Thank you so much for the reviews - it really is the loveliest feeling to get so many.
The parts about Cal might not be medically accurate. I looked at several sites, but they all gave slightly different information.
beckyboogle, thank you for your review. I'm certain Ethan would be completely behind Cal if anything like this ever happened in the series - though I really hope it won't! Writing it is emotional enough!
Tato Potato, I'm sure it does help Cal to have Ethan there. I hope he seems a bit calmer now! I'm relieved you feel sorry for him because that means I haven't messed up writing it! Thank you for your review.
Tanith Panic, this has turned out to be a much sadder story than I intended, but one of my original plans was for Louise to become a nicer person. So I've succeeded in that at least! Thank you for your review.
CasualtyFanForever81, thank you for your review. I'm glad you enjoyed the previous chapter - I hope you will enjoy this one too, though it isn't the happiest chapter I've ever written!
CBloom2, I usually find Louise annoying too. There are sometimes hints that she's changing for the better, but I'm always disappointed! So now I'm changing her irrevocably for the better! Thank you for your review.
20BlueRoses, thank you for your review. I've always thought the staff of Casualty were caring, but there are also cliques and rivalries. One thing I've enjoyed with this story is mixing it up so they're supporting people they're not really close to. Though of course I couldn't keep Cal and Ethan apart forever!
ETWentHome, thank you for your review and for your very kind comments about the Cal and Ethan scene. I really hope the Cal and Ethan scenes in this chapter will work too! I agree with you about Zoe - let's see her do the right thing for a change!
Honey felt like a spare part. Unwanted. When they'd been running from the police, Ethan had needed her. Now he seemed to have forgotten her existence.
Ethan helped Cal to lie down and tucked him in. "There you are, Cal," he said gently. "It's okay. I'm not leaving you. I promise."
Ethan stroked Cal's hand as he drifted off to sleep, then sat quietly, watching him. As Honey watched, Ethan's control broke. Tears streamed from his eyes and he put his hand over his mouth to muffle his sobs.
Honey gave him a hug. "It's going to be okay, Ethan."
"I'm sorry," sobbed Ethan.
"No, it's okay," said Honey. "It's really… manly to have emotions."
"It's just so hard seeing him like this," wept Ethan.
Honey massaged his back. "Yeah. Yeah, it must be. But at least he doesn't fancy himself anymore."
The look Ethan gave her was far from loving. "Honey, I would give anything for him to turn back into his old self right now. I would love him to wake up now and tease me for being a crybaby and then push the bedclothes back to reveal two naked blondes. All I can do is hope that one day he'll ask me to cover for him while he runs off on another booty call. But I love him as he is now. Of course I do. I'll look after him forever if I have to. I'll do whatever it takes. But most of all, I just want him to be happy. And he's not!"
Honey tried not to feel horrified. "So, you think he might have to live with us? Forever?"
"If this is permanent, he'll have to live with me forever," said Ethan. He squinted down at Cal and ghosted his thumb across the back of his hand. "I love you, Honey, and I very much hope you'll live with us too. But it's your choice. If you want to be with me, you have to know that Cal might be part of our life too. And I want him to be part of it. I love Cal, Honey."
"Right," said Honey. She reminded herself of how impressed Noel would be if she married Ethan and helped to care for his mad brother. "Yeah. Yeah, I want that too."
Robyn ignored the voice in her head telling her to give Zoe a hug. Zoe didn't deserve a hug! Not after what she'd done to Max.
"Do you want to tell me what happened?" said Robyn.
"I lied to Max!" wailed Zoe. "I told him I was completely drunk and I didn't know what I was doing and I couldn't remember what happened that night. I told him the guy swore nothing happened. And Max forgave me and I hoped we could move on and forget about it, but I can't forget it. Max deserves better than that."
"Yes: he deserves to know what kind of woman he's married to!" said Robyn.
"Yes, he does," agreed Zoe, sniffling. "I think the drink probably did play a part. And pre-wedding nerves. It doesn't make any difference, but I've never done anything like that to Max before. I never will again."
Robyn knew she shouldn't trust anything that came out of the woman's mouth. She'd already admitted to lying to Max. But Robyn, for some reason, believed her. Part of the reason why Zoe's behaviour had shocked her so much was because it did seem so out of character. Zoe had a bit of a short temper and, yes, she could get a bit silly after a few drinks, but she'd always struck Robyn as being a really kind, loving person – both as a doctor and as a girlfriend.
"I promise you, Robyn," said Zoe, more calmly. "I am telling the truth."
"I believe you," said Robyn slowly. "God knows why after everything you've done, but I believe you."
Zoe looked at her desperately. "So what am I going to do?"
Robyn wanted to scream at her to go to Max and tell him the truth, but she didn't. "How would you feel if you were in his place?" said Robyn instead. "If he told you a story like that and you forgave him and then one day you woke up and remembered everything?"
"I would feel very betrayed," admitted Zoe. "And manipulated."
