Hey everybody! I hope you're all having a wonderful day. Stay awesome. Love you.

Also I don't own Harry Potter.

Chapter 19

I am not a morning person. I have never been and I don't intend to be. There are only two reasons for why I wake up early and one of them is school, the other one was Christmas. The boys however (not counting Remus of course!) were not like me. They didn't wake up early regardless of what festivities were occurring. Which was understandable, yet annoying.

"Wake up! wake up!" I said loudly as I swung open the door to the room.

Remus was already awake and seemed to be in high spirits, he smiled at me as I barged in. I did this every year, yet they never seemed to learn. I was carrying with me a wooden spoon and a pot. Luckily all their beds were near each other, so I didn't have to go to each bed individually and disturb their slumber. Lucky me!

Clang! the wooden spoon hit the pot and James clutched the pillow and covered his ears, muttering curse words at me. James was the easiest to wake due to the fact he was a light sleeper. Peter and Sirius however were intensely deep sleepers. How were they intensely deep sleepers? Let's just say that if there was a war going on and they were asleep? They would stay asleep. In fact, they would probably get killed in their sleep.

"Shame on you James Potter! That foul language is not tolerated today!" I said, in faux anger as I sat down on the edge of his bed.

James sat up and fumbled around looking for his glasses, today his hair was messier than usual which was strange because I didn't think that was even possible. He ran a hand through his hair, looking frustrated and annoyed.

"Do you have to do this every year, Winnie?" He said, sighing.

I laughed and swiftly grabbed his shirt which was on the floor, "You should know by now that I stick with tradition, Prongs." I glanced at Remus, "Now, Remus and I expect to see all of you awake in ten minutes. Wake them up, Jamesy. Whatever it takes!" I said and then proceeded to grab Remus so we could go wait in the common room.

I could almost feel James rolling his eyes at me, "Don't call me Jamesy!" he grumbled, throwing a pillow at me.

Deciding it was the perfect time to send Christmas letters to my family, I said goodbye to Remus so I could go to the Owlery. I wish I hadn't, the moment I walked in - all eyes were on me, it was me. The traitor, the bitch, etc. The past days I had been experiencing the worst days of my life, not only where people treating me badly. They weren't even trying to hide it, people I had once considered friends - were now gossiping about me and glaring at me at every chance.

"Poor Sirius, he had no idea that his friend was actually the equivalent of a banshee." one said to her friend, giggling while she was eyeing me. I rolled my eyes at her childish ways and quickly gave my owl the letters. As I left I heard a sentence that almost made me want to explode.

"I never liked her anyway." said Agnes Jeffleberg. A Hufflepuff who I had sat with in Divination for two years, I always thought that she was a sweet girl. I guess not.

But I wasn't going to let them ruin my mood. Today was a good day and they were not going to ruin that. Christmas was one of the more special holidays for us. The marauders and I had a very special Christmas tradition. During Christmas, normal students would exchange gifts, food and other nice items. But we weren't normal students.

Our tradition was to give each other presents that we would never use. Basically we had one year to buy each other the most useless and pointless thing we could find. It didn't have to be something expensive, it had to be funny and it had to have no purpose at all. You'd assume after five years that we had at least once gotten each other the same present. But no, every year we somehow managed to gift each other the most useless presents we could find.

I heard a loud groan as I opened the door to the common room, letting light in. "Why are the lights still on? Somebody turn off the lights and also, why the bloody hell am I awake at this ungodly hour?" Sirius said as he walked down the stairs and collapsed on the couch.

Remus laughed at him, "The lights aren't on - that's the sun, mate."

Sirius sat up, scowling. "Well somebody turn the sun off then!" You could obviously tell that he was a early riser and loved to wake up in the morning. Not.

I rolled my eyes at him, "Sirius, it's Christmas! why are you such a grinch! This is supposed to be a happy day. With you know - happiness?"

Sirius turned to me with and lazily raised a brow, "Christmas? Again?" he paused. "What's a grinch?"

Remus scoffed and turned to me, shaking his head in shame. "Wizards." he laughed, "He's a furry green thing that stole christmas because he hates happiness and cheerfulness."

Sirius's eyes widened, "Really? Did they catch him? The muggle world is more interesting than I thought." he said, eagerly. "James! c'mere and listen to this!"

I laughed, "Remus failed to mention that the Grinch is a fictional character. He doesn't exist - but he does exist in the wizarding world. In fact, he's sitting here today. His name is Sirius Black!"I said, jabbing him with my elbow.

