"I can't believe she dumped me, man."

"Bro, it's better than to have loved and lost than to, uh…"

"Stop staring at her tits, Spud."

"It's hard not to when they're in my face. They're so sparkly…"

I down my shot and gave him a surly look. We've been in this strip club for about a few hours and already I want to go home.

After the disaster on my birthday, the divorce went swiftly and quietly; Rose wanted nothing from our shared estate and she didn't even ask for half my shit. She simply grabbed her clothes and vanished without a trace. It's been a month since I'm newly divorced and so far I'm miserable. The single life is awkward; I can't remember the last time I held a decent conversation with a female without them looking at my wedding band and giving me that suspicious "you're one of those" type glances, and I'm a wrong answer away from getting the drink to the face and a pissed off girl muttering about cheating husbands before I can even tell her I'm recently divorced, or delve into the very cringeworthy "I still have feelings for my ex-wife" speech that makes the situation worse off than it was.

It's not that I'm divorced, it's that I'm still in love with Rose. She's the only woman I dated; she's literally all I knew in the world of dating. I learned quickly what works for Rose doesn't work for many other women: some like to cut to the chase, some are far too shy and subtle, some are just looking to not be bothered with male company.

Spud is a regular at Kitten; his charm and utmost respect of women earned him popularity among the strippers. I get my money's worth when I mention Spud; the girls go crazy and I'm guaranteed a hot night and a warm bed every time a girl grinds in my lap like she's struck gold. It worked for a while, but now it's starting to get boring; I really want to go home and hit the sack. Whatever hard on I had has since deflated from the strong stench of stale cigarettes and desperation.

"I'll call you later. Don't leave your wallet in the restroom again."

I patted his shoulder and dug for my keys.

I hopped in my car and drove to my apartment.

Opening the door and flicking on the switch, I'm greeted by my masochism. Mementos of Rose and I's love are still littered everywhere in my home. Our furniture, our sheets, our photos of love and happiness, remain untouched. I can't let go of her, no matter how much I tried. While she's moved on, I'm still stuck in the past. I make my way to our…the bed, running my hands over the side she used to sleep on. If I closed my eyes and smelled, I can pretend she's still here. I can hear her laughter, taste the sweat of her as we make love, smell her shampoos and conditioners as she washes her hair in the shower. These are the only things that are keeping me stable.

I lie down on my side of the bed, stroking her pillow, smelling it once more, and I exhale.

"Rose," I whisper, and I feel my tears coming. I can't cry anymore; I won't cry anymore. I just need to take my mind off it.

I pick up my phone and dial. A few rings later, she answers.

"Jakey boy, there had better be a good reason why you're calling me when I'm in the middle of packing."

As usual, she's snappy and sweet.

"Well, I just wanted to go over the details again so I know what to do and how to do it so it all goes according to plan."

I hear Trixie sigh.

"7:30 AM, flight 85, meet up, hotel, then party at your parents'. Got it?"

"Loud and clear."

"Anything else you want to talk to me about? Because you clearly didn't call me just to go over some plans I had you memorize weeks ago. What's good?"

"I, I just want someone to talk to to get my mind off of…"

"Rose. I know it's rough, but you have to roll with the punches and realize she was never good for you to begin with. She did try to kill you on numerous occasions…"

"That was in the past. I thought after all we been through, she would at least try to fight for it."

"One thing you have to respect about her is at least she'd rather be honest with you that she wasn't truly happy instead of letting both of you suffer by living a lie. You have to let her go, you're not doing yourself any favors if you keep holding on to her."

"You think I don't know that, Doctor Carter? That's the part that's hard. Five years of my life gone to waste, you know what I could've done in five years…?"

"Jake, stop. Look, when I fly in, we are going to have an awesome time of partying, hanging out with your family, and going on adventures. I don't want to hear the word 'Rose' fly out of your mouth, ever. Got it?"

I want to tell her yes, but I knew it's easier said than done.

I don't want to ruin Trixie's visit, but at the same time I'm still recovering from my divorce. It's been a month; it's too little time.

