I know I said this would be the last chapter, but as usual, I'm wrong. There will be one more chapter after this - or two if I can't fit everything into one chapter.
Guest, thank you for your review. I don't think I can do a Zax reunion as this story is about losing people, but I was thinking of writing a scene with hints that a reunion could be possible. Zoe and Max's story is so complicated, their reunion would really need a story of its own!
CBloom2, I definitely agree about Honey! If she really loves him, she will accept Ethan's decision. If she doesn't really love him, the sooner she gets lost, the better! Thank you for your review.
Tato Potato, thank you for your review. It will be very tough for Cal, but Ethan's support will definitely help him. I love the way they're always there for each other when anything bad happens, so I wanted that to happen in this story too.
Angel2021, I was never that keen on Max so I can understand, but I tried to write all the characters (with one exception) as sympathetically as possible in this story, even when they were driving me mad onscreen! Thank you for your review.
Guest, thank you so much for your review. That's really kind of you and I do appreciate it. I have read a lot of amazing fanfictions on this site so that is a great compliment. I hope you enjoy the last couple of chapters.
20BlueRoses, thank you for your review. I thought about Max hearing it from someone else, but I wanted Zoe to do the right thing. Brain injuries are difficult to predict, but Ethan will be clinging on to the possibility too!
A few days later
Someone was in the room with him.
Charlie opened his eyes. He half-sat up; half-called out a name.
But nobody was there.
He sank back onto his pillow. Just another dream. More wishful thinking. That was all.
Charlie jumped as the door to his room opened. He sat up again, his eyes going eagerly to the door, but only Jacob was there.
"Charlie, you okay, mate?" Jacob crossed the room with quick strides. "What is it?"
Charlie couldn't help asking. "Has Louis been here?"
There was sympathy in Jacob's eyes. "Sorry, Charlie. I don't think so."
Lofty could see and hear the change in Dylan. At first it was so slight, only a close friend could have detected it, but the longer Dylan remained in the cubicle, the more his tension and discomfort grew.
Lofty moved around the bed, stepping into Dylan's field of vision, hoping that would give Dylan some comfort. He saw Dylan's eyes flicker briefly in his direction.
The minutes ticked by. Dylan finished his examination and asked Lofty to take some bloods before almost running out of the cubicle. Lofty wanted to go after him, but he knew he had a job to do and if he rushed, he would only drop things.
Then he saw Louise coming towards him. A new, calmer, kinder Louise who smiled at Lofty as though she meant it and stopped to ask if he was okay.
"Louise, I need your help," said Lofty.
"That's what I'm here for," said Louise.
Zoe knew she could take more time off if she wanted to. Ordinarily, Connie would have insisted she went home, but they were still very short of doctors. They didn't know when or if Cal and Ethan would be back and Dylan was struggling.
Zoe left Resus and stopped for a moment, leaning against the wall, trying to let the stress of saving the patient's life seep out of her without allowing thoughts of Max to creep in.
The doors opened again and Robyn came out, her expression sombre. "You okay, Zoe?" Her voice was guarded.
"Yeah," said Zoe. She stood up straight and gave Robyn a smile. "It's not an easy job, is it? But I wouldn't do anything else."
Robyn nodded, a look of complete understanding on her face. "No. Neither would I."
Ethan kept his arm around Cal as they walked into the living room together. Cal was still a bit shaky walking and often became dizzy. "Here you are, Cal," he said as he helped his brother to sit down. "What would you like to watch?"
Cal sat quietly while he thought about it. "24 Hours in A&E."
Ethan hesitated. Cal had got so upset last time they'd watched that. He'd had trouble following the procedures, though his headache had been particularly severe that day.
"You said I could choose!" said Cal.
"Okay," said Ethan quickly. He reminded himself that Cal never had liked it when Ethan objected to his choice of TV programme.
There was a knock on the door. Cal looked fearfully at Ethan.
"I'll answer it," said Ethan.
He opened the door.
"Hey, Ethan," said Honey.
Dylan sat on a bench outside the ED and tried to breathe more slowly. He was trying not to let things bother him, but he knew now that disasters could happen and they could tear your life apart.
"There you are!" Lofty sat beside him.
Anxiety gripped Dylan again. "Is there something wrong? Does the patient need me?"
"No, everything's fine," said Lofty reassuringly. "I just wanted to check you were okay."
Dylan felt close to tears. "Ben, I can't do this. It's too much. I keep thinking things."
