This chapter jumps around a little in terms of POV, but I felt it was important to get both Brittany and Santana's perspectives.

Chapter 9: Valentines

February, First Year

"Richie Bitch, get out of my face before I hex you so you look even more like a pig-tailed gnome than you already do," Santana snapped. Sugar moved back quickly, turning to lean over the other side of the table for the fruit she had been reaching for, and I sighed.

Ever since Santana had broken her silence when Karofsky had knocked me off my broom, she'd been different. I still loved every bit of her and wouldn't give her up for anything, but it was strange getting used to this new Santana. She hardly ever smiled anymore. She'd talk about people behind their backs and call them names to their face worse than she ever used to - especially people like Rachel and Artie, as much as I tried to explain that he wasn't as bad as she thought. She had this new way of looking at people that made them hurry out of her way, and the first time I was on my own after being in the Hospital Wing some second year Ravenclaws came over to ask if it was true that she'd hexed Karofsky until he cried.

It wasn't only that, though. When she wasn't insulting people, she was just focusing on me. Which didn't really sound like a bad thing, but it wasn't a nice focus. At first she was making sure I was okay after Karofsky accidentally sent that bludger at me, which I thought was silly anyway because Madam Pillsbury fixed me with just a few spells. But even once I'd convinced her that I really was fine, she still kept trying to protect me. If anyone said something to me she didn't like, they'd either get yelled at or hexed, and quite often both. She'd already had detention three times in the past fortnight even though the teachers were trying to be understanding. I kind of got why they had to give her detention even when she was hurting. She did put Finn, Azimio and Jacob in the Hospital Wing in the space of four days. I wished she wouldn't, but whenever I tried to tell her they weren't really saying anything bad she wouldn't listen. I didn't mind her looking after me, but I didn't want her hurting people because of me!

And she still wouldn't talk about why she was being weird whenever we got changed or I got too close. It was just really frustrating, and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to help her feel better, but she was acting as if nothing was wrong at all. Sometimes I could feel tears on her cheeks at night, but she'd never talk about it in the morning.

"You're lost, Puck," Santana stated flatly, narrowing her eyes as he slipped down next to her on the Hufflepuff table. At least he hadn't tried to sit between me and her - that would have made her really mad. That was how Finn had ended up with his face so sunburnt he'd cried.

"Just thought I'd come see you and my favourite Hufflepuff," Puck replied with a wide smile, wiggling his eyebrows at me. I smiled back and she relaxed a little – even though he was kind of annoying sometimes, occasionally he'd know exactly the right thing to say.

"Well you'd better start eating soon or Finnocence over there will only leave you the table cloth to chew," she replied dryly. Across the table, Finn went red and quickly lowered his bacon sandwich to his plate. It was his third in ten minutes - I didn't understand how he could eat so much. Puck grinned, spearing a couple of sausages with his fork and pushing them onto his plate.

"So, Santana, I was thinking. You, me, Hogsmeade, Tuesday. Whatcha think?"

She went stiff. I looked across at her and saw she looked like she wanted to be excited, but was too surprised. Then I noticed several other people around us listening in and I remembered - Tuesday was Valentine's Day. Santana and I always spent Valentine's Day together; she said I was more fun than some stupid boy. I was planning on doing something special to try and cheer her up, so I'd asked Becky to order all of Santana's favourite sweets from her uncle at Honeydukes and they'd arrived yesterday. I figured we could go to the prefects' bathroom or the Room of Requirement after classes finished for the day and spend all evening there. I was even going to get her flowers, because flowers always seem to make people happy.

"Sounds cool. What time?" She was acting like it was no big deal.

"Wait, but - you can't go to Hogsmeade. It's not a Hogsmeade weekend, and you're not old enough anyway," I pointed out.

"Puck has his ways," he replied, winking. I was going to say something else, but then I saw Santana's face. She actually looked happy. I bit my lip, then I bit into my toast instead because it was starting to hurt biting my lip so hard.

"That's okay right, Britt?" she asked, elbowing me lightly. "We can hang out any time."

She was saying please with her eyes, so I nodded. I wanted her to be happier, and this was going to do that. Even though I had been thinking of ideas of what to do all weekend… She smiled though, and I tried to reassure myself. She's right, we can hang out any time. I should be happy for her. I will be happy for her.

