"Arthur, please. At least come out of your room. Eat something!" Yao begged to the wooden door.

"Go away, Yao!" Arthur's cracking voice shouted back. "I knew something like this would happen. Now please, just leave me be."

Yao sighed. But eventually he relented, leaving a Royal Guard at the door. "Arthur, if you get hungry please just ask for something to eat. If you need me I'll be in my study."

But Arthur was not hungry. He sat on his bed, sniffling. "I'm an idiot." He told himself.

"What kind of fool am I? I actually had myself convinced that this would all run smoothly. That Alfred would l-love me..." Arthur felt tears slide down his cheeks again. "I've ruined everything. I should have protested with Yao...I should have run after Alfred..."

Suddenly, there was a cackle behind Arthur. "Should have, would have, but didn't!" A voice laughed.

Arthur whirled around and stood up immediately, brandishing a small knife. There was a man in his room. He was of an average height and build. His shoulders were squared, his head tilted back, and he was smiling. His red eyes glinted with madness. "Who are you?" Arthur asked, willing his voice to stay steady and his tears to disappear. "Who are you, and how did you get in here? Guards!"

The man laughed. "Settle down, Eyebrows. Don't you remember me? 'Sides, no matter how loudly you call, the guards won't hear you."

Arthur's eyebrows dipped down at the man's words. "What do you mean they won-"

Then, he felt it. He would have noticed it before if he hadn't been so distracted. It was the familiar tingle of Magic. Arthur took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Yes, he could feel it now. It surrounded the room entirely. "You bastard!" He screamed, his eyes snapping open. "You sealed the room! And while I was distracted, too!"

The man held up his hands and showed Arthur his toothy grin. "Settle down, Eyebrows. I'm not here to hurt you. If fact, I'm here to help!"

Arthur growled, and cleared the distance between them, shoving the knife towards the man's neck. "I have been trained my entire life to protect myself from assassins. Five beings have tried to kill me since I was a child. All of them are now dead. Care to join them?"

But the man was gone. Arthur looked around the room.

"Actually," the voice said. It was coming from everywhere at once. "I already have." The man appeared behind Arthur, a few feet away. Arthur charged him, but he vanished again.

"I am everything and everyone. I am the bad and the good. I am life, I am death."

He appeared this time again, hanging from the chandelier. "I am a joker." He smiled. "But just call me Gilbert, 'kay?"

Arthur huffed in frustration. "There is no such thing as jokers! Goddamit! Stop moving!" He closed his eyes and focused. He felt the man's presence. He was indeed very magical. Arthur focused on gluing that body down to the floor. But no matter what he did, it was deflected. "H-how..."

The man's face was right in front of his. His eyes were blazing. "Like I said, Eyebrows. I'm a joker. Don't try to use your under-developed magic on me."

Arthur backed away, but tripped. He fell on his butt, the knife skirting away from arm's reach. Fuck.

Gilbert held out his hand. "C'mon. All I want is a few answers. Have a nice little chat. You can ask me some questions, then I'll ask you some. Deal?"

Arthur considered it. He was powerless against this...this thing. He doubted he really had a choice. He could feel his adrenaline fading away. It was quickly replaced by fear and regret, the emotions that had plagued him ever since yesterday. He could ask a question... "Any question?"

The thing paused. "Well, as long as it doesn't involve the fate of others or that you knowing the answer will change destiny, than yeah, anything."

Arthur considered this. "Alright." He reached out and took the thing's hand. He felt magic shoot up his arm and tingle over his lips. He knew this deal was binding. The thing hoisted him up, and Arthur brushed himself off. "Very well," he said. "First, explain to me about this joker business. I didn't think they were real."

The thing cocked his eyebrow. "Why not? I'm standing right in front of you. You felt my magic. You can see the other Magic creatures. Why not me?"

Arthur gasped. "You know about the magic creatures? Like the unicorns and the fairies?"

The thing crinkled his nose. "Yeah, and they're really annoying. Little buggers always get onto my lawn."

