Chapter 6: Snow

December, First Year

I'd been on edge for the past month, ever since I'd visited Tony at St. Mungo's. I'd been visiting him once a week since that day, and each time I came back feeling angrier. It wasn't fair. I knew people got sick, but that was old people mostly, or people who'd at least been through Hogwarts. Tony was ten years old, he didn't even have a wand yet! And they wouldn't let owls stay in St. Mungo's so I couldn't write to him as often as I'd like, and - it just wasn't fair. Why couldn't some old Ministry official get brain-sick, not Tony?

I don't know how I'd have managed without Brittany. We hadn't spent a night apart and she followed me everywhere like she was worried I was going to burst into tears at any moment. I wish I hadn't cried in front of her. It was why I ran away from Herbology, because I couldn't take the stares and the questions without remembering Tony crying, and that made me want to cry. I hate crying - I can't stay in control and I look terrible after, and everyone thinks you're a wuss if they see you. Brittany had handled it well, though - so well that I hadn't even realised I was hugging her naked until after, and by that point it was too late for it to be awkward. It made me realise just how stupidly pathetic I was, getting embarrassed by what Puck thought. Brittany was the one who stood by me - she was the one who mattered the most.

We were sat together in the Slytherin common room with some of the other first years, in front of the fire for once. It was the last Hogsmeade weekend before Christmas, which meant most of the older Slytherins were gone for the day and we had the common room to ourselves. Puck was relating the story of how he had stolen a broomstick from his older brother's room over the summer and literally flown circles around him. It was a funny story, especially when you imagined the fifteen-year-old, dreadlocked Gabe, who was infamous within Slytherin for keeping his cool, yelling at Puck until he finally got so dizzy from spinning that he tripped over. Unfortunately for everyone else who was having a good time, Rachel Berry decided that it would be the perfect time for an impromptu concert featuring her voice only.

"The absence of some of the more critical older members of our house means this is an excellent opportunity to showcase my talent to a smaller crowd of my fellow housemates and friends-"

"No one here is your friend, Berry," I interrupted her. She carried on as if I hadn't spoken.

"-and I have picked some appropriate tunes which I believe will cater to all tastes."

"Did you not hear me? No one wants to hear you sing. Go away." I spoke louder this time. Maybe that would make her pay attention. She acted like she was so great just because she could hold a bit of a tune, but I knew I could sing way better than her if I really wanted to.

"Well Santana, while you may not wish to hear me sing I am sure others in the room-"

"No!" I interrupted her again, disentangling myself from Brittany and standing up this time. "Are you actually deaf as well as tonedeaf? Your singing sounds like a strangled toad attempting opera and no one in their right minds would voluntarily subject themselves to it! Do you get it?"

She looked taken aback by my verbal assault for only a few moments before composing herself.

"Santana, I understand that you may be a little testy at the moment because of your brother being in hospital but it really is no excuse for being rude-"

Something snapped inside of me. I didn't even hear the rest of what she said. No one spoke about my brother. It was an unspoken rule with only Brittany excepted. I marched towards her, my temper high like it never had been before. Every feeling I had been pushing down inside of me since November was bubbling straight to the surface and I shoved her back, hard.

"Listen you little toerag, you know nothing about my family! Nothing! ¿Quién te crees tú? You're going to regret this so much Manhands, you just wait, you're going to have curses flying at you every step you take if you think you can talk shit-" Flashes of Tony throwing up and crying and curled up in pain came to me all at once and I just wanted to scream. I reached for my wand intent on hurting her with more than just words, only to have my hand grabbed from behind by someone. I lashed out violently with my other fist at her but strong arms wrapped around me, holding me back as I continued to scream at the tiny girl, shouting any insult I could come up with just to make her feel as worthless as she deserved. This was Tony, she didn't get to speak about him, ever! She looked terrified and I felt a tiny amount of satisfaction beneath all the fury. "My brother is worth a hundred times what you'll ever be, and everyone knows you're not going anywhere with that voice! The more you shout and boast about it over and over again the more everyone realises you're never going to be anything but a failure!"

