beckyboogle, thank you for your review - I'm really glad you're still enjoying the story. I'm worried it's starting to drag a bit, but I basically know where it's going!

Tanith Panic, I think it would take a lot for Connie to fall under anyone's spell! I like Dylan and Zoe's friendship too. I think Dylan is actually very supportive if you don't get caught up in the way he says things. I'm afraid The Holby One won't be freed just yet... thank you for your review.

CBloom2, Cal broke your heart? Well, isn't that just typical of him! Even now, when he's so upset and ill, he's still the Holby heartbreaker. Ethan's heart could be next to break... thank you for your review!

20BlueRoses, thank you for your review. Cal really isn't in a good state, but I'm sure he'll be calmer once Ethan is there. I didn't like Jacob at all at first, but I do like his relationship with Connie. I'm glad you like the way I write him - thank you! I really struggled with Jacob in this chapter.

ETWentHome, Zoe really does need help! I like her friendship with Dylan - they're very different, but it works. I'm enjoying exploring the different characters. Some are easier than others, but I think trying to understand them helps me to appreciate them even more. Thank you for your review.

Lofty almost didn't recognise her.

He was used to see her striding through the ED as though she owned the place – and she probably thought she did. If there were occasional moments of hesitation that proved she was human, they were quickly swept aside as she took control again.

This Connie Beauchamp was slow and unsure. Her hair, usually so elegant and perfectly in place, was tangled and crookedly parted.

Lofty was sure Connie wouldn't want him – or anyone else – to see her like this, but he couldn't walk away.

"Mrs Beauchamp," he said, walking towards her. "Can I… um… help with anything?"

"Get me a coffee and bring it to my office, please."

Lofty heard the tremor in her voice she was trying to hide beneath brusqueness. He also saw her smudged eyeliner. "Yes, Mrs Beauchamp."

By the time the coffee was made, Connie looked more like herself. Her hair was brushed and her make-up repaired. "Thank you, Lofty," she said.

She had many ways of thanking people. It was often a dismissal, but Lofty sensed it wasn't in this case. "Is there anything else I can do?" he said softly.

Connie raised her eyes and he was shocked to see they were full of tears. "I didn't push her," she said.

"Of course you didn't," said Lofty. He said the words as a statement of fact rather than an outpouring of sympathy. "No-one thinks that."

"She did," said Connie.

"Rita had a head injury," said Lofty gently. "She probably didn't know what happened."

Connie put her head in her hands. "I can't bear that she died thinking I hated her."

"Rita was overemotional sometimes," said Lofty. "But her gift was understanding how we really feel."

Connie stayed where she was for a moment, not moving. Lofty wanted to put his arm around her and comfort her. He felt instinctively that Connie wanted to be held, but he knew the comfort couldn't come from him. It might help her to feel a bit better now, but the knowledge that he'd outstepped the boundaries of his job would only cause her more suffering later on.

He stood silently, keeping his gaze lowered and waited for her to speak.

At last, Connie lifted her head. "Thank you, Lofty."

This time, it was a dismissal, but Lofty saw the gratitude too.

He nodded and left the room.

Honey didn't often feel intimidated by people. When she'd first arrived to work at the ED, she'd had no problems with walking up to everyone and introducing herself. The fact that a lot of the staff were doctors with medical degrees while she couldn't even boast a single GCSE didn't bother her in the slightest.

But now, sitting with a policeman and policewoman opposite her and Noel at her side, she felt terrified. She clasped her hands together in an effort to stop them from shaking and tried to move her chair a bit closer to Noel's. The chair leg made a shrill squeak as it moved across the floor and Honey cringed, the blood rushing to her face.

All she wanted to help Ethan. To help him get out of here and back to the ED where he belonged.

But she knew that kind words, cups of tea and telling the future wouldn't help, and what else did she have to offer?

Honey felt Noel shift slightly in his seat. He put his warm hand over both of hers. She looked up at him and he smiled. Honey had the feeling that if she wasn't being interviewed by the police, he might have winked.

She was still afraid. But her dad believed in her and that meant everything.

Louis was leaning against a wall, resting his arms on the top. His back was to Jacob and he didn't seem to have sensed his presence. He looked as though he was staring up at the cloud formations, but Jacob doubted he saw very much at all.

Jacob's footfalls were soft as he approached. He leaned on the wall too, also looking upwards.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Louis tense.

Jacob waited for Louis to speak. He was prepared to wait a long time.

"Did my dad send you?" said Louis, after some minutes had passed. He sounded defensive.

"No," said Jacob. "I wanted to know if you were still here."

