Chapter 22: Bludger Attack

September, Sixth Year

For once, we weren't sat together in the Great Hall. I was sat with the Slytherins, paying little attention to them, and the next table over Brittany was wedged between Becky and, of course, Artie. I resisted scowling in his direction, just in case Brittany noticed and thought it was aimed at her - although that wasn't likely, considering how her eyes hadn't moved from the front of the room for the last ten minutes. The Sorting Ceremony was coming to an end, and as I heard Professor Sylvester call out 'Pierce, Chloe' I quickly retrained my gaze on the stool. Chloe was hurrying over to it and pulled the hat hard enough over her head that it slipped right past her nose, but she wasn't sat there for long. The Sorting Hat sung out after barely a second of consideration.

"Ravenclaw!"

I cheered immediately along with Brittany and the entire Ravenclaw table, for once not caring what anyone thought. Chloe had a smile on her face that made her look just like her sister, and I was glad that she didn't have the same bad start to life at Hogwarts that Brittany and I had. Of course it had all turned out fine in the end - well, mostly - but at the time not being in the same house had seemed devastating.

I tuned out the rest of the Sorting, not really caring about any of the other little kids and just clapping when I was supposed to. My eyes were trained back on the Hufflepuff table, instead. She was giggling with Artie. Now that I understood it was jealousy I felt, as well as the outright dislike towards him that I'd always harboured, it made it that much harder not to march over and force them apart by sitting between them. But I couldn't do that. I didn't want to make a spectacle.

Now the thought was in my head, it wouldn't go away. For the rest of the summer I'd been thinking about her, and everything that had ever confused me about us just fell into place. I still didn't know what to do, though. I'd been agonising over every time I could have told her before she got with Artie - even before Mike. But then I realised it didn't matter, because even if I had worked out my feelings sooner, I was still too scared to say anything. Just because I knew it in my head, that didn't make it safe to admit it out loud. I'd tried. Last night, alone in my bedroom, I'd tried to whisper it to myself. The words had been there in my head, repeating over and over. I love Brittany. I love Brittany. But I couldn't bring myself to say it.

So if I couldn't even admit it out loud when I was alone, what was I supposed to do about it now? She was curled up around Artie right now, giggling at something he'd said, and I felt my dislike for him intensify. Maybe if I could just show her how useless he really was? If I could only get her to consider me as a possibility again - show her I wouldn't break her heart; that I understood now. I had to be so careful not to mess things up this time. But I wasn't beaten yet. She'd been mine first, even if I hadn't realised at the time.

The food arrived, and the feast passed so slowly without Britt by my side. I should have been used to it, but I wasn't. I nodded disinterestedly when Slytherins came over to congratulate me on my captaincy, trying to get a good word in so I'd consider them for the team. They were all idiots. I was going to pick whoever was best, not whoever could come up with the most compliments. Still, it was a nice feeling, having this power. I was finally getting recognition for all the hard work I'd put into getting us the Quidditch Cup last year.

Finally it was over. I was glad. I didn't think I could take much more of Artie drooling over Brittany, or Brittany planting soft but repeated kisses on his cheek, or Berry's comments to me about how cute they looked. At least most people had the sense to work out I disliked Artie and didn't mention it.

Brittany didn't even wait for me. She waved, hurried over to congratulate Chloe then left with Artie. I found myself jostled in the middle of a group of Gryffindor first years. Hearing Kurt direct them, I pushed my way through to him, ignoring their squeals.

"Hey Hummel, where were you for our beach party? The whole year was there but you."

He gave me a tentative smile - did he really still think I was out to get him? - then shook his head.

"I couldn't come. I've been working at St. Mungo's all summer, trying to get experience so they'll take me on when I finish Hogwarts."

"You want to be a healer?" I asked, somewhat surprised but not really sure why. I hadn't really thought about my future yet. It seemed too far away.

He nodded. "My… my mum…" He hesitated, looking unsure.

"She died, didn't she?" I said, quiet enough that the first years wouldn't hear.

"You brother died too, right?"

I froze, unprepared for the conversation to come back to me, then nodded stiffly. It seemed to help him, though, because he started speaking again almost straight away.

"I want to help people, like I saw the healers helping my mum. And… and there's this friend I have. Blaine. He finished Hogwarts last year, and now he's a junior healer. He says he can help me get in, and he's been looking out for me all summer."

I considered the broad, reminiscent smile on Kurt's face and cocked an eyebrow.

