Chapter 30

"Winnie, I don't think I've ever seen someone this excited to go back to school," Greg said, eyeing me up and down suspiciously. We turned a corner, and made our way into the infamous platform nine and three-quarters. I wasn't exactly excited to go back to school, but he didn't have to know that.

I laughed at his remark but said nothing, instead focusing all my energy into pushing the extremely heavy trolley. Greg sighed as he saw me struggling with the heavy trolley and pushed it for me. I quickly thanked him then let my eyes scan the crowd, I was hoping to find at least one of my friends. But, it was packed with people making it difficult to find anyone. I was sure that if I wasn't clinging onto Greg's jacket that I would've lost sight of him too.

The rest of the holidays had been a blur, during the middle of the holidays my mother insisted that we go visit my aunt, who lived three hours away from us. That meant I hadn't gotten to spend time with my friends and instead had to babysit a bunch of bratty kids who seemed to never stop whining, screaming and/or crying.

The last time I had seen Sirius was when he had told me he fancied me, it was still a shock but my lack of a soul really helped me adjust to the situation. Just kidding. Everytime I thought of Sirius my heart began to accelerate and then I did whatever I could to stop thinking about him, which was a lot harder than you would think. I wasn't sure how to behave around him now, especially since I had told him to act like we were dating when we returned to Hogwarts. Was I supposed to be friendly? Was I supposed to kiss him? Hug him? I wasn't sure and the more I thought about it the more terrifying everything seemed.

"Winnie, look out!" Greg said, before sharply pulling me away. "You almost bloody hit that old lady in a wheelchair!" He said, stifling his laughter.

I winced at the old lady and gave her an apologetic smile, "Sorry, I'm sorry, lady! Hey - can you see any of my friends?" I asked, redirecting the conversation to a more important subject.

"No, but who bloody cares - you'll be seeing them every day for the next six months or so, anyway. Shouldn't you be worried more about me? Your brother? who you rarely see?" he said, sardonically.

I scratched the back of my neck, "Sorry, Egg. You know, we still haven't spoken about Emily. You know, your ex-fiance?"

Greg clenched his jaw, "Shouldn't you be getting on that train?" I could very obviously see how his body language had changed, he was doing what he always did. He was shutting me out. Underneath Greg's witty exterior, he was vulnerable. He just never wanted to admit it. I guess it was hereditary because I was that way too.

I rolled my eyes at him, "The train can wait, Greg - what the hell is going on? You never want to talk about Emily, every time I start a conversation with you about her, you just shut me out!" I said, crossing my arms.

He gave me a blank stare, "Merlin, what do you want me to do? Tell you my feelings while we watch a movie and eat sushi? I'm not like that. You're not like that. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to talk about her." He sighed frustratedly, "Look, I don't want to fight, Winnie. Just go, get on that train." he said, motioning to the train behind me.

I shook my head, keeping my feet firmly on the platform, "No, not until you tell me. You better tell me now because you know how stubborn I am." I said, seriously.

He groaned and covered his face, "She fell in love with someone else, okay? Some weird bloke, who's in a band. Grey dogs or whatever," he said, annoyed. He then proceeded to push me onto the train, "Now go."

Usually, I would've argued and stayed to hear more details but the train was going to leave any minute and I couldn't wait another day so I coul get a train to go to Hogwarts.

"You," I said, pointing at him, "Better send me a letter with all the details of this little, love triangle."

He laughed, despite how he was probably feeling. "It's not a love triangle. But sure, alright. Just get on the bloody train and go to school, you prat. Get an education, why don't you?" He said, teasingly.

I laughed and nodded, "Alright, I'll try. I guess," I said sarcastically, I waved goodbye at him and moved away from the door, enchanting the bag to follow me as I walked.

A rush of familiarity sprouted in me and I could faintly remember the first day of sixth year, the excitement of seeing my friends, the happy students who were reunited - BUMP!

My shoulder felt like it detached from my body and I almost tripped from how hard that person was, but luckily I didn't. Oh, yes. The annoying people who never stopped bumping into me or into anyone else they deemed 'bump' worthy.

