I wanted to update all the storylines in this chapter, but once I'd written it, I realised it was twice as long as it needed to be. So I'm afraid I've cut it into two. As Chapter 30 is already written, it will be posted tomorrow - probably in the afternoon unless there's an emergency or I read it through and decide it's not ready to be posted.
Tanith Panic, I hope it was an enjoyable rollercoaster and not just terrifying! I'm afraid you'll have to wait to find out about Cal, but I do have a proper medical explanation for it. Yes, we know who Lofty loves! Thank you for your review.
Georgy-Girl, I'm sorry it took me so long to update - I used to be several chapters ahead of my updates, but now I'm usually writing the chapters on the day they're due to be posted. I'm hoping I can get back to my old ways! Thank you for your review.
Tato Potato, thank you for your review. I think any more than two deaths would be a bit excessive, but that does mean I could kill someone else off if I want to. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter!
CBloom2, someone told me that if I was going to kill Cal off, he needed to forgive Ethan first. So now he's forgiven Ethan! There's no Cal in this chapter so I understand if you don't have time to read it, but I always love receiving your reviews - thank you!
20BlueRoses, if someone else was writing this story, I'd be ignoring the possibility of Cal not recovering too. There might or might not be repercussions for Connie... no, I'm not teasing you. I genuinely haven't decided! Thank you for your review.
ETWentHome, thank you for your review. I was a bit nervous about writing Connie's feelings so I'm really glad it worked for you! Even if Max's memory loss is permanent, I imagine someone will fill him in. Poor Max. Maybe he'd rather I'd killed him.
Robyn entered Resus nervously. She didn't know what she was dreading most: seeing Max or seeing the slapper he'd married.
Max was lying very still. He looked smaller than usual and much more fragile. There were machines and wires, of course: Robyn had expected that, but she still wasn't prepared. She gave a tiny gasp and reminded herself not to cry. She had to support Max now. She had to be strong.
As Robyn approached, Zoe lifted a tearstained face.
"I've come to see my brother," said Robyn.
Zoe nodded and stood up. "I'll be back soon, Max."
"I love you," said Max.
"I love you too," said Zoe.
"Yeah, right!" said Robyn.
She waited until Zoe had gone, then she sat on the chair her sister-in-law (no, that's not something I want to think about!) had vacated.
Max was looking confused. "What the hell did you say that for?"
Robyn didn't pretend not to know what he meant. "I just…" She looked around uncertainly, but there were no doctors in the room. She had no idea what approach they were taking with Max's memory. She mentally called herself names for not keeping her emotions in check.
"What's your problem, Robyn?" She could see Max was growing agitated. He was struggling to breathe and his face was screwed up as though he was in pain.
Robyn looked automatically at his monitor. "Max, you've got to calm down, okay?"
"Just tell me what you mean!" said Max between gasps. "I'm not stupid, Robyn."
"I know you're not," said Robyn.
The fight seemed to go out of Max. His head flopped slightly to the side as a look of exhaustion came over his face, but he didn't give up. "I can tell there's something you're hiding from me. I could tell Zoe was too."
"It's just… it's just you weren't the only person injured," improvised Robyn. "A couple of people are in a really bad way."
"Who?" said Max.
Robyn hesitated. "Charlie and Rita went to St James'. There hasn't been any news, but they weren't looking good."
Max shook his head. "No, it's more than that, Robyn. I know there's more. I saw the way you looked at Zoe. Like you hated her."
"I don't hate her. We… we had a professional difference of opinion," said Robyn. "So things are a bit awkward now, but I'm sure…" Her voice trailed away as she saw the look of anger on Max's face.
"Don't lie to me, Robyn. Just tell me. What did you do to her?"
His heartbeat was increasing again. "I think I should go and find Lily," said Robyn.
"No." Max's hand shot out to grasp Robyn's wrist. The movement made him groan in pain, but his grip was surprisingly strong. "You've got to tell me, Robyn." His voice was shaking with emotion. "You've got to tell me now."
Dylan wondered if seeing Lofty would always give him such a sense of relief. Lofty gave the impression he could deal with anything. Dylan knew there were things he struggled with sometimes, such as carrying things, but when you needed comfort, reassurance and support, no-one was better than Lofty.
