Chapter 10, Interlude: Firsts

March, Third Year

It was the Saturday of a Hogsmeade weekend, and that meant that for the third time so far this year Puck was trying to persuade me to join him for the night in a room at the Three Broomsticks.

"Come on, one night. I'll make it great," he told me with that irritating grin, his hand dropping down from where it was resting around my waist to grab my ass. I elbowed him sharply and he let go immediately, rolling his eyes as he rubbed his ribs. "Geez Santana, you're such a tease. Annalise already did it with Azimio like a month ago and they've only been together since January. We've been dating for like two years!"

"Okay, hold it right there," I demanded, spinning around with one finger in the air, my eyebrow raised challengingly. "We have so not been dating for two years. We've only been dating for like five months of those whole two years, and half of that was in first year when we were just kids, so don't go acting like I've been holding out on you for that long."

"Well, you're holding out on me now. I don't get what the big deal is about this, we've done stuff before," he complained, not seeming to care that we were standing in an open corridor.

"Lower your voice," I snapped.

"Santana, look," he started again, a little quieter and trying to sound more reasonable. "I've already booked the room. Let's go down tonight and have a nice meal, I'll find us something decent to drink and we can do whatever you want."

"Something decent to drink?" I repeated suspiciously.

"I'm not gonna get you drunk, I swear! I'm not going to force you into anything. Sure, I'll try and persuade you, but I'm not a complete asshole. If you say no again, I'll deal. I just want a night away from Hogwarts with my girlfriend, is that too much to ask?"

I knew that despite his words, if I agreed to go with him tonight then I wouldn't be able to argue with his compliments and pleases and the kisses on my neck. It had been hard enough to say no last time. But I remembered Tara, the popular sixth year who was dating Puck's brother, looking at me like I was acting crazy when I'd tried to talk to her about it. She'd said I should just get it over with and stop worrying so much. Brittany of course said I should wait if I was nervous, but she didn't have to deal with Puck's pleas on a regular basis.

"Fine."

I only whispered, but he heard anyway and fist-pumped the air.

"Yes!"

His reaction annoyed me more than I thought it would and I pushed away from him.

"Fuck you, Puck."

"I do hope so," he replied, victory in his eyes and not even bothering to make the effort to speak to my face rather than my boobs. I groaned, turning away.

"Don't push your luck or you'll be a bit lonely tonight when I don't turn up," I snapped, walking in the opposite direction to where I knew he was going.

"Ha, you won't be able to keep away!"

One Week Later

I stumbled through the crowd in the Shrieking Shack, grinning maniacally at the cheers that met me as I passed.

"Whoo!" I shouted out with just as much enthusiasm, lifting a fist into the air and spinning around in time with the music as I walked. This was fun! Everyone loved me, and our quidditch captain Monica and every other Hufflepuff I saw just kept giving me these great drinks and now my head felt really weird, like my brain was vibrating or something.

"Brittany Pierce, quidditch genius!" someone yelled behind me, pushing another cup into my hand. I giggled, taking a gulp and spilling some of it down my chin when I tipped the cup too high. I laughed as I passed it on to someone else and, recognising another quidditch uniform, grabbed at it. I looked up giddily, grinning when I saw sandy blonde hair.

"Sam! Sam, you're awesome, y'know that? You're totally gonna be captain of Gryff'ndor soon, you're the best person on that team, it's why we beat you so bad today cause the others are bad," I told him as seriously as I could, wrapping my arms around him when I suddenly felt dizzy.

"Thanks, Britt! You were amazing today!" he enthused. I giggled against him, lifting a hand to run through his hair in wonder.

"How is your hair so soft, Sam? So soft Sam… that rhymes! No, not rhymes. Something like rhymes…" He shuffled nearer, his arms circling my waist. "You've got really muscley," I noticed, poking his chest. It was solid underneath the thick red uniform.

"Well thanks, Britt. I've been working out a load, it's nice to find someone who notices."

He pulled me close and towards a more open space, his body moving against mine. I felt weirdly clumsy dancing and I tried to just move with the music with my hips. Sam seemed to like it because his hands pressed harder into my sides.

"You look great tonight, y'know," he said loudly into my ear. His words were kind of blurring together, and I wondered if that was how I sounded too.

"Whatcha mean, I'm in my quidditch clothes?" I pointed out, tilting my head as I stared up at him. He had really big lips. They were just as awesome to kiss as they looked - I'd found that out at my very first quidditch after-party earlier this year. People had given me drinks then as well even though we lost, and I'd added Sam, Matt and Rory to my kissing list in one night!