James and Peter reluctantly walked down the stairs, looking like death itself. Actually they weren't even walking, they were slumping down the stairs. Peter rubbed his eyes as he walked down the stairs, he almost tripped a few times too. Which was strange because the stairs didn't have that many steps. I bounced up from the couch and walked over to the stairs to greet my lazy friends.

"Good morning sunshines!" I grinned at them. "Are you ready to have a fun, amazing day?"

Their only response was a glare.

Remus dragged me away from the stairs, "I don't think you should be standing too close to them." he pretended to whisper, "They might eat you." he said making me laugh.

I shook my head at them, "You guys are so dramatic! It's only ten in the morning not three in the morning." I then pointed to the Christmas tree, "Aren't you going to at least open your presents?"

That sentence alone changed their entire mood, from sleepy and lazy to eager and suddenly full of energy. The idiots probably forgot that the best part of Christmas was the presents of course! James, Sirius and Peter rushed to the Christmas tree and began to fumble and throw around the neatly wrapped presents under the tree.

I laughed at their childish antics and threw an arm around Remus's shoulders, "Look at the kids - they look so happy! we did a great job at raising them didn't we?" I said sarcastically.

Remus chuckled, "I remember when we were their age." he said playing along.

Something that really made me laugh was the fact that people thought that Remus was an uptight nerd, people were always wondering how we were friends with him. The truth was that Remus was just like us, but in a more subtle way and with boundaries. He was witty and had a sharp tongue that he usually kept hidden. In a way, I felt like Remus helped keep us grounded and he made us see things clearly. Without him we would be either expelled or worse - dead.

"Hey - who got me these two sticks for Christmas?" Sirius said, looking confused as he took out the present I got him. Chopsticks. I laughed and raised my hand up, "I did, they're chopsticks. You use them to eat asian cuisine."

Sirius furrowed his brows together, "Is there any asian cuisine available in the wizarding world?" he began to use the chopsticks as drum sticks and started drumming on his leg.

I shrugged, "Nope! But there is in the muggle world. I'll take you sometime." I smiled but then stopped, "Oh no - I just failed. My present does have a purpose."

Sirius shrugged, "Not in the wizarding world,"

James took a big box from under the tree, shook it and then read the back of the box. "Hey Winnie- this is for you." He said and proceeded to throw the box at me, which I somehow caught.

I looked at the red box, there wasn't anything on there except my name. I opened it and found a piece of paper, covered by styrofoam. A lot of it, I grabbed the paper, I would be reading that later "Oh my God, someone gave me a box of styrofoam!" I laughed.

They all looked at each other, bemused expressions on their faces. "Who was it?" I asked, glancing at them.

James shrugged, "Not me." He glanced at Sirius, "Was it you, mate?"

Sirius shook his head, "No, I got you cat hairs as your present." he laughed to himself. "There's so much you could knit a sweater with it. It was probably Remus. That's his type - harmless and boring." he teased.

Remus threw a pillow at Sirius's head, "Go stuff it, Black. But no, it wasn't me. My present is actually interesting - it's a book about norse gods. In their language!" he looked at Sirius's blank stare. "The language is extinct." he said as if it was obvious. "Was it you Pete?"

Peter shook his head. That was strange, not just weird. Strange. I doubted it was Mum or dad, they would always write their names on a card. Greg usually sent me presents covered with the Chudley Cannons wrapping paper so it was always easy to distinguish between his presents and others. But no, this was a red box with nothing but styrofoam and a piece of paper.

I set the box down neatly and sat down, unfolding the small piece of paper. There seemed to be a sentence, I assumed it said something like 'Merry Christmas' or 'Happy holidays'. That wasn't the case.

"I'm so sorry Winnie - Kenneth." I said out loud for the rest of them to hear, my heart felt like it was going to explode.

I stared at the piece of paper, it was like feeling a thousand emotions all at once and then nothing at all. It was like my body, mind and soul went into shock and now I couldn't feel anything. This piece of paper made everything more confusing than it already was. Why was he apologising? He had already succeeded in getting what he wanted. What more could he possibly want?

They all jumped up from their seats as if I had just announced war.

James grabbed the piece of paper from my hand, inspecting it like it was a murder weapon. "This doesn't make sense - why would he do this? Does he feel guilty or something?"

Remus used his wand on the paper to see if there was any hidden messages, something that would explain the cryptic note. But no, nothing. It just made no sense to me. Why would he suddenly care after everything he did?

My eyes widened, "He did it on purpose." I said, making everyone turn and look at me. "He didn't obliviate me properly - on purpose."