Robyn nodded and finally allowed herself to put her arm around Zoe. "So maybe that's your answer?"
Connie wasn't used to being in this position. She did, very occasionally, ask other people for advice, but they tended to be other consultants or people she'd known for a long time: people whose sound judgement she knew she could rely on, such as Charlie.
She hadn't known Lily for that long. She was young and relatively inexperienced. But she'd done an excellent job today.
But now it came to it, Connie wasn't sure what to say. It seemed a ridiculous thing for a clinical lead to say to her most junior doctor (even if the doctor was a registrar); ridiculous in any case that Connie would need advice.
"Do you require an update on any of our staff?" said Lily. "I have been keeping an eye on both their mental and physical conditions."
"Good," said Connie. "Is there anyone you feel should not be working?"
Lily considered. "I have doubts about Dr Keogh."
Connie nodded: this was no surprise. "Tell him to go home."
Lily's eyes widened in surprise. "You wish me to do this, Mrs Beauchamp?"
"Yes, why not?" said Connie. "You have been leading the team very well and it seems as though they trust you."
"I… I have tried to do a good job," said Lily with unusual uncertainty.
"And you have done a good job," said Connie. "So, carry on, please." She turned away.
She couldn't stay here. She would go home and leave Lily in charge and decide what to do tomorrow.
"Mrs Beauchamp, are you in pain?" said Lily. "I will help you back to the ED."
"Thank you," said Connie, and took Lily's arm. They walked in silence and Connie was grateful for that. Lily was not one to indulge in idle chatter. Rather like Connie herself.
But if Connie asked her a question, Lily would answer it calmly, clearly and truthfully. If Connie asked her whether the others blamed her for Rita's death, Lily would not dodge the question.
Connie turned to look at her as they walked. Lily walked confidently, but her face showed signs of strain. Finally, Connie realised what she had to do. Lily had done admirably, but she had done enough. Connie couldn't give her further responsibility. If Connie was blamed for Rita's death, she would find out soon enough. There was no need to worry Lily; to show weakness to Lily. Perhaps one day, they could have a more equal relationship, but it couldn't happen now.
"Do you still wish me to take the lead?" said Lily, her face expressionless.
"No," said Connie with firmness. "But I appreciate and value your support, Lily. I want you to know that."
She thought she saw a spark of happiness in Lily's eyes, but her voice showed only determination. "I will do everything I can, Mrs Beauchamp."
Connie spoke with quiet confidence. "I know you will, Dr Chao."
Ethan jumped as the doctor entered the room. He felt Honey's hands moving soothingly across his shoulders. Cal remained asleep.
"Dr Hardy, I have news about your brother."
Ethan felt his hand tense around Cal's. With an effort, he loosened his hold.
"We have the results of the MRI scan. I'm very sorry to inform you that Caleb has sustained a moderate injury to the brain."
Ethan tried to speak but couldn't. He heard Honey gasp, but she too said nothing.
"As Caleb is young and very healthy, a full recovery isn't impossible," said the doctor. "But it's too early to say one way or the other. If recovery does happen, it's not always immediate. But I won't lie to you, Dr Hardy. I'm sure you know how difficult brain injuries can be. If two people sustain identical injuries, they won't have identical symptoms or be affected to the same extent. I really can't make any promises."
Ethan's eyes were full of tears. "I understand."
The doctor's voice was sympathetic. "We'd like to keep him overnight for observation. If we're satisfied, he is likely to be released in the next couple of days as long as there will be someone available to look after him. It's likely that he'll need psychological support and occupational therapy. Perhaps physical therapy or speech and language therapy: it's too early at this stage to tell what he'll need. The only thing I can say for sure is that Caleb will need support."
"I'll be here for him," said Ethan, as the tears poured down his cheeks. He looked down at his brother. "I'll be here for you, Cal. I promise."
Max watched as Zoe wept. She was too overcome to continue, but Max waited. He felt as though he could wait for a long time.
It wasn't as though he was happy to wait. Every moment was agony and not because of the physical pain. That had faded almost completely away because it didn't matter.
But he had to wait; he had to stay silent because in order to speak, you needed to move and Max couldn't. He was frozen. Mind and body frozen in a moment of horror - but the cold feeling around him did not numb the pain.
"I was very drunk, Max," cried Zoe. "I was drunk and nervous. I can't tell you what I was thinking because I don't know. But I remember what happened. I made the decision to bring him back to my flat and I did sleep with him. I didn't want to tell you this. I love you so much and I have never regretted anything as much as this. But I can't live my life knowing that, at any point, you might remember. I think that would hurt you more than telling you now. I know you won't want me back. But if I tell you now, you've got your life ahead of you. You've got time to recover and find someone who deserves you." Zoe stopped speaking again and cried some more. "Okay. I'm going to go now. I know it won't mean anything, but I love you, Max. And I'm so, so sorry to cause you so much pain."
She stood up and limped away.
Max heard the door closed. He heard Zoe continuing to sob as she walked down the corridor.
He lay there and the agony of the rest of his life began.