"Santana, calm down!" Puck shouted from behind as I kicked back to try and get free, but I barely heard him. All the angry energy that had been bottled up over the last month was unloading itself on the unsuspecting Rachel Berry, until finally she turned and fled, scrambling up the stairs to our dorm as fast as she could. The moment the focus of my rage was out of sight I calmed a little, but that energy was still coursing through me and I couldn't deal with it. I yanked myself free from Puck's hold and snatched my wand back, not daring to look at anyone as I stormed to the common room door and outside. Before I knew what was happening my fist had struck the dungeon wall with a thud, jolting pain up my wrist as I tried to keep it together. I stumbled away from the common room entrance, not knowing where I was going.

"Santana!"

Of course, it would be Brittany. Her voice was the only thing that could have stopped me finding a new victim to vent my anger onto. My feet halted but I didn't turn around. My breathing was heavy and my hands were both still curled into fists even though one was stinging like hell.

"What? You gonna tell me I was too mean? That I shouldn't make poor Rachel Berry cry?" I snapped. I was so angry I couldn't even control myself around her. I kicked at the stone wall, annoyed at myself now as well but not about to take back my words.

"I… I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Well what do you think, huh Britt?" I demanded, spinning around with my arms wide, presenting myself. "Do you think I look okay right now?" I could feel myself trembling under the intense pressure that Tony's illness was causing. Why did I have to feel all of this? It would be so much easier if I could just lock up my emotions for good so I never had to think about them.

"Don't be angry, Santana," she pleaded, looking almost as distressed as I felt but without the accompanying rage. "It's almost Christmas, and if you're not good Father Christmas won't come."

Sheer willpower was the only thing that stopped me blurting out that Father Christmas was a figment of every child's imagination. That, and how genuinely worried she sounded. I directed my anger at a different angle.

"Brittany, wake up, this is going to be the worst Christmas ever. Tony's stuck in St. Mungo's, and my parents are with him all the time or working."

"No, no! You can't have a worst Christmas, that's like a parallel!"

"…Paradox?" I questioned after a moment's thought. Her mere presence was calming and I could feel the anger slipping away as we spoke.

"Exactly! I won't let it happen, Santana. I promise this Christmas won't be the worst. Look, I pinky promise!" she told me, reaching out for my little finger with her own. "It's like on that TV show. Now it has to come true, see?"

I stared dully at our linked fingers, the fight gone out of me in response to Brittany's sheer optimism. Who was I to deny her this? She'd promised she'd be there for me, and here she was.

"Fine. Okay? Fine," I agreed quietly. "Come on, let's go to the elf kitchen. At least they have the decency not to burst into song…"

She nodded eagerly, obviously just happy that I wasn't yelling any more, and followed quietly as I led the way to the fruit portrait.

I woke up to the very strange sensation of something cold and wet landing on the side of my nose. I brushed at it lazily, burying my head further into the pillow, but then it happened again on my cheek. I grumbled without words, and by the third time it happened in my ear I was wide awake.

"What the hell-" I began, sitting up in bed, only to go still at the sight that greeted me. Brittany was perched on the end of her bed - she'd thought it best I not sleep in the same room as Berry last night - with her wand out, grinning from ear to ear. And all around me, tiny snowflakes were falling. They landed on my skin and were cold for only a moment before dissolving into silver glitter which completely covered the bed by this point. "Brittany… what are you doing…?" I asked slowly, a smile fighting its way onto my face at the sight of her looking so proud of herself.

"I'm making your Christmas, remember? Melanie taught me how to do this when you were asleep last night, and we have the whole day for Christmasy things," Brittany told me happily, finally ending the snowfall with a flick of her wand. "So come on, get out of bed! I already let you have a lie-in!"

I glanced at the clock on the side of her bed. "Britt, half past eight on a Sunday is not a lie-in," I informed her, but obediently climbed out of bed and began getting dressed. She was watching me and I knew it was just her being impatient to get started, but I still moved a little to block her view. When I was done, I turned to find her holding out my coat and gloves which she had somehow managed to get from my dorm room.

"You're going to need these."

I added the layers to my outfit and then she was dragging me out of the room, looping her Slytherin scarf around both our necks just like she had at the quidditch match.

"So what's the plan, Sherlock?" I asked with a grin. It was another of those ridiculous muggle films or TV shows or whatever that she had made me watch, but I knew she loved it when I mentioned them. And I had to say, Sherlock Holmes was a way better character than Sleeping Beauty or any of those other dumb princesses.

