Chapter 28

He glanced at the clock, in the corner of his computer screen. 4:47 am. Another sleepless night. He had stayed up all night, googling every Castle related thing he could think of. What he found terrified him. Between the network and the fan base, he almost believed this guy was real himself. He even has his own website, complete with pictures and updates on his latest novels. Castle and Beckett had their own Twitter accounts and Facebook pages, not to mention all of the fan art and stories. He decided right then and there, that she was not allowed to have any Internet access until this was all over.

Once she had fallen asleep, he had snuck out of bed and called Dr Burke. While he agreed that the books were probably not the best thing for her to be exposed to, he was hopeful that the presence of other personal items may override the damage done.

They decided that today he would need to start pressing a little harder. Start talking about things that had happened in Beckett's life that may trigger memories that are inconsistent with what her mind knows to be true.

She woke up and stretched, feeling his side of the bed cold and empty again. She stood in the doorway, watching him, sitting on the couch, huddled over his laptop. She knew when he was writing, he could go for days on very little sleep, but somehow this seemed different. He seemed different.

He wiped the sleep from his eyes as he closed his lap top. He figured a good strong cup of coffee was in order if he expected to be of any help to her today.

He placed the computer gently on the coffee table, and as he went to get up, she appeared in front of him, coffe cup in hand.

"Here ya go, thought you could use a cup." "Thanks." He smiled, as he scooted over, making room for her on the couch next to him.

"Did you sleep at all?"

"Mmm, little bit." He mumbled, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Nikki keeping you up?"

"Something like that," he smiled at her.

"How did you sleep?"

"Good," she said, "better if you'd been there with me. It's kind of cold and lonely without you." She curled up against him, leaning into his chest. Inhaling his sent, and enjoying the way the heat from his body seemed to radiate around her, warming her, inside and out. She rested her head back against his chest, just enjoying being close to him.

He had given up trying to push her away at times like this. If an innocent cuddle is what she needed to feel safe and happy, he wouldn't deny her that.

"I was thinking," he started.

"Didn't hurt yourself, did you?" She laughed.

"Oh, look who's full of jokes this morning." He couldn't help but smile at her. She really did enjoy teasing him. "So, anyway, I was thinking, maybe today we could just kick back and relax and reminisce a little. Maybe a little trip down memory lane together will trigger something."

"I guess that would be ok." Beckett felt her chest tighten a bit. They had never been good at talking about things between them, they had gotten better at it the past few months, but was now the time to drudge up the past? There were so many things that they should have talked about, but never had. Was she stable enough to even attempt that right now?

He could feel the tension in her body. "Don't worry," he said, rubbing his hands up and down her arms. "We won't talk about anything you're uncomfortable with. Just write it in your journal, and you can talk about it with Dr Burke, it we can leave it for another day.

She looked up at him and smiled. He had always been able to read her so well. Like he had his own personal line to her thoughts and feelings, a connection he had always used not for his gain or personal pleasure, but to give her exactly what she needed, even when she didn't know she needed it.

"Ok," she took a deep breath "where should we start?"

"How about at the beginning," he said. "How about we start with your mother."