"Yeah well, y'always look hot Britt," he replied, his words even more muffled as he started kissing my neck. I closed my eyes, tightening my arms around him as he pressed into me more.

"Mm, that feels good, Sam," I mumbled happily. He brought his mouth up and his lips swallowed mine. My head was still buzzing and I didn't think I was kissing very well, so I opened my eyes to try and see if he liked it. It was kind of hard to see his face at this angle though, and I just ended up looking past him.

Santana was right there. Puck too. He had her pressed up against the wall, and I suddenly remembered everything she'd said to people over the last week about how great sex had been. She wouldn't talk about it when it was just me and her, but she told everyone else that it had been amazing fun. She wouldn't stop going on about it. So… couldn't I do that?

I pulled back from Sam. He looked confused, so I took his hand and began leading him away from the other dancing people with a grin and a wink, doing my best to walk in a straight line. I glanced at Santana as we passed, but I knew there was no way she could see me with Puck's massive head in the way. She'd be so excited when she found out I'd had sex too! Then we could talk about it! I hated not being able to talk about stuff with Santana. I found a door and pushed it open, jumping in excitement when I saw the room was empty. I almost fell over, but Sam caught me and I hung onto him for support.

"This is gonna be awesome," I whispered, pushing him clumsily into the door to close it and pressing my lips up against his.

"Brittany!"

She turned, and her face lit up when she saw me. A moment later she was bowling me over with a tight hug, then just hanging on to keep herself standing.

"Whoa, Britt, how much have you had to drink?" I asked in surprise, taking in her appearance. Her quidditch robes were stained with some sort of drink, and the make-up I had insisted she put on before coming to the party was smudged. On her neck were distinctive purple marks that had definitely not been there at the start of the night. It felt like she was clinging onto me for all she was worth, the way her nails were digging into my arm.

"I don't know… people just kept giving me drinks and it all tasted so good! Well not all of it, but most of it, I gave the nasty stuff to other people. I think everyone likes me, Santana!"

She was half-smiling – but that was worrying, not reassuring. If Brittany really was happy, which she should be after her performance on the quidditch pitch today, she would have a permanent grin etched onto her face, not a half-smile.

"Of course they like you Brittany, you caught the snitch in like ten minutes. Even the Gryffindors are impressed," I assured her. I wrapped both my arms around her to help support her and was very glad I hadn't had that much to drink so far. Most of what I'd had upon our arrival had already worn off, and the way she wouldn't let go of me told me she needed me as sober as possible. The why of that remained a mystery. "Where've you been all night? I've been looking for you."

"No you weren't, you were sucking face with Puck," she replied solemnly, looking straight into my eyes and her half-smile completely gone now. Thinking of Puck still made me feel a little queasy, and I would much rather have been dancing with Brittany than kissing him all night. But appearances had to be maintained.

She turned away from me suddenly to look across the room. I followed her gaze and found Sam, one of the Gryffindor chasers, watching her with a grin. He waved and she returned the gesture half-heartedly. As soon as he had turned away, she buried her face into my neck and I thought I heard her whimper. The half-smile, the unusually intense clinginess, the way she was shying away from anyone else who came nearby; they were small signs that probably no one else would notice, but I knew Brittany better than anyone, and I could tell something was wrong.

I gripped her more firmly, not willing to let her go as I moved us away from the crowd to one of the corridors and then an empty room. Almost empty, anyway. One bark at the two Ravenclaws making out sent them scurrying away. Even two years after my hexing spree following Tony's death had ended, I still had the reputation and I took complete advantage of it, even though thinking of those weeks always brought back a dull ache inside.

Once we were alone and the room was quiet apart from the distant thump of the music, I pulled away from Brittany a little to look at her properly. Now it was just us, she was making no pretence at being happy.

"Tell me," I said simply. She gulped, sniffling a little before replying.

"I… it just…" She took a deep breath before trying again. "It hurt!" she whispered, like she was telling me a secret. I could see tears nestling in the corners of her eyes, waiting to fall.

"Hurt? Did someone hurt you, Brittany?" I asked urgently. Suddenly the marks on her neck took on a whole new meaning. I lifted a hand to touch one lightly. "Who did this?"

"S-Sam."

I stared at her in shock. I'd been expecting to hear the name of one of the older Slytherin boys, but… Sam? He was basically the only popular kid in our year besides Brittany who was always nice to everyone and I kind of liked him, even if he did have lips like a fish. Anger began to grow inside of me, replacing my surprise.

