The Hopeful Lights of Winter
Disclaimer: I still don't own it, and I am back to being a poor student with bills, so I'm even less worth suing.
AN: Castle and Beckett try to navigate the holiday season and a fake separation at the same time. A Winter Ficathon story, and a nightly thank you gift for those involved in the Possibility4Joy project.
All the coming and going from the loft, from her own home, by the little used back entrance to the building, was strange, awkward. It was card protected, and she borrowed different ones, sometimes Martha's or Castle's. Today's she was Alexis, and she's just grateful that the girl didn't ask any questions after her quick reminder to be careful.
She suspected that Alexis was at least aware that Kate has been trying to keep her husband out of harms way, and that, along with her growing appreciation of the work she has been doing in assisting Castle in his PI office had led to a bit more latitude with Beckett herself. But she wasn't eager to test that theory too far if she could avoid it, she thought as she started up the long flights of stairs.
It might well have proved to be an over abundance of caution, but it wasn't something she wanted to risk except in the early morning hours when her neighbors were asleep. Cloak and dagger. Castle would probably get a kick out of, she thought. But the whole situation still made her uneasy.
Doing it with him was worth it, though. Living their lives now, rather than in some nebulous future of "after" that is some point they can't quite place yet.
He had the door open for her before she ever could get the key into the lock.
"When you said you were on the way, I thought you'd be here sooner. I was worried. Or -" he paused "Did you have to make a stop?"
She sighed. She didn't blame him, really she didn't. "No secret meetings, Castle. Except with you. See?" She pulled out her phone, let him look, why not?
He stammered a little. "I trust you, Kate I do. You just worried me."
She came close, kissed his jaw in apology. "I took the back stairs. Avoids the doorman, and elevators full of people. Most of the cameras." She didn't add that it also might skirt anyone watching the building, taking public transportation then walking in from behind the building. Some things they don't need to keep reminding themselves of in the short interludes they have to be together.
"God, that must be exhausting," he said as he led her further inside the warmth of the loft.
More of his rather intense holiday decor was present, but unlike a few years before, she now found it somewhat comforting. Castle was still Castle in spite of everything.
"I don't mind. I sit at my desk a lot more these days."
She settled in as he poured them each a glass of wine.
"So, what are you up to tonight?"
"Mostly writing. To one of those all Christmas music all the time Internet radio stations. Set the mood."
She laughed out loud. It figured.
"So, what's your Christmas theme song?" She asked after a moment, because really, her husband seemed like the kind who would have one.
He brought her glass as he considered.
"I don't know," he said after moment, "but I know yours."
She tipped her head, curious.
"Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24," he didn't even hesitate.
She blinked. "Mashed up and kinda hardcore?"
He grinned at her as he sat down beside her. "Yeah but, not just that. It's the story of thing."
Ahh, yes. She might have known.
"It's about the cellist, right? He played in the streets and at funerals, even though it was dangerous?" She asked because, well, that did kind of fit.
Castle nodded. "Well, that's basically the true version, although the poor guy has basically had his identity stolen and used more than once. But these guys, they did it right. Changed it in the right way. To the story of an old man who played carols in the square in as the city was bombed around him.
So you have two different sounds. Like war and peace. With the cello, we old man standing in the center. And he did it, the story goes, to remind people that even in the midst of all of this chaos and destruction, humanity remained. He was hope."
There was a lump in her throat she couldn't clear.
He reached out and took her hand. "I don't always love the way you through your self into disaster, any me when you do with me. Because I worry about you, too. But, I'm awfully glad you're you, Kate."
She didn't know what to say, and then, "Linus and Lucy," is what popped out of her mouth, unexpected.
"I - what?"
"That's you," she said quickly. "Playful and fun. Joyful." She bopped her head a little, demonstrating.
He barked out a short laugh. "Kate Beckett, was that the Snoopy dance? That's not even how do it. It's like this." He pushed the coffee table back and stood up to give a demonstration as she collapsed into helpless laughter.
A few minutes later, he pulled her up to join him, and that was how Alexis found her father and his wife when she came home: dancing crazily in the half decorated living room, with no music.
She didn't even question it as she headed up to bed.