"Today on the menu we have snow angels, snowball fights, hot chocolate, Christmas carols and broomstick races - but I'm not letting you win just because it's Christmas."

"You won't need to let me win," I argued back, slipping into the familiar banter as we descended into the Hufflepuff common room.

"Going to play in the snow, Brittany?" asked one of the other first years with a smile, the boy with glasses and magical-mechnical legs. Artie, I thought his name was. I didn't know what he was doing talking to Brittany - we were at the top of the first year social ladder, and he was right down at the bottom with Berry. Seeing Brittany open her mouth to reply I cut in before she could encourage him anymore.

"Is that any of your business, Four Eyes?"

He looked alarmed at being addressed by me. Normally in the Hufflepuff common room I avoided talking to or even looking at the many losers that inhabited this house. I still didn't understand how Brittany was ever put with these people.

"Um… no, I… I guess not. I just thought I'd a-ask, to be… friendly…?" His stutters trailed off into a nervous silence as I glared at him fiercely. I tugged on Brittany's arm to pull her away from him and towards the exit. She followed reluctantly, but as soon as we were outside the common room she spoke her thoughts.

"Why were you mean to Artie, Santana? He's my friend…"

"Your friend? He's a loser, Britt. You can get better friends than that. Anyway, you've got me - what do you need him for?" I asked.

"You have Puck," she replied quietly. I'd forgotten she never understood the concept of rhetorical questions. I stopped, and turned to look at her. She looked almost embarrassed at speaking back to me. It wasn't something she did often.

"Puck's not a loser. And he's your friend too," I assured her.

"Not really. He wouldn't let me hang around with him if it wasn't for you."

I stared at her. She stared at the ground, shifting her feet like she always did when she was either excited or nervous.

"Look, I'm not saying you can't have other friends than me, Britt. Of course you can. But you can have better friends than that Artie kid." She didn't reply, and I hoped I hadn't screwed up too badly. "I'm sorry Britt, okay? Can we just go do all the Christmasy things you planned and forget about this?"

She perked up suddenly, as if she'd forgotten all about her plans for making sure I had a good Christmas. There was something akin to panic in her eyes, like she'd only just realised she was arguing with me.

"Oh! Yes! I'm sorry, okay, let's do that," she agreed. "It's your special day, I'm sorry for arguing. Come on, before the snow all melts!"

And with that her enthusiasm and energy was back, the argument was forgotten and she was pulling me into a run down the corridor and towards one of the side doors that led to the grounds.

The normally green fields and forest looked as if they had been whitewashed overnight. It was everywhere. Brittany's feet were bouncing up and down in the snow just next to the door, pushing it about and flicking it up so it covered our shoes. It was light and powdery, and when I reached down to try and form a snowball it crumbled as soon as I released the pressure.

"Not sure we're gonna be able to do a snowball fi-ahh!"

My eyes were wide as I looked up at Brittany. Her hands were still hovering above my head and she was giggling uncontrollably as I shook my head to rid it of the pile of snow she had literally just scooped onto me.

"You were saying?" She said it so innocently, except for the fact that she started laughing again as soon as she stopped talking.

I bent and scooped up an armful of snow in one movement, flinging it up towards her. She squealed and set off running away from the castle.

"I'm gonna get you, Brittany Pierce! Think you can sneak up a snowball fight on me, huh?" I shouted with a grin, chasing her in the direction of the Forbidden Forest. She was way ahead of me within seconds, the long legs I admired so much carrying her much faster than I could run.

Hours later we were still outside, zooming around the Hogwarts grounds on broomsticks I had helped Brittany "borrow" from Professor Beiste's office cupboard. We couldn't actually go on the pitch because the Ravenclaw quidditch team were practicing there, but we made do by flying circles around each other and any other student who happened to come near enough. Brittany beat me every time we raced as usual, and as much as it grated that I still couldn't beat her I couldn't deny her the happiness that came with winning. She'd found a frozen apple buried beneath the snow and we were throwing it for each other to hone our seeker skills. Brittany was better at it than I was which wasn't too surprising since she always beats me in the races, but it wasn't just that - she was so extraordinarily graceful on her broom, just like when she danced, and even the slightest movement sent her wherever she needed to be. It was like she was dancing on a broom the way she moved, and I've never said no to watching her dance.