I felt rage bubble up inside of me and I quickly reacted, "Hey, why don't you watch where you're going! I almost tripped and died! Do you even care about the consequences of your actions?" I fumed.

The person who had bumped me, turned around quickly. My eyes widened as I took in who this person was. Shockingly, It was Marlene McKinnon. I hadn't seen her in a significantly long time.

Marlene's eyes shifted around me, "Oh, Winnie. Hi, sorry I was looking for Lily and Mary, I guess I got distracted." She said with an awkward laugh, everything about her signalled that she wanted to get away from me as soon as possible.

I narrowed my eyes at her, "I haven't seen you in a while." I said, laughing bitterly.

Frankly, I was hurt. We had gotten very close at one point and then she had just, disappeared. Ever since that fight the boys and I had in the great hall, she had avoided me. She turned her head when I smiled, looked away when I waved, she pretended not to notice me in the corridor. It was like she wanted nothing to do with me. The harshness of her betrayal reminded me of a fact that I knew too well, I could never trust anyone other than the boys.

Marlene picked at the strands of her hair, avoiding eye contact with me. "Yeah, I know. I've been like - really busy. Anyway, where are you off to? Are you going to sit alone?" She asked, raising her brows at me in a patronising tone.

I now realised why Marlene McKinnon was known as a bitch. I had always assumed that she was misunderstood, like me. That she was a sweetheart but needed time to show it. But I was wrong. She was just like every other girl I had befriended, a disappointment.

I scoffed, "No, I'm going to sit with the boys. I haven't seen my boyfriend in a while, so I have to at least go and say hi." I said, a smirk playing at my lips. I felt, powerful in a way. I watched a mixture of emotions pass through her face. Shock, jealousy, confusion and then it settled on one specific emotion.

She clapped her hands excitedly. "Oh! you're friends with them again? After what you did? Wow, that's true friendship. Hey, do you mind if I go with you? I really want to stop by and say hi." She said, looking completely different than how she was a minute ago. Marlene laced her arm with mine and shot me a sweet smile.

I couldn't understand how she did that. How she concealed her sadistic heart with a beautiful, bright smile. Her words stung like acid, piercing through my skin and leaving a hole in my already damaged soul. How could she say that? How could she look me in the face and mutter the cruelest words I had ever heard in my entire life?

"So, who is your boyfriend?" She pried, smiling.

I looked at her confused, "Sorry - what? No, of course you can't stop by. A second ago you acted like I was your worst enemy and now you're suddenly my best friend? Look, Marlene. Whatever you're playing, I'm done. You're pathetic and insecure and you need help." I said, pushing past her and making my way onto more important matters.

People always seemed to take me by surprise. It was strange how you could think that someone was your close friend - but they could easily turn out to be your enemy. It baffled me how easily it could be for someone to lie, to their friends, to their family. To themselves.

The thoughts slowly started to disappear, the closer I was to the compartment - the less thoughts I had. I glanced through the compartment door as I reached, James, Peter and Remus sat there excitedly chatting away. As usual when they saw me, they almost immediately attacked me with hugs and hello's, as well as asking me about what had happened when I had visited my aunt and her devil-children.

"You would think a three year old muggle would be cute, they don't know about anything. They're young. They have their whole lives to hate their existence. But no. Nope, you're completely wrong. Children are the worst." I replied, shuddering when James asked me about the kids.

Peter nodded, "Especially babies. All they do is cry."

James scoffed, "What do you think babies do? Solve mathematical equations?" he asked, rhetorically.

Peter laughed, "No, that's more like Remus's job." he said, throwing a candy bar at Remus.

Remus rolled his eyes, a playful smile on his face. "Ha-ha, laugh at the so-called nerd, but don't come crying to me when you realised you failed all your NEWT's." he said, pointing at each of us.

I grinned, "You know what, you guys call Remus a nerd - but there's a chance that you all might end up working for him, one day." I said, smartly looking over at Remus who was now smiling smugly.

"Ah, yes. A werewolf for a boss, what's more exciting than that?" Sirius's voice said, from behind us.

I could feel the goosebumps appearing all over my skin, almost as if they were activated by his voice. I didn't turn around and let my hair act as a curtain between Sirius and I. I could hear them all jump up and greet him, I could hear his loud laughter as he probably gets tackled by Remus and James. I just didn't have it in me to turn around.

