5. Memory Of The Past

What did Happy mean by saying that Natsu can't use his magic anymore?

It didn't make any sense to Gray when he heard that blue Exceed say those words with such sadness and guilt. Magic was a part of the life essence or spirit of a mage. It was definitely not something you lost and most certainly couldn't survive this long without it, but Happy explained that since Natsu woke up he has never used his magic and even when he was told that he was able to do magic the Fire Dragon Slayer somehow couldn't and haven't been able to activate it for a year.

Gray felt incredible guilty on his outburst that lead to Natsu leaving them at the house so he ran out to go look for him, apparently everyone else followed the suit and went to go look for him as well and decided to split up to cover up more ground. Hopefully he wouldn't have gotten far seeing as he couldn't really remember or recall any significant places so it shouldn't take too long tracking that Flame Brain.

Unfortunately his assumption proved to be all-wrong as he ran across town without getting a glance of his rival. He even went to the guild to see if he had gone there, but none of the members had seen or heard from him since he showed up earlier. And when he ran into Lucy and others they too didn't have any much luck finding him either. They had searched everywhere, even Lucy's old place just in case, but the search turned to be nothing and it was already getting dark. However he didn't stop looking or rather he refused to stop until he found him, because back during the Avatar incident Natsu had gone looking for him even though he hadn't wanted to be found at the time and he most certainly wasn't going to let Natsu slip away again. Not now that he was finally back.

After once again double-checking all the places he figured he would go back and look for him in the hill by the river, the place where he and Natsu had spend their time fighting each other until none of them could stand or better yet lost consciousness. As he was trekking on the road on top of the hill he barely noticed the dark figure of someone sitting on the grass, staring at the river in deep thoughts. Although he wasn't sure if it was Natsu, he decided to take a chance and approached the person and once he was close enough he realized that it was indeed Natsu, especially when he without moving his gaze away from the scenery said, "Are you going to stand there or come over here? Either way just stop looking like a damn goldfish it doesn't suit you, you know?"

Gray was speechless by his words, couldn't even gather up the words of an apology that he had planned out while he had been running around the town, but nonetheless he sat down next to him and moved his gaze at the river.

"I guess we need to talk," Gray finally said after sitting through the torment of Natsu's silence for what seemed like a lifetime. Natsu shrugged his shoulders, "I guess we do. I can start by saying what I think. Based on how you were acting back there and from what I can barely recall we didn't get along very well, right?"

"Right, we argued and fought a lot with each other," Gray admitted. "Though despite that we were still friends and comrades from the same guild. And I'm sorry for those things I said back at the house I shouldn't have said them, not when I didn't understand the circumstances."

Natsu nodded his head and for the first time since he showed up turned to look at him and said, "Happy told you about my magic or should I say my lack of magic."

It wasn't a question. It was a clear statement that left no room for being cuddled or eased in with information. What he wanted was plain simple he wanted the truth from him, and it was a request he couldn't deny.

Gray sighed wearily, "Yeah, he did. But he didn't do it to betray your trust or anything, so don't be angry or upset with him. He only wanted to help."

"I know that," Natsu looked at him like he wondered if he thought that he was an idiot. "And I'm not mad or upset at him about it. I guess I'm only ashamed that I learn that I was this great mage and Dragon Slayer before and now am this pathetic weakling. And what worse I don't even know what happened that made me lose my magic and made everybody think I was dead in the first place."

Gray wanted to reassure him, deny the claims that he shouldn't feel ashamed over his lack of memory and of his past, but he knew that his words wouldn't come through to him. Not when the guy didn't know or understand the circumstances around the time he 'died'. That was why he leaned back and fell down on the grassy ground and stared up at the sky and answered quietly, "It was the war with the Black Mage Zeref and Alvarez Empire everything happened. Things were chaotic and horrible, but we decided to fight on because that's what Fairy Tail mages do. At the time I was caught up with my own personal agenda to kill one of Zeref's demons, E.N.D and fulfill the dying promise to my father that I didn't seem to care or want to understand anything else. So when you left to face Zeref on your own I was pissed and didn't have any faith in you, but I got even more upset that you came back and told us that he was still alive. You wouldn't tell us what happened, neither would Happy, and I was reprimanded for shouting and blaming you about it. We continued to work and try and win the war, though we were having a difficult time doing so, but at some point Happy, you and I had managed to reach Zeref's location and face him head on. But something happened…

(Flashback)

This was it. He was finally up against Zeref, the Black Mage, who was the main source to the catastrophe and misery that he has brought on to the people and the rest of the world for years. And now he was finally here to bring an end to Zeref and E.N.D. Although he was ready to face his enemies straight on, but strangely enough Natsu and Happy seemed overly passive about go offensive and attack like they would normally do. However he decided to ignore that right now since he had more important things to worry about.

