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Chapter 30: Daisies

December, Seventh Year, Christmas Holidays

"Santana, get up!" my father snapped. "You're meant to be helping, not lazing about on the floor with Brittany! You're in everyone's way!"

Another voice chimed in.

"Santana, escúchame! Necesito-"

"Abuela, speak in English!" I protested, piling the flowers Brittany had dropped back into her arms and standing as I tried to contain my temper. She knew Brittany was here. She knew Brittany didn't speak Spanish. I'd told her three times already. Only Brittany's hand resting lightly on my arm stopped me from saying anything else.

"Santana, have you brought in those flowers yet?"

I groaned under my breath, spinning around to shout across the room.

"We're coming, mamá!"

I scooped up my own flowers that I'd placed on the table for safekeeping then hurried into the dining room. My mother and the half-dozen house elves abuela had brought with her were setting the table and decorating.

"I hate New Year's," I grumbled quietly to Brittany. She just smiled back at me.

"It'll be over soon. Only a week until Hogwarts."

I opened my mouth to reply, but mamá interrupted me as she rushed forward.

"Finally! I need you to give those to the two house elves at the end of the table just there, and then go up into the attic and find the spare cutlery case - we're missing a few forks. Oh, and there are some vases up there as well, you know the blue ones? Get them too."

I nodded wearily as we deposited the flowers, but Brittany was already pulling at my hand to hurry me out of the room.

"Britt?"

"Come on!"

I followed her up several flights of stairs without bothering to question her further - she'd tell me when she was ready, or I'd work it out for myself. A few more house elves I didn't recognise bustled past hovering boxes twice the size of them, but by the time we reached the attic we were alone. The trapdoor was already open and the ladder down, so Brittany started climbing up straight away.

I waited until she had disappeared into the darkness before moving after her. Light shone down suddenly and I peered up to see Brittany waiting for me at the top of the ladder with a smile and a lit wand. She reached down, her hand catching under my arm as soon as I was close enough and hefting me up the rest of the way.

"This is gonna be so much fun!" she said. I could see the cutlery case and vases to the right where they normally were, but she was pulling me in the opposite direction.

"Mamá's going to be mad," I warned her quietly, but she just turned to shake her head at me.

"We won't be that long. But I've never got to come into your attic. We should have before!"

"Why? It's just a load of junk up here," I replied, standing over Brittany as she squatted next to a familiar-looking box.

"Yeah, our junk! Like - look! That snitch Charity caught, and we had to hide!"

She held up a very battered ball that was now more rusted than golden, with one of its wings missing. I smiled at the memory, kneeling next to her to dig through the box of stuff I mostly recognised from our 2nd and third years and finally understanding her excitement.

"You remember this?" I asked, holding up my old Herbology textbook. She grinned, grabbing it from me and rifling through to the back pages covered in games of noughts and crosses and doodles of various people.

"Is that Rachel?" she giggled, pointing to one caricature that had a gag drawn onto it. I looked a bit closer.

"I think… oh, it might be Harmony. Except… no, that nose is definitely Berry's," I decided, flicking through a few more pages before returning to hunting through the box. Brittany was right - we should have come up here sooner. "Your flowers!" I exclaimed, pulling several slightly wilted large daisies from one corner. The smile slid off my face when I remembered the circumstances of how I'd got them. Brittany obviously remembered too, but she was still smiling.

"You told me I wasn't allowed to give you flowers for Valentine's Day. So I just hid them in your dorm the day before. I can't believe you kept them," she murmured.

"I can't believe that spell is still working," I replied quietly, touching one of the petals. I ignored her last sentence - I didn't deserve any recognition for keeping the flowers when I'd just yelled at her at the time. The petal felt a little rubbery, but still alive. "How did that examiner only give you an A for Charms?"

She shrugged. "They don't test how long you can make spells last for, just how well you can do them. And I'm no good at the fancy charms, you know that."

