Next guest: I just couldn't imagine Loki saying boyfriend or girlfriend so I thought soulmates worked nicely. And your welcome for the updates. :)

Poodles warriors: sweet and fuzzy. I also enjoy fun smut, reading and writing it.

Trigger Moonshield: yes happy Armageddon! Happy you all made it to another day and another chapter. :)

Chapter 28: Hesitation

Loki watched his Cephera write excitedly in her journal. He allowed her the secrets she kept within. Though he was sure at this point he knew them all anyway, or at least the ones that mattered.
She had spent the entire week asking him anything and everything she could think to ask. She was determined to have him placed before her, an open book. He in turn had also taken advantage and had asked questions if his though she had a lot less life to talk about then he had.
She wrote vigorously every night before bed in the leather book Kat had given her. "Why must you write in that so often. I am sure anything you write in there may be also shared with me." He told her. "I have a very good memory."
"Well I don't. I'm keeping notes." He gave her a quizzical look. "I have found a way to hide that which I do not wish people to see within these pages. I've been making note of all the things I have asked you and your answers so that I may never forget them." He rolled his eyes and let himself fall back against his pillows.
He pondered if all girls did such silly things. "I hope this spell of yours holds true. After all I am not ready to leave this secret life behind. I find it very exciting." He didn't look to see the face she gave him but he knew she had made one all the same.

***

Cephera stared down at the open journal. On one page she was writing and on the other sat the reply letter from her sister.

My dear, sweet, naive silly little sister,

I would like to starts with...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR, FUCK HIM ALREADY!
There I've said it. Who cares what people would want to label you as. Who gives a shit what anyone else thinks. Are you happy and comfortable? Do you want to give yourself to him?
As father says there is nothing wrong with carnal lust and enjoying passions with others. I know he's a womanizing, sex fiend but he's right (don't tell him I said that.)
All that matters is how you feel and what you want. I think it's a miracle you lasted this long. I commend you for lasting this long but for FUCKS SAKE just give it up already.
I love you and miss you too. See you in a little less then six months. And I swear if you come home a virgin (without a very good reason) my disappointment will hold no bounds.
Father sends his regards and says he hopes you're studying your magic just as much as you're studying your new, or should I say only, boy toy.

Seraphina

Cephera sighed shaking her head. She could hear her sisters voice in her head saying every word. She had received the later the day before and hesitated twice now.
She didn't know what her problem was. She was sure she wanted him in that manner, was sure she was ready but her hesitation angered her and frustrated her.
She felt the hesitation was coming from some unknown trepidation. It bothered her she couldn't put her finger on it. There was still a few things she hadn't told him. Like her being a princess, or who her father was. Her father was a pretty well known guy but not for good reasons.
She was contemplating all day telling him but had kept coming up with excuses not to. She was half afraid he would think she was trying to trap him. By not telling him she was a princess and then sleeping with him to force from him some kind of marriage. This was the only thing she could think of for her hesitation and even then it sounded absurd even in her head.
She closed her journal and left it in the floor. Loki never bothered touching it and it didn't matter if he did. Her sisters letter would only serve to reveal to him her wants followed by her misgivings and then she would be forced to come out with it.
But of course he stayed laying on his bed comfortably. When she stood she noticed his breathing was deep and moving to a steady rhythm. He had fallen asleep. She pursed her lips. Just when she was about to force herself to open her mouth he had create an excuse for her not too. She didn't want to disturb him.
Cephera sat on the edge of the bed looking down at his peaceful sleeping face. She was naked as she normally was in the confines of his room. The soft sheets were smooth against her ass. Shiaji was softly purring and laying upside down on Loki's pillow not far from his head.
It was one of those moments you wished you could take a picture. Loki himself was half on his pillow and half on hers. She reach her hand out and with a feather like touch she caressed his face. He didn't budge. He rarely did. Loki was a heavy sleeper.
But she was sure just saying his name would rouse him. She had never tried it. Her mouth opened a pinch and shut again. There it was, her hesitation. She was a coward. She stroked her knuckles down his cheek and gnawed on her bottom lip.
Why did sex have to be so difficult. Why did life? Why did anything really? She glared at nothing in particular and stood sharply. She paced near his bed her feet making very little noise on the rug that surrounded the bed itself. It was tickling against her feet but she was beyond feeling giddy tonight.
She chewed at her thumb nail while clenching her other hand into fist. She was beyond angry with herself. The more she thought about it the more irritated she became. She stopped pacing and gave a curt nod of her head. She had to do this!