Title: Ain't We Just
Prompt: Written for merry_gentry on livejournal: SPN, Castiel + Gabriel + Dean + Sam, Big Damn Heroes.
". . . in the nick of time. Whaddya suppose that makes us?"
There was a long silence. Gabriel elbowed Sam in the ribs hard. "Your line."
"Why am I Zoe again?"
"Because Dean's Jayne and Castiel makes much more sense in River or Simon's role. Both. Let's start from the top. Well, look at this! Appears we got here just in the nick of time. Whaddya suppose that makes us?" Gabriel turned and indicated Sam dramatically.
"Big damn heroes, sir," Sam mumbled.
"Ain't we just!" Gabriel bellowed loud enough to shake the roof.
Sam winced instinctively, and checked over his shoulder nervously. "Can we just save Cas and the rest of the local virgins now, please?"
Gabriel visibly wilted, and Sam sighed and braced the shotgun properly. He would humor the archangel out of a vague sense of guilt. "Continue, Captain."
"I would like to get down before they light the fire, Gabriel," Castiel called in irritation.
"Got ya covered, Cas!" Dean shouted over the screams of demons and the rise of evil smoke and honest steam. Sam had to admit that Gabriel's Super Soaker of holy water was actually rather inspired. Now, the logistics of stealing a fire truck . . .
"If you all would stop interrupting," Gabriel bellowed, and pointed dramatically at the head demon with nothing more in his hand than a chocolate bar. "Big gun . . . spaceship . . . out of our way . . . yaddayaddayadda . . . oh, yeah. Yeah, but he's our virgin. So cut him the hell down."
Gabriel didn't actually give the demon a chance to comply. He snapped his fingers, doing away with the demon and the mystically enhanced chains. "Gotta say, doctor, your talent for alienatin' people is near miraculous."
"They were not people. They were demons. And I do not hold a medical degree of any kind . . ."
"Fiction, Cas!" Dean bellowed from where he twisted on the hasty rig suspended from a skylight. "Like Star Wars."
Gabriel glanced up at Dean with what he felt the appropriate amount of scorn. Just for the sake of irritating Dean, Gabriel proclaimed loudly with full fanfare that "Space cowboys kick space pirate ass."
Dean cursed almost as fluently as Jayne Cobb might have.