"I want a divorce."
I drop my fork and knife and look at her. We are in my favorite Chinese restaurant, on my birthday. The paper is on the table, folded up neat and meticulous, just like Rose.
"Can you please tell me why you want a divorce?"
"I think it's self explanatory, Jake. We have nothing together that isn't founded on a Junior High crush and disillusionment. I'm not happy living this lie."
What lie? We've been married ever since we got out of high school. Five years. Five long, prosperous years. And she wants to end it?
"We have nothing in common, we used to be enemies and we still have bad blood among our families for their misdeeds…"
"Cut the bullshit, Rose. You knew that we were past that. Whatever static we had was settled back in high school. We've been through too much for you to just throw in the towel and say 'fuck it'!"
I closed my eyes and counted to five. Then I looked back at her.
"Rose, tell me the real reason you want a divorce, tell me why you picked my birthday of all days to hand me the divorce papers."
"I don't love you anymore, Jake. In fact, I don't think I ever did."
Ice fell into the pit of my stomach, and my heart felt like a hole burrowed inside of it.
"I thought I was in love with you, but I realized it wasn't real love. It was infatuation with an idea of a normal life, of a fairy tale romance that erased who I was forced to be. Jake, you're an amazing guy, but you don't love me. You are infatuated with me. You are still stuck in that Junior High puppy love that won't go away. We have no chemistry, no common interests besides us holding secrets from each other, and that's not the foundation for a healthy relationship and you know it. "
"How dare you say I don't love you. Rose, I love you more than life itself. I will do anything and everything to make you happy and we've done everything to put the past behind us. Please, Rose. Don't end this. Don't end it like this. I love you,"
My vision is blurry, I try to grab her hand for support, but instead, I grabbed her wedding ring.
"I'm sorry, Jake. But you need to stop confusing love with lies. This marriage, this love, this false sense of happiness, are all lies. You don't love me, Jake. You love the idea of me. Please, sign the papers and I'll be on my way. Goodbye."
Her lips pressed against mine, and for once, it felt final. I'll never kiss those lips again. Tears are falling down my face, my arms fighting against pressing her body against mine and crushing her, my mind pleading with her to tear those divorce papers to shreds and tell me it's some sick joke. But I knew.
It's over.
She left, her sun kissed scent of strawberries and vanilla kissing me goodbye. I stare at my half drunk glass of wine and I knocked it down in one gulp. I look around the waiter and notice all of those happy couples slow dancing to Peter Gabriel's 'The Book of Love' and it makes me sick. I slunk down in my seat and I motion for the waiter to come. This place was our first official date, our engagement spot, our wedding reception and now, the setting for my broken heart and divorce.
I hate this place now.
"Happy Birthday to our favorite customer, Jake Long!"
Noise comes in all directions; I'm blessed with a large cake, balloons, and a paper dragon spewing confetti all over my suit. The owner, Mrs. Wu, appeared with a Polaroid camera and snapped a photo of my surprised face.
"A picture of the ages! My, Mr. Long, didn't we just see your wife not too long ago?"
My head hung low. There, on the cake, is a photo of me and Rose slow dancing at our wedding. There, in tacky blue frosting, are the words "Happy Birthday Jake! And Happy Anniversary to Our Favorite Couple! Five Years Going Strong!"
"Ex wife," I whisper. I smeared the frosting and blew out the candles, staring at our old wedding photo.