"I'll try," I grumbled into the phone. It's Trixie's day tomorrow. I can't let my negative emotions ruin it for her short time in NYC. We haven't kept in contact in so long…

I can hear her smile through the phone.

"Alright! See you at 7:30. Be sure to wake Spud's lazy ass up around 5. You know he's a late one."

Don't I know it.

"I know. I'll see you soon, Trix. Night."

"Night."

I hung up the phone and left it on the nightstand. I got to wake up and get ready in a couple of hours, but I can't sleep. I'm wide awake, depressed, and lonely. I dig into my nightstand to retrieve my wedding photo. Our smiling faces bring me comfort; I stroke her face lovingly and press my lips against the glass, pretending just for a second it was her lips. I put the photo on Rose's side of the bed and it's then, I feel better. I feel happy, calm, and at peace. As my eyes droop, I make a mental note that this isn't healthy.

I need the real thing.

As scheduled, I woke up at 5 AM, called Spud, got dressed, ate breakfast, and headed out the door to pick him up and drive to the airport. He rode in the passenger, hungover and chill, listening to indie rock while I'm trying to not lose my patience. We pull up to the airport, and we waited.

At 7:30 AM on the nose, here comes our Homegirl Trix, arms full of luggage and stacked like pancakes with extra syrup.

South Carolina has been good to her.

"Hey, y'all! It's been too long since I've seen you two!"

She hugs us both for what felt like forever; it'd been five years since we've seen each other. Five years since she left for Voorhees to pursue her medical career, five years since I'd last talked to her and told her I'm getting married, and five years since we all as a group came together to hang out.

And here we are.

"Yeah, way too long. Glad to have you here, Trix." Spud interjected, patting her shoulder and burping in response.

"Don't mind him; he spent a little too much time at Kitten with Melody,"

"Shut up, bro."

"So, how was your studies in Voorhees?"

"Pretty great. I got my degree in Biology and heading into med school for my Bachelors and eventual PhD in medicine. I'll be Trishelle Carter, MD." She boasts, tearing into a slice of pizza. We're chilling at this hole in the wall pizza joint we used to frequent as kids; it's one of the few places that hasn't changed a bit and doesn't hold any bad memories with Rose. The atmosphere feels like I can breathe; I'm with my friends, Trix finally came back, and everything can be like old times.

"Well, I went into carpentry and opened my own skateboard shop where I customize skateboards for the little dudes and dudettes." Spud answers.

"And after Gramps died, I own his shop and I still do my AmDrag thing on the side. But, Haley is starting to take my place," I add, "I think I'll eventually retire and just put my work into preserving Gramps' legacy."

"I thought Fu Dog was manning the shop when I left. What happened to him?"

"He's still there, just not as young as he used to be. He normally lays around watching his soaps, keeping his ears close to the Magic world."

That seemed like a good enough answer for her; she nods her head and grabs another slice.

"You hear about the new reggae club that opened up down the block? I heard they got a Jamaican restaurant right next to it. Authentic jerk chicken and goat curry…"

Trixie's eyes have a shine to them that I haven't seen in a while.

"You trying to go tonight? You know your homegirl learned some moves down in South Carolina, right?"

"I'll see. I'm more interested in getting my hands on some jerk."

"Whatever. After leaving your moms', we head out to that place and bust some moves. I'm dying to hear the latest dancehall."

"It's a date. Spud, you comin'?"

"Sorry, bros. I gotta work the grave-shift working on a career-making board for a millionaire's daughter. I'll catch up with you in the morning, ok?"

"Ok. Come on, Moms is cooking her famous dumplings and I'd hate to miss them. I know Haley likes to pig out on them." I grab my coat and guide Trixie to the car while Spud hops in the back. My parents' place isn't too far; it's a good 15 minute drive where Trixie gets a shock of her life watching everything change. New York is always changing; one minute you're chilling at a burger joint and the next that burger joint becomes an Indian Cuisine restaurant that smells of turmeric and masala.

That's part of why I'm fighting so hard to keep Gramps' shop open.

But I'll tell more about that at another time.

We pull up to my parents' home and I'm greeted by Mom and Haley, both have splotches of flour and dough on their faces and hands. They see Trixie and both Spud and I make way for the lady of the hour to be mercilessly hugged and kissed by them. Squealing and chatter aside, we make our way into the and close the door.