Sirius narrowed his eyes, "What do you mean? That makes no sense. Why would he want to get caught?" he asked, nobody in particular.

"Maybe he had a moment of weakness." Peter spoke up, surprising us all. "I- I mean you two do have history together what if he felt guilty..I could be wrong though." he said and laughed awkwardly.

Remus nodded, "That could be true, I mean you were together for a year - was it?"

James didn't look convinced, "No, he was and always will be a lying prick. I don't buy in to his sorry act, if he ever felt something towards her he wouldn't have done anything to her in the first place." he said, crossing his arms.

Sirius cleared his throat to get our attention, "I have a theory. Let's say that he didn't do this alone - I mean have you seen Kenneth? He's not capable of something like this alone. He must have had some help." His eyes trailed to me, "Winnie who hates you? Who utterly despises your existence?"

I laughed scornfully, "Every student in Hogwarts maybe?"

I felt completely empty inside. I was just so confused and tired. Tired of all the drama. Every time something good happened in my life, it would disappear. Every time something got clear, it would get confusing again. It was like a never-ending circle. I wanted to be done with Kenneth. I wanted everyone to stop treating me like I was nothing. I wanted to clear my head and to just stop being Winnie Powers. I felt like I was being suffocated and I needed to breathe.

I stood up, "You guys I'm going to go outside - I need some fresh air." I said plastering on a fake smile.

James grabbed my arm, gently. "But - But you love Christmas, don't you want to see what you got?" I could almost hear him begging me to stay.

For a second there I forgot about the fact that it was Christmas. The fun, the spirit - it was all gone. I didn't feel like opening presents, I didn't feel like singing Christmas songs. I didn't feel like doing anything at all. All I knew was that I just couldn't stay here anymore, I needed to go where I could get some space.

I forced out a laugh which I hoped sounded genuine, "No, it's fine. Honestly, you guys go unwrap your presents. You better tell me what you get." I said, smiling.

Remus put a hand on my shoulder, "Winnie, are you okay?" He whispered, studying my face.

"I'm fine, Lupin. I just need to take a break." I said honestly.

He nodded understandingly, "Okay, then I'm coming with you." He stopped me before I could refuse, "I don't care what you're going to say. I'm coming with you."

Once outside, I lay down on the bench and shut my eyes, I could feel the weight shift in the bench so I knew Remus had sat next to me. It was such a beautiful day outside, the snow was perfectly laid out - all nice and cold. It would have been a perfect day for a snow ball fight, if only my mood wasn't so awful.

"It wasn't like this last year." I said, my eyes still shut. "It wasn't so dramatic. What the hell happened?"

Remus laughed, "It was dramatic - it just wasn't dramatic for you." he said wisely.

My eyes fluttered open and I sat up, "Remus, everyone in school hates me." I said blankly as if stating the weather.

He looked at me, eyebrows drawn in confusion. "Wait, what? No - are you serious?"

I laughed bitterly, running a hand through my hair. "Everyone thinks I'm a traitor - everywhere I go, there's at least one person gossiping about me. It's been happening for days - I can't handle it, Moony. I can't. Everyone thinks I betrayed you guys. Then there's Kenneth, who doesn't stop..I don't know - existing? He keeps ruining everything. I'm so sick of it. I'm sick of this. I can't do this anymore." I rambled, I couldn't control my self. It was like my mouth was on vent mode and I couldn't shut it off.

Remus gave me a sympathetic look, "Winnie, why- why haven't you told us this before?" he said, sighing.

I shrugged, "I don't know. I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know what's happening to me, Moony." I said avoiding his concerned gaze. The best way I could describe how I was feeling was like digging a hole, the deeper I got - the harder it was to see the light.

Remus shook his head and grabbed my shoulders, making me look at him. "Winnie you and I both know what's happening to you and I'm not going to allow it. This happened once to you and it's not going to happen again. You helped me when I had nothing and now I'm going to help you, you just have to let us in - let me in. We're going to get through this, alright?"

What he meant by 'this happened once to you' made me almost want to laugh. He was referring to the period of depression I underwent after Kenneth and I had split. When I found that Kenneth cheated on me. Remus's words gave me hope, kind of like a beacon of light in the gloomy darkness that I was currently living in. Okay, that was a bit dramatic. But I didn't need hope. Hope wasn't going to do me any good, I needed a solution and I needed it now. I couldn't wait after the christmas holidays - I needed answers. I needed to know why Kenneth did what he did, I needed to convince everyone that I wasn't the spawn of Satan - I needed to get my life back, goddammit.

I looked up at Remus, "I need to talk to Kenneth."