So, this story after careful consideration, has decided to turn into a Sirius x Winnie story (Swinnie?) I know that not all of you will be happy with this decision and I'm okay with that. To all the ones who have been shipping Swinnie since day one. Here you go! At first I was not going to turn it into a Swinnie story I felt like their personalities were too different and I was eventually going to make James the one for her. But, then I realised. James was a lot like her, which was why they were perfect for each other - platonically! They were so adorable in a way that I never wanted to ruin with something as intense as love.

So when I was re-reading my work. I realised something. I noticed that Swinnie's relationship had REALLY developed over time into something spectacular. At first, they were always annoyed at each other, but then when they started connecting, really connecting - their relationship progressed from a normal friendship to an emotional connection which I really loved. I feel like together they balanced each other out, they complimented each other in strange ways but good ways. I just, I really love them together. I feel like this is right. I hope you do too.

Chapter 29

"This is awkward." James said mostly to himself. "Yeah, you know what. This is really awkward, I'm going to leave now." he said and quickly stepped out of the room, shutting the door behind him. If it was awkward with James in the room, it was nothing compared to how it was now.

I bit my lip and then turned to him. Sirius and I looked at each other, unsure of what to say. The once comfortable silence was gone, now replaced with an awkward tension in the air. He looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't. So I had to take the initiative and ask.

"So- you - eh, fancy me?" I asked unsurely. I didn't know why I felt so satisfied, maybe it was the fact that he liked me and not the other way around, maybe it was because this was Sirius Black, the one everyone pined for. He didn't fancy all the other girls who lusted after him, who would literally jump at him, he liked me - which was strange to admit but also incredibly satisfying at the same time.

Sirius tilted his head and gave me a look that was stating the obvious. He then said, "As someone who is very observant, you're blind when it comes to love aren't you?"

"L-love?" I choked. "What love - I thought you liked me, not loved me." My heart was accelerating, and I could feel goosebumps appear on my arms. I wasn't sure how I managed to utter that sentence without wanting to run far away from here. Some people got butterflies in their stomach, but it felt more like a parade happening in my stomach.

Sirius stood up, "Of course I love you, I've always loved you." he said as if it was obvious. "You've always known that." I wasn't sure if he was referring to the years of friendship we had shared or if he was talking about actual love. I wasn't going to ask.

I felt my face burn, "Oh, oh. Wow. I need to take a seat. No, never mind. I'm going to stand." I said, running a hand through my hair, "You - I, okay. When did you, um, wow. This is weird."

Sirius suddenly laughed out loud, "I thought it was obvious. I mean, everyone knows. Everyone except you, of course."

My head snapped up, "Everyone what?! What do you mean everyone knows? Why would they know? How would they know? Who told them? Was it Wormtail?" I said, narrowing my eyes.

"Sometimes people can see more than you can," Sirius smiled, "You know, it's kind of a relief. Now that you know, it doesn't feel like it's such a burden to carry anymore. Do you know how hard it is to be around you? I had to literally stop myself from kissing you." He said, laughing.

My jaw almost fell off my mouth and hit the floor, "Do I - what? It's hard to be around me? Have you seen you? You're flawless, with your eyes and your face- " It then hit me with a full force, "Oh my - Sirius, you really like me, don't you? Merlin just slice up my body right now and use it as bait. I just, wow. I don't understand. Why?"

Sirius smiled with his teeth, at my analogy. "Come on, Win. There are plenty of reasons why. But let me tell you the number one reason." he said and then I noticed how close he was standing to me. "You're the only one who sees me as a person, not a prize."

"You're not a prize, you're a person." I said, gulping and avoiding his gaze. It was awkward enough that moments ago he was confessing his love to me but now he was standing so close, I didn't want him to see my red face.

"Are you blushing?" He asked and I could practically feel him laughing.

"No, it's allergies." I said, coughing to prove my authenticity.

"Oh, is that right? What are you allergic to?"

"Love confessions." I said shortly.

