Abandoned thoroughfare
Four kilometers outside Nuvia City, Risa

Malcolm was doing his best to pretend he knew anything about what these men were telling him. Doing his best to play along, adding his entirely made up on the fly commentary…

But he was a terrible actor. It was as simple as that. And however he must have acted when these guys saw him at that 'Iron Pit' club, Trip could see that it must not have been anything at all like the stuffed shirt Malcolm they all knew and loved.

Because just about every time he opened his mouth to comment on something, all the guys just kinda looked at him a little funny.

Trying not to. You could see they really wanted Malcolm to be the amazing 'British', so they were trying to gloss over how this guy and that guy didn't quite match up somehow. Trying to ignore the odd way he tried so hard to describe some horrifically violent fights in a prim and proper…and clearly uncomfortable…manner.

And, really, Trip was having a hard time believing the guy they were describing was Malcolm. It sure as heck didn't sound anything like him at all.

If he hadn't heard Nallin call Malcolm 'British' himself on more than one occasion…he'd really have to seriously consider there might be some other guy running around with a Vulcan, an Orion and a couple of Humans. There'd just have to be.

Fact was…this wasn't going to last long. Sooner or later these guys were going to have to give up and accept that there was something fishy going on. At the very least they were going to have the opportunity to remember why they were here. And it wasn't to meet 'the British' and fawn all over him.

It was to pick up over a billion credits in trade certificates they'd probably stashed here.

And then they were going to finally have to wonder what they were doing here.

They didn't have a lot of time before that happened. And Loya was wasting a lot of it being insecure about her ability to distract one dumb thug.

"I don't smell right!" Loya hissed.

She, Trip and T'Pol had managed to sort of wander around behind the guys to listen to the story being told…so they were right in between these five guys all over Malcolm and the one guy who, damn the luck, had decided to hang around by the truck instead of going over there with the rest of the guys.

Or maybe T'Pol was right and they really did have a half ounce of common sense between them. And so left one guy to guard the truck while they…ran off to get an autograph from 'the British' or whatever.

But if Loya kept 'whispering' so damned loud, someone was going to hear her.

"That doesn't matter, Loya." Trip insisted, quietly. "And keep it down."

"Yes it does! It's matters lots!" She hissed, even louder.

"It. Doesn't. Matter." Trip gritted, through his teeth. "Just go back there and get past the guy. You're a good looking Orion woman. Trust me, that's all it takes. Just look interested and…get him in the truck. You don't need pheromones."

T'Pol leaned in then, out of nowhere.

"Perhaps I should make the attempt." She suggested.

Trip…

…suddenly found himself in a pretty deadly situation here. Forget about the thugs, how the heck do you tell your Vulcan bondmate that she's less likely to successfully seduce some dumb thug than an Orion who can't even project pheromones?

Yeah, here there be dragons.

And besides all that…hell, no!

Because she probably would pull it off, in fact. She was a damned sight better looking than Loya. And these guys were all sexaholics, weren't they? He wasn't about to let her climb in the back of the truck with some…Risian sex freak! What the hell was the matter with her?!

T'Pol apparently picked up on all that right away though. Real time, as it was happening.

And, yes. Thank you, mate bond, for being so helpful. Let's let T'Pol know everything we're thinking, okay? Because that's a great idea…

She cocked an eyebrow up at him.

"I only suggest that I might be more successful than Loya, considering her utter lack of confidence." She said. "But it occurs to me…you would likely be more successful than either of us. He is Risian. And we are in a desperate situation."

Wow.

Well, that just went from bad to worse in a real big hurry.

"She can do it." Trip insisted. Mostly to avoid getting roped into this himself.

"I can't!"

"For crying out loud, Loya!" Trip whispered, fiercely. "How'd you ever get Malcolm in your bunk in the first place?"

"I just asked!"

"What do you mean you just asked?"

"I just ask, 'Malcolm, will you make sex with me?' Then he says, 'Yes, I'd love to.'"

Loya just looked back at him when he stared at her. And he could see…she was perfectly sincere.

So Trip just stared a bit more.

Because…seriously?

"That worked?" He finally managed.

Loya just shrugged. Apparently.

So Trip stared some more. Then squinted, because he didn't believe it.

"There was more to it than that." He insisted.

