On the bed is a gathering of soft stuffed animals that provide minimal comfort and no reassurance. No amount of cute posters featuring sparkly-eyed marine life can guard you from the things you see. Once upon a time, sleep was a thing you enjoyed: you would cuddle with those stuffed animals and smile at the Squiddle posters until consciousness was swept away by the prince of dreamland. You could feel the warm sun that your mind produced in its comatose state and you could smell the daffodils and tulips and buttercups. There would be tea parties with stout little people on a table forged entirely of gold with you in the seat of honor. Those dreams have become a thing of the past but you cling to those memories because it's your lifeline, the only thing keeping you sane anymore. Lately you have been scared to death of sleep; the times that your body starts to feel weak and your legs slowly give out from under you are the times that you pray this is the kind of sleep you won't wake up from. Maybe this dream will be one that lasts for eternity, where you'll drink tea again and wait for your friends to join you after their lives are complete. That wishful thinking is always crushed.
It's crushed under images like you've never seen before - visions of violence, blood, faces that feel familiar twisted in agony while you're forced to watch because there's nothing you can do, you're just a lonely spectre in a chaos of black nothingness speckled with stars. Sometimes they swirl and turn into ghastly green spirals that confuse you. Your name is Jade Harley and you are sweaty-palm, shaky-knees, heart-racing, lump-in-throat terrified of space.
Space is where all the darkness and horrible things happen and you will have none of it between you and the stuffed lion-man that you're clutching so hard to your chest. You've told your friends about these nightmares but you don't think they understand just how nightmarish they really are. At school you try to act natural by smiling and showing only the least bit of concern, but when you get home and your meds start to wear off, you do as many happy things as you possibly can before the darkness overtakes you. The lion-man's beady eyes smile up at you. It's eight o'clock, which is usually when the narcolepsy tries to strike. You always make sure you're on your bed at this time just in case it hits suddenly and you'll have a safe landing, because nowadays instead of coming slowly, it barges into your head without warning. You've grown to hate this bed.
The anticipation is eating you alive, but your eyes don't feel droopy. Something in this room has to keep you content if only for a minute. The lunchbox themed laptop at the foot of the bed looks promising. Maybe someone is online? You reach for it with newfound hope- Dave and John are almost always online. They can distract you.
With the lunchtop seated comfortably in your lap, you open Pesterchum and find that the friends available are John, Rose, Dave, and it looks like some of the trolls are starting to log on as well. No sign of Karkat. He's been more snippy than usual lately and you don't want to force your own issues on him while he's having such a hard time anyway.
-gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 20:01-
GG: hey there dave!
TG: hey harley hows it kicking
GG: fine. just bored
GG: it was so cool seeing you in school today
GG: i don't care how much swag you think you have, you're adorable!
TG: jade no
TG: swag and adorable must never be in the same sentence its like a crime
TG: i dont want to call the cops on you because youre my friend and all but you cant be saying things like that
TG: just keep your head down and dont say anything and i think we can let it slide
GG: thank goodness i'm too young for jail!
GG: do you like school so far?
TG: its alright yeah
TG: actually i was going to talk to you about something
TG: me and rose are going to that asl club and i was thinking hey why not invite everyone
TG: im talking to john about it and i think hes going too
GG: it sounds fun! i was hoping you would go actually. it just seems easier.
TG: yeah
TG: cant be texting forever
GG: i didn't know what to do actually
GG: i didn't want to be rude by ignoring you but i don't have a lot of experience with... this
GG: so i'm really sorry for being weird!
TG: i dont blame you shits kind of difficult
GG: can i ask why you never learned it before?
TG: dont know
TG: a strider thing probably
GG: haha, dummy.
GG: there's nothing uncool about it
GG: in fact it's really cool!
GG: i'm excited now!
TG: everyone watch out jades got a head full of hype and feet full of happy
TG: gonna tap dance her way into the room and sign the fuck out of some language
TG: whoops its time for dinner
TG: ill be back later
GG: dave wait
TG: sup
GG: um
GG: does your bro cook a lot?
TG: simple shit why
GG: i could bring some veggies and stuff from the garden
TG: sounds cool
TG: but tonight were living off of cheap spaghetti
TG: im starving so brb
GG: ooh i have tomatoes! fresh sauce.
