Tato Potato, in some ways, I do want to tell you, but I think there would be complaints if I did! I think you could be right about Ethan - he's certainly struggling to cope now. Thank you for your review - I'm so glad you're enjoying it.
Penelope salt, thank you very much - that's a big compliment! I think you'll find about Cal tomorrow. I can't really write anything from his point of view unless he's alive and conscious and he might not be either! Thank you for your review.
Tanith Panic, I didn't think you'd forgive me if I killed Lofty! Dylan will need help so I probably shouldn't kill his therapist either. But there are plenty of other people I can kill instead! Thank you for your review - I hope you keep enjoying it.
beckyboogle, sorry for teasing, but I just can't tell you! Thank you so much for your review. No-one dies in this chapter, but I wouldn't stop worrying quite yet...
ETWentHome, thank you so much for your kind words. I love how Dylan's problems ended up fitting in so well with a Holby City story - thank you to the writers for that! Thank you for your review and I hope you enjoy this chapter too!
Georgy-Girl, I know, poor Dylan has no reason to blame himself for any of this, but there is so much in the story that plays on his insecurities. Thank you for your review.
Max opened his eyes. He was lying on his back, looking upwards at what he thought should have been the ceiling. His breath came shallowly and there was pain in his chest; his arms… everywhere.
He tried to remember where he was. He felt very cold and his shoulders appeared to be bare, but he couldn't see anything below his chest as something large was resting on it, pressing into him and hindering his efforts to breathe. He tried to sit up; tried to push at it with the arms trapped beneath it, but it didn't move.
Where was he? What was he doing here? Why was he naked?
When remembered, terror filled him. He turned his head from side to side, looking for Zoe, but all he could see was chaos. Zoe's overturned desk with files and papers scattered. Two filing cabinets had also toppled. And everywhere there was white plaster: some in little flakes, looking almost like snow; some attached to large, misshapen lumps of wood, including the one sitting on Max's chest.
"Zoe?" Max croaked out as he looked from side to side again. Spots were starting to dance between his eyes and he knew he was about to lose consciousness, but he fought it desperately as he looked for some sigh of the woman he loved. His wife. "Zoe!"
He both wanted to see has and didn't want to. If he saw her, at least he would know where she was. If he didn't see her, that might mean she was safe; that she had escaped before the ceiling came down and trapped her. But if he didn't see her, it could mean she was trapped under the debris as he was, perhaps seriously injured.
If only he'd got her out sooner. If only he hadn't let his stupid animal lust take control.
Then he saw it poking out from under one of the filing cabinets.
A £400 high-heeled shoe.
Lofty rubbed Dylan's back and listened to his frightened breathing. The fact Dylan was letting Lofty touch him at all showed how deeply affected he was. "It's all right, Dylan," he said. "You're all right. You're safe."
"What?" said Dylan, looking first outraged and then terrified.
"Everything's going to be all right, Dylan."
"How do you know?" Dylan's voice was harsh. "What do you know about anything? Have you even read a checklist in your life?"
"Quite often, actually," said Lofty. "I'm quite good at forgetting things so it's good to remind myself sometimes."
Dylan didn't seem to be listening. "I knew." His voice had dropped to a shaky whisper. "I knew something bad would happen. I knew."
Lofty felt completely out of his depth. He wasn't qualified to deal with this. But the one thing he knew for certain was that he wasn't going to give up. He never gave up on his mates. "Dylan, none of this is your fault."
"But it's happened twice now," said Dylan. "My home. My workplace. It can't be a coincidence."
"It's a coincidence," said Lofty. "They do happen. And if you're looking for a common denominator thingy, there were loads of us at the wedding who are here today. Me, Zoe, Max, Ethan... But it isn't our fault. We didn't force some guy to get hold of a bomb and take a few people hostage. Even if we do push someone over the edge, it's not always our fault because we're not the ones who put them on the edge in the first place. It's not your fault, Dylan. You mustn't blame yourself."
"So, where is everyone?" said Connie briskly as Ethan bandaged her ankle. "Lily's been here all the time; you, Dylan, Lofty, Rita and I got out safely. What about Zoe and Max?"
"I don't know," said Ethan. He didn't think they'd come out, but it was difficult for him to think of anything but Cal. He could focus on doing his job, but any other question left him floundering.
"You didn't see anything of them when you were in there?"