Nonetheless he didn't waste time in attacking Zeref, but no matter what he threw at the guy he remained unharmed by his attacks. Gray didn't know what frustrated him more, the fact that the guy seemed unaffected no matter what he did or the fact that he was being ignored and that the bad guy was far more interested in Natsu than what was normal. It was obvious that there was something more lingering between them than what meeting the eye, but it was clear that Natsu didn't appreciate it the slightest and was very tense about it.

"I'm disappointed, Natsu," Zeref said with a neutral yet a hint of sadness and disappointment in his voice. "After all this time you still can't do anything to kill me, even with your little friend here. Truly, it shows me how humanity is lacking and unfixable and why I have to end it all."

Natsu's face immediately fired up and sneered back, "You bastard! You might find humanity lacking or too flawed to exist in this world, but don't take the few people you have seen or met and make such a big assumption! We are all trying to live through the world the best we can, and you are most definitely not making humanity any better!"

Before Gray had a chance to warn and stop that Flame Brain from being hasty and doing something stupid, Natsu threw a fired punch and hit Zeref straight across the face and instantly knocked him down in the process, however quickly managed to land perfectly. He could only stare with surprise over the fact that he didn't land a scratch on Zeref, while Natsu managed to do it at ease. However he didn't get a chance to say or do anything about the matter since Zeref pulled out the Book of E.N.D and Natsu literally froze on the spot. Gray raised his eyebrow suspiciously, not understanding his comrade's reaction and his suspicion only increased when he saw him trembling in fear. What in the world was going on?

"You remember this, Natsu," The book was being waved back and forth in his hand, clearly being used as a threat. However what Gray saw was the one thing that stood between him fulfilling the promise he made to his father to put an end to E.N.D, which fueled him with the thoughts of revenge. So he casted an ice spell and used the opportunity and aimed straight for the book. The instant he did so both Natsu and Happy realized what he had just done and exclaimed, "Don't! Gray!"

The ice pierced straight through the book, leaving behind a huge hole from the magic. Zeref had not made a move or prevented any harm from happening to the book, but he looked shocked at him before his gaze was turned on Natsu, which his facial expression showed extreme case of shock and concern. It didn't make any sense why the biggest villain of the century When Gray turned to Natsu he saw his rival wrap his arms around before his knees gave in and fell to the ground. He wasn't sure what had just happened or currently going on, but he quickly found out when Natsu removed his hands and revealed with hands covered in blood a huge and severe injury to the abdomen. His eyes were wide as he stuttered in shock, "N-N…Natsu?"

Natsu was stunned or better word for it confused, but not really as shocked as he and Zeref was. Nonetheless he stood up again on his feet, clearly ignoring the severe injury he had and simply went back to Zeref. Unfortunately for them was that Zeref snapped out of whatever had just happened with him and angrily stated, "He doesn't know?"

Know what? Gray wondered. What going on here because clearly whatever it was it had great significance to Natsu, but neither he or Zeref seemed interested in clearing up the air. However unlike Natsu who would simply be violent and confronting towards an enemy without thinking things through, Zeref seemed to take an analyzing route before he reached his conclusion to what to do next and that was to finally attack back, but using this dark and ominous magic that literally brought shivers up his spine. Black energy was summoned and Zeref was just about to release it, however instead of aiming at Natsu or Happy he aimed it straight at him. Gray didn't run or try to protect himself from the attack, knowing fully well based on what Elfman and Evergreen told him about their encounter with the Black Mage back at Tenrou Island that it was difficult not to get caught in the crossfire because his magic took the life of everything in his proximity. The only reason Natsu survived at that time was due to the scarf Igneel had given him. Nevertheless he closed his eyes and waited for the impact to hit him like a fist to the stomach or something, but it never came.

