I actually have plans for another chapter or so, just random plot bunnies which I can merge into a MASSIVE MUTANT PLOT BUNNY! :O
Anyway, I'm going to pop off and watch the new episode of Merlin now. Enjoy!
"I spy with my little eye, something beginning with 'M'"
Arthur glared at his three other (conscious) companions at the bottom of the cliff. Since Gwen had fallen down, Arthur's frustration levels had reached dangerously high levels, and he was currently prone to throwing small pebbles at Merlin's head whenever he opened his mouth to talk. Merlin had responded to this attack by starting a new round of 'I spy' as revenge. Arthur had to admit that he was rather surprised at the range of objects that Merlin had spotted at the base of the cliff, though he still doubted that the pale yellow flower growing between two nearby rocks was called the 'Prattus' flower. Merlin had insisted that it was a real flower, and as Arthur wasn't playing the game, his objection was irrelevant anyway.
"…Morgana?"
"Uh huh. Gwen, your turn."
"I spy with my little eye… something beginning with…-GWAINE!"
"Gwen, you only choose one letter, and anyway, there is no - GWAINE!"
There was a loud 'thump', and a rather dusty Gwaine landed in front of them, along with a small pile of dislodged cliff. Gwaine looked around at them all in mild bemusement.
"I could have sworn the ground was further away a few minutes ago…" Gwaine mused.
"Gwaine? Where did you come from?" Gwen asked, glancing up at the death-trap that was the cliff path.
"I'm not entirely sure" Gwaine admitted, looking up at the cliff himself "But I think I might have wandered off a cliff."
"He was looking for me, I think" Mordred told Gwen "I said I'd go to the tavern with him"
"Well at least this means we can finally get out of- Gwaine, are you drunk?" Arthur asked, as Gwaine burped loudly with breath that had a distinctly alcoholic smell to it.
"I was looking for Mordred" Gwaine said defensively "We said we'd go to the tavern, but he didn't show up so I went looking for him. I checked the tavern first. Very thoroughly."
"Do you think you could climb up to the rope?" Arthur asked quickly, trying to get a word in before Gwaine began to regale them with another of his drinking stories "because we've been trapped down here for hours, and it's starting to get dark now."
Gwaine looked up at the cliff pensively for a couple of seconds, frowning in concentration before he finally answered. "Probably"
Arthur grinned in obvious relief, but Merlin was looking slightly put out. It seemed to Arthur that Merlin had been enjoying himself immensely ever since he'd tumbled off that God-forsaken ledge, especially since Aithusa had arrived. Not to mention the fact that Arthur had (mostly) forgiven him for using magic under his nose for more than 5 years. Merlin looked happier than he had done in years. 'Then again' Arthur thought, internally smirking 'We'll see how happy he is when he cleans the stables when we finally get back, because if he hadn't fallen we wouldn't be in this whole mess in the first place'
Arthur turned to Gwaine, who still hadn't moved towards the cliff and the rope. If anything he looked like he was making himself comfortable on the rock he was sitting on.
"Are you going to get that rope or not?" Arthur asked after about 2 minutes of waiting.
"Not"
"Wait, what?"
"You look like you're having a party down here, and I wouldn't want to miss it!" Gwaine said with a shrug, pulling out his pack and searching inside it for something while Arthur glared at him. "Look, you've got Merlin, Mordred and Gwen, not to mention that Dragon. And I think that's your psychotic half-sister over there. Why would I want to leave?"
"Did you bring food?" Merlin asked. Gwaine shook his head, instead withdrawing a bottle of something that could probably kill a horse.
Arthur glared up at the cliff-of-doom as he laid back against the cool cliff face. It was going to be a long night.
"No. If you begin I spy again, I will banish you from Camelot."
"Didn't work last time" Gwaine said with a grin, "And when Gwen was banished, she came back to Camelot as a Queen"
"Arthur, stop sulking and come over to the fire" Gwen said, gesturing to an empty space beside her. Mordred and Merlin sat opposite her, fervently discussing magic with Gwaine occasionally butting in to ask whether he could ride on a flying Unicorn or make mead out of thin air.
"There is no fire" Arthur pointed out, pointing at the very not on fire lump of rock the four of them (minus a still unconscious Morgana) were sitting around.