Ethan shook his head, lowering his eyes in an effort to hide his guilt. He didn't know what to do. Lily clearly thought that telling Connie the truth was a bad idea, but his feelings were mixed. He didn't like hiding the truth from his clinical lead, but he also knew she was a lot more stressed and upset than she was pretending. He'd seen her catch her lip between her teeth and once or twice heard a tremor in her voice. The last thing she needed was for Ethan to give her something else to worry about.
Just keep quiet, do your job, and don't fall apart.
"Well, all we can do is wait for news," said Connie. She touched his arm. "And not give up hope."
Ethan nodded, blinking back tears.
Connie kept hold of his arm and gave him a moment before continuing. "Now, I've seen Robyn, Louise and Lofty." Her lips tightened momentarily. "And Sister Freeman, of course. Where's…" She stopped, her eyes widening briefly with fear, though she quickly hide the emotion. "Where's Charlie? Did he get out of the hospital safely?"
Ethan secured the bandage, trying to hide his distress. With everything that had happened, he hadn't anticipated that Connie might ask after Charlie. "I'm sorry, Mrs Beauchamp. He had another heart attack and then his heart stopped. Jacob, Dixie and Iain were trying to restart it when we heard the explosions."
He saw Connie's head drop, her hands covering her face and her hair swinging forward to provide a further screen. "Oh God. Oh, Charlie. Why wasn't he taken straight to St James'?"
"I don't know," admitted Ethan. There was so much he didn't know because he hadn't been where he was supposed to be. "Lily wanted him to go to St James' after the heart attack, but there was a problem with the ambulance and they were waiting for another one."
"Right: if you've finished treating me, I'd like to see him," said Connie.
Ethan opened his mouth to tell Connie that it would be inadvisable to put any weight on her foot and that he had no access to crutches at present. But he knew that would be a waste of breath. "All right: I'll take you there now." He didn't want to be so far from Cal, but he knew there was nothing he could do for him till he was out of the building. Connie, probably the best doctor he'd ever worked with, might be able to help Charlie. He helped Connie up and offered her his arm.
"Thank you," said Connie, with more gratitude than he'd ever heard from her.
"My pleasure," said Ethan politely. Then he cringed at the inappropriateness of his words. "I mean… I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"
"It's all right, Dr… it's all right, Ethan," said Connie gently. "I know exactly what you meant."
"Do you remember what happened?" asked Lily as she examined the wound on Rita's head.
"Connie pushed me," said Rita, her words slurring.
Lily frowned, both at the sound of Rita's voice and the words themselves. "I hardly think that's likely."
"No… she… pushed me," said Rita.
"Okay," said Lily. She would deal with that side of things later. "Are you taking any anti-coagulants?"
Rita stared at her blankly.
"Medications to prevent clotting of the blood," said Lily, frowning. Surely Rita knew that.
"Medications…" said Rita. "Medications… No."
"And how are you feeling?" said Lily. She already had more than enough information to tell her that Rita needed urgent hospital treatment – and that the hospital car park wasn't good enough - but she wanted to get as full a picture as she could and to keep Rita talking. "You say you have a headache and double vision… do you feel nauseous at all?"
Rita stared out in front of her, an odd expression on her face, though perhaps that was partly due to the discrepancy in pupil size.
"Look at me!" commanded Lily.
No response. She shook Rita's shoulder and saw her eyes move in response, but still she said nothing.
"I'm just going to check your breathing and pulse," said Lily. Once this was done - neither giving her any added concern - her eyes left Rita briefly to look around the car park: almost immediately, she saw what she was looking for. "Mac, can you please bring me that trolley?"
Big Mac went to the trolley at once and started to wheel it over. Nearby, Lofty said a few quiet words to Dylan and came to help.
"Help me get Rita onto the trolley," said Lily. "Thank you." She looked around again. "Noel, can you please call an ambulance? I'm not sure we have one available. Tell them we have a woman in her 30s with a suspected severe head injury following a fall. Please walk with us and relay any other questions to me."
Noel nodded and fell into step beside them, already speaking to the emergency services.
Lily looked down at Rita's pale face. "Rita, can you hear me? Look at me, please."
Lily hated this. She was a doctor. She knew what was wrong and she knew what to do, but she couldn't do it. Without monitors and equipment, she was powerless. Rita's level of response was deteriorating and Lily could do nothing. Charlie could be still fighting for his life in the car park: there had been so little Lily could do. Max, Zoe and Cal were still inside the building and Lily was sure she would know how to help them too - but even once they were out, Lily could do little other than make them as comfortable as possible without making their injuries worse.
Her friends could be dying around her, but all she could do was stand by helplessly and hope.