Theme song for this chapter: watch?v=7jyG3MCdNbw

Chapter 23: Misconceptions

October, Sixth Year

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, Santana, I promise! Go to class!"

She bit her lip, glancing over her shoulder in the direction of the Charms classroom then back at me. I'd had to stay an extra day in the Hospital Wing, and she'd been stuck to me since the moment I'd been discharged, even coming into my classes that she wasn't registered for. But now she had her own class, and was refusing to go.

"Santana, you need to go. You have a test. I can't come in. Go," I ordered as firmly as possible. "You're going to be late! I don't want you to fail your test because of me, please, go!"

My head twisted to the side at the same time as hers when a bang echoed down the corridor. A small puff of yellow smoke was rising from where a Gryffindor boy was lying on the floor. Karofsky came barrelling down the corridor a few seconds later, laughing loudly. I glanced back at Santana and was surprised to see her looking almost scared for a moment, before she turned her attention back to me.

"What if you black out or something? She said that might happen while you're on that potion-"

"Very rarely. I'll go find Artie, okay? If something happens he'll take me back to the Hospital Wing."

A flash of a scowl crossed her face and she unsuccessfully tried to hide it, but now she didn't really have anything to argue against. Besides, she seemed kind of half-hearted in her arguments now.

"I… okay, I'll go. But Artie needs to come find me if something happens, okay?"

She was backing up regretfully, but she knew as well as I did that she was probably already late, and after a few seconds she finally turned and hurried away towards Kurt had just been knocked over and was now struggling to his feet. I watched until she followed him round the corner, just so I could be sure she wasn't about to change her mind and rush back to me, then turned to head to the library. I hadn't really spent much time with Artie since the accident. Santana had been around so much and I thought she'd been avoiding him. Plus the other Hufflepuffs didn't like her at the moment, but it wasn't her fault I got hurt.

I found him easily enough, right next to the Magical Creatures bookcase. He jumped up as soon as he saw me – well, he tried to, but his legs made it a bit difficult – and hurried over to hug me, kissing me on the cheek.

"How are you feeling?" he asked straight away, his eyes flicking to the top of my head. The bruises had almost completely disappeared now and only a small cut remained.

"I'm fine, Artie. You're as bad as Santana," I joked.

He frowned. "Well it's because of Santana that I don't know. I've barely seen you since you got hurt," he complained, walking with me back to the table he was at and closing the book he'd been reading.

"Oh no, I don't want you to stop studying because of me!" I protested, not really sure how to reply to his comment on Santana. I knew he was kind of right, but I didn't want to agree because she was just looking out for me. "I should study too probably."

"No, no, I want to spend time talking with you!" he replied, pushing the book to the side. "How long have I got before Santana swoops in and takes you away again?" He was speaking in a jokey tone, but I could tell he was actually serious.

I shrugged uncomfortably. "She's in Charms. She's just looking out for me, and since she can't come in the Hufflepuff common room at the moment it's just easier to stay in Slytherin. I'm sorry, Artie, I'm not trying to avoid you," I assured him, reaching out to take his hands.

He shook his head. "Oh, don't worry, I know. It's not your fault. I guess she's just feeling a bit guilty and wants to make it up to you. It's fine, I get you now," he added with a smile, squeezing my hands lightly.

I was frowning, though, not quite understanding what he had said. "Guilty?" I repeated.

"Yeah?"

"Well why would she be guilty? She hasn't done anything wrong."

It was his turn to frown. "Has she really kept you from hearing?"

"Hearing what, Artie?" I asked, suddenly nervous. I didn't mean to snap, but it came out like that anyway. I didn't like hearing things about Santana secondhand. Especially when those things were apparently bad.

He squeezed my hands a little tighter and looked me straight in the eye. "She's the one who sent that bludger at me."

I shook my head immediately. "No, it was Azimio. She kicked him off the team, she told me."