Food is set, and after Dad says prayer, we eat.

"So, how's school?" Dad begins, taking a swig of juice.

"Pretty good, Daddy. I won another award for perfect attendance and being treasurer of the Key Club," Haley answers.

"I graduated Voorhees as head of BSU and looking at another HBCU that's heavily concentrated in medicine and biology. I'm currently applying to Brown and I'm looking for another." Trixie replies.

"Sounds fantastic! What made you want to become a doctor? Don't you get squeamish from all the blood, guts, and…uh…"

"Dear, don't think about it. I know and you know you get faint around the mention of blood." Mom warns.

"Sorry, honey, I forgot. Whoo! I'm sweating like the Dickens!" Dad pats his brow with a handkerchief.

"Take a deep breath, dear."

"Trying."

After dinner, I washed the plates while Haley insisted on setting up the room for Trixie in my old bedroom. Once everything is settled in, I took Trixie to the reggae club.

I was a little apprehensive about going; it has a seductive pull and I wasn't looking for anyone to share a bed with while I'm looking after my girl. We're dancing together, the soft beat and crooning working its magic on me. I'm noticing Trixie glow under the red lights, her curves and dark skin standing out and enticing.

My hands wrap around her, sliding down to rest at her waist as we groove to the beat. I feel her hips shake and roll as she wines to the rapid beat, and let me tell you, when a girl starts wining on you, and the music and red lights set the scene for sexual activity, you're getting some thoughts. I push her away and try to dance around her, thinking about random topics to take my mind off my other head trying to make a debut after a five year stretch. For the sake of my dignity, Trix is none the wiser.

After the last song played, I took her out for some fresh air and food. The plantains and jerk tease my stomach as I dig for my wallet to pay while Trixie downs yet another water bottle, glistening with sweat and her hair sticking to her face in wisps.

"That was fun," she says, smiling. I smile back and hand her her food. We ate in silence, both unsure of what to say next. We already caught up on the basics, we both agreed to never talk about Rose while she's here, and so far sports and politics are off the table. What now?

"Great food." She begins.

"Yeah," I reply.

"Next time we should go to my Grandma's for old school soul food. I know you love the candied yams."

"You never lie."

"Remember when you tried to fry chicken for the first time, and you doused it in salt and mustard?"

"Your grandma ate it anyway, knowing it was terrible."

"Remember when we'd sit out on the steps, drinking those 90 cent soda bottles and fighting over who could skate the best?"

"And Spud broke it up by saying he was?"

"Boy, we skated so hard that day just to prove him wrong!"

"Remember when you spent a night at my house and we had to share a bed because my family came over and Spud slept in the bathroom?"

"I do remember complaining about having your foot in my face and how loudly you'd snore!"

"At least I didn't hog the covers!"

"A small price to pay for kicking me out of the bed a few times. Literally."

"It was better than bunking in with Aunt Sheryl. She had the worst gas that night! I remember we were sleeping and she let out a big one so loud, it woke both of us up!"

"I remember that! And I thought it was you and you swore up and down it wasn't!"

"I told you!"

We laughed.

"This is our first time in a long time talking like this without Spud. It feels a little weird."

"I don't see why. We've been friends since before we even met Spud."

"I guess I'm just used to us being a trio and not a duo like we used to be."

"I know. But he has his own thing and I have mine."

"Yeah."

The mood for quiet again.

"We should get going. It's getting late and I'm used to a specific sleep schedule."

"I'll stay the night. I want you to see how well I can cook breakfast food."

"You have to sleep on the couch."

"Why not my old room?"

"Two grown ass people in a tiny ass bed? We're going to break the bedframe!"

"Actually, I tested it out with a few ladies of mine and let me tell you, that frame is pretty sturdy…"

"Shut up, Jake."

After dropping her off, I made a mental note to wake up early and bring her breakfast. As I lie in my cold, lonely apartment, I hear a chirp coming from my phone. There, in cheeky font, are the words,

Don't drown the eggs in salt like last time. Love you xoxo

I smile.

Gotta love Trix.