"Not a problem" Merlin said with a smug smile at Mordred, which Mordred returned. "Mordred, if you could do the honours."
"Forbearne" Mordred said, gesturing at the rock which promptly burst into flames. Arthur stared at it like it had broken the laws of physics (which it probably had – he was pretty sure that rocks were not naturally flammable.) Unable to think of a reason to stay sulking by the cliff, he walked over to the fire and took his seat next to Gwen. Although it was nice to be in the company of friends who were definitely not trying to kill him for once (apart from Morgana of course) Arthur wished they could be back in Camelot.
Suddenly, and idea struck him.
"The Dolma!" he shouted, causing Merlin to jump slightly "You could call her with your magic telepathy thingy, and she could help us."
Merlin shifted awkwardly under Arthur's gaze, who immediately became suspicious.
"How do I put this…" Merlin said "There is no 'Dolma'. I was going to pretend to be her to heal Gwen."
Arthur stared slightly at Merlin, who was looking back at Arthur apprehensively, probably wondering why Arthur was staring at him.
"Let me get this straight." Arthur said slowly "You were going to dress up as a woman."
"Yes…"
"In a dress"
"Ah" Merlin said, suddenly catching on to what Arthur was saying.
Arthur smirked at Merlin "I always said you were a girl."
"Urrrrrrg…"
"Not to alarm anyone, but I think Morgana's waking up." Gwaine said, looking at the feebly stirring form of the High Priestess on the ground nearby.
"That's not good, is it?" Mordred asked.
Morgana moved once more, and blearily began to open her eyes.
"Where am I?" she asked, turning her head. She froze as she saw her nemeses in front of her, casually sitting around a campfire.
She staggered to her feet, anger in her eyes. She sneered down at them, as Arthur glanced at Merlin, wondering whether he could take her down. The small grin Merlin sent him was as good as a yes.
"What a pleasant surprise" Morgana said, apparently not noticing Merlin and Arthur's silent conversation. "I don't even need to go looking for you, do I? You'll just wander straight into trouble yourself. And now I have you right where I want you."
She looked down at them, eyes narrowed somewhat, maybe wondering why the hell they were still sitting down, apparently unconcerned about her. Then again, she didn't know about Merlin and Mordred.
"So arrogant, thinking that you can beat me, a High Priestess of the Old Religion. I have taken Camelot twice before, and they say that the third time's the charm, don't they?"
Morgana took a step forward "This time, Arthur Pendragon, I think I'll take my-" SMACK!
Arthur watched in mild amusement as Sir Leon landed on top of Morgana in mid-rant. Merlin raised an eyebrow.
"It's literally raining men."
"10 Red Knights, standing on a wall. 10 Red Knights, standing on a wall! And if one Red Knight should accidently fall, they'll be 9 Red Knights, standing on a wall. 9 Red Knights-"
"Merlin, please, for the sake of my sanity."
"Fine. Fine."
"…"
"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall; Humpty Dumpty had a great fall…"
"Mordred!"
"Merlin, can I keep Aithusa?"
"Gwaine, people can't 'keep' Dragons, and anyway, I am the last Dragonlord, and I need to protect the last of the Dragons with my life. Do you really think they'd be safe if I let you anywhere near them? They'd be covered in litter and tinsel within about 5 minutes."
"Wait, you mean there are more Dragons apart from Aithusa?" Arthur asked, looking up at the happily chirping Dragon playing around his head. "I thought I killed the last Dragon, apart from Aithusa obviously."
Merlin shifted about in a way that made Arthurs (already rather high) suspicion levels shoot up.
"About that Dragon… When I told you it was dead…"
"No Gwaine, you cannot ride Kilgarrah. Apparently he's 'not a horse'."
"I'd be careful!"
"Would you?"
"Maybe…?"
"Merlin, if you had to let one of us ride Kilgarrah, who would it be?"
"He'd probably burn you alive if he ever saw you Mordred, he keeps telling me to kill you before 'the seeds of Camelot flower' or whatever symbolism he's using this week… he'd end up killing Gwaine out of sheer irritation, and he wouldn't ever stop prattling on about Arthur's destiny. Oh, and I definitely don't trust him near you, Gwen, in case he decided that you were going to throttle Arthur in his sleep or something… so… Leon then."