"Yeah, because he hit you instead. But she's the one who ordered it. Derek heard her shout 'now' just before Azimio sent the bludger, and him and Karofsky were batting it between them before that with her nearby. She's… look," he said, reaching up a hand to gently touch my cheek. I stared back at him, not sure how I was meant to react to this. "I know you don't like hearing this. But… I figured you'd want to know. Right?" he checked.

I nodded mutely, even though I wasn't really sure, because he sounded so worried he'd done something wrong. But he hadn't. He'd done everything right. But… would Santana really have done that?

"I… I don't want to talk about Santana," I said quietly after a short pause. I forced a smile onto my face. "I want to talk about you. Have you done anything fun I've missed?"

He seemed uncertain – he was getting better at working out when my smiles weren't real – but nodded and came up with a similar smile.

"Sure. I helped Becky sneak into the elf kitchens last night. I was out after curfew because… uh, well, I was looking for you. But I found her lost in the dungeons, and she said she got hungry but didn't have any food. So I showed her the way to the kitchen – we almost got caught by Professor Sylvester! I heard her yelling at some other kid though, so I managed to hide us behind a suit of armour except then it started walking down the corridor!"

I covered my mouth with my hand so I wouldn't interrupt his story with my giggling. Artie could always make me smile even when I was feeling really down. It was one of the things I loved most about him. I just wasn't quite sure whether I loved him.

"This is nice," Santana sighed as she settled into the warm, bubbly water, sinking underneath the surface for a moment to get her hair wet. "Have I mentioned how glad I am that we don't have to blackmail prefects for the password now?"

"Lots."

I gave her a small smile and turned away when she popped up a little too much out of the water so I wasn't tempted to look. She never used to be like this. She always stayed under the bubbles and purposely looked away from me, like I was doing now. She'd changed, though. Ever since the start of this year; she'd become more confident, or something like that. But it made things harder.

I lifted my arms up to lie on the edge of the tiles, resting my chin lightly on top of my wrist and staring across the room. The mermaid in the mosaic was performing intricate jumps and spins over the surface of the sea in her picture. I could almost feel Santana's eyes on me, but I didn't want to turn around. I wanted time to think. I wished I could have that away from her, but she wouldn't give me enough space for that. I needed to try and work out if what Artie had said was true. I knew he thought it was – he wouldn't lie to me – but maybe he was just confused. Maybe he'd got it wrong.

I tensed the moment I felt a hand on my back. Her fingers slipped under a layer of hair to trace lightly up my spine and rest on the back of my neck. What was she doing? I was trying to think.

"What is it?" she whispered, her breath hitting my ear.

I pressed closer to the side of the pool when I felt her get closer, but her body brushed up against my back anyway. I turned my head further away from her, but goosebumps still rose all over my body when her other hand slid up my arm to gently brush the side of my face.

"Brittany."

Her fingers slipped under my chin and pressed lightly at the other side of my jaw. Reluctantly I turned my head to look at her. She was closer than I thought. The hand on my face shifted up to run through my hair, and the other on my neck pressed down slightly, urging my face closer. I stared at her, trying to work out what she was doing, but she wasn't meeting my eyes. She was looking down, and leaning in, and-

"Santana!"

I stumbled away from her the moment her lips brushed mine, breaking out of her hold. My heart was racing and I didn't know what to do. I spun so I didn't have to look at her and so she couldn't look at me. Why had she done that?

"Britt… Brittany, come on, it was just-"

"Just what?" I demanded. My voice came out high-pitched – almost a squeak. "Is it true?" I asked suddenly when she didn't reply. "About the bludger?" My words were rushed. But she wasn't going to give me any time to think and give her the benefit of the doubt, so I just had to ask.

"W-what do you mean?"

My heart sank. I could tell just from those words that Artie had been right. There was no chance that Santana wouldn't know what people were saying about her.

"You ordered them to send it at Artie," I whispered, more for my benefit than hers. I didn't understand.

"No, I didn't-"

"Don't lie!"

I twisted in the water again to find her looking so obviously guilty and it made me even angrier. Was she really trying to lie about this to me? We didn't lie to each other!

