The Hopeful Lights of Winter
Disclaimer: I still don't own it, and I am back to being a poor student with bills, so I'm even less worth suing.
AN: Castle and Beckett try to navigate the holiday season and a fake separation at the same time. A Winter Ficathon story, and a nightly thank you gift for those involved in the Possibility4Joy project.
It isn't that she was surprised to see Martha. That has been part of the deal. She's the registered guest of record, and actress that she is, she is certainly capable of setting the scene. It crosses Kate's mind that she and Hunt, the intelligence agent that he was, would have made quite a pair.
Oh, well, they made Castle, didn't they? Huh.
She's earlier today than she has been for a while. But what surprised her was that Castle hadn't mentioned to her that his mother would be here when she spoke to him a little while ago. At first she thought that he might not have known, but when her mother in law produced two bright red to go cups of hot tea, she suspected that the woman must have known that Kate was on her way home.
She accepted the cup she's offered with a smile. Tea was Martha's thing that she had taken to including Kate in these last few years. Beckett had never asked if she knew about the connection that she and Castle have always had with coffee. If Martha knew, she never said. She just brought Kate tea.
"Thank you, Martha."
The older women smiled. "Of course dear. This one is rather lovely. Some special holiday blend," she waved her hand with a casual smile.
Kate took a long sip, and found herself surprised. It was light, not really bitter, and it tasted of fruit. "Oh, that good," she thought. Calming. She instantly began to shed her day, even as she offered Martha a seat in the sitting area of the suite.
"I had the housekeeper come up," the red head relayed with a grin. "Got rather diva-like, to ensure that the poor girl didn't enter my closets, you know."
Kate raised an eyebrow, impressed. "Very nice. I appreciate the effort towards keeping up appearances for us, we both do."
"Just another part to play, my dear, just another part to play. I don't pretend to understand exactly what is going on with the two of you and what you have gotten into, but if this is what you need, then this I can do."
And just like that, guilt washed over her. "I tried to keep him out of it, I really did. That's all I ever wanted to do was just keep him out of it." She felt like she owed his mother an apology, whether he wanted to be directly involved or not. Because she shouldn't have to live with that worry.
Martha set down her cup, and reached for her daughter in law's hand, holding it in her own.
"I'm just very glad that whatever it is the two of you are up to you, you are up to it together now. I know that my son always feels safer when he's with you."
The very thought choked her up. Because, honestly safer with her was not how she would describe the situation with her husband. Maybe he was, maybe she could be enough protection. But she is the one who brought this down on them. Intentionally or not. And gnawed at her. She knew that in many ways, she put him at risk, everyday, and this was just worse.
"I will not insult your intelligence and deny that it worries me, because it does, for both of you. But, as dangerous as I know your job can be, I find myself remembering that if you didn't put yourself in danger to do the right thing, who would? You do what you need to do. That is your choice to love you through this, to follow you know wherever this road goes? That's my son's decision to make. All of ours. And it's a decision long made, Katherine. You are a part of this family now. That's not up for debate."
Tears pricked at her eyes. "I'm not very good at it," she admitted. "It - it's been a long time." She hasn't had a mother for such a long time is what she meant to say. But the words wouldn't come out.
Martha seemed to understand though. "I'm still learning myself, you know. For so long it was just the two of us. I always wanted – well, more than that, you know? But – well, sometimes my personal life has not worked out as well as my professional one, and there have been times that is saying quite a lot. But then, there was Alexis you know, and, well. But I never did have a girl of my own, and I know, it's a special place where I wouldn't dream of intruding but –"
Kate shifted from her seat across from Martha to sit next to her, and and enfolded her in a hug. For several long moments, neither spoke. And then, her mother in law continued.
"I'm just so grateful for you dear. My son is a good man, charming and gifted and kind, for all the human faults he has. But...he's always been a little lonely. Quick to give himself to those who didn't value him as he did them. Friends and relationships both. And then, you came into his life. Don't discount the value in that, whatever else may be going on."
Kate took her words in for a moment, then nodded. They chatted aimlessly for a few minutes before the older woman stood to go.
"Thank you for the tea," Kate said, feeling lame, as if it wasn't quite enough of a thank you to encompass everything she should say.
Martha offered her another quick hug, and smiled. "It's call Joy, you know. Appropriate yes? I figured we could probably all use some about now. Well, I'm off darling."
And then she breezed out as was her way, and left Kate staring after her. Joy. That – she shook her head in grateful disbelief. And then she reached for her phone, hitting her husband's number on autopilot.
At some point, during their hours long conversation, she will tell him about how his mother brought her joy in a bright red cup.