A/N: I'm going to change the pace of this story since I realized it's getting a little bit bored. So I hope you guys can catch up because things going to get very interesting. It's also means this story will skip some event on the game but not necessarily it didn't happen. It also means I should be done following ME 3 universe before the tenth chapters or so. It might even happen after chapter 5. Anyway there will be some Shepard/Liara fluff again. If it almost made you cry from their scene in the last chapter, it will do the same again.
Chapter 3 : I Never Told You
As soon as they arrived on the Citadel, Shepard head straight to Huerta Memorial. Once she out the elevator, she look around for a drell. She received an email from Thane Krios, the drell assassin she recruited during her time with Cerberus, prior to touchdown on the Citadel. After spotting him, Shepard walked towards him and after chatting up for a few minutes; Shepard didn't waste any time to go check on Ashley, the real reason why she stopped by the Citadel.
After leaving Ashley to think about whether or not she should accept Councilor Udina offers to become the second human Spectre, and clearing the "cold" weather hanging around her and Ashley, Shepard head towards Purgatory bar to meet with Queen of Omega. It just simple, once Aria T'Loak asked for your help, you shouldn't turn it down because gaining a favor from her worth more than being her enemy. Apparently Omega has been taken by Cerberus and Aria has some plans on how to regain Omega back, but before that Aria said she could gives Shepard the Blood Pack, Eclipse and Blue Suns to help fight the Reapers if Shepard agrees to do a few things. Right now, Shepard took just every helps she gets. No time being picky even if they are bunch of mercenaries who probably going to come back and haunt her in the future.
After dealing with that, Shepard saw James by the bar and decided to drop by before she head to the Embassies to meet with a Spectre named Jondum Bau. After agreeing to buy a round for a few Alliance Marines, Shepard left the Purgatory bar and took the elevators to Docks: Holding Area to check on Garrus as she remembered she promised him that she will find a time to check on the turians refugees. While she was there, she saw her former Yeoman, Kelly Chambers. It always good to see her again, despite Shepard knew Kelly had a crush on her; Shepard really values her former Yeoman. She never really like a shrink but Kelly is the exception.
"You can come out now." said Shepard.
"How do you know?" asked Kasumi as she applied medi-gel and uncloak herself.
"Lucky guess."
"There's no way you're recruiting me to fight in a galactic war." said Kasumi.
"The Crucible Project needs technical experts."
"I'm not a scientist." argued Kasumi.
"No, but you're the best thief in the galaxy, and you can hack unfamiliar technology better than anyone. They could use your help. And think of it: all that expensive tech just lying around... It's not like they're going to check your pockets at the end of the project." oh how much she know how to charm people.
"You say the nicest things. All right, I'm in. And Shep... nice working with you again." said Kasumi before leaving.
After dealing with Kasumi and her "friend" Spectre, Shepard head back to Docking Bay D24 to meet with Miranda Lawson, the former Cerberus operative and the head of Lazarus project who "resuscitated" her. After hearing Miranda concerns about her sister, Oriana, Shepard head back to the Normandy as she have a Academy to check and a war summit to attend. But before that she need to check on her two favorite Engineers, Kenneth Donnelly and Gabriella Daniels after she used her Spectre status to reinstate the former Cerberus Engineers.
After meeting Jack at Grissom Academy, which is a nice surprise, and agreeing with Jack that her students are better off as a support, Shepard attends the war summit while praying it won't start another war. Wrex insisted on having the Genophage cure before lending any helps to the turians, despite Primarch Victus approval, the Salarians dalatrass is a different story. But right now she needs the turians supports and gaining a favor from the krogans won't hurt either.
After their mission at Sur'kesh, where Shepard gained a favor from Major Kirrahe, they also met Mordin Solus. As they wait on Mordin to make a cure and on their war to check on Wrex info about the Rachni, Shepard head towards Liara office. As usual, Liara's busy doing who know what and barely realized Shepard presence until Glyph greeted Shepard.
"Hey, Shepard." greets Liara still not turning away from the monitor.
Shepard decided to lie on Liara's bed since she has grown tired. She didn't even remember the last time she slept, especially a sleep that not being interrupted by a nightmare, and after those missions at Grissom Academy and Sur'kesh, her body screamed for a good night rest but her head thought otherwise.
