The Hopeful Lights of Winter

Disclaimer: I still don't own it, and I am back to being a poor student with bills, so I'm even less worth suing.

AN: Castle and Beckett try to navigate the holiday season and a fake separation at the same time. A Winter Ficathon story, and a nightly thank you gift for those involved in the Possibility4Joy project.

The truth is that yesterday she got in at a time that would barely qualified is Friday, 1:00 in the morning without having gone to bed the night before, so she hadn't been looking all that carefully at the plethora of decorations that the family had set out in her temporary space until she woke later that day.

She was surprised to find that some of the things in the little hotel suite were things she had brought to the loft last Christmas, finally adding some of her family decorations to theirs, pulling the forgotten things out of storage for the first time in well over a decade.

When she had asked Castle about it, he said that they chose things from both collections, because they wanted her to feel comfortable and at home in either location, and they wanted to feel at home with her the same way. It was sweet, all of them were sweet.

But it wasn't until she finally made up the long trek up the back stairs on Saturday morning and entered the loft but she appreciated the detailed effort everyone seemed to have made on her behalf. The decorations in the loft were like a more intense version of the ones in the suite, the pattern recognizable to her now. And, plenty of her and things were still on display in the living room. It was like the whole thing had been planned and mapped so that both locations would feel familiar and welcoming. Castle was right. Home in both places.

She set her keys on the table by the door, and she had shed coat. Then she set out to find castle, but ended up coming to an unexpected stop when she saw Alexis curled up on the sofa with a book and a soft throw.

The redhead looked up "hey Kate," she said.

"Hey," Kate offered nervously. There was nothing awkward in the young women's greeting, but given everything that it happened in the last couple of months, she wasn't exactly expecting the same relationship they have begun to develop before she left, and she was still cautious despite the help Castle's daughter has pitched in over recent weeks.

Alexis let her eyes trail around the room as well, as if also taking in what Kate was seeing, giving the moment before getting into conversation, the older woman supposed.

"I think we did a pretty good job of scaling the place at the hotel to match don't you, and obviously we had more than enough decorations. You wouldn't even miss them around here, Dad has so many. I still had to get him to hold back a couple of boxes so your stuff wouldn't get crowded out. Once I pointed it out though, it was like his personal mission. You know Dad."

Kate laughed softly. "Yeah, I do. You all did an amazing job. I don't even know what to say. I was so out of it when I got in last night I barely have a chance to really look at it with your dad, and then I was back at work, but I did a walk-through before I came over and really looked. It was amazing. And then, here it just feels like an extension and..." She sighed, because really, she didn't have enough words at all. "Thank you."

Alexis nodded and then seemed to startle. "Oh I almost forgot! How are the cookies? I feel like I've almost got it, maybe."

Kate smiled. "They were great Alexis, but your father said maybe you wanted to do a trial run together this weekend for a big swap or something?" She bit her lip and hoped that she wasn't pushing too hard with the girl. But Castle had mentioned it, and she didn't want to give the impression that she was uninterested.

"Ah, yeah if you don't mind. It's kind of a swap party mixed with a bake sale, so they needed like, a ton, and you're kind of freakishly good at it."

Kate laughed. "Sure. I just I know things have been..."

Alexis stood. "I'm not 17 anymore, Kate. And, I'm a daughter too."

Beckett opened her mouth, then closed it, swallowing.

"When Dad was new at working with you, things would come up with your," Alexis paused. "Personal stuff would come up, and I'd say to Dad, I couldn't imagine how it was for you. But then last summer..."

Kate couldn't help but protest against the image the words created. "He came home, Alexis." He did. She had to keep reminding herself.

The redhead nodded. "But I don't think I expected him to. I couldn't imagine that if he was alive he'd stay away, from you, from me. One day I asked Gram, how long we were supposed to just keep looking before..." She trailed off, looking away before meeting Kate's eye to finish.

She said you would know. But then you just, never stopped. You never gave up. And - you never do something like that and then just walk away. So, whatever it is that you guys are doing? You must have a reason. Which is what I told Dad when you disappeared a few months back."

"You did?" Castle hadn't mentioned anything about it, but things had been strange between them there for a while.

"Yeah. And on the one hand, I appreciate the effort to keep him out of it, because I want him safe too. I was there for that this summer and I get it. But he's miserable without you, and I'm not crazy about that either. So, if it's better, the two of you doing this however you need to do it, that works too. Just- let me help if you need it."

Kate sighed. "That's sweet but you shouldn't - it's not safe and your father won't like it."

Alexis shrugged. "He'll get over it. Because I'm a daughter too."