"Well you should've got an O, no question," I replied firmly, making a decision as I did. "I'm going to put these in water and take them back to Hogwarts with me. I know I didn't say so back then, and I'm sorry, but thanks Brittany. They're gorgeous," I told her, shuffling closer on my knees to kiss her softly. Her fingers moved up to run through my hair, pulling me a little closer.

"Santana, hurry up and get downstairs!"

My mother's voice echoed through the attic and I automatically broke away from Brittany, jumping to my feet to search for the source of the voice. I realised a moment later it was just magically projected, but it still took a few seconds to slow my breathing. Brittany was behind me straight away, her arms wrapping around me and holding me close.

"It's okay, remember? She knows."

"I know. I just… I still don't want her seeing us. And it could have been papá or abuela."

"But it wasn't, so there's no point worrying about that now. We should go down though, before they do come investing." I sighed, not bothering to correct her, and she dropped a kiss on my shoulder. "It'll be over soon. And we can come up here another time and look through this stuff."

I nodded, moving back towards the trapdoor to collect the cutlery and vases with her right behind me, the flowers still clutched in one hand.

"So, uh… your grandma's a bit scary."

I tried to keep my eye roll to a minimum so no one else would notice it.

"You don't say."

"I'm serious," Puck replied. I reached for my wine glass and took a large gulp, putting it down again quickly under the sharp gaze of my mother. "All I did was ask if I was sitting next to you and she gave me this long speech about the Lopez pedigree, asking me all about my dad like I have a clue if he was pureblood or not."

"Well obviously you passed the test, or I'd still be sitting next to Brittany," I told him sourly, glancing down the table to where she was sat with Quinn. Of course Puck had to make this dinner even more unbearable by splitting us up - not to mention bringing up yet more reasons my abuela would hate the idea of me being with Britt.

"I just sold her some line about how my granddad was all about blood purity when he was alive so he must have been or my mum wouldn't have been allowed to marry him. She bought it straight away."

"Great."

I reached for my wine again, letting out a sigh of relief when I noticed the first house elves coming through with food for the table. Maybe he'd stop talking soon and pay attention to his stomach instead.

"So how long's this party meant to go on for anyway?"

"You've been before, Puck."

"Yeah, but that was a whole year ago and it's all a bit hazy after I spiked the punch. The adults leave us alone after dinner though, right? We get left to our own devices?" he smirked, prodding my side playfully with his elbow.

I did my best to keep a neutral expression, hiding most of it behind my wine glass and reaching immediately for the chicken when a platter was placed to my left. I glanced down the table at Brittany again and found her already watching me. She smiled, but it wasn't like her usual smiles; she was as unhappy as I was about me sitting next to Puck. Probably it had reminded her I hadn't quite followed up on that part of my promise yet. I'd thought it would be the easiest, but Puck was irritatingly insistent. I tried to send her an encouraging smile in response, but she still didn't look particularly happy. I forced myself to tune back into what Puck was saying when I realised he was still talking. If he really had convinced abuela he was pureblood enough, she'd probably be keeping an eye on us and I really couldn't deal with a lecture on being polite right now.

"-changed much?"

"…What?"

"Your bedroom. I haven't been up there for so long, I was wondering if it had changed. Any new obstacles to navigate around," he teased.

"Change the record, Puck. This is meant to be a fancy dinner, my family won't appreciate it if they overhear you," I muttered. It was the only excuse I could think of that might shut him up. He leaned in closer.

"Well I guess I'll just have to investigate for myself later, huh?"

I stuffed a forkful of salad into my mouth to stop myself from yelling at him in response. How hard was it for him to get the message? Was I really going to have to spell it out for him?

The rest of the dinner was predictably uncomfortable. Abuela and papá made long speeches thanking everyone for coming, and then mamá did her obligatory political talk listing all the great things the Ministry had done in the past year. Brittany was looking at me the whole time, and I wondered if she was aware of Puck's wandering hands under the table and my failed attempts to ward him off. He seemed to think it was some sort of game and that I really didn't care about him groping me in front of my family - and Brittany. I stopped looking at her after a while; the expression on her face just made me feel guiltier, even though I was trying to stop him.