I was panicking. Majorly panicking.

What if he didn't like me and this was all just a joke to humiliate me? What if he liked me too much and tried to do something? What if it was really awkward and neither of us knew what to say? What if-

"Santana, stop worrying!" Brittany interrupted my thoughts, her hands placed heavily on my shoulders and spinning me so she could gaze solemnly into my eyes, grounding me a little. "You don't have to worry. You're amazing – Puck's going to be wrapped around your thumb by the end of tonight."

"Wrapped around my little finger," I corrected. Brittany's words, so typically her, calmed me further and I managed a small smile for her. She grinned back at me, apparently feeling all the excitement that I should be feeling. It was my first date, after all. She'd seemed upset at first, but now she was helping me get ready like it was the best thing in the world. And Valentine's Day was supposed to be for boys and girls, after all, not friends, so I really should spend it with Puck and not feel guilty about leaving Brittany behind. We didn't have anything planned anyway. I looked down at what I was wearing again - a dark green dress with leather boots and the silver necklace Brittany had bought me last year for my birthday.

"You look great, Santana," she reassured me, and I sat heavily on the bed, flopping down onto my back after checking the clock. There were still twenty minutes until I had to meet Puck in the common room. She laid down next to me, turning to look at me and reaching out a hand to gently brush the hair out of my face. "Careful you don't mess your hair up, it looks so pretty right now."

I instinctively turned my head away from her and I heard her sigh, drawing her hand back.

"I wish you'd talk to me, Santana," she whispered. "You don't tell me your secrets anymore."

I hastily turned to look at her and saw she was staring up at the green canopy of my bed, the corners of her lips turned down. I couldn't leave her like that. I took a risk.

"I'm scared Puck'll kiss me," I whispered back, getting the words out fast so I couldn't lose my nerve halfway through. She turned to face me, surprised. The thought had been in the back of my mind ever since he'd asked me at breakfast a few days ago. I'd never kissed anyone before. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to. What if I messed up?

"Why?"

"Well… y'know. It'll be my first kiss. What if I'm bad at it?"

"You'll be fine, Santana. I think kissing is meant to be just like talking, but with your tongues super close. And you're great at talking when you're not yelling at people."

I nodded, staring up at the canopy, but I was still worried. Growing up was frustrating, everything suddenly got so complicated. "What if he tells everyone I'm a bad kisser? No one will ever want to kiss me again," I said, turning my head to look at her once more as my mind summoned worse and worse scenarios. She was hesitating. She wanted to say something, but she was nervous for some reason. "What is it?"

"I mean… I… I could help you practice. And I'll find out if you're a bad kisser or not, and if you need more practice I can just tell you and you don't kiss Puck tonight. You make some excuse about toothache or gum disease or something."

It was a ridiculous idea. But suddenly I was weighing up the two options of kissing Brittany or facing rumours that I was a bad kisser for the rest of my time at Hogwarts. As horrible as the latter sounded, the thought of kissing Brittany was terrifying. But I was drawn to it, and I couldn't make myself back away.

"It's just you and me. It doesn't mean anything, it's just practice." For a moment I wondered if she was trying to convince me or herself, but I shook that thought away.

I realised I was nodding and the worry I was feeling before suddenly became a hundredfold worse when Brittany smiled shyly in response. My eyes flicked down to her lips. They were light pink, and thinner than mine, but I knew that already. What was I doing? Why was I agreeing to this? I felt awkward with her just being too close, it would be so much more awkward than any time before if I kissed her.

She shuffled closer across my satin duvet but I couldn't move. Half of me wanted to lean in nearer as well, but the other half wanted to run from the room and pretend this had never been mentioned. So I stayed still, stuck in place and my eyes on her lips as the familiar awkwardness grew inside me. This was a bad idea. This was an even worse idea than her deciding to climb the tree outside my window at Christmas, forgetting she was scared of heights.

Then her lips were on mine and suddenly the awkwardness mutated into a pleasant buzz. We stayed like that for a moment, just our lips touching lightly and nothing else. Then slowly, tentatively I moved my lips against hers like I'd seen people do in her films. She kissed back just as gently and I marvelled at how soft her lips were. She pulled back after only a few seconds of that and I felt almost disappointed, then I had to remind myself that this was just practice for my proper first kiss later. And I didn't really feel nervous about kissing Puck now. After all, if kissing Brittany felt this good then kissing a boy must be amazing. She grinned at me, her cheeks glowing.

