Literally ten minutes later...

I can't do this.

Elena's asleep, breathing evenly and peacefully by my side. I can't believe I lied to her and got away with it. She can usually see right through me. I can't be a father. I just can't. You really screwed up this time, Nate.

Careful not to disturb Elena, I slip out of bed to get a bottle of water. I'm soon staring at three empty bottles and my thoughts haven't got past the screaming obscenities phase. I decide to take it a step further and do something I haven't done in a while: head up to the roof.

I try to breath deeply, but I find myself getting lightheaded all the same. I need to scream or something. I need to get it out of my system before I throw up or pass out or explode. Hands shaking, I pull my cell out of my pocket and dial the number that's been engrained in my mind like a tattoo. I pace the roof a few times before he picks up.

There's a deep sigh. "I don't remember ordering a wake up call for 3:00 am."

"Sully, I... I'm in some serious deep shit."

"Okay, slow down. Let's start from the beginning."

"Elena... Elena's..."

"...Yes?"

"Elena's pregnant."

There's a pause. "...And?"

"And... That's it! She's pregnant, Sully! Pregnant! What the hell am I gonna do! I can't have a kid! How can I be a par-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Nate, calm down. Take a deep-"

"Don't you fucking tell me to take a deep breath! I've been trying to take deep breaths for half an hour and all it's gotten me is three empty water bottles!"

"What?"

"Nevermind," I mumble finally collapsing against the wall. "Sully... I can't do this. I just..."

"Kid, it's gonna be okay. This should be good news."

"But Sully, my dad-"

"Who cares? He's gone. There's nothing you can do, but use him as an example. Don't be like him and you'll be fine."

"But... what if it's hereditary?"

"Abandonment is not hereditary."

"How do you know?"

"If you're gonna question my advice, you should have called someone else."

"No, don't hang up. I don't know anyone else who would pick up at 3:00 in the morning."

I hear him chuckle on the other end. "I'm still here, bud. I'm not going anywhere."

"Good 'cause I'm a wreck." I slide down against the wall to a sitting position. "I've been trying to be a good husband. This is just something I can't do. How am I gonna tell Elena? She told me she's always wanted this and that I'm 'the one'. She's gonna hate me."

"She's not gonna hate you, drama queen. If this is truly something you don't want to do, you need to tell her before she gets any further into this. But before you resign yourself to that, stop and think for a second. You don't have to be like your father. You're your own person. You won't make those mistakes because you've been on the receiving end of it. Just treat them like you wanted to be treated and they'll love you as much as you love them."

"But what if-"

"No buts. That's how love works, kid. And hey, if I could raise you to be slightly less of an idiot, you'll have no problem raising yours."

Hints of a smile tug my face, then immediately fall as I remember what we were talking about in the first place. "Sully, I don't know..."

"I'm not expecting you to know tonight or even tomorrow night, but just be thinking about it."

I sigh, leaning my head against the wall. "Okay..."

"Take a deep breath and let it out." Pause. "I don't hear you breathing." I breathe. "Good, now lay back on the roof."

I frown. "How did you know-"

"It doesn't matter how I know. Just do it."

I comply. "Okay."

"Look up and find the North Star."

"Uh... Yeah, I got it."

"That's your anchor. If you're ever lost, look to the North Star. It'll help you find your way."

"Sully, you taught me that when I was like 16. Are you starting to lose it?"

"No, I'm reminding you. Sometimes it helps to have a place to look for help."

"How is the North Star gonna help me with a baby?"

"It's metaphorical... I think. You'll understand eventually."

"Wow, that was really helpful. A metaphor I don't understand now, but will help me later. You really are a crazy old man."

"Just trust me. You can do this, kid. Having a child is a big deal. It might make you uncomfortable at first, but you'll learn to love it." He heaves a sigh and says, "Now get some rest. It'll help you keep your head."

"Thanks for putting up me, Sully."

"Always, kid. Now get your ass in bed. Be careful on that fire escape."

"I will. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."