Chapter 24
Note: Ok, so this is kind of a long one, but it's important for how we progress from here. Thanks for all your great reviews!
Kate felt like the stereotypical mental patient, as she lay on her couch, Dr Burke sitting in the chair by her feet, notebook in hand.
"So, Kate. I understand that you had a bit of an accident. What can you tell me about that?" Dr Burke asked. Or at least the actor who played Dr Burke. The real Dr Burke was sitting in front of a monitor, down the street, listening and feeding him lines as the two spoke.
"Not a whole lot, actually. I don't really remember the accident. I remember chasing a suspect onto a fire escape, and then waking up to Castle and a bunch of other people standing over me. All I really remember after that was everyone looking at me like I'd lost my mind. No one would say why, but they all just stared with these funny looks on their faces. Castle still does it sometimes."
"So you don't remember how the accident occurred?"
"Not really. I'm guessing I must have slipped when I was running, but I don't really know. To be honest, Dr Burke, I don't see why not remembering those 30 minutes or so is such a big deal. I feel fine, no headaches, no fainting spells, nothing. So why can't I get back to living my life, and why is everyone treating me so weird?"
"Honestly, Kate, I wish I could tell you that. The truth is that, you have a very rare type of amnesia. You may be experiencing more issues with your memory than you may be aware of. There are things related to your accident, and your life in general that you seem to have some confusion on."
"I'm not confused! Why does everyone keep saying that? I feel fine!"
"Please, Kate, try to stay calm. I know this is frustrating for you."
"The only thing frustrating is everyone thinking they know me better than I do."
"In this case, they may, Kate." She gave him a confused look. "Do you trust me?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Good, and do you trust Mr Castle?"
"Of course I do. He's my partner, I trust him with my life."
"Then do that. Trust us with your life, and let us help you." He held up a hand. "Before you say anything, please. You may not feel as if you need help, but people with your condition rarely do. Believe me when I say that things may not be exactly as you remember them or perceive them to be."
"What the hell does that mean?"
"It just means, Kate, that your brain was injured, and during that injury, it rearranged some things in your memory that have caused you to view things a bit differently."
"Like what?"
"I can't tell you that."
"Why the hell not?"
"Please, Kate. This is a very touchy situation, one in which you need to discover these inconsistencies on your own. Up until this point, until I was able to meet with you, your friends have been playing into these inconsistencies at my request."
"What!? My friends have been lying to me!"
"They have not been lying to you, merely following your lead, and allowing you to believe what your mind was telling you to be true."
"Why didn't they just tell me the truth?" Kate felt tears starting to burn her eyes. How could her friends betray her like this? How could she trust any of them now? What about Castle? Was he lying to her too? Is that why he was acting so weird?
"They tried to, from what I understand, at the hospital. The result was so bad that you needed to be sedated. These people love you, and have gone to great lengths, more than you could ever imagine, to keep you safe. Please, trust us, and let us help you."
"Trust a bunch of people who are lying to me? Really? You're kidding right?"
"Kate, if they hadn't, it was very likely that your brain, in an attemp to protect itself, may have caused irreparable harm. As it is, I can help you. But you need to trust me."
Kate sat there, staring straight ahead, not really seeing. Is what he said true? Was that why everyone was looking at her like she'd lost her mind? Because she had?
"Ok, Dr Burke, what do I need to do."
"This may sound strange, but I need you to observe yourself. No one can tell you which things are accurate, and which are things created by your mind. You will begin to discover them on your own. First, and I know this will be the hardest for you, you need to stay in your apartment."
"What? I'm under house arrest?"
"No, this is not a punishment. It is to protect you. We need to limit your stimulation until you have made more progress. Too much at once may shock your system. You are welcome to have friends and family visit, but I ask you not to leave."
"Fine, what else?" Kate asked bitterly.
"I want you to keep a journal. It must be very detailed. I want you to jot down any time that you feel a sense of something not quite right, may it be something that seems familiar when it shouldn't be, or should be but isn't. If certain memories have gaps, or don't make sense. People who you know, but how and why don't make sense. Anything like that. In the mean time, be patient and let your friends help you. Now, on the topic of your friends. As I have said, they have been following your lead, so make special notes about memories regarding them."
"Is this why Castle has been acting so weird?"
"Weird? In what way?"
"The way he looks at me, like his love has turned to pity. He used to be so affectionate, now he won't even touch me. We haven't had sex since the accident. Hell! He won't even kiss me properly!"
"In regards to Mr Castle, I can tell you that he does care about you, Kate. Without a doubt. He has gone farther than anyone in this attempt to help you. I do however believe that it would be best if you kept the intimate side of your relationship to a minimum at this point. Only do what he seems to be comfortable with. He knows you better than you do right now, trust him, and let him take the lead in that area. Trust me, when this is all over, you'll thank him."
"I hope you're right. He left this morning and I haven't heard from him since. The boys said that he said he'd be back but..."
"Then he will be. Trust him, Kate."
"Ok," she said as she heard the front door open. She turned to see Castle walking through the door.
He looked over and spotted Kate and Dr Burke sitting in the living room.
"I'm sorry, didn't realize you were still here, Dr Burke, I'll just come back later."
"No, please, Mr Castle stay. I was just leaving. Great session today, Kate. You have my number if you need me, otherwise I will be back in a week to check on you."
"Thanks, Dr Burke."
"You're welcome, Kate. Don't forget to do your homework."
"Yes, sir."
"Good. Mr Castle, can I see you in the hall for a second?"
"Sure, I'll be right back, Kate."
She nodded at him as he followed the doctor into the hall.
"So, how is she?"
"She's agreed to the treatment the doctor prescribed. I have all the information in here," he said, handing him a folder. "Slowly introduce her to stuff from her real life, it should start to trigger true memories, or at least bring out inconsistencies. Don't tell her anything outright, as it may overwhelm her, let her lead."
"Thank you for doing this."
"She's a great gal, I could never say no. Oh, and I have asked her to follow your lead in regards to intimacy, should take some of the stress off of you."
"Thanks for that."
"No problem, now get in there, and help our girl find herself."