All that glitters is not Gold

Author's note: Thanks to samcamstargate1, goldeneyegirl and Broken Bells. I wouldn't know what to do without you.

Furthermore, I've decided to place this story before the events of the real series episode "In the mean streets of San Miguel" – for the sake of this story, Ben's wife is dead and not in a coma.

Enjoy.

Chapter 5: More Than Colleagues

Pharmacy, same afternoon

Ben heard Mina's footsteps become quieter with every second, and so he turned his attention back towards Otis and their patient. "So, about Raoul … any ideas?"

Otis sighed and brushed his hand over his forehead to wipe away some sweat. His head started shaking slowly before he frowned, "He's a young man, Ben … the only explanation I've got is some kind of nerve damage, maybe a peripheral neuropathy."

Ben nodded, That's what I was thinking. "Resulting in his hypersensitivity."

Otis agreed, "Yes, but why? And how did he get it? He didn't mention any accident."

Ben shrugged, looking through the encyclopedia of his mind, trying to search for an answer. "Maybe it's not caused by a trauma … maybe it's just the side effect of a systemic illness."

"Then we'll have to wait for the results of the blood test, as well."And so, Otis turned around, heading for the box with syringes and gloves.

"Yeah, I know – and until we get those results, I'll look for a painkiller we can give him."

Otis nodded, "You do that, and I'll draw the blood." Otis turned towards the door of the pharmacy and immediately bumped into Dr. Lily Brenner, who smiled apologetically.

"Sorry, Dr. Cole," she replied and hurried into the room, completely oblivious to the fact that Ben was standing on the other side of the huge, mahogany shelf. Lily was looking for something. She needed a butterfly needle, because even the thought of pinching Miguel Vargas' little veins, with a syringe that was not made for children's blood vessels, had her hair standing on end. "Come on," she muttered as her fingers searched the boxes and containers effortlessly.

"You seem to have quite the habit of bumping into people." Ben's voice was soft, as the picture of a soaked Brenner bumping into Tommy Fuller came back to his mind.

With a jump Lily turned around, like a cat that had been surprised by a barking, territorial dog. Lily sighed and saw Ben's face through the shelf, his eyes lying on her face, waiting for her to react. "Seems like you enjoy sneaking up on people," she replied with a hint of a smile on her face, before turning around again to start looking for that butterfly needle. At the same time, she was trying to listen to every sound Dr. Keeton made. Maybe he's leaving soon, she mused and bent down to search the boxes at the bottom of the shelf. Why do you even want him to leave? she asked herself. But, Lily knew the answer right away. As much as she somehow longed for his intense looks, she didn't really know how to act in his presence anymore. Not after their 'fight', when he had decided not to tell her the truth about the woman's husband Roberto, who had died from respiratory failure, but whose blood was still needed to transfuse his son and wife. Of course, I didn't know about his own demons, then. About his feelings, and his own tragedy. Lily sighed audibly, dissatisfied with this situation, and with the fact that she couldn't find a butterfly needle. "Damn it!" So – are you planning on doing something about this situation?

Ben saw her drop to the floor, disappearing from his view, though the sounds of her ruffling and suppressed curses could still be heard. She was looking for something – and it was either the fact that she really needed this something right now, or the fact that she somehow wanted to avoid him. Little did Ben know that is was actually both. He thought that her being short with him was a sign of her changed opinion about him. Her 'I can't believe you', combined with her shocked face from that evening when they'd had their fight, was still nagging at him. And this fight had been two weeks ago now. From then on, she had reduced their talks to only professional topics, closed herself off, and avoided his gazes as much as possible, although he felt her stares sometimes – when she thought he didn't know she was looking. Ben swallowed. Her looking at him hadn't really been the same, though. Her gazes lacked the complete confidence they'd had before. Now, it was more like she was trying to figure him out, as if she was trying to search for other sides of his character that he had yet to reveal. She seemed more cautious around him. And Ben hated it. He wanted her to look at him the way she used to.