I picked up the apple from where I'd dropped it on the floor while fumbling for it mid-air, and threw it in the direction of the castle for her. She zoomed after it, spinning in the air like she was born on a broom and catching it with ease only inches above the ground. The sound of clapping caught my attention and I turned to see Professor Beiste behind me, smiling widely. Brittany landed next to me and grinned at our flying teacher.

"Hi Professor! Isn't this snow brilliant?" she exclaimed, absentmindedly juggling the apple.

"Well it's definitely good for softening Rachel's landing every time she falls off her broom," Professor Beiste replied with a broad grin. She liked us a lot more now we'd stopped having races in her lessons. "Keep flying like that and I might just forget that I've seen those brooms outside my office," she added, starting to walk back towards the castle. "You'll be on the house team in no time Brittany - and you too, Santana, if you practice a bit more."

Brittany grabbed my arm and squeezed tightly, spinning around to look at me with her face alight.

"Did you hear that? She thinks we can make the house team!"

"Of course you can make the house team Britt, you're the best flyer in our year." Well, maybe that Mike kid was pretty good too, but Brittany was easily better than him.

"Not just me, you too! She said so! It's happening just like you said Santana." She was hanging onto my arm still, her face so close to mine and so happy that I had to smile back at her, even though I could feel that awkwardness coming back. Don't be stupid, Santana. It's just Brittany. She shivered, and I purposely wrapped my arms around her in an attempt to shout back at those feelings that I wasn't going to pay attention.

"Let's go inside, Britt, you're cold and it's getting dark anyway."

"Really? Are you sure? I don't mind being cold, this is your day, you're supposed to be having fun-"

"I am having fun Britt. This has been amazing, I swear. But seeing you cold makes it less fun, so let's go inside yeah?"

She looked reluctant, as if she was worried she hadn't made today special enough already. She didn't have to worry though - it was the best day I'd had in months. I didn't feel angry inside, I didn't feel like every pent up emotion was about to explode out at any moment. I felt happy. I looped my arm through hers and tugged her towards the castle, a smile on my face. She smiled back, finally seeming to realise that she didn't need to worry about me not having enough fun.

"Okay, well, we're not done yet."

"We're not?" I asked in surprise. "What else have you planned?"

"I got the house elves to take some hot chocolate and pizza to the Prefects' Bathroom and make sure there was a hot bath for us so we don't have to wait while it runs and we can warm up straight away."

I felt like my cheeks might crack from smiling so wide. She'd put so much thought into this, just for me, with barely a few hours' notice. "You're amazing, Britt."

The Prefects' Bathroom was prepared just as Brittany had described, with the addition of Christmas decorations everywhere. Purple tinsel curled around the outside of the tub and baubles hung from each of the taps. The bath had even been run with only red and green bubbles, and a cinnamon smell rose from the water when I approached.

"Do you like it?" Brittany murmured. She was biting her lip in that adorable way she did when she was uncertain.

"I love it, Britt. It's great."

She grinned, turning away to check on the food and I took the opportunity to undress quickly and slip in the water while she wasn't looking. It was deliciously warm after so much time outside in the snow. I set out to swim a lap of the pool, planning to give Brittany time to get in without the opportunity for it to get awkward for me, but when I turned to swim back I saw her climbing in. I couldn't rip my eyes away, even though my brain was screaming at me that I shouldn't be looking. Her skin was so smooth and perfect, and those legs… She turned to face me and I dived beneath the water, my face heating up at being caught staring. I swam underwater back to her, keeping my eyes closed until I pushed upwards again to come up next to her. She was smiling, acting as if she hadn't just caught me perving on her.

"Pizza?" she offered, pointing to the plate she'd brought to the side of the pool. "They made it waterproof, it's so cool!"

I grabbed a slice, settling against the side of the bath as I ate it.

"Thank you, Brittany," I said quietly once I'd finished and as she was reaching over my shoulder for another slice. She paused, turning to me, her face so close to mine. She leaned in and kissed me softly on the cheek. For a moment I felt the fluttering of a thousand butterflies in my stomach, but then she was moving back and they were gone.

"Anything for you," she replied, as serious as I had ever heard her.

Spanish: ¿Quién te crees tú? - Who do you think you are?