"Did you go to counselling yesterday?" asked Lofty.
Dylan shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it. I'm not ready to talk about it."
Lofty nodded as though he understood. "Maybe you should take a few days off. Zoe's almost back at her normal hours and the locums are getting to know the place pretty well now."
"I can't," said Dylan abruptly.
"Can you tell me why you can't?"
"Going off work is surprisingly easy," said Dylan. "it's the coming back again that I don't think I can do."
Lily held the phone more tightly against her ear. "No," she said sadly. "I don't think I'll be able to take my consultant's exams anytime soon."
"Then why are you telling me this, Lily?"
"I led the department when the hospital was facing a state of emergency," said Lily unsteadily. "I proved that I can do the job not only of a consultant but a clinical lead and I did it well."
"For a few hours, and only in your opinion."
"Not only in my opinion," said Lily as a tear ran down her cheek. "In the opinion of many people."
"Lily," said her father, "why are you telling me this? What did you expect me to say?"
Lily sniffed. "I hoped you would say you were proud of me."
"When you have done something to make me proud, perhaps I will."
Lily ended the call as tears of anger and disappointment coursed down her cheeks. "And when I have done something to make you proud, perhaps I won't tell you!" she whispered.
A hand touched her shoulder. "Lily, I'm sure he's proud of you," said Connie.
"He's not," sobbed Lily. "I'm starting to believe he never will be. So, that is it. It is finished. I will not contact him again. Not even if I become clinical lead of the best hospital in the world."
Connie smiled. "After my job already, Dr Chao?"
Lily blinked at her, confused, and then the reality of what she'd said sank in. "Mrs Beauchamp, I apologise," she said as she wiped her tears away. "I should not have said that. I should not have made a scene."
"Don't apologise," said Connie. "I wouldn't!" She smiled again. "You stood up to him, Lily. I'm proud of you."
Lily stared at her. "You're what?"
"Proud of you," said Connie, almost conversationally. She took Lily's arm and led her towards her office. "And not just for that, Dr Chao. Certainly not just for that."
Max couldn't see much through the window. Just blurred images of people walking past. Most of the time, he didn't know who they were. But he knew Robyn and he knew Lofty and he knew her.
Lying here, often all alone, there was little he could do but think, and much as he'd tried to chase the thoughts of Zoe from his mind, he'd realised pretty early on that it was impossible.
He turned her words over and over in his mind. Not just what she'd confessed to him, but everything he could remember since they'd first got together. Desperately looking for clues without knowing why.
But he found nothing. They said everything seemed obvious in retrospect, but nothing was obvious to Max.
Nothing but the fact that Zoe really had seemed to love him.
Cal didn't understand. He didn't understand a lot of things now. Ethan said it was because he wasn't well and it was going to take him a bit of time to get better. Cal's head ached all the time, even after he'd taken his painkillers, and it was hard to think when you had a headache.
He certainly had no idea what Honey was going on about. It didn't make sense. How could anyone want to break up with Ethan?
"It's just not working," said Honey. "I thought I'd do anything to make my dad proud and it turns out that isn't true. I can't sacrifice my whole future for him. It's not fair on me to be with a guy I'm not that into just because going out with a doctor would impress my dad."
"You're not into me?" Ethan could hardly get the words out. "Since when?"
"Since always, really," said Honey. "I mean, I do think you're hot. And I'd so much rather be with you than Cal or Dylan. But I want an exciting life, Ethan. It was okay when you were saving lives and running away from the police, but if you're going to spend your whole life sitting at home with Cal, I'm sorry, but that's not for me."
"So, you never liked me?" said Ethan. His eyes filled with tears.
Honey shrugged. "No point in pretending. Not really."
Cal stepped in front of Ethan. "Get out!"
Honey gave him a dismissive look. "Ethan, please keep him under control."
"Get out and leave my brother alone!" shouted Cal. "He's worth a million of you."
Honey didn't leave, but she did take a step back. Cal slammed the door in her face and turned to his tearful brother.
"Come on, Ethan," said Cal. He put his arm around Ethan and walked him over to the sofa. "She's stupid. You'll meet someone much nicer than her. " He went to get Ethan a tissue, trying to ignore the pain in his head. Ethan needed him. "Here you are, Ethan. Don't cry." He gave Ethan a big hug. "It's okay, Ethan. She's just horrible. You're the most interesting person ever and I love you."