"Well, now you know," said Louis belligerently. "So you can go now."

Jacob was silent as he looked up at the sky.

Louis' voice tightened. "Didn't you hear? You can go."

"I heard you," said Jacob. "But I don't want to go."

Louis' face twisted. "I suppose you want to be the big hero who gets me back in the hospital and reconciled with my dad."

Jacob shook his head. "I do like playing the hero sometimes. But I would rather you went in by choice."

"I don't want to go in!" said Louis.

"Then why are you still here?" said Jacob, quietly curious. He could do aggressive when he wanted to, but he felt this wasn't the approach to take with Louis.

Louis shrugged. "I've got to be somewhere."

"But there are other places you could be. Like your home. Or the places you go to get your fix. But you're here."

There was a long pause, then Louis spoke. His voice was fierce. "I just want him to be all right!"

"If you went inside, you'd know if he was all right," said Jacob.

"I can't, okay?"

Jacob nodded understandingly. "But you're hoping that soon, you will be able to. That's why you're still here."

Louis' voice rose with frustration. "Stop putting words into my mouth!"

"Then why don't you tell me how you really feel?" said Jacob.

"Because I don't know how I feel," muttered Louis.

Zoe paced the corridor outside her room. She knew Dylan was right. She had to tell Max the truth.

But how could she do it? How could she say the words that would break his heart again?

It had been bad enough confessing it once. The shock on his face. The pain. The tears. Zoe couldn't bear to see that again.

"Have you told him yet?"

It was Robyn. Her usually-sweet face was fierce. Zoe shivered at the sight of it.

"I don't know how," she said.

"You don't know how to break my brother's heart?" Robyn was almost sneering. "You did a pretty good job of it last time."

Zoe flinched. "I love him, Robyn," she said as tears came to her eyes.

Robyn glared at her. "Forgive me if I find that difficult to believe!"

"It was a mistake!" cried Zoe. "I was drunk. I was scared of the future. I was stupid."

"That's not really an excuse, is it?" said Robyn.

Zoe knew it wasn't. She took refuge in anger. "Maybe if you hadn't gone off and left me on my own hen night, this wouldn't have happened!"

Robyn's eyes widened in shock. "Zoe, you don't seriously think this was my fault!"

"If you'd been there; if you'd tried harder, maybe you could have stopped me."

"You shouldn't need someone to stop you from cheating on the person you love!" said Robyn.

Zoe tried again. "I wasn't responsible…"

Robyn actually shouted in her face. Sweet, gentle Robyn. "Of course you were responsible, Zoe! You're forty, not four. You were responsible for your actions and you've got to take responsibility now. Go in there. Tell him what you did. And then get out because I'm sure he won't want to see you ever again."

Cal was so frightened. He was being wheeled along a long corridor and all he could see was the ceiling. Another doctor had come in and shouted at Lily for not informing him Cal was awake. Lily had answered him calmly and coolly, but Cal didn't know why he was shouting. Lily was a good doctor. She knew what she was doing.

The doctor hadn't shouted at Cal, but he'd asked so many questions which Cal couldn't answer. He was sure he knew the answers, but he couldn't reach them. He'd cried again and felt grateful when Lily had stroked his arm. But he still wanted Ethan.

He felt Lily's hand on his shoulder. "It's going to be all right, Cal. This shouldn't take long."

"Where's Ethan?" he said. He knew he'd asked this before, but none of Lily's replies made sense. Nothing much made sense. Cal felt tears leaking out of his eyes. He was sure he ought to understand. They were in a hospital and he was a doctor.

"Ethan is talking to the police," said Lily.

Cal knew that already, but that wasn't the answer he needed. He didn't know if Ethan was in the next room or miles away. "Where is he, Lily?"

But the ceiling and the walls were closing in around him. He cried out for Lily, his good hand groping blindly. "Why... where... I can't see!"

He felt her take his hand. "You're going to have a scan, Cal. I know it's frightening, but I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you."

As the darkness closed over Cal, so close to his head, he began to thrash about in fear. There was no air in here. He needed air. "Let me out! Let me out! I want Ethan."

Lily kept hold of his hand. "You can come out soon, Cal. Try to keep still. Everything is all right."

Cal was sure he'd had scans before, but they were never like this. He felt smothered; suffocated. He lay and sobbed and begged to come out as Lily stroked his hand. The walls were getting closer and he knew he was going to die.

Then at last he was moving and he was out in the air again; able to breathe. But not able to stop crying.

"Well done, Cal," said Lily. "It's over now. It's all right."

He put his arms around her and trembled as he wept. "I want Ethan."

Lily held him. "I know, Cal. I know."