"Sam did this? He… Wait till I get my hands on him! Maldito cabrón!" I fumed, white-hot fury bubbling up at the thought of Brittany being hurt. I almost bolted out of the room to find him and curse him straight into the Hospital Wing, but the neediness in Brittany's expression held me in place. "What did he do? Tell me, Brittany, tell me what he did!" The tears were sliding down her cheeks now and I reined in my temper enough to reach up and wipe them away. I had to stay calm for now, for Brittany. I would deal with Sam later, and he would regret ever laying a hand on my girl!

"W-we had sex," she whispered, staring at the floor.

A lump became lodged in my throat at her words. I swallowed heavily, taking a deep breath before replying at the same volume, my eyes on Brittany's face the whole time for any sign that she might lie. I didn't think she would about something like this, but I had to be sure.

"Did he force you?" I couldn't have spoken louder even if I had wanted to.

Wide blue eyes suddenly jerked up to stare at me in shock. "No! No no, he didn't! I swear! Sam wouldn't do that, you know him!"

"Then why? How did he hurt you?"

"I… it was my idea. You kept saying how fun it was to the others but you wouldn't talk about it with me so I figured if I did it I'd understand and we could talk. I persuaded him, I said it was a good idea, I said you'd said how good it was, but… it hurt, Santana! Why didn't you say it would hurt?" she asked, raising her hands to cover her face as she quietly cried.

It felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. I'd never hated myself as much as I did at that moment. I'd never regretted a lie more. Sex with Puck in that hotel room had been nothing like I'd thought it would be. But I couldn't say that, not when half the school already knew I'd spent the night with him. So I'd lied. I couldn't even bear to tell Brittany how little I'd felt apart from the pain, so I'd refused to speak on the subject at all when we were alone. And now look what I had caused… She looked so pitiful, sniffling into her hands, and I took one big step forward to secure her in the tightest hug I could manage.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, so sorry," I repeated into her shoulder, gently rubbing circles against her back. The tremors in her body slowly eased as I held her. I rocked her slowly, out of time with the distant music, until she was calmer and her sniffling had completely stopped. I pressed my lips softly to her forehead, pushing several loose strands of hair behind her ears. I paused, then kissed her briefly on the lips before pulling back properly to see a tiny smile push its way through her glum exterior, although it disappeared almost immediately. "I really am sorry, Brittany. I didn't think, I just… I didn't realise…" I trailed off, not knowing how to explain my sheer idiocy. Her first time, that was meant to be special, had been reduced to a drunken hook-up that the whole school would know about by tomorrow. Even if Sam said nothing, people would have seen them going off together.

"It's not your fault," she replied, rubbing at her bloodstained eyes. "I decided to, I just… I thought it would be better. I didn't mean to cry on you. B-but… does it always hurt?"

"I don't think so, Britt. Just the first time. I'm…" I took a gulping breath, trying not to let my distress show through and upset her any further. "I'm sorry it wasn't special. It's supposed to be special." It hadn't really felt special for me with Puck, but he'd at least made some effort by getting us a room at the Three Broomsticks, and making sure we had breakfast delivered the next morning. But for Brittany it should have been fireworks and a romantic dinner and everything it was supposed to be. She was worth all that.

"I'm glad you're here, Santana. Even if it wasn't very special, at least you're here." She was staring down at me with such trust, even after what I'd caused. There was something else in her eyes as well, but I didn't recognise it.

"Just tell me what you need, Brittany. Anything, I'll make it happen," I told her seriously.

"Anything?" I nodded, hoping she wasn't going to ask for something too difficult. "I think… I think I need a distraction," she said quietly, still not looking away from me. She didn't seem as drunk now, although the alcohol was sure to still be affecting her.

"What kind of-"

Her kiss cut me off, and caught me kind of by surprise, but I didn't protest. It wasn't like this was something new for us. We'd kissed occasionally since that first time in my dorm, but something about this felt different. Her hands were tucked behind my elbows, pulling me closer, and her lips felt more insistent than usual against mine. One of my own hands curled around her neck of its own accord and I could feel the tiny hairs on her skin rise under the feather light touch of my fingers. She shifted, pressing me even closer with firm hands sliding over my back.

Without any more warning than that, her tongue pushed into my mouth and her fingers pressed eagerly into my skin as her hands moved to my shoulders, pushing me back against the wall with a muffled thump. Our lips moved together perfectly, faster and stronger each time, like they were designed to fit. Her body pressing up against mine was intoxicating and the smell of her perfume mixed with sweat filled my nose. Her hands moved yet again, running up and down the tight fabric of my dress and leaving goosebumps wherever they trailed.