Dave must have left his computer already because he doesn't reply. You were trying to keep him at his desk to stall from sleep more, but to no avail. You are left alone in your room, the Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff poster from Dave mocking you with their wide smiles. Thankfully there are more people to talk to. Rose might even be able to calm you down - she's good at applying logic to things. Sometimes you feel like you might overwhelm her with your whining so you try not to bother her too much.
-gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 20:05-
GG: so i hear that dave is joining the sign language club!
TT: Oh yes, he told me earlier. I'm glad.
GG: me too
GG: i think it'll be fun
TT: It will definitely be interesting. I was always interested in learning it but now I have a reason to apply myself. It'll be beneficial for all of us.
GG: yeah!
GG: hey rose?
GG: i actually wanted to talk to you about something
GG: you know how i used to tell you about those nightmares i had?
TT: Yes. Have they gotten worse?
GG: ...a lot
GG: at first they were only about us. but now there are more people in them, like ones that i don't even know
GG: and they keep getting more confusing and creepy
GG: i thought maybe my medicine was doing it but if that was the case it wouldn't get worse right?
TT: I would assume so. There's definitely a problem if they're getting worse, Jade. Perhaps you should see a doctor about it. A weaker medicine might be in order. Of course, I'm no doctor.
TT: But I hate to hear that you're still having trouble with this. What does your grandfather think?
GG: he's worried
GG: we don't know what to do. weaker medicine might not hold me over all day unless i took it during school too
GG: i mean i'm definitely willing to try it! anything to make this stop.
TT: It couldn't hurt. Please know that you can always talk to me, by the way. I'd rather you not keep things like this to yourself. Especially if it's been getting worse.
GG: okay :(
GG: thanks rose
TT: Try a relaxing bedtime ritual. Calm background music maybe. I'll try researching this some.
GG: i will! talk to you later!
TT: Sleep well.
-gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 20:09-
Even if she can't do anything right this moment, Rose is always helpful. She reminds you of a mother- not the kind of mother she has, but more of a mother bear, always doing what she can to assist her family.
You think about talking to John too, but suddenly your eyes feel droopy and panic surges through you. You lay the lunchtop carefully at the foot of your bed, too scared to waste time trying Rose's music idea, and curl up under the blankets with your stuffed animals. Their smiling faces remind you of your friends and how happy you all were together at school. Pulling them closer, you bury your face in their fake fur and hold them tight. Moments pass and you drift further away from reality: your bedroom door opens and Grandpa walks in to check on you. He sits on the edge of your bed and you can feel his spectacled eyes staring at you for a moment before he turns his head toward your laptop. It used to bother you that he would look at your stuff, but this situation has occurred so many times that you don't care anymore. It was how he first found out about the nightmares. You can tell he's trying to act like he isn't reading part of your conversation with Rose. He picks up the computer and plugs it into the charger in the wall, then classical music starts playing from it and he sets it on the floor by your bed. A small smile tugs at the corner of your mouth because well, maybe it's a good thing that Grandpa looks at your stuff sometimes. He leans over and his moustache hairs brush against your forehead when he plants a kiss there. Then Bec trots into the room and leaps up onto your bed, laying against your backside. Your eyes are closed by the time Grandpa stands up and suddenly you're entrenched in darkness.
This dream is short and features more people you don't immediately recognize. There are trolls - their skin is gray and they have bright horns. You've seen them walking outside at night sometimes when you look out your window, but you've never been close to one. The ones in your dream are vivid and wild-looking. The first one is tall and looks almost literally like a skeleton, with white face paint, crazy hair, and purple shorts that would make you uncomfortable if you weren't distracted by how sinister his facial expression looks. The aura around him flashes magenta and indigo.
And then there's a smaller troll standing in front of him, hunched over and gripping its head in agony, with horns that are tiny and dull. You can almost feel your heart skip a beat and your own voice yells "Karkat!" at you, but you've never seen Karkat before. Is this really him? You have to help him. You have to stop the skeleton troll. Maybe if you reach out, you can just...
Bright red liquid pours over your vision. When it clears, you're in complete blackness and there isn't a single star in sight this time. Your hands feel wet. Looking at them, they start to shake because they're covered in red, and you immediately recognize it as blood. It isn't yours.