"Friend, huh?"

His smile instantly shifted and his cheeks turned red. I laughed aloud, then slowed my steps as I realised I'd reached the steps down to the dungeon.

"Alright, Hummel, I guess I'll see you around. You taking Transfiguration this year?"

"Yes."

"Tomorrow morning it is, then," I called as I started down the steps. Almost immediately I bumped into Karofsky.

"Wouldn't get too close to that one, Lopez. You might catch something," he jeered.

I opened my mouth to retort and found my throat was dry. I snapped it shut, giving him the best eye-roll I could manage as I marched past, my stomach churning with sudden fear.

One month later

I was fuming. How could she have kept this a secret? I knew she wanted to get me back for the last match, but - he was her boyfriend! I heard about him far more than I wanted to, but she hadn't mentioned he was on the quidditch team?

"Oi, listen to me!" I yelled, throwing a water bottle at Azimio and hitting him in the arm. He stopped joking with Karofsky and both turned to take in my scowl. "You two, you have to focus on Abrams. He's the unknown here, we need him out of the game."

Azimio frowned. "But what about Pierce? She's the one who's going to-"

"Are you the captain, or am I?" I snapped.

"…You. But-"

"Exactly. Do as I say. If you get him, aim for Hudson. We're going to win this by scoring like before. A bludger isn't going to stop Bri- …Pierce catching the snitch."

Azimio shrugged moodily and I rolled my eyes.

"Come on everyone, let's go!" I called, a clap of my hands sending them scurrying into lines, and we marched out onto the pitch.

I was nervous. I didn't like that our first match was against Hufflepuff, and I certainly didn't like that I'd found out about Artie being involved so late. My eyes snapped to him immediately as we walked towards our positions. His legs were somehow attached to his broom and he was already hovering - of course they would have to make special considerations for him.

Professor Beiste was standing ready, and I avoided Brittany's eyes as we went into position. She was probably ogling Artie anyway.

"A reminder to everyone that quidditch is a fair game, and you will all play fair!" she called out, looking mostly at the Slytherin team. Favouritism much?

The whistle blew and, as had been arranged, Puck dived in for the quaffle as I flew above ready to catch it. Our new chaser, a fourth year named Anna who showed surprising promise considering I'd never seen her fly before the trials, hovered ready to tackle in case the Hufflepuffs got the ball. I smirked when I saw Artie received a hefty elbow to his side, knocking him out of the way, but the smile fell straight off my face when the whistle blew again.

"Cobbing! Free throw to Hufflepuff!" Professor Beiste shouted.

Puck looked just as furious as I felt when he dropped the quaffle into Artie's waiting arms. Talk about special treatment! I mean, yes, it had technically been a foul. But we'd never been called out on cobbing before - well, except that one time when Jason's elbow had broken Finn's nose as he struggled to score.

I took a deep breath, and watched as Anna succeeded in tackling the chaser Artie had thrown to after only a few moments of play. I zoomed up to the goal just behind her where Finn was ready and waiting, but at the last moment she passed to me and I sent the quaffle straight through the unprotected left hoop.

"Ten-nil to Slytherin after that horrible foul! It should be docked!"

I thought I recognised Sugar's voice in the commentary that echoed around the stadium, but I had other worries as I watched Artie fly faster than I had been expecting down the pitch, scoring with ease.

"Yes! That's a goal for Hufflepuff, way to go, Artie!"

"You two, get on it!" I shouted at Karofsky and Azimio. They already had a bludger under control though, batting it between them to move it more accurately down the pitch. The Hufflepuff beater sent another bludger their way but Karofsky sent it straight back and they continued batting theirs with ease. Seeing that Puck and Anna had control of the quaffle again, I ignored that for now in favour of supervising this. Now he'd scored they could actually see how much of a threat he was, but I wasn't going to risk them messing it up. He was approaching from below.

"Now!" I called, and Azimio sent the bludger spinning down in the direction of Artie. It was fast, and it was going to knock him out of the game for sure. For a moment I felt a little guilty, because Brittany was going to be upset. Then there was a flash of blonde, and a crack that echoed around the entire stadium.

She was falling. I was frozen, in too much shock from seeing the bludger collide directly with the side of her head, but she was still falling, and I gathered my wits enough to plummet down after her. Someone cast a hovering charm to stop her crashing into the ground, but the closer I got - oh god, there was so much blood! I stumbled off my broom and over to her as she was gently lowered to the grass, but even as I knelt down I realised I had no idea what to do.