"Trip," T'Pol said, waiting until he looked at her before finishing. "Would you have sex with me if I asked that way?"

That shocked the hell out of Trip. And what the heck kinda crazy question was that?

"Well, yeah!" He said, instantly. "In a heartbeat. What kinda crazy question is that? It's not even the same thing…"

T'Pol just nodded at Loya, ignoring him.

"Try that." She said, jerking her head a little back at the thug at the truck.

Loya chewed her lip, fretfully.

"It won't work." She said, uncertainly.

Then…

"Will it?"

T'Pol gave her the eyebrow. Because, of course it would.

"He is Risian." She said, simply.

Loya chewed her lip a little more over that.

Then sighed, reluctantly.

"Okay."

And she was off.

Trip rubbed his eyes slowly. And groaned a bit.

"This is gonna be bad." He said.

"It will be fine." T'Pol said, confidently.

"No." Trip frowned. "It's gonna be a disaster. We better get ready to just fight these guys."

Loya made her way over to the truck. Like she was just wandering over here…just as casually as she knew how...

So she was very awkward and jerky about it. Nervous and almost spastic.

The thug looked at her as she…very ungracefully sauntered over. And he squinted suspiciously.

Because…that was pretty suspicious.

"Hi!" Loya said, far too forcefully. As if she'd just noticed him there, which obviously wasn't true.

"Hi." The Risian frowned.

Loya picked at Malcolm's shirt then, chewing her lip and looking around for something to look at. Other than this guy she had no idea what to do with.

She'd never actually seduced anyone before. She always just said yes when Human men came on the station and seduced her…

So…no idea here.

She did put her hands behind her back though, since picking at the shirt probably wasn't attractive, maybe.

Writhing her fingers together nervously back there, while the guy just stared at her.

"I've never been to Risa before." She said, suddenly. Since that was the first thing that popped out of her mouth.

"Okay." The guy said, still frowning.

Loya nodded, finding that interesting. Because Trip said 'be interested'.

So…okay.

Well…

"Have you been to other places?"

"No."

Loya nodded. That was very interesting.

So…

"You want to make sex in the truck?" She asked.

The guy squinted at her.

And looked her over one good time...

Then his eyes lit up. And he grinned.

"Okay." He said, brightly.

So Loya's eyes lit up, too. And she grinned as well.

Because, huh. Trip was right. That was pretty easy.

"Oh." He said, suddenly. "Wait."

Or…not. What…?

"Aren't you with the British?" He asked, suddenly concerned.

Oh.

Right, she forgot about that.

Humans were total backwards about sex. And so maybe this guy knew that.

"He doesn't mind!" She said, lying badly.

And obviously.

"I don't know…" He said, uncertainly. "I heard he beat up about a dozen guys at the Pink Cloud. And I hear Humans are weird about sex."

The…Pink Cloud? That sounded familiar…

"Hey, was that you?" He asked, suddenly.

"What was me?"

"Dancing at the Pink Cloud."

"I…" Loya said, uncertainly.

No, she didn't dance at places around here. She just got here.

But, then again…

"Yes." She said. "Definitely. We can make sex in the truck, then I can dance for you."

Whatever. If it got him in the truck…

Or, wait…maybe she had that backwards…maybe dance then make sex…?

Pretty sure that's how it was supposed to go. Right?

"I don't know. I don't want to make the British mad at me. He's Human."

Loya nodded. Yes, that's very interesting.

Now, how to get him in the truck…?

"Maybe…he won't see if we're in the truck?"

The guy frowned.

"Well, I don't want to do it if we're going to be quiet about it and not even shake the truck."

Loya nodded. That's interesting.

He was still frowning.

So...this wasn't working.

Now what?

Well, never mind then. She'd just stick to what she knew.

"Wait." She grinned, like she just had a great idea. "Come here."

And she went around behind the truck.

And when he followed her around…she snatched him by the larynx.

Really tight. So that he had to stand there and choke while she lined up her shot.

Then she chopped hard and sharp, right at the side of the neck. Where she hoped Risians had the same major vein running there that everyone else did. And that it had the same knockout effect...

They did, apparently.

She let go of his throat and he hit the dirt. Out cold.

So she rooted around in his pockets until she found the key to the truck.