It hit me suddenly through the haze of pleasure; I'm making out with Brittany. Properly making out - not just an occasional innocent kiss when no one was about and one of us was feeling a bit down, which I secretly enjoyed more than I should. I was making out with my best friend, and I was totally into it.

Then her lips moved to attack my neck and my thoughts slid away completely as I gasped and my eyes slipped open to glimpse blonde curls. I lifted a hand to run my fingers slowly through her ponytail, eyelids shutting again so I at least had one sense that wasn't completely overwhelmed. An undeniable moan of pleasure escaped my lips when I felt the scrape of her teeth just below my jawbone. Every press of her lips, every lick of her tongue and every scratch of her teeth heightened my senses until I couldn't take it anymore. My whole body was on fire and it felt like I was going to explode. I was breathing unevenly and it was too much, I couldn't handle it. Too much too fast.

"S-stop."

It was almost impossible to say, but she did. She placed one last, excruciatingly tender kiss just below my ear, then she was pulling back to look at me quizzically. I took a deep breath. I couldn't mess this up. This was Brittany. I couldn't allow anything to mess up our friendship, even something that felt so goddamn good. My chest heaved and I tried to steady my breathing and forget the feel of Brittany's lips crashing against mine so I could talk reasonably. Without meaning to my tongue slipped out to lick my lips, tasting her lip gloss again and that sent me reeling back into thoughts of kissing her.

I grabbed the collar of her quidditch uniform and pulled her in again, hands wrapping desperately around the back of her neck to bring her as close as possible. She responded immediately, her tongue running across my bottom lip where mine had just been, and I kissed her hard as I tried to sate my newfound appetite. Her hands began wandering again and when I felt her fingers running along the underside of my bra I pulled away to one side, spinning around so I didn't have to face her as I tried to calm myself. Shit. It shouldn't be so hard to pull away. It's just the alcohol. That's what's making me feel like someone's electrocuted all my nerves at once. I was buzzing, but I knew that behind me Brittany was waiting for some sort of explanation. I'd promised her anything to make her feel better, but I couldn't let this continue without saying something.

"I don't want you hurt, Britt," was the first thing I managed to mumble. I took one last breath, and turned to look at her. There were still tear tracks visible on her cheeks but other than that it seemed she had entirely forgotten her sadness. She was breathing heavily as well, but there was a clear smile on her face and her hands were grasping tightly onto the material of her quidditch trousers.

"You're not going to hurt me, though. You make me feel good, your hands feel like they're on fire when you touch me."

"That's… I…"

I struggled for words and ran a hand through my hair, trying to get my thoughts in order. I felt nervous in a way I hadn't in a long time, her words stirring up the doubts I still had sometimes about whether it should really feel so amazing kissing my best friend, a girl. That wasn't how it was meant to be. I was meant to be obsessing over Puck, not Brittany. And I had to have some self-control to stop myself getting totally overwhelmed. There had to be limits, or I'd go crazy. Before, the limits had been no tongue, and keeping our hands to ourselves, but that had been completely ignored tonight and I didn't think I could go back to those rules anyway, not after how this made me feel. So there had to be new rules.

"I need to protect you, Brittany. From… from what people say, not just what they do," I muttered.

"I don't care what people say," she replied immediately.

"That's because I care enough for both of us, to keep us at the top - that's how it's always been, right?" She nodded, not speaking this time. "If this is going to happen again, we have to be careful. No one around, just like before. Clothes on," I added, feeling uncomfortable as I specified the new rule that had never needed mentioning before. "And it can't happen a lot. I've got Puck, remember? And I guess you've got Sam now. They wouldn't understand, okay?"

"Okay, Santana. It's a secret, I get it. But please, can you make me feel good again now? I just want to feel close to you, and… and pretend what happened earlier never happened. Please?"

Cautiously I stepped forward. She held out her little finger and I took it gingerly, taking another step closer. She lifted our little fingers and held them up next to our faces.

"Best friends," she said simply with a smile. Yes. That was what we were, best friends. Nothing more, just best friends who could make each other feel good. I nodded, and leaned up to kiss her again.

Thanks to monochromeheartbeat for helping me out with this chapter, and Yumoto for the Spanish (which approximately translates as 'damned bastard').

Theme song for this chapter: Lightning by The Wanted, add youtube to the start of this: watch?v=2J7xTokwR1M

Drawing from this chapter can be found here - laurasfantasia. tumblr post/18759450580/shriekingshack