Stop fidgeting, Rose scolded herself for the hundredth time. You've practiced this a million times in your head, it'll be fine.
Winter holidays had come and gone and Rose was back on the Hogwarts Express, heading towards school, and towards Scorpius. Despite her preoccupation with Scorpius and the Witch Weekly article over break, Rose had had a good vacation. She had been able to relax and enjoy her time with her family.
The train had almost reached its destination and Rose looked down at the bundle in her lap. Her Aunt Ginny had come through in spades once she had explained the whole situation and what she wanted. Somehow, telling her aunt the truth was easier than telling her parents. Aunt Ginny had always enjoyed a little bit of mischief and had never been one to judge someone based on rumors. She had simply listened to Rose's story and said, "Well, if he's a Harpies fan then he's got good taste. What did you have in mind?"
The train came to stop at Hogsmeade Station and Rose filed into a horseless carriage with her brother and some cousins. Sometime in the next few days, before classes began again, Rose needed to think of a way to casually run into Scorpius and speak with him alone. Even though she had been encouraged by Albus' words, she was still filled with doubt. What if Albus had misunderstood and Scorpius didn't like her after all?
She shook her head against those thoughts. At least she would have tried her best. She'd never be able to live with herself if she just gave up without trying at all. One of her hands found its way into Dominique's grasp and she felt her cousin and best friend give her hand a squeeze. Dominique believed in her, and that filled her heart with courage.
The carriages came to a stop in the courtyard in front of the castle and Rose smiled. As much as she loved being home with her family, Hogwarts was special, her home away from home, and she was glad to be back.
Releasing Dominique's hand she gathered up the package in her lap and stopped short. Scorpius Malfoy was standing in the courtyard, and he was looking right at her.
She felt their eyes meet, felt that electric spark shiver down her spine, and almost faltered. Almost. Dominique and Albus both gave her a tiny shove and she straightened her spine. Through willpower alone she forced her eyes away from the ground, where they wanted to rest, and kept her head up. Scorpius made his way slowly over to her, and she matched him step for step.
"Hey Rose, can we talk? I don't know if you saw, I mean I'm sure you must have- Obviously you know it's all rubbish, but I was worried about your family- um I mean, there was an article, and-" he groaned, "this is all wrong. I'm trying to say that if you need me to set anyone straight I will. I'll talk to your parents or whoever and I'll stay away from you from now on, so you don't have to worry about anything."
Stay away from her? That was the last thing Rose wanted. Seeing Scorpius so far outside his usual calm and jokingly cocky demeanor was almost funny to Rose. Usually she was the huge mess and he was the one keeping his cool. The absolute worry in his eyes, however, made her feel oddly calm. It was so clear that he cared about her, at least in some capacity, that for the first time in weeks she felt like she could believe in the small hope that had been growing in her heart.
"Slow down" she said, pleased at how evenly her voice came out. "Let's talk. See you all later, ok?" she added to her family. Dominque nodded encouragingly and Albus looked like he was trying not to laugh behind a hand over his face.
A slightly uncomfortable silence followed them as they made their way through the halls together. Eventually they came across an area unaffected by the hustle and bustle of students returning from the Holidays.
"Everything's fine, you know" Rose said once they were alone. "My family gets dragged through the gossip columns all the time, nobody in my family would ever believe something they read over something they heard from each other directly."
"The picture-" Scorpius began. "They probably didn't just ignore that, though. Even I got an owl from my parents over it. They said they'd refused to answer any reporters about it, but I did get in a little trouble for my, how did mom put it? 'Lack of discreetness in my personal relations'. I didn't know what to tell them because I hadn't talked with you first, and I didn't want to say anything without you knowing about it before hand."
"Oh. That's very nice of you, tell them whatever you want though, I wouldn't want to cause an argument between you and your parents." Rose considered her next question before cautiously asking, "Um, did they say something about me, personally?"
"No, no. Why? Did your parents? Say something about me, I mean." He asked casually enough, but Rose thought she could sense some apprehension in his tone.
"No, actually, they said they trusted my judgment." She gave a little laugh at the memory.
"Well of course they do, you're amazing," there was a slight pause before Scorpius continued, "I mean, not as amazing as me, of course, let's face it. But, sadly, we can't all be perfect…"
Rose laughed outright at that. It had been so long since things had been comfortable enough between them for Scorpius to joke around with her. Seeing he'd made her laugh, Scorpius gave her that lopsided grin she'd come to love and, for a moment, they were happy just smiling at each other.
