Chapter 30

Kate lie there, sobbing into his chest. He hated seeing her like this, but was thrilled that his plan had worked. Of course she didn't remember her childhood, it had never been written. The show had started her life's backstory at the moment her mother had died. Other than a few tiny references, Kathrine Beckett did not exist prior to January 9th,1999. This was good, very good. This was a step in the right direction. Beckett may not have existed prior to that date, but she definitely had. Now to just get her to remember that. The question was, how?

He sat there rubbing her back and whispering words of comfort in her ear. Slowly, her breathing returned to normal.

She looked up at him, pleading. "Why can't I remember? Why can't I remember half of my life, Castle?"

He stared down at her, not entirely sure how to answer her. He hadn't really thought that far ahead when he had asked her that question. Just as he was about to answer, he felt his phone vibrate with a text message. He glanced down at it. It was from Dr Burke. He must have been watching. Good! He could tell him what to tell her. He opened the text to see four little words, words he had never expected.

"Tell her the truth."

Really? He thought. Wasn't it kinda soon to jump in to that? Just then another text came through.

"Trust me, she's ready."

He took a deep breath and looked at the woman in his arms. She seemed so fragile, so scared and so vulnerable. They really thought she was ready for this? He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and looked into her eyes. How to explain this. He wasn't even sure he understood it himself.

"The truth is, Kate." He took a deep breath and looked deep into her eyes. "The truth is, you don't remember you're childhood, because it never happened."

She sat up and looked at him totally confused. "What do you mean it never happened? Of course my childhood happened! I didn't just suddenly appear here as an adult, Castle! Just because you didn't know me back then, doesn't mean that I didn't exist!" She was livid. Who was this arrogant asshole, telling her that she had no childhood? Like she couldn't exist without him.

"Actually, it does."

"What the hell does that mean?" She shoved him away from her as she got up from the couch and started pacing.

"Please, just calm down, Kate, and I'll try to explain everything."

"Calm down? Calm down, Castle? You're telling me that I only exist in your world, and you want me to calm down?!"

He got up and went to her, turning her to face him. She shrugged off his hands and stood staring at him, hurt and anger in her eyes. He looked at her, and she could see in his eyes some of the hurt reflected back at her.

"Fine, explain." She went and sat in the chair, no longer pacing, but not where he could sit close to her either.

He ran his hand through his hair and sat down on the end of the couch closest to her.

"Do you trust me?" He asked.

She just stared at him, not saying anything.

"Please, Kate. Do you trust me?" His eyes were pleading. She could see the worry and pain in his eyes. She did trust him, but he wasnt making any sense.

She looked him in the eye, " You wouldn't be staying here if I didn't."

"Good." He smiled, "now what I'm about to tell you may sound completely unbelievable and I'm not sure I really understand it myself, but I promise you, that I will tell you the complete truth, and answer any questions as honestly as I can. Do you trust me?"

She stood there, staring at him, not knowing what to say. She was used to Castle's crazy theories, so if he was finding it unbelievable, how was she supposed to believe it? A little voice in her head told her, "because you love him and trust him."

"Ok, Castle, I trust you. Now what the hell is going on?"