Dylan was surprised to realise he'd known this for a while, but it wasn't until recently that he'd experienced it himself.
Lofty put his hand on Dylan's arm. "Are you all right, Dylan?"
"I think so," said Dylan.
Lofty nodded sympathetically. "It's been quite a day, hasn't it?"
"Yes, you always did have a great capacity for understatement," said Dylan.
"I was wondering about going up to see how Ethan was doing," said Lofty. "But I could stay if you wanted… I mean, if you wanted to run anything past a nurse."
Dylan was touched. He knew what Lofty really meant, but he'd known Dylan wouldn't like that so he'd modified his statement accordingly.
Dylan hesitated, toying between telling Lofty that he was fine and sharing some of his emotional strain. But instead he asked: "Are you all right, Ben?"
"I'm fine," said Lofty reassuringly. "Thanks for asking." It seemed for a moment that this was all Lofty would say, but then he continued. "I'm worried about Cal. Worried about Ethan too. Worried about Charlie and Rita. But I'll be fine."
"You don't have to say that, you know," said Dylan. "I know I'm not the sort of person anyone would go to with their problems. I'm not the most sympathetic and I'm… not at my best at the moment, but I'm… I'm willing to listen."
Lofty smiled at him gratefully. "You seem very sympathetic to me."
Dylan regarded him suspiciously, but it seemed as though Lofty meant it. "Ben. If you wanted to go up and see Cal, and you think they might like the opinion of an ED consultant, I could always…"
"If you've got time, Dylan," said Lofty with even more gratitude, "I would really appreciate that. But we won't go just yet. It's been a stressful time and I think I need a bit of a break first."
It was strange, thought Dylan, how much was communicated between them without saying the words. "Then we'll have a break first, Ben," he said. He paused, looking into Lofty's tired but still friendly face. "I think perhaps we both need it."
It was a new feeling for Connie. Walking (or, in this case, limping) through the hospital corridors, feeling weak and helpless. It was partly that it wasn't her own hospital and she couldn't have taken control even if she wanted to (though had she been in a stronger frame of mind, she might have tried), but it was more than that.
She had felt helpless before. She'd lost people who were close to her. But in every other instance that came immediately to mind, Connie had at least had the comfort of knowing she'd done everything she could. If there were decisions to be made, no matter how difficult, she knew that she'd considered each option carefully and made a decision in the best interests of the patient.
But not this time.
If she'd instructed Rita to remain in the hospital; if she'd insisted on taking Rita to Resus (the bomb had already exploded by then and as far as Connie knew, there was no structural damage to Resus); even if she'd sent someone back into the hospital for the equipment, perhaps she'd still be alive.
"There was nothing more you could have done, Connie," said Jacob.
"Mrs Beauchamp," she murmured, but without really caring. "Let's think about Charlie now."
They were taken into St James' Resus. On another day, Connie would have looked around and compared it with the Resus she considered to be her own, but today, she only looked for that familiar face.
He was awake and looking straight at Louis, though neither seemed to be speaking.
Charlie turned his head towards Connie. There was a light in his eye as he recognised her. Then his mouth moved silently, his lips framing her name.
"Charlie," said Connie, as Jacob helped her over to them. Louis at once stood up, allowing Connie to sit down. Connie wished she could be sure if this was a rare sign of good manners or a desire to get away from his father.
"Connie," said Charlie, and she realised he probably had been speaking before: just too softly for her to hear.
"How are you?" said Connie.
Charlie smiled. "I'm alive, Connie. At my age and with my medical history, that's enough."
Connie didn't know what to say. She took his hand.
"How's Rita?" said Charlie.
"She's upstairs," said Connie softly.
She felt the pressure of his hand increase just slightly. "Connie, you don't have to pretend with me. You know that. I know what life is like and I know what medicine is like."
"We lost her," said Connie, and felt tears slipping down her cheeks. She turned away from Charlie and caught Jacob's sympathetic look.
"I'm sorry," said Charlie. "She was much too young. But I know you did everything you could, Connie."
Connie shook her head.
Jacob came to stand beside her. "It's true, Connie, and I'm going to keep saying it for the rest of my life if I have to. Connie could not have done more for Rita."
"I know," said Charlie simply.