"B-Brittany?" I whispered. "Britt, you gotta wake up…" I reached out to try and wipe away some of the dark liquid that covered the entire side of her face, but a hand snatched mine back at the last minute just as Madam Pillsbury appeared and began clearing away the blood.

"You… w-what…"

I couldn't speak properly. I couldn't look away. All around I could hear the buzz of conversation, and I was vaguely aware that above me the other players had stopped moving, but it was just Brittany. Brittany, unconscious, covered in blood. I gulped as I saw some trickle down her face and tried to reach out again, but whoever was behind stopped me.

"She… her mouth, the blood… 's gonna get in," I mumbled, pulling weakly against the hold on me. I'd never seen so much blood before. Her quidditch uniform was ruined, the yellow fabric stained dark. It was in her hair as well, matting it into red stickiness. I blinked away the tears that were forming, forcing them away so that I could see clearly.

"You can't touch her, you'll make it worse."

Puck's voice? I didn't really care. I tugged against him anyway but he wouldn't let me get any closer. I wanted to turn around and bury my head in his chest so I wouldn't have to see, but… no, that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to turn around and bury my face into Brittany. There were other teachers around now, and I realised Brittany was being lifted with another hovering charm. I jerked to my feet, knocking against Puck.

"W-where are you taking her? Is she gonna be alright?" I asked, looking from Professor Beiste to Madam Pillsbury to Professor Schuester and finally back to Brittany, barely hearing what they were saying about the Hospital Wing. I tried to follow, but Puck pulled me back again.

"-finish the game."

I blinked, then spun around to look at him.

"…Finish it?" I repeated. "I can't. I have to go after her."

"You can't, they need space. We need to finish the game." I shook my head, turning to look for Brittany again, but he moved to step in front of me, blocking my view. "You're captain, Santana. We need you in the air, even if you don't play. Come on. Just get back on your broom. Brittany will be fine."

"You… you don't know that…" I mumbled.

"I do. I heard them talking, it's probably just a little skull fracture, Madam Pillsbury will fix her in no time."

I felt sick at the mention of 'skull fracture' and closed my eyes. He wouldn't let me, though, and shook me by the shoulders.

"Santana, get yourself together! Britt wouldn't want you falling apart like this. She wouldn't want you to risk your captaincy. Get back on your broom."

I felt something pushed into my hand. I blinked a few times, then realised it was my Nimbus. Slowly, I mounted it. I looked across at Puck and he nodded encouragingly, mounting as well. I pushed off the ground and followed him slowly back up to the sky. We were back in our starting positions - with one obvious gap. Professor Beiste's whistle blew, but I didn't make a move for the quaffle. Instead I rose up, above the height of the stadium so I could see three figures on the path to the castle - two walking quickly, the other horizontal and floating.

I didn't follow the rest of the match. I just knew it went on for too long. Our seeker was as useless as always. I heard the cheers that signified the sighting of the snitch and refocused long enough to see his failure to catch it before tuning out again. Brittany was long out of sight, but I stayed where I was, just in case someone came back with news.

I realised there was cheering again and opened my ears to it just in time to hear Sugar's commentary.

"Slytherin win two hundred to thirty, in the most unfair game in the…"

He voice trailed away as I set off in the first burst of speed I'd had since getting back on my broom. I didn't bother going to the ground, but instead went straight over the stadium walls and flew as fast as I could towards the castle. Towards Brittany…

"No."

"But-"

"No buts, Santana! Brittany will be fine-"

"If she's fine why can't I go see her?" I shouted, resisting the urge to hex Professor Schuester as he blocked my entrance to the Hospital Wing.

"She needs to recover, and will not be awake for some time anyway-"

"What? Why not?"

"She has been placed in a temporary state of sleep to give her body time to rest and-"

"State of sleep?" I yelped, dread running through my body again. My hands were shaking and my breathing was getting faster. That was what they'd done to Tony a few times. They called it sleep, but it wasn't really. It was unconscious. The last time they'd tried it, he hadn't woken up.

"Santana, if you do not calm down I will have to fetch Professor Sylvester! Brittany has to rest! You cannot do anything, so go to your common room. Celebrate your win," he added in a dry tone.

That really did make me want to hex him. Did he really think I liked winning like this? I spun away before I could do something I'd regret, turning the corner and running into a hobbling Artie.

