ETWentHome, I do feel a bit mean, but this is Casualty... it would be wrong to have too many healthy people! I'm afraid there is no Cal or Ethan in this chapter (most unlike me, I know!), but I hope you'll still enjoy it. Thank you for your review.

CBloom2, it will definitely be very difficult for Ethan to treat Cal - much like when Cal had to treat Ethan. You'll find out more about that in the chapter after this one! Thank you for your review - I'm glad you're enjoying it.

TildaJoy, Zoe and Max were in Chapter 19, but they were missing from Chapter 20, as you say. It's quite difficult to write about them as Zoe's not talking and Max can't go anywhere, but I've written an extra scene for this chapter. Thank you for your review.

Guest, thank you for your review - I'm glad you're enjoying it despite your fears for Zoe and Max! Their storyline has a slight development in this chapter and I've already written a Zax scene for the next chapter. I hope you'll enjoy them.

Tato Potato, I'm afraid Cal isn't in this chapter (sorry), but you might need the handkerchief for Chapter 22. I don't know how good I am at tear-jerkers, but you might just find out... Thank you for your review.

Tanith Panic, I won't be writing much about the bomber as he was given far too much time and attention in Holby City - and I have enough people to worry about! To be fair, Jacob does swagger round like he owns the ED! Thank you for your review.

Penelope salt, thank you for your review. I'm afraid this chapter focuses on injured characters other than Cal, but I hope you still enjoy it. Cal will have to be in the next chapter because I miss him too!

Georgy-Girl, thank you so much! It really is lovely that you're enjoying it so much. I hope you enjoy this chapter too. Thank you for your review!

Robyn looked up as three figures emerged from the ED. The policeman was waving a reproving finger at Honey, who looked pouty and fed up, while Louise was clearly trying to calm her down. Robyn almost smiled at the thought of Louise being the gentle, calming one, but smiling just wasn't possible now. Not even for Robyn.

After a few more stern words from the policeman, Louise and Honey came over to Robyn. Honey threw herself down beside Robyn with a sigh and folded her arms.

Louise sat on her other side. "Robyn, how are you doing?" Louise looked stressed and tired and as though she might snap at anyone who stepped out of line, but her voice was gentle.

"I don't know," said Robyn honestly. "I just feel… I don't know how I feel. Like a part of me is missing. No: not just missing. Cut away. And it hurts, Louise."

Louise patted her shoulder. "I know, Robyn. I wish there was something I could say."

"I'm glad you're here," admitted Robyn.

"I'm not sure anyone's ever said that to me before," said Louise. She was probably trying to make her words sound casual; even joking, but she didn't quite manage it.

"How's Charlie?" asked Robyn. "Are the boys okay?" She'd mostly thought of Max, but Charlie and the boys had regularly flitted across her consciousness.

Louise nodded. "Noel called the boys' relatives so they have someone with them now. Charlie's going to St James'."

"And what about Zoe and…" Robyn couldn't say his name.

"The policeman mentioned casualties, but he didn't mention Zoe and Max," said Louise. "Let's try to keep positive: okay?"

"I'll try," whispered Robyn.

Connie sat in the ambulance with Jacob's arm around her. She had questioned the necessity of this, but as Jacob had said, the ambulance was cramped and he had to put his arm somewhere. The paramedics had been reluctant to allow them to travel in the ambulance, but Connie had persuaded them that a surgeon and a nurse who worked in an emergency department were hardly going to hinder their work.

Charlie's heart was beating again, but he remained unconscious. For the first few minutes, Connie didn't allow herself to take her eyes off him, but he seemed better than he could have hoped for – and against her desires and inclination, thoughts of the other patient were creeping into her mind as well.

"Perhaps I should have left her inside," said Connie.

"When the ED was potentially about to be blown up?" said Jacob. "You don't hate her that much, do you?"

It didn't surprise Connie that Jacob seemed to know the history of her relationship with Rita. There wasn't that much Jacob didn't know. "She wasn't in any danger where she was. If she'd just stayed there and not moved..."

"You couldn't be sure she wasn't in danger," said Jacob. "And it's not like you could have run out of the ED and asked for help. I don't think you'll be running anywhere for a while, Mrs Beauchamp. Or wearing your other shoe."

"Where did I put it?" said Connie. She knew it wasn't important, but it bothered her that she had no idea where it was.

Jacob smiled. "I gave it to Dixie to take care of. I thought you'd be needing it again."

"Clever of you, Nurse Masters," said Connie. "With brains like that, you're wasted in nursing."

"Well, who am I to argue with the clinical lead?" said Jacob.

Connie turned her head to look at him. "You do realise that was sarcasm?"

Jacob shook his head. "I never would have expected you to resort to the lowest form of wit."

"I moderate my wit according to who I'm talking to – and their level of understanding," said Connie.