Scorpius cleared his throat and looked away first. "Right, well, just wanted to let you know I'm here if you need help, but it seems things are under control, so, I'll just, um-"
Rose felt their easy atmosphere start to crumble and her nerves started to come back. Deep breath, you can do this!
"I got you a present?" Rose mentally cringed that it had come out as a question.
"What?" he glanced down at the bundle in her hands that she was now holding out to him. "Thank you. I, uh, actually got you something too, but I didn't know if I should give it to you. I don't have it with me but it was meant to be a sort of apology."
"Apology? For what?" In all her scenarios Rose hadn't imagined Scorpius would have a present for her as well, or that he'd be trying to apologize. She felt her doubts creeping in. Was he apologizing because he'd figured out that she liked him and he couldn't return her feelings?
"What do you mean for what? I was completely using you to the point where you didn't even know how to break up with me. You wanted my help and I was taking advantage-"
"Wait what?" Rose interrupted him. "You were using me?" She shook her head "No. I was using you. All you've done is help me and put up with me and humor me. I'm trying to thank you and apologize to you."
"Oh Rose, you're way too nice and trusting for your own good. After everything I did to you, how can you still trust me?"
"What are you talking about?" Rose asked, more confused than ever.
"I mean, ugh, ok. In the Three Broomsticks, after we went costume shopping? And after the Halloween party, and then after the Quidditch match, and I kept following you everywhere…"
Those had been all the times they'd kissed.
"But, Cooper was there, and I would have messed everything up after Halloween, and-"
"Copper wasn't there." Scorpius said.
"What?"
"And Halloween would have turned out fine either way. And I was just seeing what I wanted to see after the game."
"I don't understand. If Cooper wasn't there, then why did you say he was? Why did you kiss me?" Rose felt like the ground had fallen away and everything was spinning. She didn't understand what Scorpius was trying to tell her.
"Because I've liked you forever, and I wanted to, but I shouldn't have. I just couldn't help myself. And then I panicked because you were just pretending, and I was supposed to be helping you, so I lied. But it was everything I ever wanted, and you were so easy to persuade, I convinced myself that you had feelings for me after all, even though I knew it was the worst lie. I kept telling myself. And Albus warned me after Halloween that I was taking things too far, but I was so far gone, I didn't want to listen.
"And then I saw how you were acting, and knew I was wrong. So I tried pulling back, but I couldn't find it in me to just let you go.
"But you did. You found your courage all on your own. And instead of helping you, I'd been purposefully holding you back. It was all I could do to smile and say everything was fine when you wanted to end it, so I ran away as fast as I could.
"I've hurt you in so many ways Rose, and you never even saw it. The opportunity to be with you literally fell into my lap, and I snatched it up and twisted it around to try and never let it go. But I was wrong from the start.
"I don't expect you to ever forgive me, but I just needed to come clean and say I was sorry."
Rose couldn't think. She could hardly breathe. It had all been a lie, which was everything Rose had been afraid of, and yet- could she have possibly understood him? She clung desperately to part of what he had said that was filling her with wicked joy.
"You… liked me? I don't understand, since when?"
Scorpius sighed. "For about a year now. After you forced that Pepper-Up Potion on me. Nobody else even noticed I was sick, but you had. I started to watch you after that. I saw how happy you were studying and taking care of others, how pretty you were when you smiled at your friends. I started thinking about you all the time after that. I even started trying to get your attention in roundabout ways. But I doubt you ever noticed."
"My hair got caught in your button…" Rose said, almost a whisper.
"Uh, yeah, I pretended to bump into you, but the hair part was an accident. When I saw it there I just really wanted to touch it, so I used my fingers to untangle it instead of my wand."
"I helped you clean up your spilled potion." Rose said, not believing her own ears.
"I spilled it on purpose when you were next to me. I knew you'd stop to help me because, like I said, you're too nice for your own good."
"I fell asleep on you in the library." She went on, remember being on the other end of this conversation months ago with Dominique.
"You fell asleep in the library. I told Albus that Professor Longbottom was looking for him and then I sat next to you. I put your head on my shoulder myself, then played it off as an accident when you woke up later."
Scorpius was getting redder as they talked, and more dejected looking too. But Rose's whole world was falling on its head.
"Also, you probably didn't notice we were there, but my team was running laps last summer and I saw you on the grounds. I thought I might catch your attention if I ran my laps without my shirt on, but that was just me being conceited."
Rose couldn't bear it anymore, she began to laugh until she cried. Scorpius looked up in concern. He probably thought he had repulsed her so much it had broken her. He hovered around her uncertainly as tears fell down her face and she just laughed and laughed.