You awake with an alarmed gasp and Bec jumps to life beside you, his ears perked up and his head tilted. Though you're already out of the dream, the image is still branded on your mind and you can't help shouting Karkat's name as if he could hear you, come to you and tell you he's okay.
Reaching for the lunchtop with quivering hands, you check the time. It's five in the morning. There's a chance that he's still awake. Pesterchum doesn't open fast enough and you tap your fingers impatiently as it starts up, then you select Karkat's handle because thank goodness, he is online.
-gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 5:20-
GG: karkat!
CG: WHY ARE YOU UP SO EARLY. IT'S SATURDAY.
GG: i had to check on you
GG: there was this skeleton guy and you were hurt!
CG: GODDAMN IT, DID JOHN TALK TO YOU? I TOLD HIM TO KEEP HIS FUCKING PROTEIN CHUTE SHUT.
CG: FIGURES HE WOULD TELL ALL HIS LITTLE BUDDIES.
CG: I JUST CAN'T HAVE SOME FUCKING PRIVACY.
GG: you really are hurt?
GG: what happened? are you going to be okay?
CG: IT HURTS LESS THAN BEFORE BUT NOT BY MUCH. WHAT EXACTLY DID JOHN TELL YOU?
GG: oh, john didn't tell me anything... i had a dream. you were hurt by some skeleton troll guy and you were bleeding
GG: i had to make sure you were safe even though it was just a dream!
GG: but now i find out that it actually happened? this is terrible!
CG: I WAS BLEEDING? YOU SAW IT?
GG: well yeah i just said that
CG: ...OH.
CG: DO ME A FAVOR
CG: DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT. EVER.
CG: EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT YOUR DREAM, DON'T TELL THEM ABOUT... ME.
GG: um okay
GG: i won't?
GG: i mean i think you're pretty skinny even for a troll and john says so too, but it's not like anyone will make fun of you for it
CG: NOT MY APPEARANCE. I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BLOOD.
GG: you shouldn't keep this a secret. this is serious stuff! if that guy hurt you, you need to find help.
CG: NO YOU DUMBASS, THE BLOOD. DON'T TELL PEOPLE ABOUT MY BLOOD. IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE, IT'S A BLINDING SHADE OF RED.
CG: THAT MEANS IF ANYONE FINDS OUT, I'LL BE CULLED.
GG: oh! that's... awful
GG: i promise i won't tell a soul.
GG: i'm kind of freaking out though
GG: my dream came true. do you know how scary this is?
CG: IT CAME TRUE LIKE A DAY AGO. I TOLD YOU I'M GETTING BETTER. DON'T SOME HUMANS CLAIM TO HAVE SOME KIND OF STRONG BULLSHIT EMPATHIC POWERS? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THIS SOUNDS LIKE.
CG: ALL THAT HAPPENED WAS THAT MY HANDS WERE HURT. EVERYTHING ELSE IS FINE.
CG: ASIDE FROM GAMZEE AND HIS KEEPER BEING CREEPY AS FUCK THAT IS
CG: LIKE SERIOUSLY, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE GUY?
GG: i wish i knew!
GG: but i also see a lot of stuff in my dreams that i don't think has ever happened
GG: i see people that i don't even know
GG: and a lot of people dying...
CG: SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE COULD USE SOME SOPOR.
GG: i wonder if that would work
CG: THAT WAS ME BEING WITTY. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO CONSIDER IT.
GG: hey, it makes you sleep better! why couldn't it work for me?
CG: IT COULD BE POISONOUS TO HUMANS FOR ALL YOU KNOW. I'M NOT GOING TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR DEATH BY APPROVING OF THIS IDEA. I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANY SOPOR.
CG: AND NO ONE ELSE WILL EITHER.
CG: STICK TO YOUR HUMAN DRUGS, HARLEY.
GG: fine! ugh
GG: i'm going to walk bec or something.
GG: at least consider it! i'm too scared to sleep anymore
CG: NOPE, IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA.
-carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pesteringgardenGnostic [GG]at 5:29-
It seems that Karkat is still pissier than usual. You feel bad for him, but at the same time you do wish he would try to calm down a little. You think the sopor was a great idea. There's a chance it could be harmful, but at this point you're kind of desperate. If only you had a way of obtaining it.
For now you decide to clear your mind. First you go downstairs with Bec trailing behind you to take your medicine and get something for breakfast, then you take Bec out for an early morning walk.