Author's Note:

I AM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS IN FOREVER. And, since I love you guys, I'll tell you the truth: I've done nothing over the past month. I mean, I go to school, work out, eat, and sleep. That's what I do. And occasionally play videogames. God, I am a horrible person.

But in other writing news, I've been working on a Persona 3/Portable story and preparing for NaNo (anyone else participate in NaNo here? :D), but I'll try to update as much as I can before November.

ManonLeChat, Ryfee, Dragen Eyez, imjuzakyd, cappychan, K.a.R.., Aosugiru Sora, CrossroadsofLife, and Dark-Frappe - thank you for consoling me and sharing my pain. I, um, haven't read Bleach in a couple of weeks so I don't know what's happened (PLZ DON'T SPOIL), but… I love you guys. ; w;

Kaleidoscope
a Bleach (© Kubo Tite) fanfiction

Theme #62
drowning

Opening Song: "O Katrina!" - Black Lips

Some people dreamt of falling endlessly.

Gin always dreamt of drowning. It was always too real and too vivid - he could feel himself suffocating, he could feel his lungs constricting, he could feel the ruthless press against his chest. But no matter how he flailed or thrust his arms beside him, the surface never came closer. The light at the top never increased - in fact, often times it diminished. Yet, he never felt as though he were being dragged down; in a way, he was simply suspended in one place. Worst of all, he never just died. Something in his subconscious kept him from waking up, to escape the pain, and he was just always endlessly drowning.

When he woke up, he was always gasping for breath, as though he had been holding his breath in his sleep. His chest always felt heavy and his eyes were wet, as though he'd suffered a painful blow to the stomach. He was always gripping the sheets, as though trying to get back a hold on reality, until his heart beat slowed. Eventually, he'd lay back down, but never go back to sleep.

When he was a child, whenever he had a bad dream, Rangiku would always tiptoe into his room, crawl underneath his covers, and hug him against her as though she were a mother holding her crying child. And, while it was admittedly embarrassing and he had berated her for it when he was younger, he always managed to lapse into a calm, dreamless sleep.

It had been years since he'd experienced the euphoria of such a peaceful sleep. But people like him deserved such a fate - murderers deserved nightmares, not dreams. What they avoided in reality haunted them in their subconscious, where no mask or excuse could protect them.

Gin was always drowning in his dreams. Yet he accepted it. The blood on his hands, his lies, his deception - all of it was driven towards one goal. And she, that one person who mattered - the only person that mattered - was worth his subconscious suffocation. This was all for her.

His thin, pale fingers released the sheets of his futon, and he slipped back under them, resting his head on the pillow. He blinked blankly at the ceiling, took in deep breath, and closed his eyes.

Closing Song: "Kiss and Tell" - Alexander Rybak

I totally just wrote this in my Philosophy class ahahaha. I hate this class; it's an eight o'clock class and we never do anything. Which means WRITING TIME FOR RENOH. :D

Ich liebe dich,
Renoh.