Finding it unbelievable and almost insane he opened his eyes again and saw Natsu being up and personal with Zeref while being surrounded by the dark energy. What was that idiot trying to do?

Before he got the chance to ask and reprimand his comrade for his actions, Natsu took his own course of action and his body was lit up in huge angry flames. Gray and Happy could only stare, not sure what to do or what was going on, while those two was talking quietly between themselves. That is until Happy realized something and exclaimed, "Natsu! Don't dare break your promise to me!"

Natsu turned his head slightly towards Happy and answered guilty, "We don't have any other choice. We tried to do this different ways, trying to avoid the consequences, but there is nothing else we can do. We have run out of time and options. Besides I have also run out of fire that is why in one last attempt to stop him I have to do it. I'm sorry, Happy."

Gray almost thought that he had misheard him, because there was no way Natsu would give up or insinuate to sacrifice himself for the sake of defeating Zeref.

However it seems he was wrong because Happy leaped to his shoulder, crying and begging him not do it, but Natsu wouldn't listen. He had already decided his choice and was ready to do it, but in his last attempts begged Happy to leave him. The Exceed refused and kept holding on to his shoulder and muttered something quietly that only he and Natsu heard. After that he wasn't sure if there was more words being exchanged because the flow of magic energy caused a massive explosion, blowing him off his feet and threw him across the room. When he looked up he practically screamed, "NATSU! HAPPY!"

No answer was given. Only dark smoke covered the room and hiding what happened to those three. So he got quickly on his feet and agitated looked around the area where they all had been standing before the explosion. At first he thought his eyes were playing a trick on him when he saw Zeref lying there before he slowly dissolved into light and disappeared. Gray's first thought was that it was over. Natsu defeated Zeref and ended the war, but once he got over his joy he realized what exactly happened and why Natsu and Happy wasn't around. Then the fear kicked in and he shouted and walked around until he once again saw light. He followed the light and saw Natsu and Happy lying next to each other on the floor, Happy was unconscious while Natsu was struggling to breathe as his body was glowing and slowly dissolving as Zeref had done. Gray fell on to his knees next to Natsu and said quietly with sadness, "Why did you do that? Did you finally burn the last of your brain cells to ashes?"

Although Natsu looked pissed by that comment, he instantly chuckled in pain and answered lightly, "It was the only thing I could do. After all I was indirectly the cause of this mess in the first place, it was time I cleaned it up."

"What do you mean?"

"Something that I should have told everyone before but I didn't," Natsu replied before giving the cliff note version of how he was E.N.D and what the dragons had done to him and the other Dragon Slayers and how it all involved Zeref. However by the end of the story Natsu's body was almost gone and didn't give him truly time to think and process the information he was given. So putting all those conflicted, hurt and painful emotions aside, Gray tried to convince him and also Natsu that he was going to be okay, but they both knew that was a lie.

"Gray…don't blame yourself for what happened okay," Natsu said, almost breathless. "I don't blame you, and even if I did I forgive you…"

Gray shook his head, wanting nothing more to stop this from happening and not let the Flame Brain say such things to him. Tears were streaming from his eyes and down his face as he begged him to stay and not leave everyone behind. However Natsu gave him one last smile before he closed his eyes and died next to him before he and Happy was completely dissolved into light orbs and disappeared into nothingness. Leaving him alone with the unbearable pain and remorse over the fact that his friend died and he was part of the blame to his death.

Once Gray was done telling the story the tension in the air was quiet and smothering as neither of them said anything. Natsu could almost not believe what had happened, but he didn't doubt his comrade's words the slightest. However that made the whole thing even sadder for how he had left his friend with such a burden that he hadn't told anyone else. Only carried the real truth of what happened to himself and the heavy burden that went along with it. That is why Natsu couldn't bring himself to cry for what happened to him or to Happy. Instead he was crying for Gray.

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Thank you guys so much for the response I have been receiving. I hope you guys like the chapter.

I hope that you guys have had a good Christmas, because as of now I'm have a nice one. And soon New Year is around so I hope everyone gets a happy New year as well. Please don't be afraid to tell me your opinion, I would love to hear what you guys think.

I wonder to end this story with a little action in it or if I'm going to smooth things down, because I'm thinking writing around one or two chapters in order to end the story and I want to hear your honest opinion. So please tell me what you think.

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