"Well, that's no way to greet your boyfriend," Sirius said jokingly and I could practically feel his eyes on me. My face automatically began to feel hotter and I knew that I was blushing.

"What?" Remus said, gaping. "What is happening?" he said, eyes widening.

"Who's dating who?" Peter spat, looking at both of us with a scarily confused look.

I clenched my jaw and turned around, "Damn it, Sirius. Must you ruin all good things in this life." I said, shaking my head at him. "Alright, settle down everybody." I said, standing up.

"I have an announcement," Sirius said before I jabbed him with my arm, "Sorry, love - we have an announcement. Winnie and I are dating! Isn't that fantastic?" Sirius grinned enthusiastically.

I shook my head, "No, we're pretend dating, remember?" I studied his grinning face, "Bloody hell, Padfoot. You look like you've got a hanger stuck in your mouth."

"Sorry, it's not everyday you get to pretend date the girl of your dreams." He said flirtatiously with a wink.

I wanted to stop the smile on my face but I couldn't, "Okay, calm down there smiley. Listen, to everyone we are dating. To you guys, we are not. This is the only way - Sirius, I'm not even looking at you but I know you're smiling. Stop it." I said, turning around and pointing at a grinning Sirius.

Remus had an unreadable expression on his face, "I don't understand, why would you - James, what do you think about all this?" Remus said, looking over at a bored looking James.

His head snapped up once he heard his name being called, "Oh, I already knew." He said sheepishly. "Sorry guys, but it wasn't because they favoured me - I just saw them almost kiss that's all."

"Huh? You kissed? Since when have you been together? what is going on?" Peter said, in a state of utter incertitude.

Remus scrunched his eyebrows together, "Are you two together?" Before we could reply he answered, "Judging by your over all expressions and body language, he fancies you more than you fancy him, you probably don't fancy him at all." Remus said, psycho-analysing me.

I stared at him dumbly, "Did you just psycho-analyse me? I told you not to do that, Remus John Lupin!" I said, annoyedly. "Besides, you're bloody wrong about whether I do fancy him or not because guess what! I do fancy hi-" I said and then I slapped a hand across my mouth, when I realised what I had almost said. But the damage was done and they had heard it all.

James almost spit out the water he had just drank, "You what?" he said after swallowing.

"Exactly." Remus said wisely. "It was reverse psychology. I could tell that you both fancied each other but you being you, you would never admit it under the normal circumstance."

"Shit on a stick." I said, still staring at Remus wide-eyed. "You're a lot more deceitful than I took you for."

"This is extremely amusing for me." Sirius said, laughing.

"I have no idea what is going on right now." Peter muttered.

"Remus bloody lupin. I could kiss you right now." Sirius said, clapping him on the back. "But I wont, I like someone else." he said, looking over at me and winking.

I felt my face flush with embarrasment. I was not one of those girls who liked these things. I didn't know how to act. I didn't know what to say, or what to do. Merlin knows how I managed to have a relationship with Kenneth.

I scratched my neck awkwardly. "I need to go to the toilet. Good bye." I said, nodding at all of them before walking out of there.

This was too much for me as someone who was heavily guarded, it was like they had taken a peak into, well - my very soul. I did not feel comfortable knowing that and as usual, I did the thing I knew how to do very well. I ran.

"Calm down, Winnie. You can do this!" I said, pointing to myself in the mirror. "Stop being such a baby. Woman up." I said, hoping my words of encouragement were actually working. They did nothing.

Someone tapped on the door of the bathroom. I rolled my eyes, it was probably that first year who kept knocking on the door almost begging me to let her go to the bathroom. But I needed some time to think and I was certain that there were other bathrooms on the train.

I sighed, "Okay, Sandra listen. I've told you three times that there's another bathroom on the other side," I said, loudly and then walked over to the door and unlocked it, pulling it open. "If you really need to go that badly - Oh." I said and then stopped when I realised it was not Sandra standing outside the door, it was Sirius.

"Hi, there." he said, leaning against the door frame. "That's quite a long time to be in the toilet, don't you think Dot?"