"You don't need any practice," she assured me quietly. She leaned in once more and I almost did as well to meet her in the middle this time, but then she just kissed my cheek before pulling away. The awkwardness I normally felt was gone like it had never existed. I just wanted to kiss her again and feel her lips on mine, but a familiar irritating voice floated nearer and became much louder as the dorm door opened.

"-you see the vibrato on the cellos really brings out the singer's contrasting voice-"

Berry and another of the girls who I shared the dorm with walked in. I think her name was Sarah. I didn't really know or care, she barely spoke.

"Get out." Berry was not going to ruin this. She looked alarmed and stopped in the doorway.

"Santana, I just need-"

I grabbed my wand from the table next to my bed.

"Now, hobbit, before I do something you'll regret!" She turned and left, the other girl closely following after taking once glance at me. I lay back down on my bed with relief, half-wondering if it would be weird to suggest a second practice kiss to make sure, only to find Brittany looking at me with a reproachful gaze. "What?"

"You know what."

"Britt, I'm like this so no one is going to challenge us. We're at the top of our year and we're going to be the top of the school. I can't have anyone think they can hit a bludger at you and get away with it," I argued. I was pretty sure by now there wasn't any lasting damage from Karofsky's moment of idiocy, but I still had to look out for her like I'd promised myself I would in the Hospital Wing.

"Santana, it was an accident! You can't hex someone every time they don't include me in a conversation or bump into me in the hallway!" she replied, looking genuinely exasperated. Why did Berry have to come in here and ruin it all? We were having a great time before she arrived.

"I've got to look after you-"

"No!" she burst out, her voice pleading. I was shocked. I didn't think she'd ever spoken to me like that before. I sat up, swivelling to look at her with wide eyes and waiting for an explanation. I was just trying to do what was best for both of us, surely she knew that? She sat up as well and reached for one of my hands, holding it securely in both of hers in her lap as she spoke calmly.

"Santana. You can't keep me in a bubble, and I don't want you to keep hexing people like you have been these last few weeks. You've made your point, and I get you want to look after me. But I'm a lot stronger than you think I am, and I don't like you hurting people! I don't want a bodyguard, I want my best friend. I need my best friend back, please."

She was so serious, staring at me with those big blue eyes. I hadn't even realised how much she must have disliked me hexing so many people, but when I thought about it, it was obvious that she'd hate it. She'd always hated violence, even if it was just pretend on TV. I'd been so wrapped up in trying to protect her from other people that I'd forgotten to check up on her. She was right. I wasn't being her best friend, and the guilt I'd been trying to ignore since accepting Puck's offer of a date suddenly overcame me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I didn't even need to say any more than that - she leaned in and hugged me tight, releasing my hand. I hugged her back just as tightly, revelling in the contact. It had been so long since I had been able to be so close to her and not feel any of that awkwardness. It was like our kiss had cleared the air. "Do I really not need any practice?" I murmured into her shoulder. She pulled back with a giggle, and for the first time in so long everything between us felt normal. Like it was before Tony got ill, before I started feeling strange around her.

"You're the best kisser I've ever kissed," she replied with a grin. "Now come on or you're going to be late for Puck!"

It was dark as I walked down the corridor to the Hufflepuff common room, whispering the password and slipping in through the door. Apart from a couple of sixth years studying by the fire it was empty, and they ignored me anyway - they were used to the Slytherin in their mix by now.

I made my way to Brittany's dorm quietly and tiptoed across the room. I felt like I should be ecstatic about all that had happened tonight. Puck had actually put thought into our date and booked a table at this tiny restaurant in Hogsmeade. It had been so easy talking with him all evening, but at the end of the night when he'd kissed me in the secret tunnel we'd used to leave the castle I couldn't help comparing it to my earlier kiss with Brittany. Yeah, it was okay, but I hadn't felt anything. It didn't make me all warm inside.