Jacob laughed. Connie felt his body shaking against hers. "If you say so, Queen Bee. If you say so."

Connie almost smiled too but both became serious as Rita's monitor started beeping.

Dylan reached the top of the stairs and walked over to the edge. He stood, looking down, feeling almost detached. He knew why he was up here, but he now felt quite calm. Honey wanted him to be normal. She seemed to think that not being normal was wrong. Dylan didn't believe he was ever going to be normal and in that moment, he'd hated himself. Hated himself for being wrong.

This, he knew, was a way out. Even if he did survive the fall, he wouldn't be able to go to the ED for treatment and St James' must be seriously overworked. If he took this option, it would soon be over. Then Honey and numerous others would be no more offended by his oddities and probably even Dervla would forget him before too long.

He took a step closer to the edge and closed his eyes. He was breathless, mostly from running but perhaps partly from the emotion. Dylan wasn't sure he wanted to die. There were good things in his life, like Dervla and his job. But he knew he didn't like being alive. Dervla only consoled him when they were together and Dylan wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to do his job. His professional life was falling apart along with everything else.

Then he became aware of footsteps, along with gasps for breath. Someone shouted his name.

"Who is it?" said Dylan, without turning.

"It's Ben. Lofty. I saw you coming up here. I was worried."

Dylan could tell that he meant it. He sounded scared, but that made no sense. "Why?" said Dylan in bewilderment. Why would anyone care that much about him?

Lofty moved closer. "Because you're my mate and you seem upset."

"I'm not upset," said Dylan.

He was more… resigned.

"Okay. But you're still my mate," said Lofty. "And I think Honey said something to you that… annoyed you?"

"No, Honey was right," said Dylan. "I'm wrong. And there's nothing I can do about it."

Lofty put his hand tentatively on Dylan's arm. "You don't need to do anything about it. You're great as you are, Dylan."

"You say that," said Dylan expressionlessly. "Maybe you even believe it. But everyone else knows the truth."

"You don't want to pay any attention to what Honey says," said Lofty. "Even Noel admits she's tactless sometimes."

Dylan sighed. "She wouldn't need tact if I was normal. You only need tact when there's something wrong."

Lofty spoke gently. "Why don't you come away from the edge, Dylan?"

"I don't want to," said Dylan.

"I know you don't," said Lofty. "And I know that what you're thinking about seems like the only way out. But maybe you don't need a way out. You've got your therapy and you've got your mates."

Dylan scoffed. "Mates, plural? I don't think so."

"You've got me and Zoe," continued Lofty, unabashed. "And you've got Dervla. You couldn't really leave Dervla, could you?"

"Maybe it's for the best," said Dylan with a shrug. "It's no life for a dog. She's already run away from me once."

Lofty pulled gently at Dylan's arm. "But then she came back and now she's happy. And I want you to come back too, Dylan. Come back from the edge. Come back to the ED with me. Please."

Dylan shook Lofty's and from his arm. Very slowly and deliberately, he walked towards the edge.

"Hello? Can anyone hear me?"

Max opened his eyes. He had the impression that time had passed and thought he might have been unconscious, but it was difficult to be sure of anything. He tried to take a breath in to shout, but only a small amount of air entered his lungs. The pain in his chest was excruciating, but that wasn't important. "My… wife…" he choked out. He was trying to shout, but barely made any sound at all.

"Hello?

"Hello." Max tried again. "My wife… help her."

The voice came again. "We'll help you and your wife, mate: don't worry. My name's Aaron: I'm a fireman. We're going to get you out of here as quickly as we can. Can you tell me your name and your wife's name?"

"My wife is Zoe… I'm Max."

"Don't worry, Max. We'll help both of you. I'll just see if I can make Zoe hear: my wife says I have a voice like a foghorn and I can see you're struggling a bit there. Zoe? Zoe, if you can hear me, can you try to make some sort of answer? Any kind of noise will do."

Max waited. The tension was so great, he wanted to scream, but he knew he couldn't. He couldn't afford to drown out any sound Zoe might make.

There was nothing.

"Have you spoken to Zoe?" asked Aaron.

"A bit," said Max. "Then she… stopped."

Aaron's voice was reassuring. "I'm guessing you work in this hospital, Max, so you'll know she might just have fainted, but it's scary being in this situation yourself, isn't it?"

"Scared for Zoe…"

"Of course you are," said Aaron. "I would be too. Okay: my colleague's gone to find a doctor who can treat you once we've got you out. All you need to do now is keep as still as you can and keep talking. I think we're ready to start clearing a path to you now."

Max tried to speak again, but his breaths were becoming weaker. "No… Zoe… first…"

"We'll do everything we can to help Zoe," were the last words Max heard as he sank back into unconsciousness. "I promise you, Max. Everything we can."