"Me? Why?"
"At least if he threw you off, you'd still survive."
"And then I said" Arthur paused dramatically while Merlin rolled his eyes "The pool… is abstract!" Merlin mouthed along as Arthur finished his joke.
"Princess, that joke isn't funny."
"Shut up Gwaine, you try to tell a better joke." Arthur said, rounding on Gwaine.
Gwaine cleared his throat and put down his bottle (Arthur had no idea where Gwaine kept getting them from. Merlin had refused to make any more after Gwaine had vomited on him about half an hour ago.)
"Fine then. Ok, a nun, an elf and a drunk walk into a bar…"
"And then he says 'oh, so that's not where you put the arrow then?!"
Gwaine looked at them expectantly. Merlin's mouth was hanging open, showing the look of horror which Arthur currently felt. The same expression was mirrored on all his companion faces. Apart from Mordred, Leon had clapped his hands over Mordred's ear the moment had started to tell his joke, muttering something about the 'sanctity of youth'. Mordred just looked confusedly around at the rest of them.
Gwaine hummed slightly as Arthur tried hard to rid his brain of the mental images only Gwaine could create.
"So, want to hear another one?"
"NO!"
"Do you think the cliff's cursed?" Gwen asked, as a small rabbit landed on Arthur's head with a small squeal.
"I don't think so" Merlin said, glancing upwards "I can normally tell when something's cursed."
"You mean your 'funny feelings'?" Arthur asked, thinking of all the times the newly-discovered warlock had told him that he had a bad feeling about something.
"Mostly" Merlin replied "But most of the time those funny feelings are just caused by common sense. I mean, really? Do you purposely try to get yourself killed? Because you have done some really stupid things while I've been in Camelot. It's a wonder you managed to survived all those years until I arrived."
Arthur opened his mouth to respond, but was stopped by a look from Gwen.
"And so why do people keep falling off it?" Leon asked in an attempt to get the conversation back on track
"Perhaps everyone's just really clumsy as well as oblivious…"
"Nice of you to drop in Percival" Gwaine said, as a loud 'thump' announced the arrival of yet another falling Knight. Percival didn't respond.
Probably because he was unconscious.
Arthur closed his eyes out of irritation. Everyone else had gone to sleep, and guard duty had fallen to Gwaine and Arthur.
Arthur wasn't sure if he wanted to commit homicide or suicide.
"Great" Arthur said dourly, looking at Percival's unconscious form "Is the rope invisible or something? It's almost dawn and we're still stuck down here!"
"We're having fun!" Gwaine protested "Look, Merlin made me marshmallows!"
He waved a handful of marshmallow temptingly in front of Arthur. Arthur glared at him.
"The only reason I'm not getting up to hit you is because Gwen's fallen asleep on my shoulder." Arthur told him, as Gwaine swallowed the marshmallow whole. "Otherwise…"
"Got it"
Arthur looked up at the lightening sky.
"What're we going to do if even more people turn up?" he asked.
Gwaine smirked suggestively and opened his mouth to reply.
"GWAINE, IF YOU SAY A WORD, I WILL SHOVE THAT MARSHMALLOW SO FAR UP YOUR ARS-"
"Arthur?"
Arthur looked down to see Gwen opening her eyes blearily. He smiled at her, before turning to look at Gwaine and giving him a death glare that would make any sane man scream for his mother. Gwaine just grinned lazily at him.
"What's wrong with the clotpole?"
Arthur turned to send his glare to Merlin instead, but to his surprise saw that it was Mordred who'd said the 'c' word.
"Merlin, stop being a bad influence on Mordred!"
The 'bad influence' yawned and stretched slightly. "I've taught you well, Mordred."
Arthur muttered incoherently under his breath, the words 'Merlin' and 'Stab' coming up alarmingly often.
He really didn't get enough credit for not being a violent psychopath.
"I spy with my-"
"I WILL PERSONALLY RIP THOSE 'LITTLE EYES' OUT OF YOUR HEAD IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP, AND THEN WHAT WILL YOU SPY? HUH? THEN YOU'LL SPY NOTHING! NOTHING EVER AGAIN!"
"…"
"Well, someone didn't get enough sleep last night…"