I could hear him laugh and he gently grabbed my chin and lifted it so we could meet eye-to eye. I immediately felt my face heat up and I could see his grey eyes sparkling from amusement.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" He said, knowing the answer to that question.

I clenched my jaw, annoyed at how patronising he sounded. "No, you're not." I said, standing up straight. "Fine, let me tell you the truth. Sirius Black, because honestly from time- to- time I have felt things for you and I do love you but I don't know if I love you in a love way, but yes you are kind of cute and you do have nice eyes," I said quickly. "Do you understand?"

Sirius chuckled, "Not really," He then raised a brow at me. "I feel like there's more that you want to say."

I laughed awkwardly, "There's loads I want to say, it's just I don't know how to say it. I mean, no one's ever told me they loved me before. How do you do it? I mean girl's practically confess their love to you on a daily basis."

He pushed the sleeves of his shirt up and crossed his arms, "Well," he said, a arrogant grin on his face. "I usually just compliment them and say thank you, I find that it's the kindest way to reject someone." I could practically imagine him doing that.

"That's really smart, how did you come up with that?" I asked, laughing. He had somehow destroyed the awkward tension in the air, I didn't know how he always managed to do that, but he did, with such ease - it made me jealous.

He rubbed the back of his neck, "Hmm, let's just say it was a trial and error kind of thing. You know what? I can still remember the first time someone confesed to me, it was in first year. It was the second week, Kelly Ulder - the hufflepuff girl -"

I cut him off with a gasp, "No way! Kelly Ulder? The girl who always glares at you when she sees you? She hates you so much! Remember when she tried to start a rumor about you having lice! That was until your fan club got her. Now, she's practically invisible." I said, with a slight shudder.

He nodded, laughing. "Yeah, I know. So, like I was saying. Kelly Ulder and I had Herbology together and she confessed to me and you know what I said to her?"

I shrugged, "Would you like me to make you a sweater made of my hair?" I said, jokingly.

"No," He said laughing inwardly, "I looked at her and loudly exclaimed, I don't like boys!"

My eyes widened as I took in what he had just said, I put my hand over my mouth to cover the laughter that was practically pouring out of my body. I was laughing so hard, my rib cage was starting to pain me. I could not believe that had happened, I had never heard that story before. It was kind of nice. It made me see Sirius in a different light, a light I liked very much.

"You - I can't believe - That's," I went into a fit of giggles, "You actually said that to her?"

He howled with laughter, "Yeah, you wouldn't believe the look she gave me - she looked like she was going to murder me, she threw her textbook at me, I ducked just in time but it hit Harry Twingings, who now hates me."

I snorted, "Well, In your defence, she wasn't exactly a nice person. Especially to me. On the other hand, it might have had something to do with the fact that I was friends with you, now that I think about it." I said, laughing.

"You know what, it just might be because of that." He said sarcastically, "Sorry for ruining potential friendships with girls because of how attractive I am." Sirius said, laughing.

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, okay. Calm down there, Paddycakes. You're not that attractive, have you seen Dean Matthews? He's a metamorphagus! One day he's a blond, the other day he's a rainbow head. It's really cool."

Sirius looked insulted, "Dean Matthews? Are you suffering from acute blindness? He's not even that great, besides, he's a metamorphagus! He can change his looks so he's probably not that good looking in reality." He said, annoyed.

If he hadn't confessed to me I was certain that I would've probably brushed that comment off, but now that he had confessed to me I could very obviously see the jealousy on his face.

"Are you jealous?" I said, already knowing the answer to that question. It kind of made me want to laugh and cry, I wasn't sure which one.

He gave me a blank look, "No, I just bloody hate that guy." He lied.

I laughed and then put my hand on his shoulder, "Sirius, you have a great personality. Thank you for liking me." I said, looking serious but I was sure he could tell that I was joking.

"Thanks - hey, did you just use my method against me?" Sirius said, his eyes widening with realisation.

I decided to reply in a Sirius-like fashion, "Oh good, you picked that up. You need to keep up, love." I said with a blatant wink. It was a strange sensation to act like someone else, but it was also very fulfilling.