"You! What kind of boyfriend are you, letting Brittany take that hit for you?" I demanded, shoving him backwards. His eyes widened and he stumbled into the wall.

"Is she okay?" he muttered.

"They won't fucking let me in to see! And it's your fault, you shouldn't have let her get in the way like that!" I yelled, pushing past him.

"You're the one who sent the bludger," he murmured.

I whipped my wand out and sent a curse flying in his direction. It missed, singing the edge of a tapestry, but he still looked suitably terrified. "Fuck off!" I shrieked, storming down the corridor and then down the steps. I was about to head down the steps to the dungeons when I paused, and instead moved towards the Hufflepuff common room. My fingers tapped out the rhythm on the barrels from muscle memory, which was fortunate because my head was not in the right place to actually think about that right now. I walked swiftly in, ignoring the sudden glares sent my way as I pushed past anyone who got in my way and entered Brittany's dorm.

Lord Tubbington was still confined to this room until he got older because Brittany was worried he'd get lost, but I couldn't leave him here without her. He meowed plaintively when I scooped him up and cradled him against my chest, pushing the door open and moving back down the short corridor only to come face to face with Finn Hudson, who was frowning down at me and still in his quidditch uniform.

"Santana, we don't think you should come here anymore," he said loudly. A murmur of agreement swept around the room and I took a step closer, meeting his eyes with a glare of my own.

"Oh really?"

He nodded, a little hesitantly. "Really. It's your fault Brittany's hurt and- Ah!" he yelped as I delivered a swift kick to his shin, and I tried to contain my fury.

"You really think I'd want to take a step inside here if not for Brittany? Don't flatter yourself, Hudson. If you're looking for someone to blame, what about your own beaters, huh? They're the ones meant to protect Brittany, and Merlin knows she's your most valuable player. You should have them circling her 24/7," I snapped, sending a scowl at one of the beaters I noticed to my right, then pushing my way past Finn.

"Well, you… you still can't come in here!" he called after me.

I slammed the door shut behind me, making the barrels rattle a little, and finally made my way to the Slytherin common room.

They were there. Gathered around the fireplace, muttering to each other. Except they weren't really muttering - they were too big and troll-like to do anything actually quietly. I held the kitten close to me as I marched forward, wand ready. Karofsky noticed me first and patted Azimio on the shoulder just as I sent out the first bolt of magic, knocking both of them to the floor.

"What the fuck was that?" I screamed, already trembling again as my rage swelled up at the sight of them. "Do you take joy in directly disobeying my instructions? I explicitly said to ignore Brittany and go after Artie and Finn, but no, you're too fucking stupid to even get that right!"

"Hey, hey, we did what you said, it was meant to go at Abrams!" Karofsky protested, trying to climb to his feet. More magic cut the side of his face and sent him straight back down again with a gasp.

"Well your aim is fucking off!"

"Well you were wrong about her catching the snitch at least," Azimio snorted.

My anger bubbled, and a spurt of magic from my wand made him gasp, then moan aloud as large, painful boils suddenly erupted all over his face. The kitten squirmed against my hold and I was forced to withdraw my wand from pointing at the pair to get a better hold on it.

"You're off the team, Azimio." My gaze shifted to Karofsky. He remained silent, staring up at me. The cut on his face was bleeding slightly. He hadn't been the one to send the bludger at Brittany. He hadn't questioned my orders. I turned away without another word to him, walking through the hushed audience that parted for me. I had only gone up a few steps towards my dorm when the silence broke and I heard a babble of excited voices start up.

2 days later

I sighed, reaching out for the fourth time as Lord Tubbington attempted to crawl into the fire. This cat I'd bought Brittany was the stupidest animal I'd ever met. I'd caught him trying to climb out of the window yesterday. And he ate constantly - nothing ever seemed to fill him up, and every few hours he'd start meowing for more food. I'd tried to just give him bigger portions, but it never seemed to help. Luckily I'd been able to get his food from the kitchens, since the Hufflepuffs wouldn't let me in their common room at the moment. He began trying to hike up my leg instead, and I didn't bother to stop him. It was probably the least dangerous thing he'd tried all day.

"Hey Santana!"

I twisted my head to locate the excited voice to see Puck hurrying over from the common room entrance.

"It's Brittany!"

I was alert immediately, scooping up Lord Tubbington into my arms again - had he really got heavier in the space of two days? - and turning properly towards Puck.

"What is it? Is she okay?"

