Chapter 25

Castle came back into the apartment to find Beckett still sitting on the couch, staring at her hands. He walked over and sat down next to her, gently putting his hand over hers. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Castle."

"Woah, wait. Sorry for what?"

"For not remembering. For being so difficult. For hurting you."

"Hey now," he said, pulling her into his arms, "first of all, you not remembering is not your fault. You can't make yourself remember something your brain doesn't want you to. Secondly, you are not being difficult. You are reacting the only way you know how, in a very complex situation. None of this is your fault. As far as hurting me, the only things that hurts me, is seeing how all of this hurts you and not being able to do a damn thing about it."

She looked up at him and gave him a small smile.

"If anyone should appologize, it's me. I walked out on you when I should have been here helping you. I was such an ass. I'm so sorry."

"But, Castle, you have been helping me. Dr Burke said that you have been protecting me this whole time. He wouldn't tell me how or from what, but he said that you've gone to great lengths to do it." She looked down at her lap, tears running down her cheeks, "just like you always have."

He placed his hand on her cheek, tipping her face up to meet his eyes.

"And I always will."

He pulled her into his arms and held her as she cried, rubbing small circles on her back.

"I thought I'd lost you," she whispered into his shirt. "When you left, I thought I'd lost you."

He looked down into her eyes, "Why would you think that?" Had he really made her think he wouldn't come back. God he felt like an ass.

"I thought maybe you thought that I was lying again. But I swear I'm not."

"Lying? About what?" He was totally confused. What was she talking about?

"About not remembering the accident. I thought maybe it reminded you of after I was shot. I promise you, I will never lie to you again, and no more running, I am here to stay."

"Oh, Kate. That never even crossed my mind." It truly hadn't. Damn Marlowe and his complex storylines. So much to remember.

"I know Dr Burke said that there is a lot I don't remember, or don't remember correctly, but I can tell you this. There is one thing, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am sure of."

"What's that?" He asked.

"Us."

He stared at her, not knowing what to say. One of the biggest misconceptions of all, and that is what she's most sure of?

"I know that I'm not always good at expressing how I feel. You're the one that's good with words, not me. But I know without a doubt, and I want you to know too," she took a deep breath, "that I love you." She stared into his eyes so confident and sure. "I love you, Richard Castle, and I may not have said it before, but I have always felt it. My walls are gone, and my heart belongs to you. Always."

She reached up and placed a light kiss on his lips as he just sat there, stunned, no idea how to respond to that.

"You ok, Castle?" She asked, after he had sat there frozen for a while.

"Huh? Uh, yeah, I just, wow."

What do you say to that? He didn't know if it was right, but he said the only thing he could think of.

"I love you too, Kate. I love you too."

They spent the rest of the evening curled up on the couch watching movies, that he knew from their discussions on set, that she enjoyed. He stayed away from any that she had actually appeared in, just yet, figuring it may be a bit soon to actually see herself on screen. After she had fallen asleep on his lap, he carefully lifted her and carried her to bed and tucked her in.

Still feeling wide awake, he decided to see what was on TV. Just as he went to sit down, he received a text.

"Package left at the door, things that may be helpful. Good luck. -Burke"

He retrieved the package and opened it to find things that someone had retrieved from her real apartment. Her iPod with all of her ATP playlists, her favorite movies, books, perfume, jewelry, and a few outfits. All were carefully chosen as items that were so totally her, but definitely not Beckett. He took the box and hid it in the back of the closet under a bunch of extra blankets. He would start with her perfume and iPod. He knew how strong memories could be tied to certain smell and sounds, maybe it would be enough to help bring her back.