He looked taken aback, "I don't know why that was so attractive." he said, looking confused.

I tried to stop the blush that was trying to appear on my face and said, "It was because I acted like you, you bloody narcissistic prick." I said jokingly. "Hey, I dare you to act like me the whole day and I'll act like you. We can trick everyone into thinking we took polyjuice potion or something." I said, grinning with excitement. Anything to distract myself from what he had just said.

Sirius's eyes gleamed with mischief, "Well, spit in my cup and call it water," He said smiling, "You see what I did there? You know what, to make it more realisistic call me Winnie and I'll call you Sirius."

"We should switch clothes to make it more believable!" I said, jumping up and bouncing with excitement. "This is such a good idea," I said, happily.

"Winnie, love. If you wanted to see me naked, all you had to do was ask." Sirius said, smirking. He said, trying to annoy me.

My jaw almost broke off my face, "What - no! Sirius!" I said, groaning. "You're so annoying, I hate you. Ugh, if I wanted to see you naked, I would let you know!" I said, rolling my eyes. "You know what, never mind. Keep the clothes on. We're not doing this."

"Aw, no - that was supposed to be the fun part." He teased, a huge smile on his face. "You know I'm just kidding, Winnie. I just like seeing you riled up, you get this look on your face - it's priceless." He said and imitated my shocked look.

I rolled my eyes, "Shut up, Sirius. You're just jealous because you don't have any emotions. You're like an emotionless cup. Or a spoon. Something like that."

"Emotionless cup? I prefer that one, it has more depth." He tilted his head, "You're not mad at me, are you?" he said, pouting a little.

"Cups don't have depth! that's why they're cups!" I looked at his face and laughed at how he resembled a sad puppy, "No, I'm not mad you numpty. I do have a question though."

He ran a hand through his dark hair, "Yes, I do use a styling mousse to keep my hair in place." he said, laughing. I was not sure whether he was joking or not, because he honestly did have perfect looking hair and that would explain it.

I chortled, "No," I said pointedly. "Earlier you were saying how it was hard to be around me without wanting to kiss me. How are you, I don't know. Resisting now? Especially now that I know." I asked, honestly.

He laughed, "Winnie, whether you knew or not, I was not, I am not going to kiss you unless you're okay with it. I'm not going to force you into a relationship with me," he said, earnestly. I could tell.

His words made my heart clench. "Were you planning on ever telling me?" I asked, staring intently into his eyes.

Sirius sighed, "No. I wasn't going to tell you." He said, looking sheepish, as if I had caught him in a heinous, unspeakable act. Sirius certainly had a way of shocking me.

"Why not? Is it because I'm so intimidating?" I asked, humour intertwined in with my words. I wondered if I was actually intimidating, though I was sure that I was as intimidating as a tiny puppy.

I awaited his response, watching how expression change as my words hit him. Sirius's face brightened with my joke, a soft smile making it's way on to his face.

"I didn't want to ruin our friendship. I still don't, you're important to me. Among other people," he muttered the last part, probably just to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal but I could very obviously see that I was important to him, which I've always known. But it was always nice to hear it, once more.

I nodded, "Okay, fair enough. How long have you liked me?" I said, shifting my weight from one foot to another.

Sirius tugged on the collar of his shirt and I could tell that he didn't want to answer that question, his eyes scanned the room before he looked at meand said: "Listen, how about I ask you a question and then can you ask me one. The rules are," He said, leaning against the wall. "We have to be honest here, no bullshit, no lies. How does that sound?"

I nodded, feeling excitement beginning to form in my stomach. "Okay, only if you go first." I said, tying my hair into a ponytail.

"Fine, let me think of something." He scratched the back of his neck, "What are you most self-conscious about?"

I could feel my breathing constrict because I already knew the answer to that question, I didn't need to think about it. It was something I had thought about countless times. It was so stupid but I had promised him that I would be honest.

