Chapter 27: Rumours

November, Sixth Year

It was hard, sharing Brittany. Of course I'd had to before, but never in such an obvious way. Artie had apparently taken more offence to me punching him than I'd expected; he'd never been so openly hostile before. At Britt's request there weren't any outright insults, but he was always trying to find ways to drag her away and every day he seemed to get worse.

In public, she was his, and I hated it. In private, though, it was a different story. We spent quite a few nights together in the Room of Requirement, but I had to make sure she knew this wasn't just about sex for me now. I had to prove to her that I was worth it; I was worth breaking up with Artie for. I helped her more with quidditch (not that she needed it), we had long baths together in the prefects' bathroom, and I even started joining her for occasional study sessions in the library so that Artie couldn't monopolise that, as much as he tried.

Brittany liked it, I knew she did. Every time she left to meet up with Artie it took her longer. She didn't want to be with him, and she told me that with every lingering kiss and the increasingly frequent apologies. I was sure she was close to ending things with him, and as the week went on my mood continued to improve, despite the stares that seemed to be following me around. I didn't understand why - it wasn't like the party was the first time I'd hit someone in front of a crowd - but I was too focused on winning over Brittany to care what they whispered.

My generally good mood came to an end on Friday morning. I had just returned to my dorm from a night in the Room of Requirement with Brittany, and I was pulling my uniform out of the chest of drawers when Niamh sauntered over. She was easily the most obnoxious girl I shared with, and she'd hated me ever since first year when I'd turned her skin bright pink for a day in a bout of rage. Since I was in a good mood though, I did nothing more than give her a strained smile when she stopped next to me.

"I never took you for that kinda girl, Lopez," she commented with a smirk. Her superior tone, coupled with the accent, irritated me immediately – although the accent was more just because she reminded me of that idiot Rory. He'd been fawning over Brittany increasingly this past week as she helped him with his new kittens.

I wasn't going to play along with her games, though.

"Well I never took you for desperate, but we both know who hooked up with Finnocence last week," I replied calmly.

"More than can be said for you. Enjoy making out with blondie? I should've guessed she'd jump you eventually, everyone knows what she's like and it's not like she can be getting much from the cripple." My wand was in my hand and pointing at her before I'd had time to process the severity of her words. Then I saw the triumph in her expression, and it all came crashing down on me. "And with you not getting any either, I suppose it was only a matter of time until you used her to get some real attention. Does she help out often? Touch you up in front of a guy to make him so hard he can't resist? When was the last time you got any action without her help?" she taunted.

I had none of my normal retorts to throw back. I was frozen, just listening and unable to do anything to stop her. For a moment it was hard to breathe, but I had to react. I made a point to poke her in the throat with my wand, not lowering it and doing all I could to hide the fear that was coursing through me, making me want to run from the dorm or fall back onto my bed. I fumbled for words.

"Two weeks ago - Alex." He'd lost some of his popularity after I'd failed to put him back on the quidditch team this year, and he was so desperate to get it back there was no way he'd deny sleeping with me. But no, that was a terrible answer – now she'd think I had used Britt. Fuck. Get your head in gear, Lopez.

She snorted, shaking her head with obvious disbelief. A few sparks shot out of the end of my wand, startling her momentarily. I tried to recover some ground.

"And don't talk about Britt like that, got it?"

More sparks grazed her neck, but this time she didn't flinch at all. She continued speaking like she hadn't heard me.

"I mean, if you need to show off a bit for guys to get anything decent that's your problem, but you did it just to get with a Gryffindor? Jesus. I thought you had standards even if she didn't." My wand poked again at her throat, accidentally this time, but it just made her smirk wider. "Would you relax like? I get it. It's not like you've got anyone running after you nowadays, so you've got to settle for whatever you can get," she added, stepping backwards and away from me towards the door. "But next time you fancy a threesome, you might want to at least try and get two guys," she called over her shoulder.

My hand was twitching with the desire to curse her as she meandered across the room to the door, but I knew in the back of my mind that getting into a duel with Niamh would be a terrible idea. She was the star of the school's duelling club - even if Professor Sylvester did take my side, I'd still end up in the Hospital Wing. I knew that from experience.

Slowly I lowered my wand, trembling a little. Picking up my uniform, I pushed the drawer closed and walked to the bathroom. I could hear Berry in one of the showers as I entered, singing loudly, and that put me even more on edge.

How had Niamh found out about us? We'd been so careful! Suddenly all the stares since the weekend came back to me and I felt sick. I pushed my way into one of the cubicles, slamming the door shut behind me. I dropped the day's clothes onto the built-in ledge and tapped the pipe with my wand to start the shower. Stripping off my clothes from last night, I stepped under the hot water and let it beat down on me, ignoring the sting from the too-high temperature. I rested my forehead against the side of the cubicle, willing Rachel to be quiet and let me think.