By the time mamá had concluded her speech and invited everyone through to the front room for champagne to await the stroke of midnight, I was ready to snap. With everyone else already bustling through, I grabbed Puck and pulled him to the nearest door, not bothering to take any care with my nails digging into his arm. I dragged him through the empty corridor and up the stairs at the back of the house I knew no one would be using. When I felt his hand sneak out again I slapped it away and spun.

"Stop it! Keep your hands to yourself!" I shouted.

He looked shocked for a second, before rolling his eyes.

"Geez, change of heart much?"

"Change- change of heart? What the fuck do you think slapping your hands all evening meant? What-"

I stopped suddenly when I heard voices nearby, instead grabbing his arm again and leading him to my bedroom. I fished my wand out of my pocket and made the appropriate flourish.

"Muffliato."

Returning my attention to Puck only made me sigh again - his arms were crossed and he was smirking at me with one eyebrow raised.

"So, you want to take charge, huh? I could be up for that."

Only the thought of having to explain an unconscious Puck stopped me from hexing him right then. I kept my wand in my hand, not even trying to tame the sparks that were flying out of the end as I walked in a short circle before turning back to him, sending him my fiercest glare. I had to make this clear.

"Listen to me, okay? Listen to the words I'm saying and don't interpret them how you want. Just fucking listen."

"Alright, alright, I'm listening," he said, sauntering across the room to sit on my bed. Of course that's what he would do. I stared down at the carpet, taking a breath to calm myself before speaking.

"We don't work, Puck. We never have."

He sighed. "Santana, are you getting all emotional again? I thought we decided just sex, no feelings? We work great in bed."

"From your point of view, sure," I muttered, shaking my head when he frowned. That wasn't the discussion I wanted to have. "I mean - that's got to stop. The sex. Alright? We can't, not anymore."

"What? But why?"

"Because…" Maybe it was better to just give him the truth. The edited truth, at least. "Because there's someone else."

"Who? It's none of the quidditch guys in our year, they're always asking me how I manage to still hook up with you when you turn them all down at parties. And they're the only decent guys really. Oh man, it's not someone like Jacob is it?"

I froze, staring at him. "Jacob? Are you crazy?"

"Well good! I don't think I could take being rejected for that kid."

"No, no, Puck. That's just… ugh, that would never happen. Trust me."

"Well who is it then?"

"None of your business," I snapped.

"Except it is, 'cause you're dumping me for him."

"It's not dumping if it's just sex."

"I'm still losing out though," he argued, folding his arms. "Just tell me."

I scowled, turning around to look at my desk instead of him. I noticed the large picture of Brittany and me straight away, framed and placed right next to the vase of daisies I'd put there earlier. She grinned up at me, winking occasionally before leaning in to kiss my cheek. What would she want me to do? That was obvious. Whatever I needed to, to stop him going after me. And she wanted everyone to know about us. Of course she'd want me to tell him. But the memory of all the comments he'd made after those threesome rumours was making me more nervous. I focused my eyes on Brittany in the photo, trying to work up the courage.

"If you don't tell me I'll just keep bugging you. This guy can't have anything on me."

That made up my mind. I didn't turn around, just raised my voice with my eyes still trained on Brittany's face. She smiled, encouraging me as I spoke.

"It's not a guy."

"Lopez, if you're dumping me for some werewolf or whatever-"

"It's Brittany."

There was silence. Everything was silent, except for the quick beating of my heart. I turned slowly, clasping my hands behind me to stop them shaking where he could see. He was just staring at me, his eyes wide and mouth open.

"Brittany?"

I nodded, biting the inside of my lip.

"You… oh my God… you… Santana!" He stood up suddenly, eyes even wider. He looked appalled, and my stomach churned as I braced myself for whatever he was going to say next. "All that stuff I said to you! When we started hooking up again last year, about how you should stay the night with me because if it was with Brittany people would talk again and think like - oh God. I didn't - I didn't realise, at all. I'm sorry, I swear. I never woulda said that if I'd known!" he protested. I wasn't sure what to say in response. I'd never heard him come out with so many apologies in one go before – and he wasn't done yet. "I'm sorry, Santana! Seriously, I'll back off."