"This is kind of embarrassing but," My eyes downcast, "It's my teeth! They're so weird and small, they look weird. I hate them. I feel like everyone looks at my teeth and thinks, wow. Those are some small teeth." I said, honestly.

Sirius started to laugh, "Is that it? I expected something worse. I think your teeth match match your face. I had no idea you were self-conscious about that. It's weird how people are like that, huh?"

I shrugged, "I guess, okay - my turn. What is something you have never told anyone before?" I asked, inching forward eager to hear his response.

Sirius's exterior changed, I could see the change in his expression. He leaned forward, but said nothing. His eyes were staring intently at the chair that was across the room, obviously thinking deeply about my question.

He eventually spoke, "My biggest fear is being lonely." his eyes flickered to mine.

I tilted my head at him, "Don't you mean being alone?" I asked.

He shook his head, a pensive smile on his face. "No, I mean being lonely. I'm alright with being alone, in fact I think it can be beneficial at times. Being alone is where you decide you want to spend the day alone, just because you want to be. But being lonely is different, you don't choose to be lonely. You just are. You can be in a room full of people but still feel lonely. Do you know what I mean?" He asked, giving me a small smile.

I was mesmerised. His words had certainly blown me away and I was sure that I had never liked Sirius more than I liked him now. The past couple of months I had seen more of him than I had seen in the last five years. Before, it felt like our friendship was barely scratching the surface, but now I was being exposed to a part of Sirius I had never seen before. A true, raw version of him. I had never realised how deep and thoughtful he was. I wanted him to be like this, always.

I nodded, "Yeah, I really do." I said smiling back.

"So," he said rubbing his hands together excitedly, "My turn, is it? Lets see - Oh, I got a good one. Winnie Powers, if you had the power to turn into one of us for one day - who would you pick and why?" He said, grinning.

I laughed, "That is a very good question! Give me a minute to think about it," I drummed my hands against my thighs, "Oh, I know. I'd be Remus."

Sirius looked shocked, "I take extreme offence to that. You'd be Remus? Why? You wouldn't be me?" he said, jokingly.

I grinned, "Yeah! Remus is great, he's popular but not too popular. He's warm and smart. Plus he's friends with practically everybody and a lot of people trust him. He's a good person. It would be nice to be able to be live one day as a genuinely good person, for a change. You're great and all, but I feel like it would be too tiring to be you. No offence."

He gave me a strange look, "What do you mean? Why would it be tiring to be me?" he asked, he didn't have an angry expression on his face, but an expression of pure interest, but that didn't mean I wanted to tell him.

"Never mind, it's nothing." I said, not really wanting to tell him what I knew. "It's really not."

Sirius shook his head, giving me a blank look. "No, no tell me. Please. You're the only one who doesn't lie to my face, don't go starting now." he said, almost pleading me to be honest with him.

I sighed, "Because, well. It's not easy being you. Girls throw themselves at you, guys either hate your guts or just want to get close to you for popularity. Your family isn't the best and there's this pressure. This constant pressure to be perfect. You constantly have to pretend like you're fine, you always have to be happy. Sometimes I wonder how you handle it."

Sirius licked his lips, a thoughtful expression gracing his features. He was quite for a long time and I wondered if I had upset him. The same exact moment I was going to ask him if he was okay, he said:

"I don't. Handle it, I mean. Sometimes I do wish I could stop being Sirius Black. But there's nothing I can do. You were dead on the pressure thing, it used to bother me. But then I realised I didn't - I don't, give a damn what anyone thinks." he said, eyes flickering to me as he said the last sentence.

"How long have you liked me?" I asked, out of the blue.

His eyes narrowed at me in curiosity, "Why do you want to know so badly?" an amused smirk playing at his lips.

Before I could think up of a witty lie, my mouth spoke before I could process everything. "It makes me feel special." I spoke truthfully, the same second I plastered a hand across my mouth to keep myself from saying things like that, ever again.

He kept his gaze locked with mine, "You are special." he said, softly - in a way that made my heart pang.

I smiled because I knew if I spoke, or removed my hand I wouldn't be able to stop myself.