"Why'd you do it?" I asked, trying to keep calm. I didn't want to shout at her, I just wanted to understand. But the thought of Artie getting hurt like I had been just kept popping up in my head. Why would she do that? Didn't she know it would hurt me too?

Her expression tightened and she looked up at me properly.

"Because I didn't know how good he was and it made sense tactically to get him out of the game."

I was rolling my eyes before she'd even finished. How could she think I'd accept that? Just because I didn't know much about tactics didn't mean I couldn't work out how ridiculous her excuse was. She just didn't like Artie. She never had.

"That's not a proper reason! You're… you're pathetic!" I accused, my voice squeaking again. Her face fell, but at that moment I didn't care that it was a nasty thing to say. How could she have done that? "Artie's my boyfriend and you can't stop me seeing him just because you don't like him! I can't believe you'd try and hurt him because of that – Finn's right, it is your fault I got hurt!"

She was shaking her head but I turned away again, scrabbling at the edge of the pool to pull myself out. She grabbed my wrist and I tried to pull away, shaking her off.

"Britt, please, just listen-"

"Get off me!" I yelled. I tried to stand but my foot slipped in a puddle and I fell, my knee cracking on the tiles loudly. Pain shot through it and I gasped, my hands slapping down on the floor to try and steady myself.

"Brittany, are you okay? Talk to me, please, tell me you're okay!"

I nodded stiffly and heard the slosh of water as she climbed out behind me. A few moments later a large, fluffy towel settled around my back.

"I'm fine," I muttered, turning my head away. I found the corner of the towel and pulled it tighter around me. I wanted to stay angry at her, I didn't want her to look after me. She'd tried to hurt Artie. It wasn't right.

"Britt, I'm sorry. I was an idiot, I shouldn't have done it. I'll be nice to him. You just… you don't understand."

"Understand what?" I snapped, my voice shaking a little.

"Why… why I…"

She trailed off, and I sat up a little to look at her properly, keeping the towel securely around me. At least she'd grabbed one for herself as well.

"You can't kiss me. You can't do that and act like it's nothing, because it's not. It was never nothing to me. Okay?"

She nodded mutely, her eyes focused on the damp tiles beneath us.

"Why did you do it? Why'd you send it at him?" I asked again, a little more gently. I never had been able to stay angry at her for long. I was sure it was just because she didn't like me spending time with him instead of her, or something like that. But I had to ask. Just in case it was because she was jealous. I didn't know what I'd do if she was, but I had to ask. "It wasn't tactics, that makes no sense, so just… tell me."

She squeezed her eyes shut and for a moment I dared to hope.

"I can't." She said it so quietly I could barely hear her. "I… I want to, but I can't. I can't explain. Not yet. I'm sorry." Her words were halting, and she still wouldn't look at me. I wasn't even sure what she was trying to say. "Soon. I promise, soon."

I stared at her, trying to work out the meaning behind her words. A part of me wanted to jump up and down in joy because what she was saying sounded so hopeful. But, I wasn't sure I wanted to hope. Hoping but never getting anything hurt too much.

I walked back to the Slytherin common room alone. I wanted to stay next to Brittany, and make sure she was okay, but she'd been adamant about spending time with Artie and after everything she'd said, I hadn't thought it a good idea to argue.

I wanted to kick myself. Basically everything I'd said had been the wrong thing. Even at the end, when she'd given me the perfect opportunity to just tell her how I felt, I'd been too much of a coward. Now she probably thought I was crazy after how much I'd babbled on about 'sorry' and 'soon', not making any sense.

I didn't stop in the common room when I got there. I waved across at Puck once when he called to me but I didn't go over. I just went straight to the stairs and up. I didn't want to talk to anyone right now. I wanted to be alone, and try and work out how on earth I was going to keep that promise to Brittany that I'd tell her soon when I still couldn't even say it aloud on my own. I shut the door to my dorm quietly and started towards my bed, planning to pull the curtains closed around me so I wouldn't be bothered, but I stopped short when I saw Brittany standing in the middle of the room, scowling at me.