"Thanks," I muttered, but of course he had to ruin it.

"But hey, if you ever do want another threesome, I'll be the most supportive-" Sparks shot from my wand again and he held up his hands quickly. "Joking! I'll get the other guys to back off too, although they probably will try and go for a threesome-"

"No," I interrupted. "Don't tell people. I'm not ready for everyone to know yet. I just had to stop this whole thing with you and me."

"Sure, Santana. No talking. I hope I'm free to imagine though, because without you I'm gonna be alone more nights than I'm used to and I'll need a little something-"

"You're disgusting," I told him firmly, but it was hard not to smile when he was grinning down at me like that. Puck could be a complete perv sometimes, but before all of that he'd been my friend. I knew if he promised to keep a secret, he wouldn't tell a soul.

She'd lied. She hadn't mean to, but she'd done it anyway. She promised me she'd stop hooking up with Puck, but she'd gone off with him right in front of me just because he was bugging her like normal. I split away from the crowd of adults to slip through the glass door into the garden. I didn't want to be inside when they rejoined the party, and have to listen to whatever excuse Santana came up with when her mum asked where she'd been.

I'd thought this party would be better than last year. Then, she'd been so terrified of anyone guessing that she'd spent the whole evening talking with her parents' friends who she normally hated. This year, I'd thought it would be different. Her mum knew about us, and sometimes I'd catch her smiling in our direction when I was making Santana laugh. Santana had been calmer than usual this afternoon when were helping her family get ready - and she'd put those flowers up in her room.

I'd never thought she'd keep them. Back then I didn't even know the significance - I'd just wanted to give her something nice for Valentines, because everyone else gave stuff to people they thought were pretty on that day. But I'd figured that if I could hide them and she found them, the day before, it wouldn't count like she said it would. But she'd still shouted, and I'd never seen the flowers again until today. I got it, now. I got why she'd been scared for people to see me giving her flowers, but none of that mattered because she'd kept them.

So now they were on her desk, opposite the bed she was currently fucking Puck in. I slumped down onto the lawn. My hand skimmed through the grass, but there were no daisies there. I lifted my hand to my face instead and felt dampness as I pulled my cardigan tighter around me. It wasn't as cold as it had been the previous week, but it was still enough to make me shiver. For a few seconds I considered walking around the house and climbing the tree to look through her window, but I dismissed the idea straight away. I wouldn't be able to keep quiet watching them, and I'd probably end up falling out of the tree.

"Brittany?"

I twisted my head a little bit so I could see Quinn standing nearby. I made eye contact with her before turning back to stare into the garden, bending my legs more so I could rest my chin on my knees. I heard soft rustling, then Quinn was settling down beside me.

"My parents started using me as trophy child so I thought I'd make better use of my time and come find you," she explained softly.

I nodded to show I understood, but I knew she must be able to see the tears still trickling down my face. She didn't say anything though - she just put her arm around my shoulders and pulled me into a half-hug. I sniffed, nestling my face into her neck as I whispered.

"She went off with Puck."

"I know."

More tears fell and I gulped before speaking again. "She's not supposed to. New Year's is a special day, right? Special days you're meant to spend with your girlfriend, not… not your fuckbuddy."

"I know you're going to disagree, but Santana's kind of a bitch sometimes. She does what she wants," Quinn replied. I shook my head against her shoulder.

"No, no, she was doing what I wanted. She was getting better, she was telling people. But… but she promised she'd stop with Puck as well, and she hasn't. Why won't he leave her alone? She's mine, not his. She's never been his."

"Because Puck does whatever he wants as well. It's why they're in Slytherin, Britt."

I didn't know how I was meant to reply to that, so I didn't. I stayed quiet, curled up in Quinn's arms and trying to stop crying, stop imagining what they were doing up there. Occasionally I'd hear noise drift across to us from the house, but it was nothing I could make out.

