Doctor Loki love: yup Loki never really changed since he came back from earth. Meh everyone has issues.

Poodle warriors: yes miscommunication indeed. Every relationship had them it was about time they did. Lol

Sorceress of the trees: I love scary, Sadistic, cruel Loki. I enjoy writing him that way too. This story however was a different take on a different kind of Loki and still trying to keep him in character the best I could. Lol. Nice idea for Devian.

Max is a chick name: drunken Tony will happen. Weather it will be at the wedding or not is the real question.

Next guest: looks like you'll have a next button today :p

Chapter 58: I'm sorry

The kids room was pretty quite at night. Once the kids finally settled down and stopped staring at her as she lay on the floor cuddled up with some pillows, Cephera was able to think.

Having fights with Loki didn't happen often. To a certain extent she felt like she was to blame. She had been very determined to see this plan through even though she knew he had reservations. But what she had failed to realize was just how big his reservations were. He totally downplayed it.

She wasn't angry he was now against the idea completely she was more angry that he hadn't opened up to her. It had taken her a while to tell him things about herself but the situation had been different. If she hadn't been allowed to see Odin and put herself out there and battle for new ideals she wouldn't feel this pissed.

She wasn't sure how to make this right. On one hand she wanted to rush to him and tell him she was sorry and that she no longer wanted the Avengers at the wedding. But on the other hand she knew he needed time work out his own mind.

It would be a lie to say she no longer cared about her plans. She really did want better for Thor. It had been years since Loki's attack on earth. He needed to face his inner turmoil, whatever it might be, and move on. He couldn't ignore it the rest of his life. Just like he could no longer ignore his frost giant heritage with Diana clearly having Jotun traits of her own.

She could only hope that this silence between them would not last long. But for tonight she would sleep with the twins and wake to feed them and go to class.

Cephera woke early to the bedrooms double doors opening. She jerked to a seated position. Her heart was hopeful it would be Loki but in walked Odin. As disappointed as she felt she also felt curious. "Good morning." He said to her a half smile on his face.

"Good morning." There was silence a moment.

"I had a feeling you might be here. My wife often fell asleep with Thor or Loki when we would fight." Cephera's eyes widened slightly. Sometimes you simply forgot just how alike people were no matter their status.

"I thought he might need time to think about it." Odin pulled over two chairs and Cephera climbed into one.

"Loki was always a very secluded person when it came to his emotions. Instead of talking through his feelings he would act out. As a child they were foolish things but as he grew older it turned into mischief that sometimes was harmful."

"Harmful?" Cephera turned her worried eyes to Odin. Was he worried Loki would act out over this?

"You are familiar with the lady Sif." Cephera nodded. "A very long time ago, when Loki was nothing more then an adolescence, he developed a fleeting attraction to her. When she turned him down she hurt his pride. To show his anger he crept into her room late one night and cut off her beautiful blond hair." Cephera couldn't help but gap at Odin.

"Are you afraid he's planning to do something to me...or you?" Cephera couldn't believe Loki would do anything like that to her.

"No." Odin frowned. "Since he returned home after his exile Loki has been different. Harder, more cut off, colder even. That is until you." Odin gave a slight smile. "I think if anyone could open him up further to the emotions he feels, it's you. I have taken the liberty of freeing up yours and Loki's day. Sometimes one needs to take a day to straighten out more important things closer to the heart." Odin reassuring smile made Cephera stand.

"Thank you." She said. She didn't ask any questions. She took the chance given to her and left leaving Odin behind with the kids.

She entered hers and Loki's room quietly. He was not in the bed. The bed look as if it hadn't been slept in. She looked around the room and found nothing out of place since she saw it last. The bathroom was also empty. Not wishing to lose her chance she teleported to his tower.

She found him there asleep in a small armchair. His head hung back and a book open in his hands. She stepped forward and placed her hand on the side of his face. "Loki." She said softly.

Loki woke immediately and looked at her with strange sad eyes. The look made her stomach ache in guilt. He took her hand and pulled her down to sit on him. She allowed it and found herself in a tight embrace. "I do not like having you away from me." He said his tone heavy with sleep and an ache of its own ringing from deep down.

"I was only in the children room." She said thinking it might make him feel better.

"It's not the where. It's the why. The reason you were not by my side last night. It left me feeling empty." His head was resting on her chest but there was no lust in any movements he made. He clung to her like he might lose her. As if she may attempt to run from him.

"Loki, I understand you're used to dealing with your own personal feelings differently. But I want to know what you're feeling. I want to understand what goes on in that head and heart. I will not leave you no matter what you tell me." She cupped his face to force him to look up at her.

"I don't want to fight anymore." He told her. "It's difficult for me to open up. I feel like I may look weak and I have had my share of being weak." She kissed his forehead and ran her thumbs over his cheekbones.

"Feelings are not weak. They define who we are. When we feel something that we don't like we learn to control it. To change that emotion. To mould it into something more suitable. I will never see you as weak. But to better understand you I need you to talk to me." Loki shifted in the chair forcing her to straddle his hips.

His grip around her waist tightened and he lay his head on her shoulder. She could feel his breath on the skin near her ear as he spoke. "I am ashamed of the person I once was. Ashamed that I attacked and killed those who were weaker then I. My reasons had been childish. I caused grief and stress to the family who had never given up on me. I blamed them for the loneliness I felt, the harsh worlds I was subjected to when I fell from the bridge. I deluded myself into believing Thor tossed me into the abyss rather then think I had let my family down. I was weak." He never moved from his spot on her shoulder. His hair tickled her cheek.

"You're not that person anymore. Let go of him. He is your past. Set right your wrongs inside yourself. Prove to those who might think otherwise that you have changed." She said her words softly as she played her hand over his hair.

"I enjoyed it." He said. "I enjoyed everything back then. The mayhem and havoc I caused. The blood I split, I laughed over it. I felt the same way all the way up until I met you. When I met you I started to feel the guilt of how I revealed in my old ways. Your kind heart made me realize just how horrible I had been." She felt him bury his face into her hair. "I still have times I feel like that. Times I feel like I could kill and perhaps enjoy it. I fear I may break."

Cephera pulled back to look him in the face once more. "If you break I will always be there to pick up your pieces and put you back together. I knew your past deeds when I first met you and I did not run. I do not plan to ever run."

Loki's knuckles grazed her forehead down her cheek. "How do I deserve you?" He asked looking genuinely puzzled.

"It's funny. I wondered for the longest time why you would want someone like me. I saw myself as weak. Unable to do magic properly, walking such a thin line between humanity and alien, being a wayward princess who was just floating through life with no real purpose. I didn't think I was worthy of your attention. I constantly told myself you were just playing with me. I could be so naive sometimes and easily played with."

"Then we agree that because neither of us expected the other to accept them for who they are, that we are, in fact, perfect for each other." Cephera laughed.

"I'm not sure that makes any sense but no matter the reasons I accepted you as you were and I always will." She kissed him.

"I'm sorry. I've been a fool." He told her when she released him from her kiss.

"Don't be sorry. Just promise me you'll be a little more open to how you feel from now on." He nodded.