It would be okay. She didn't think… she didn't think I was in love with Brittany. She just thought it was a threesome, or something like that. It could be worse. I gasped for breath, swiping at the few tears that escaped as I got myself back under control. It could be a lot worse.

Once I was sure I could hold myself together, I switched off the water and towelled myself dry, quickly changing into new clothes. I entered the main dorm and dropped my towel and dirty clothes onto my bed, pulling the curtains because I couldn't be bothered to do anything with them at that moment, then made my way out of Slytherin and towards the Great Hall.

I didn't get far, though. Within a minute of exiting the common room, two familiar voices restored the feeling of dread that I thought I had got under control. I drew my wand and followed the voices, and sure enough came across Kurt on the floor next to the potions cupboard, with Karofsky yelling insults at him. I couldn't form the words I wanted, so I just whipped my wand forward and sent an unidentifiable spell flying past his face. He spun, but just rolled his eyes when he saw me.

"Get a grip, Lopez. Just 'cause you had a bit of lesbo fun doesn't mean you have to run around looking after Ladyboy all the time."

Another blast of magic sent him hurrying away muttering something under his breath, but my face was burning as I walked over to Kurt. Fucking Karofsky. Why'd he have to say it like that? That made it sound even worse than it already was.

"What is it? What's everyone saying, about me and Britt?" I demanded as I helped him to his feet. How had this spread so out of control without me even realising? I'd been concentrating so much on winning over Brittany that I hadn't been paying enough attention. Kurt was staring at the ground, so I jabbed him sharply in the shoulder. "Hey. What are they saying?" I repeated more firmly.

"That… that you had a threesome. With Britt and a guy from Gryffindor."

"What else?" He was shrinking back into the shell I'd always known him by before. I didn't need that right now – I had to know exactly what people were saying!

"That's it! That's all I've heard, anyway. No one's saying anything about you being gay-"

"Since when am I gay?" I snapped, glaring up at him fiercely. Just because I was in love with Brittany, didn't make me… that.

"I… I just figured-"

"Well don't. Don't get your little head caught up in thinking about stuff you don't understand, okay? God, it's no wonder Karofsky's always going after you when you say such stupid shit - try keeping your mouth shut for once."

I turned away while I was still speaking, marching down the corridor to get back on the path to the Great Hall and trying to return to the good mood I'd been in this morning. Kurt didn't have a clue what he was talking about. Neither did Karofsky, or Niamh - or any of these other people who kept staring. It was so much more obvious now, I had no idea how I'd brushed it off before. It felt like everyone's eyes were trained on me, even though I was sure they couldn't all be. But there were the looks, and the muffled giggles, and the whispers. It wasn't even just the girls gossiping - I noticed a couple of seventh year Slytherin guys grinning in my direction. Fucking pervs. The rumours weren't even true, but I couldn't correct them. It was better they thought that than knew the truth. I just had to act like it wasn't a big deal, like I didn't care - even though I just wanted to run away.

I spotted Brittany as soon as I stepped into the Great Hall, but then my mind started buzzing. Should I walk over there? What would people think? She was sitting with Artie anyway - wait, what did he think? Shouldn't he have broken up with Brittany by now? Was this why he'd been so crazy lately when I was about? It was all too confusing. I'd act too weird if I went over there now. I went to the Slytherin table instead, picking a seat next to Puck which I immediately regretted when he leered at me.

"Don't say a word," I warned when he opened his mouth, glaring at him fiercely. He grinned wider.

"Alright, if you insist. Just know I'm always happy to oblige- ugh, alright," he amended quickly when I elbowed him. The increasingly lewd remarks I'd been hearing from him all week suddenly made sense.

I stared down at my empty bowl and plate for several minutes before reaching out for some cereal, not daring to look up and around. Was everyone looking at me? Trying to work out if it was true? Why hadn't Brittany told me? There were too many questions. I took a bite of my cereal, realising too late I'd forgotten to add milk, but it was tasteless anyway. The sudden screeching of owls as the post arrived didn't help matters. I needed quiet, not a hundred birds flying around my head. Gradually they faded a little as letters and packages were delivered, only to be replaced by the irritation of Puck's voice again.

"Santana."

I tried to ignore him, taking another bite of cereal, but he spoke again.

"Santana, look."

I lifted my head to tell him to shut up, only to be stopped short by the familiar, massive eagle owl before me. It was attracting attention, but not just because of its size. In front of it, on the polished surface of the table, was a distinctive red envelope. I recognised my abuela's scratchy handwriting on the back immediately and everything around me started to tune out as I stared at the howler.