"What… Britt? Why are you here? I thought you were going to see Artie."

She took three quick steps forward until she was standing right in front of me, the scowl still fixed on her face.

"I'm really upset with you, Santana."

My eyes widened and I took a step back. I'd thought we were okay after I'd promised to treat Artie better. She closed the distance between us again.

"You're pathetic. You won't even admit how you feel because you're too scared."

My mouth dropped open and I stumbled further back until I hit a bedpost. She walked forward slowly, still talking.

"Santana the coward. Santana the bitch. Santana the slut."

I had no power to stop the tears spilling down my cheeks. I closed my eyes, trying to stem them and block out the sight of Brittany scowling down, but it didn't help. Her sweet, innocent voice continued spilling out all these horrible things I couldn't believe she was saying.

"No one here actually likes being your friend, y'know. Puck just wants sex. I mean, that's all I wanted for ages, until you started getting too touchy-feely and I had to find a real boyfriend before people started thinking I was just as much as a freak as you are. You just won't leave me alone, though. Why won't you leave me alone, Santana?"

"W-what did I do? I'm sorry, Britt. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but p-please stop," I stammered, risking opening my eyes again. Her blonde hair fell wildly around her face, and I'd never seen her look so angry before. I didn't want to believe it was her saying these things, but… there she was. There was no doubt it was her. She raised her hands high above her head.

"Everything! You followed me around when we were kids all the time when I just wanted to be alone. When Tony died you got even more obsessed, it was ridiculous! And then the sex started and you got this crazy idea I was in love-"

"B-but you said-"

"I said it to get rid of you! And now you think you're in love too and it's even worse. You got so jealous of Artie that you sent me to the Hospital Wing for a few days so I couldn't see him! It's crazy, Santana!"

"No! No, that's not what it was!" I objected. I shook my head furiously, causing a few of the tears to drop from my face. I shifted to the side of the bedpost so I could start walking backwards again, towards the door. I had to get away. I couldn't face this. I didn't know how. She followed me though.

"You need to stop! You need to stop following me around, I hate it! I hate you!"

My back hit a wall and I only realised I'd gone past the door when it opened and Rachel stepped through. Brittany looked over as well, and… changed. One moment she was Brittany, the next she was a tomato flying at Rachel. The tomato hit her straight in the face and I would have laughed if I hadn't been in so much shock. Suddenly the sound of jeering filled the room.

"Boo!"

"Get off the stage!"

More fruit and vegetables spun towards Rachel as she struggled to get out her wand, and I couldn't do anything but watch. I didn't understand, I was so confused. Where had Brittany gone? I wasn't upset that she'd stopped shouting, but what if she was hurt? Had Rachel done something to her?

"Riddikulus!"

The food exploded into glitter and Rachel laughed once, scooping it all up with her wand and sending it into the drawer in her bedside table, which started rattling the moment it was closed. The smile dropped straight off her face when she turned back to me.

"Santana? Are you okay?"

She stepped closer and I straightened my legs, wiping hastily at my cheeks. She looked ridiculous, with fruit juices trickling down her face, but that didn't help.

"It's okay, it was just a boggart-"

"Yeah well I figured that!" I snapped. I could feel myself shaking, and I hated it because I knew she could see it too.

"You know she doesn't hate you, of course she doesn't."

"Yeah I know," I muttered. "Stop with the sentimental shit. And don't even think of telling people about this," I warned, sending her a quick glare before turning to enter the bathroom and slam the door shut behind me. The moment it was closed, I let out a gasping breath as I tried to take in that everything that had just happened. She didn't hate me. She didn't, there was no way. I sank to the ground, not bothering to move away from the door and just sliding down it. A few more stray tears escaped.

I couldn't wait much longer. I couldn't keep it all inside me; I was going to explode. I had to find a way to tell her, and soon; just like I'd promised. I knew she didn't hate me. I was certain of that, even if the boggart had made me question it for a few moments. But did she still love me?