The relief she felt was like a string of tension that had been suddenly cut. She couldn't stop the tears or the laughter, and now Scorpius probably thought she was a crazy person. She finally found the breath to talk.
"Oh man, I'm so stupid. You're so stupid. What idiots we are. Everything got so mixed up neither one of us could tell what the truth was anymore. I know you're feeling terrible right now, but I'm just so relieved."
"Relieved? I don't understand, aren't you furious at me?" he asked.
"Oh definitely, but I like you so much I don't even care. I've been agonizing for weeks and weeks trying to figure out if you liked me back, or if you were just trying to be nice. I even clung onto a fake relationship way past when I should have let you go just because I couldn't stand the thought of not being with you anymore, and here you are apologizing to me because you have real feelings for me after all.
"We're both so stupid it's hilarious. If we'd spent half as much time trying to actually talk to one another, instead of trying to trick each other into spending time together, this weird mix up never would have happened."
"How can you possibly still like me after everything I just told you?" Scorpius asked. Hope mixed in his voiced with dread.
"Am I any less guilty? I sent you all kinds of mixed signals and Cooper hadn't been an issue for weeks before I told you about it."
They stared at each other in silence with incredulous expressions.
"What a perfectly disastrous couple we ended up making, huh?" Rose finally said with a small smile.
"Right." Scorpius agreed. "Rose," he began, uncertainly, "I should have just done this from the start. I like you, I think you're wonderful, and beautiful, and kind, and funny. I've liked you for a long time and I want to date you, if you'll have a mess like me."
"Yes" she replied instantly, overcome with giddiness. "Yesyesyes a hundred times yes. I've liked you for a long time too, and I promise I'm an even bigger mess than you are, but if you still want me, I'm your-"
She hadn't even finished talking before Scorpius pulled her to him, crushing her against his chest. She wanted to wrap her arms around him in kind, but was still holding his present between them.
Scorpius reached between them and gently pulled the package out of Rose's hands before setting it on a table beside them. Then he leaned down and kissed her.
The world was exploding in Rose's head. Scorpius's mouth was devouring hers and everything felt right again.
He straightened, lifting her off her feet so as not to break their kiss, and leaned her up against a wall.
She felt his body on hers, pinning her in place, and moaned into his mouth. It was everything she'd ever wanted, plus the 'more' she had so desperately gotten addicted to.
Scorpius pulled back a fraction and sighed her name, "Rose, my Rose…" and then his lips were on her ear, her neck, her throat. Rose's fingers slid into his hair and his hands gripped tighter on her waist. She wrapped her legs around him and pulled him even closer.
Everything felt so right it was hard to stop. Eventually, though, Scorpius pulled away first.
"I can't- we have to stop before- before we're not able to stop anymore." His cheeks were as flushed as hers. She knew he was right, but she wanted to lose herself in him forever.
Rose cleared her throat. "Right, you're right." She slid down the wall behind her and looked up into his eyes. Scorpius grinned at her, and she smiled at him. He put his forehead against hers and they began to laugh.
"Oh," Rose said, remembering, "your present." She looked at where it sat on a table, forgotten.
"You're the best present I could ever have." Scorpius winked at her playfully, but she was pretty sure he actually meant it.
"Go on then, I've been looking forward to your face when you open it."
He walked over to the present and began carefully unwrapping it. He didn't tear a scrap of wrapping paper. When he was done, he looked up at her, smiling.
"Is this for real?" he asked holding up a picture in a frame. It was a group photo of the Holyhead Harpies, signed by all of them. They waved cheerfully at him from within the frame.
"My aunt has a few connection, you know." She smiled at him.
He carefully placed the photo down and pulled out the other item in the package. A bright green scarf.
"Did you make this?" he asked.
"I had some extra yarn, and green's your favorite color." She replied, flushing again.
He set the scarf down carefully as well and pulled her close in another crushing hug. "You know," he said, sliding a hand through her hair, "I've been quite fond of copper lately."
Rose giggled at him and leaned into his embrace, wrapping her own arms around his back and basking in his comfort.
"Dominique's going to throw a fit when I go back and tell her what happened. She's been trying to get us together for ages."
"Smart girl." Scorpius said.
Rose sighed good-naturedly. "She's going to gloat about this forever, you know."
Scorpius lifted her chin to look in her eyes, mischievous grin on his face.
"Then let's give her something to gloat about. After all, I have the perfect fashion accessory now for hiding my neck."
Rose bit her lip and smiled up at him. "You're impossible. You were the one who just said we should stop."
"Did I? That's stupid. Let's never stop."
"Well," Rose said, mischievous grin of her own in place, "I think that can be arranged."