I knew that right now he'd be exaggerating everything to Azimio and Karofsky and anyone else who'd listen, but I didn't really care about that. Knowing he'd talk about it was why I'd agreed to go out with him to start with - being scary wasn't enough to be popular, I had to have boys hanging onto my every word as well. Most of the other first years didn't realise this yet, but I'd been watching the older popular girls and I could see how they worked, and I knew I would have to be like them. The earlier I started, the easier it would be to cement mine and Britt's place at the top of the social pyramid. And since Brittany didn't like me hexing everyone, I'd have to be doubly good at the boys part of being popular.

I quickly changed into the spare pair of pyjamas I kept under Brittany's bed, noticing multiple familiar sweet wrappers scattered nearby as I slipped under the covers to join her.

"Been eating my favourite sweets without me?" I whispered in her ear with a grin. She stirred, blinking sleepily up at me.

"I was going to keep them for you but I got hungry and you weren't here," she mumbled, pulling me into her with a lazy arm. I snuggled in, resting my head next to hers so that when I whispered there was no chance of anyone else hearing.

"You're a better kisser than he is." My lips barely moved at the admission but I knew she'd heard me because I saw her smile.

"Maybe I should give him some practice," she commented.

"No!" I was surprised at how much I disliked the idea, and I wasn't sure if it was the idea of sharing Puck or sharing Brittany that had me so upset. "No, you… you should find some other boy. Maybe Mike, you like him right? We could go on double dates," I suggested. Now I'd had the idea, it sounded very appealing. I could date Puck and spend time with Brittany as well, without having to choose between them. She didn't reply, so I leaned in to press a tiny kiss to the corner of her mouth. Miraculously the awkwardness remained hidden away, and instead I got that warm feeling that I hadn't felt when kissing Puck. "Only if you want to, Britt. But you could get anyone you wanted."

"Anyone?" she repeated. It felt like she was asking something more than what it sounded, but I wasn't sure what so I just answered like it was a normal question.

"Of course. Any boy would be lucky to have you. Just watch, they'll be tripping over their feet for you soon enough."

I was feeling a bit sick from all the sweets I'd eaten last night, but Santana helped me out of bed when my alarm went off and rubbed my tummy until it felt better. She seemed excited to go down to breakfast so I tried to hurry as much as I could as she explained in detail everything that had happened last night. The other girls in my dorm were listening as well, but she didn't seem to care - in fact, it seemed like she was speaking loudly on purpose so they had no choice but to hear. She didn't even yell at Sugar when she asked a question.

I acted as happy for her as I could, but I was confused and the pain in my tummy was making it harder to think than usual. I'd finally got through to her about how she was acting and she'd said sorry, and she'd actually agreed to kiss me. I was planning on pretending it was a joke if she said no so she wouldn't get weird, but then she'd nodded so I'd done it. And it felt really nice. But then she'd gone off with Puck and I'd eaten all the sweets I ordered for her on my own in my dorm and got a tummy ache. She'd come in and said I was a better kisser than Puck so I thought she wouldn't be kissing him again, but now she wouldn't stop going on about him! It was all so confusing.

I headed towards the Hufflepuff table as usual when we entered the Great Hall but she grabbed my arm gently.

"Not today," she murmured, pulling me towards the Slytherins instead. They greeted her jovially, and barely five minutes had passed before the conversation turned to her date with Puck last night. Karofsky knocked into me as he sat, but to my relief Santana didn't do anything apart from send him a quick glare. She was distracted by Puck, who had wound his arm around her waist. I could see his fingers digging into her side possessively. Was I really losing Santana to Puck?

I suddenly remembered what she'd said last night about me finding a boy. She hadn't understood my question properly of course, so I still didn't know what the answer was. Could I have Santana like she had Puck? Because if I really could have anyone, she was who I'd choose. I repressed a sigh when I saw him lean in to kiss her and wolf whistles surrounded us, my tummy beginning to cramp again.

No, I couldn't have her, not now. But if I found a boy and we could all go out together then at least I wouldn't have lost her completely to this new world of kissing and dating. Maybe I could find someone who could teach me more about kissing, and then I could teach that to Santana. My eyes wandered and I noticed Mike at the Ravenclaw table, laughing with Quinn and Matt. He was nice, I guess. He could fly and play quidditch really well. And if I couldn't have Santana, then he would have to do.

End of Part One

And there is the end of their time that I will be writing in 1st year. I'll be doing one chapter next of them in 3rd year, then it's onto Part 2 which starts in March of their 5th year.