"I don't conform to society," I said and tried to close the door, but he stuck his foot so I wouldn't be able to close it. "Remove your foot or I'll crush it, Paddycakes." I growled.

He laughed, "Alright, Winnie. What's going on?" He said, a grin still plastered across his face. "Or do you want me to answer that question?"

I crossed my arms, "You know me well enough, answer your own bloody question." I said, fumbling around with my sweater.

Sirius cleared his throat, "I think that you're scared, because you're not used to being in a fake relationship. I'm here to reassure you and to say, don't worry about it. Listen, Winnie darling - I'm going to tell you a piece of advice my good old Uncle Alphard told me. Do whatever you want in life, just do it well. I find that this advice applies to all things." he said, ending his sentence with a casual shrug.

I laughed, "He sounds like a wise man."

Sirius shook his head, "Nah, he was a heavy drinker with an enormous beer belly. But he was the closest thing I had to a dad. A real dad, that is." he corrected himself.

I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, "You were right. What you said." I nodded, eventually. "I am scared. I don't know how to be in a relationship, let alone a fake one." I said, laughing slightly.

Sirius gently grabbed my shoulders making me look at him.

"Stop being afraid, Winnie. Because there is nothing to be afraid of. I'm not some psychotic killer or a stranger. I'm Sirius, you know me, I know you. Stop letting fear control your life, stop running away." He said, staring deeply into my eyes.

I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks, he knew exactly what to say to me sometimes and it kind of took me by surprise. It shocked me how someone could know me so well. He saw through my loud, sarcastic exterior - he saw me and he wasn't bothered by me, he accepted me. Sirius accepted me with my fears and my flaws, sometimes it felt like a dream. How could someone be this way?

"Do you want this?" Sirius asked, grey eyes shining with concern. "Because if you are not the least bit comfortable, then we will find another way. I promise you that. We don't have to be together, if you don't want to." I knew that this must have been difficult for Sirius to say, I knew that he liked me. The fact that he was willing to put my needs above his own made my heart pang.

I don't know when it happened but I realised that our fingers were interlocked, noticing it caused my my breathing to hitch. I took a glance our our laced fingers. My heart was pumping so fast, I was afraid it was going to burst. All the fears that were stuck in my head, slowly began to fade away like a distant memory: a faint past. It was like he had somehow snapped me out of my daydream and brought me back to reality. A reality that didn't seem so horrible.

I grabbed his shirt and pulled him close, "If this is going to happen, let it be known that I was the one who initiated the kiss. Not the other way around."

"Wha-" he asked, confused but I shushed him with a kiss.

It was a simple kiss, but it didn't feel like that at all. I was suddenly aware of everything, the intake of his breath, the strong cologne that he always wore, his soft pink lips. I felt it all, It was like somebody had heightened my senses. Sirius wrapped his arm around my waist, deepening the kiss, our lips were synchronising in perfect harmony and I let it linger for a moment before I slowly pulled my lips away.

We both stared at each other, in an incredible silence. It was so calm, so peaceful. It was like the beautiful silence after a rainy day. There was no need to say anything to each other.

"Hey, Sirius - how've you been?" I asked nonchalantly as if he hadn't just kissed.

Sirius began to laugh, "I've been alright. Just had the best kiss of my life, how about you?" he said, following my lead.

I shrugged, "I think it might rain today," I said, chuckling to myself.

The train came to a halt, right there and then. I quickly grabbed on to Sirius so I wouldn't fall. I had completely forgotten about the fact that we were actually on a train, to Hogwarts. Our school.

"How about we get out of here?" he said and I realised in that moment that he never looked so content, his eyes were gleaming brightly with happiness and I was glad that even for a moment, I was the source of that happiness.

"Lets," I said squeezing his hand. "The universe awaits."

YAY! They finally kissed. Do not worry, this is not the end. But I do have to announce that I am taking a temporary break just to organise my life and get my stuff together. I have been feeling a bit unmotivated and stressed due to school and I really need a short vacation, don't worry though I'll be back and running soon. In the mean time leave me a review on what you think! Share your thoughts! I'd love to hear all your opinions.