Lily turned around then, started to ruffle through the boxes in the shelf standing in the middle of the room. He's still here, she thought upon seeing his feet through the shelf. For a short moment she closed her eyes and stopped rummaging. This doesn't have to be awkward, Lily, do something about it! But she didn't know how to start. That's why she had decided to keep quiet after how would or could she even tell him that she knew what had probably made him behave the way he had? That she knew his wife and kid had died? That she understood? That she knew what it felt like to lose the one constantin your life? Lily sighed again and shook her head. He's not ready … he still isn't. And that hit Lily hard, because how long could a human being grieve for someone? Of course, she knew that everybody was different and that everybody needed to take a unique time to deal with tragedies. But with Ben giving her the advice to 'keep going' after she had told him about her fiancé's death, she had simply thought that he would be past his wife's and kid's death, as well. Far from it - he still had a hard time. And that thought suddenly frustrated her deeply, so she got up a little too fast, bumped into the shelf with her head and caused a box to fall to the floor, spilling its contents everywhere, "This can't be happening!" she exclaimed, and knelt down again.

Ben was suddenly beside her, helping her to put band aids, sterile gauze, and bandage pads back into their box. "Here, let me help you."

Lily looked up and watched his skilled hands putting the things back into their boxes. "Seems I am not only bumping into people, huh?"

Ben looked up and felt his mood rise. She had just made a joke. Ben chuckled, "So it seems," and when their eyes met, he wasn't so sure about what he had thought earlier. About the fact that her looks for him had changed. The special spark was still there, lying underneath her blue irises. It was just waiting to be spotted, and not openly showing anymore. Ben felt relieved, more than he had ever thought he would feel. "Anything you want to talk about, Brenner?"

Lily swallowed and stopped gathering the medical utensils, knowing fully well that he wasn't referring to the fight. He wouldn't. Her blue eyes bore into his, never breaking the contact.

"You seem like you're looking for something."

Lily got a grip on her thoughts, put everything back into the box and then stood up, with Ben following her motions. As she was about to put the box back into the shelf, Ben had to help her, because she couldn't reach that high. This is a chance for you to put things back to normal, Lily – use it! "Actually, I …" she cleared her throat, "I am looking for a butterfly needle. You know, the small ones for kids?" Lily took a look around and her shoulders slumped. "I've been looking into nearly every box around here, and I can't find those." She felt herself relax, now that she had finally started talking, and carefully smiled up into Ben's eyes. "But I don't want to pinch that boy with a syringe for adults, you know? His veins are smaller than the needle itself." I am afraid that they'll pop if I pinch them, Lily thought, but didn't share, and rather shrugged her shoulders, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "It's just that he's so calm and quiet. He probably wouldn't even mind if I did pinch him with a syringe," Lily sighed. "He's put up with his talkative family, with stomach cramps, high blood pressure and tachycardia; he has a high fever, his lips, nose and cheeks are burning red …" Lily shook her head in defeat. Now that she was talking about it, she really felt for the poor kid. "I worry about him." Her eyes met Ben's. "I don't like what his heart sounds like," she said.

Ben had to swallow. She was sharing something with him, again. How she felt about something. Why was he having such a hard time opening up? Letting people in? And especially with her. After all, she would be someone who could understand it. Was it because that was one of the major distinctions between women and men? Women sharing their feelings and men just staying quiet? Ben knew that it wasn't this simple. He knew that Lily soughtcomfort in others, listened for advice to help herself. He, on the other hand, couldn't. Admitting defeat would probably show him how fragile he really was, and he couldn't let that happen. All the more admirable that she doesn't have that fear, even after loosing someone. Ben observed her fair face, her enormous eyes, and felt his heart rate quicken. Maybe he could learn from her. Maybe he could observe her and see for himself how she dealt with tragedies, and overcame them. Ben drew in a deep breath and listened to what she wanted to share, before he came up with three diagnoses in his mind, all rather undesirable, "What do you think it is?" He saw her moisten her lips and her reluctance to put her diagnosis out in the open.

