were pulled into a small smile. Most of all, though, the girl looked like a carbon copy of Song.
"Song?"
She smiled again, but it was cold and deadly.
"You are mistaken. My name is War."
Well, whaddya think? It doesn't include everything in the preview from last time, but that stuff'll appear in the next chapter.
Please review!
And yeah. Tell me what you think, Jen made me write all the action scenes and this is the second chapter with fight scenes I have ever written in my life, so yeah. (The first being Chapter 1 (not the Prologue) of Shadow's Path.)
Well then, ja ne!
~Shadow