Arthur stared at the man again. Okay, so maybe he wasn't too bad. Still bad, just not that bad. "Okay. So...um...can I ask you about..." Arthur drifted off. No, there was no way he would ask something like that. It was utterly preposterous, and what was to say that the Joker wouldn't lie to him? Though...as Arthur looked at him, he couldn't help but trust him. He just seemed so familiar...

"Hmmm?" The joker asked, smiling. He tilted his head. "Ask about what?" He lifted his legs and began to hover in the air in front of Arthur.

Arthur sighed. "Ask about...Alfred."

The Joker laughed, allowing himself to be turned upside-down by some invisible force, so he was sitting cross-legged upside-down in the air. "Yeah! Alfred's a little freaked out but he'll be okay. Y'know once you do your little thing."

"Huh? Thing? What thing?"

The joker snickered. "I can't tell you~!" He did a back flip and landed a few feet behind Arthur. "Hmm...nice bed." He commented.

"Goddammit, Filbert! Focus!"

The Joker looked very offended. "My name is Gilbert. With a G. It's awesome. Don't forget it."

Arthur sighed. It was like dealing with Alfred. Speaking of which... "Is he mad at me?"

"Mad? Naw. He's just scared. Some King he'll be. Well, actually he's gonna be a pretty cool King but that's not the joke."

"Scared? Why is he scared?"

The Joker paused, and inspected a few trinkets on Arthur's bedside table. "Oh. Well, he doesn't think he's fit to be King. He is afraid that the only reason you've ever liked him is because he was gonna be King. But now he's afraid that if he messes up, you won't like him anymore. Also, he loves you."

Arthur's eyes widened. "He does not!"

The Joker turned to stare at Arthur as if he was the mad one. "Eyebrows. Jeez. I knew Alfred would be all up in denial but you too? I would say it's surprising, but I know everything. Still. Haven't you heard that all of the Spaden Kings and Queens fell in love by the Magic? The Magic chooses the two most compatible people. It always has."

Arthur frowned. "Yes, but it's always picked a man and a woman to rule."

Gilbert waved him off and continued inspecting Arthur's things. "Just a coincidence."

Arthur's mouth dropped. Now he felt angry. "You are telling me that out of the hundreds of rulers throughout the start of Spades, they all just so happened to be a man and a woman? While the other suits were intermixing gender, Spades just so happened to be the only one that has had one man and one woman?"

Gilbert tossed a piece of paper over his shoulder. "Yep, that's about it."

Arthur wanted to rip his hair out. "What about the love thing? How come Spades is the only suit where the rulers fall in love?"

Gilbert sniffed something on the table. Deciding he didn't like it, he threw it over his shoulder. "Ugh, you Spadens are always so arrogant. Haven't you noticed the other Suits have special favors too? Spades is blessed with Love between their Royals which gives them the utmost in their rulers, the best that they could have, trust and bonds like no other. Diamond has riches. Remember back to history class. Have they ever had a famine? Run out of money? No, they haven't."

Arthur's eyes widened. "What about the other Suits?"

Gilbert shrugged. "I can't tell you. It'll change destiny." Arthur narrowed his eyes.

"Now!" Gilbert proclaimed, whirling around and clapping once. "What're you gonna do about the whole Alfred situation?"

Arthur felt like he'd been hit by a carriage. Everything was going too fast. "I'll have to talk to him."

"Hmm. About what?"

Arthur turned and faced the other wall. "About...my feelings for him. I have to convince him that he's just being the daft boy he is, and not thinking clearly."

Gilbert laughed. "Sounds good. When?"

Arthur shrugged. "Is he busy?"

Gilbert paused. He cocked his head, as if listening to a sound. "Hmm. Nope! He's in his room, feeling sorry for himself. His brother is there, trying to talk to him. But I can handle him."

Arthur felt determination set in. He was pretty sure it was the Joker's doing, tampering at his emotions with magic, but he didn't care anymore. "Take me to him."

AND YEAH. That looks like a good place to stop for the day! Gilbert probably won't be appearing much after this. But it was fun while it lasted :")

Arthur asked a bit more important questions, so I hope you were paying attention!

Thanks so much for all the reviews! Or...comments, as they are now called.

Sorry for any mistakes! I'm American!

-Mallory