"I think I want to go home," I whispered after about five minutes of silence. The wind had picked up and it was getting harder to keep my shivering under control. I could feel Quinn shaking a bit as well and I didn't want her to catch a cold just from being out here with me.

"I'll tell Mrs. Lopez you weren't feeling well," she said, shuffling as I pulled away from her then standing as well. "I'll try and talk to Santana too, but - you know what she's like. She'll probably either ignore me or tell me to shut up in case someone hears."

"Okay. Thanks Quinn," I said as she hugged me one last time before turning back to the house. She smiled, waving with her fingers as she re-entered through the glass doors. I stood there for a few seconds before turning and making my way around the outside of the house. I couldn't help looking up at Santana's window, and saw the light was on. She was still with him.

I could hear parties happening in other houses that I passed but I didn't stop to see which. I plucked my key out of my cardigan pocket as I approached my own house, opening it and then locking it behind me. It was quiet inside. My parents and sister had gone to our grandparents' for the night and wouldn't be back for a while. I thought about going up to my bedroom, but there was too much Santana up there. I wandered into the front room instead, slumping down on the sofa.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the sight of Santana dragging Puck out of the dining room like she couldn't get away from me fast enough. She'd barely even looked at me at the end. I'd been watching her the whole time, and Puck. I'd seen him touching her under the table. The memory made me burn inside, and for a moment I thought I might be sick.

I'd thought she was done with him. She'd even told her mum - how could she do that for me and still act like going off with Puck was okay? That hurt me more than hiding. Every time I saw them together it hurt.

More tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes, even though they were shut. I could feel them, tracing lines onto my face. How could she do this? How could she get my hopes up by doing all that other stuff and then go off with him when I was right there? I knew it wasn't really fair to think like that, I knew she'd told people because of me - and of course, I'd done the same thing to her for that week I was with Artie. But that was a week, and this had been going on for a year, and it felt like she'd never stop.

I sat bolt upright when I heard a sudden hammering at the door, my hand flying to where my wand was tucked in the side of my dress. Was someone trying to get into the house? Were we being burgled?

"Brittany! Brittany, are you there? Let me in, please!"

Perhaps a burglar would have been better - I could have got rid of them with my wand. I couldn't do that to Santana. I rose stiffly from the sofa, creeping to the hallway so I could peer round at the door. Maybe I could just pretend I was asleep and she'd go away?

"Britt, I know you're there. Please let me in, you've got it all wrong."

"I don't want to talk to you!" I called back thickly, gulping away more tears. Didn't she know I'd go back to her eventually? Couldn't she just give me the time to get my head around the fact I'd always have to deal with Puck on the side? I could see her silhouette shaking its head through the glass of the door.

"I spoke to Quinn, she said what you thought - but you're wrong, Brittany. I didn't sleep with Puck, I swear. I wouldn't do that to you."

I sniffed, rubbing at my cheeks as I took a few steps closer to the door.

"You have before. You've gone off with him loads of times."

"I know. I know, and I'm sorry, but I didn't this time. I stopped it. I couldn't deal with him grabbing me all night, so I explained. I told him about us, Britt. We're done, okay? We're not going to do that anymore, he agreed."

I couldn't work out if she was telling the truth through the glass. I stepped forward again, fishing the key out of my pocket and unlocking the door, pulling on the handle a moment later to reveal her standing there. She walked through straight away, wrapping me into a hug. But I still wasn't sure, so I pushed her back to look at her properly.

"Really? You're done with him? Forever?"

"Forever and ever," she whispered, looking me straight in the eye. I stared back for only a second before relaxing, pulling her back into the hug. It was done. I'd never have to burn up watching them flirt or leave together again. Her arms tightened around me and I realised I was crying again, but then we both jumped when a bang sounded behind her. I tried to pull her further into the house while searching for the noise, but then I saw the sparks blossoming in the sky. More fireworks started going off and I turned back to Santana, keeping her close with my hands pressed against her back.

"Happy New Year," she murmured, already leaning in.

"Best New Year's ever," I whispered as I met her lips.