"Could be a neuroendocrine tumor, Kawasaki Disease or scarlet fever. I'd say it's scarlet fever, though. But we could only rule out the tumor and the Kawasaki Disease, if I could send him to an MRI, which would probably tell us more about his brain, heart, and possible aneurysms." Lily shook her head and started looking for something again, feeling suddenly restless. "You know, I just hate seeing kids being sick. I mean, there's a reason that I didn't become a pediatrician," she chuckled. "Plus, the scrubs for Peds at our hospital were salmon-coloured! Salmon!"

Ben grinned.

Lily scratched her head and readjusted her headband, before searching her pockets for a pen. "Anyway, I know that 2% of the kids around here don't even reach Miguel's age, so it's a good thing his family came here, and I shouldn't be too affected, because I am sure we can help him." And yet you are.

"But,you are," said Ben, suddenly surprised by the intensity of her blue eyes.

How does he know what I am thinking? "Yeah, yet I am." Her voice sounded a bit too dreamily, so she cleared her throat and moved on, "And that's why I have to take this kid's blood, test it for normocytic anemia, thrombocytosis, leukocytosis as well as an elevated C-protein level and antistreptolysin O titer." Lily sighed and smiled, "and then we'll work something out." Because I always do, Lily thought, and brushed her hand over her face, somehow a gesture to clear her thoughts.

Ben mirrored her smile, he simply couldn't help it, "You could use an EKG, take his electrocardiogram … and if it's still inconclusive, there is an MRI in the districts' capital, three days away by car." Ben took a closer look at the woman in front of him. This was the first time he was actually talking to her, except for the one time he had helped her get rid of those green anaconda teeth sticking out of her arm. And he liked it. Her presence calmed him. Maybe it was her voice or her eyes. He didn't know, and in fact, he didn't care either as long as it stayed this way.

Lily smiled gratefully, "Right, but I hope we won't be needing this option." It was only then that she realized how long she'd been spending time in the pharmacy. Charlie and Miguel's family were still waiting in the examination room, plus Dr. Keeton had been up to something in the pharmacy, as well. And suddenly she got restless again, apologizing for keeping him occupied, "I … I am so sorry, now I've completely stolen your time and you must have been looking for something, too."

Ben smiled softly, wrinkles forming around his eyes, "Don't worry, I'll find the morphine."

"Morphine, wait a second!" With that Lily brushed past him, crossed over to the first shelf she had been looking into and stood in front of it, "It was right here, I've seen it before."

Ben came closer and took a look at the shelf, as well.

And suddenly they both exclaimed, "There it is!" Their hands met upon touching the glass bottle.

Lily withdrew it immediately, as if she had put her hand on a red-hot plate. They had never touched before. She was sure that they had never even shaken hands to introduce themselves – and now it felt like she had been electrified. Electrified in a good way, though. Stop it, Lily, it was just a touch! His hand was warm, soft, pleasant to touch, and Lily suddenly felt her heart speeding up. How she hated the fact that one's body could betray one's mind so much. She could hear him take in deep and steady breaths. Why is he so close?

Ben's eyes lingered on hers, not being able to break the contact. It was then that he realized how close he was actually standing to her, cornering her in front of that shelf. All I would need to do, is lean in a little further … his mind told him, and he was sure his cheeks had to be giving him away. Ben carefully swallowed and quietly said, "Thank you." His eyes never left her face.

Lily was about to say something, when Zee walked back into the room, her list in hand.
Both, Ben and Lily, changed their stances, straightened up and tried to get back to normal.

"You're welcome," Lily replied, and hurried away.

Zee slightly bent her head and observed Ben standing in front of that shelf, where only minutes ago he had apparently shared a moment with Lily Brenner. Zee sighed carefully – she knew about Ben's past. With his wife and kid … and with Ryan. About how fragile this man's psyche still was, although he would never let anything on, always pretending to be on top of his game. Zee swallowed and returned to her inventory work, heard Ben moving to the door and said one last thing, as Dr. Keeton was about to exit the pharmacy, "Don't make her run away, Ben. She's a good one."

Thanks for reading!

K.

Annotation: Do you think I should let Lily and Ben share a kiss somewhere in this story? Is it too soon? Can't it be soon enough? I'd love to hear your ideas.

* Spanish translations and additional info in Chapter 5:

none in this chapter :-)