"She's awake! I just overheard Professor Schue talking with Professor Beiste- Oh, okay," he muttered as I dropped Lord Tubbington into one of his hands and rushed past him.

"Thanks Puck!" I remembered to call out before leaving the common room, running as fast as I could towards the Hospital Wing. Why had nobody told me sooner?

With no Professor Schuester this time it was easy to push through the doors to the Hospital Wing and locate Brittany in one of the end beds at the other side of the room. I ran forward again, slowing to a walk when I saw that she was indeed awake, sitting up and eating an orange, her head bandaged. She noticed me and her face lit up, dropping the orange and her arms reaching out. I fell into them, careful not to knock her head and unable to stop all the tears gathering in my eyes from falling.

"Hey, hey Santana, don't cry!" she protested, wiping them away from one cheek as I sniffled against her shoulder. "I'm okay, I promise!"

"You… you got hit so hard," I mumbled into her, trying to subtly wipe away the other tears against her shoulder even as more fell. "And there was so much blood!" I gasped, the image of Brittany unconscious on the grass coming back to me with full force. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tighter. She hummed quietly as I struggled to contain my crying, stroking her fingers through my hair and helping me wipe away the tears with her other hand.

"So… so you're really okay?" I sniffed, finally pulling my head away from her to examine her properly. Purple and yellow bruises littered the side of her face and the bandages were thick, blocking from sight the area I'd seen hit.

"I'm really okay. My head hurts, but I have potions to help with that, and Madam Pillsbury says she'll take the bandages off tomorrow and I should be able to leave."

I nodded, finally finishing my examination of her injuries to meet her eyes. Impulsively I leaned in, planting a gentle kiss on the side of her forehead that wasn't covered up. My lips hovered over her skin for a moment, then lowered to kiss her cheekbone as well. I heard a quick inhalation of breath and her hand tightened around mine, but just as I was moving further down again I heard a call from behind and immediately pulled back.

"Brittany, you're okay!"

It would be him. Of course it would be him. Brittany's eyes were still on me, though. I pulled back, quickly wiping away any remnants of tears that might be on my face so he wouldn't see them.

"I have Lord Tubbington. And I've been looking out for Chloe, as well. I'll go find her, let her know you're awake," I muttered, breaking the eye contact to pull my hand from hers.

"Thank you, Santana," she called after me as I backed away, knocking against Artie as I did so. He sent me a badly concealed glare before stepping forward to take my place. I watched as he kissed her on the lips, just like I'd been planning to do only a few seconds before, then turned away. I couldn't watch them together. Just over a month back at Hogwarts, and I still hadn't done anything useful to show her I felt differently now. I was too much of a coward.

I caught sight of another blonde and I stopped short when I realised Quinn was standing by the entrance to the Hospital Wing. She waved at Brittany, then walked out with me. We were silent for several long moments until she finally spoke up, in a voice so quiet I had to strain to hear her.

"Why don't you tell her?"

A chill ran through my body.

"Tell her what?" I replied in a tight voice.

"That you love her."

I couldn't help but glance up the corridor and behind me to check no one had heard, even though Quinn was speaking so quietly it was difficult for me to hear.

"You're crazy, Quinn. I told you to drop this last year. Just 'cause your thing with Matt fell through, no need to try and set up the rest of us," I told her, also staying quiet. I could see her rolling her eyes as I replied.

"Please, you've been pining over her ever since she got with Artie. Even more so since the start of the year - and at the beach, too."

My whole body was buzzing and I didn't know what to do. Was I really that obvious? Did everyone know? No, because if they did then Brittany would know too.

"We're just friends," I managed to retort.

She laughed. "I know, and you hate it."

I stopped, checking the corridor again before turning to glare at her.

"What are you trying to do, Fabray?"

She sighed. "I'm trying to help you, Santana. It may be an alien concept to you, but I care about you, and Brittany. She deserves to know how you feel."

I let out a quiet groan of frustration. "Q, even if I did for whatever reason start crushing on Britt - which I'm not, by the way - I couldn't tell her. She has Artie. And what about everyone else? I don't want to be the laughing stock of the school. I won't be. So drop it, okay?"

I turned and began to walk away, hating myself. I wanted to talk about it. I really, really did. Even if not with Brittany, with someone, but… I still couldn't say it out loud. That had been the perfect opportunity, and I was almost certain that she knew, and yet still I couldn't say it, I had to deny everything. She didn't understand how hard it was.