I'd lost count of the number of times I had laughed at other people stupid enough to bring on their families' wrath. First detentions, being caught with firewhiskey, failing exams - those were the most common causes. But I was almost certain that I would not be reprimanded for any of those misdemeanours. I never had been before. The timing was too horrible not to be associated with the rumours I'd only just found out about.

"Quick, Santana," Puck said again. I refocused my eyes and saw the envelope was beginning to smoke. There was no time to escape now. I should have grabbed it and ran out of the Great Hall the moment I saw it. I took a deep breath, trying to keep my calm as I slowly ripped open the top. I felt a moment of pride for not letting my hands shake, but then that was completely overshadowed by my grandmother's voice echoing around the room.

"Santana Lopez! Nunca he sido-"

I couldn't believe this was happening. All eyes were on Santana and the slip of red paper that continued to scream at her in Spanish. Occasionally I was able to make out a word or two that I didn't really understand, but I wasn't paying attention to that. I couldn't tear myself away from watching Santana's face. She was trying to be so brave, but even from where I was sitting across the hall I could see the tears that still escaped and the way she was clutching at the table so hard her knuckles had turned white. I knew it was her grandmother. I'd heard her yell a lot before, but never this bad. Santana never got howlers.

Finally, the angry voice fell silent, and muted laughter echoed around the room. Muted, I guess, because even if it was a howler, that was still Santana Lopez crying and no one wanted to get hexed. I watched as she stood, stumbling when she pushed Puck out of the way to hurry out of the Great Hall. The moment she was gone the laughter picked up. I felt a tug on my wrist. I turned, realising I was already standing, to see Artie looking up at me with his hand on my arm.

"Leave her, Britt. She's got a taste of her own medicine, she'll probably want to be alone."

I shook my head. He didn't know her like I did. She'd want to be alone, but with me.

"He's right, she probably doesn't want you about right now with those rumours and stuff going round, in case it makes things worse," Finn added from the other side of Artie, shovelling half a slice of toast into his mouth the moment he finished speaking.

"…What rumours?"

Finn was still chewing determinedly on the toast, but Artie wouldn't look at me. I tugged my hand free from his hold and sat down again on the bench, staring straight at him.

"What rumours, Artie?" I asked louder.

He sighed, playing with the eggs on his plate for a moment more before turning to look at me.

"Look, Brittany. I know what really happened on Sunday. And Saturday too, I guess."

"What?"

He rolled his eyes. "You don't need to play stupid, everyone knows." I ignored the sting of his words, just so he would carry on talking. "Okay, so I accidentally let slip to Sugar about… y'know. Seeing you two together. But then she mentioned that Gryffindor, and it all made sense, that it was all just for some guy Santana wanted to impress. But someone must've heard 'cause next thing I know everyone's talking about how you guys had a threesome. But I get it, you were angry, and I know what Santana's like-"

"No you don't! You don't know what she's like! You… why would you tell someone that?" I demanded, jerking up from my place next to him. I could feel myself shaking. "I was trying not to hurt you! I didn't want to hurt you, but then you go and hurt her!"

"No I didn't-"

"Yeah you did! She was just crying, because of you! You talking about her like that!"

"She punched me! And she basically persuaded you to cheat on me," he objected.

"You promised you wouldn't tell!"

"I didn't technically agree to that-"

"It doesn't matter!" I shouted. I knew that everyone was watching and listening to us now, and I had to be careful. I didn't know what Santana thought yet, but a threesome was probably better than people knowing it was just the two of us. "You said you'd be nice, I told you not to tell, and you didn't listen! You hurt her!"

His eyes were wide and his mouth open, and I could tell he didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to say anymore either, so I just turned around and walked away. Five days. Five days of trying to have it all, and I'd just hurt everyone. I should have ended it with Artie that morning. Maybe he'd still have talked, but I'd have been there for Santana at least. I couldn't believe he'd told people - and Sugar, the biggest gossip in Hufflepuff! What had he been thinking?

I didn't even try the Slytherin common room or dorm. There were too many people there; she'd want to be away from the gossip. I ran up the stairs two at a time. She must be terrified right now. She'd always said she didn't want anyone finding out, and now there were rumours all over the school about us! How long had she known? Not that long, surely. She'd been happy all week, and it had been lovely to see her so happy. It had been hard to leave her for Artie, and I'd been regretting that decision ever since Monday - but I hadn't wanted to go back on it, until now. Now, he'd hurt Santana, and I had to be there for her. I loved Santana. I couldn't pretend I didn't just to save Artie's feelings, especially when he didn't care about her.

The door to the Room of Requirement wasn't there when I found the corridor, but three lots of pacing while worrying about Santana made it jump into sight. I pulled on the handle and walked straight into our room, only pausing to make sure the door was shut behind me before hurrying over to the bed and climbing on, pulling her shaking body into me and hugging her as tight as I could.

"Shh, shh… I'm here," I whispered, starting to wipe away some of her tears before realising it was a futile effort. I carried on hugging her instead, pressing one kiss on her forehead before resting my chin lightly on the top of her head. "It'll be okay, I'll make it all okay," I told her. She wouldn't stop crying, though. The tears just kept coming and there wasn't anything I could say or do to make them stop, and that made me want to cry as well. But I couldn't, I had to be strong for her.

We lay there for a long time. Tony's old Puddlemere clock could have told me how long, but I wasn't interested in the time. I was just interested in helping Santana, and making her hurt less. She stopped crying eventually, but she didn't look at me. She just stared at the opposite wall, occasionally sniffing and reaching up to wipe at her face. I stayed next to her, watching her the whole time for some sign that she wanted to talk with my arms still around her.

"She said I was bringing shame to the family."

I blinked in surprise at her whispered words, lifting my head to get a better view of her face. Her eyes moved, flicking to my face for a few seconds before returning to the wall. A few tears swelled up again, but she blinked them away.

"You're not. She's just being silly."

"No, she's right. Who else has their granddaughter being gossiped about in the fucking Ministry?"

"The Ministry?" I repeated in dismay. How had it travelled that far?

Santana sniffed and nodded. "Someone said something about how they were surprised she let me get away with 'that kind of thing'. I… I didn't think people would tell their parents. Why would they tell their parents? Do they hate me that much?"

"No one hates you, Santana." She snorted, and I adjusted my sentence. "Well, no one apart from Finn. And… and Artie," I added in a quieter voice.

"Stopped defending him, have you?"

I gulped, looking away from her for the first time. I'd have to tell her eventually. Maybe I should start with the good news so she wouldn't be too upset?

"I broke up with him," I admitted. "Well, he might not realise it yet, but I have. B-because… he's the one who started the rumours."

That got her attention. She sat up, pulling out of my arms and the anger visible on her face.

"I should've known! I'm gonna hex him so-"

"No, no, Santana. Please. He didn't really mean to - and anyway, I don't want to think about him now. I want to think about us. He doesn't matter," I said, sitting up as well and reaching out to grab her hand. It distracted her enough to lessen her scowl. "It's just us, okay? And we can be secret for as long as you like."

Her frown reappeared, and she shook her head. "No. No, that's not fair. I can't do this to you."

"…What?"

Now she wasn't looking at me. I shifted on the bed, crawling across so I was sat right in front of her.

"What do you mean?"

What was she doing? What was she thinking?

"It's not… it's not fair to you. I can't… I'm too scared. I can't let them think those things about me. It won't be long. People are going to realise none of the Gryffindor guys were with us that night. They're going to talk, even more than they are now-"

"No they won't, they'll forget it."

She was shaking her head again. "They'll talk, and it'll get back to abuela, and my parents. Kurt's already got ideas. It can't happen, I need to show everyone I'm not like that."

I bit my lip, trying again not to cry.

"What do you mean, Santana? I said, we can be a secret."

"But… but it's not fair to you, making us be a secret if… if I'm with other guys too. Not after Artie. Not after how much I hated it. I know I tried to act like it was fine, but it wasn't. It was horrible, seeing you go off with him."

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry-"

I couldn't be sorry enough, now she was saying all this. I really had hurt everyone. But she couldn't leave me now, not after all of this.

"I know. But I can't put you through the same. I need to show people I'm straight. I'm not brave enough, I… I don't think I'll ever be brave enough," she added in a whisper. She was crying again now, but so was I. I reached out for her again, wanting to hold on for as long as possible, and she didn't object.

"You will be. You can have all the time in the world, but I know you, and you are brave. I can wait," I promised, holding her close with my arms wrapped around her.

"But can you wait while I'm off with other people?"

I looked her in the eye as I considered how much I used to dislike Puck. I didn't want her to go off with him again. In fact, I hated the idea. It made me realised just how stupid I'd been, thinking I could have her and Artie at the same. It must have hurt her so bad. But she'd dealt with it, and that meant I would too - so long as it didn't last forever.

"I can. But you have to try and be brave, okay? I'll help you, but you need to promise to try. We can be secret till then, and you can… you can do what you have to. You love me."

"I love you," she agreed, sniffling.

"And I love you. And that's all we need right now."

It would hurt. I knew it would. But I'd hurt her with Artie, so I'd have to deal with whatever she needed to get over her fears to be with me. She would be brave at some point. But until then, I had to be the brave one. And I'd be as brave as I needed to be to keep her with me. I'd spent too long wishing she'd love me back to abandon it now; however hard it was going to be, Santana was worth it.

End of Part Two

Many, many thanks go to letswriteadodgytvshow for helping me edit this.