"So how was your conversation with your father?" asked Shepard as she stared at the ceiling.
When they were at Citadel, Shepard met with Matriach Aethyta who revealed herself as Liara father after Shepard confront her about spying on Liara. After arguing on how neither of them will let anyone mess with their girl, Shepard told Liara about Aethyta. But of course, Liara already knew. After convincing her it's a good idea to talk to her father, Shepard left to her errands.
"It was good."
"Yeah? Nothing interesting?"
"No."
"So did I hear it wrong when your father asked how many times you peeled me out..."
"Shepard!" yell Liara as she blush, stopping Shepard in the middle of her sentences, but not without a smirk on her face.
"Now that I got your attention, mind if you just come and sit here?" asked Shepard as she signals Liara to sit next to her in the bed.
"Fine." said Liara as she leaves her work desk and sit next to Shepard who still lying on the bed.
"Did you know how much I love seeing you blush? Seeing the side of your innocence, the side that I felt in love with you in the first place?" said Shepard after Liara sat next to her.
"I'm not the only one who saw you have changed. Even EDI, who didn't know you 3 years ago, realized you have changed. You're more private ever since you became the new Shadow Broker and it breaks my heart..." add Shepard.
"Shepard..." said Liara as she holds Shepard hand.
"It breaks my heart because I know I did that to you. I helped you took down the Shadow Broker and because I died... I wish I could turn back the time, undo the day I died so I won't be breaking you heart. Or maybe I should turn back the time to 3 years ago when I told you I felt the same way as you do. Perhaps that will keep you honest."
Liara didn't know what to say as she could only holds her lover hand tighter.
"Here I am again, fighting the Reapers and probably on my way to my death. Yet I'm being selfish because I want to be with you. I should have told you we are done, finished. But I couldn't see you cry. I don't want to break your heart because I will lose my strength to fight the Reapers..."
"Shepard, you're not going to die. And you're not selfish to be with someone, to be happy even in the middle of a war." said Liara as she lie next to Shepard and hold her tightly.
"Before I met you, I swear to never fall in love. Not because the Alliance regs, but because of something else. But you took me by surprise; you captured my heart even before I knew it. And I knew right then and there, I shouldn't be afraid... When I came back, when I first met you on Ilium, I started being afraid again. You have changed, I knew that even when I tried to ignored it and then the look on your face, it breaks my heart into pieces. But I couldn't let you go; I don't want to let you go. You were my last thought and my first..." said Shepard as she could feel a tear drop on the side of her cheek.
"I don't need you to change who you are now because it's what a Shadow Broker should be. Because that will keeps you safe from the peoples who want to be the next Shadow Broker. But all I'm asking you is to show me that innocence I felt in love with once in a while." add Shepard as she could feel Liara hold of her getting tighter.
They stay in comfortable silences as Shepard fall asleep with Liara by her side and never letting go of her hold.
Both Shepard and Liara comfortably sat next to each other in silences as both of them look out at the stars in Shepard cabin. Liara came up to Shepard's cabin to show her a project she's been working on. A plan in case all plans goes to hell.
"Thank you for last night." said Shepard as she broke the silence.
"What for?" asked Liara.
"I haven't been sleeping well lately and last night gave me a nice good night rest. After the whole situations with Rachni and Turians, I needed that."
"It's my pleasure."
"...After what happened to Primarch Victus son, it got me thinking." said Shepard after a few seconds of silence.
"About what?"
"I think I'm ready to tell you now." said Shepard as she changed her position so she will be facing Liara.
"But before I told you the story, I need your help." add Shepard.
"What is it, Shepard?"
"I need you to use your Shadow Broker resources to find an 18 years old boy by the name Ryan Shepard."
"I didn't know you have a little brother."
"...He's not my little brother. He's my son." said Shepard as she turns her gaze away from Liara.
"I had him when I was 16 years old. His father died trying to get me away from the gang life. I was caught stealing a few snack bars from this grocery store, instead of sending me to the police, they took me in when I told the wife I need some foods for my baby. They were nice to me and when he was born, they took care of him once I joined the Alliance. Everything goes well until Elysium. When they realized the Alliance going to offer me a better deal after what I done on Elysium, they took him away. I searched for him for 3 months but the police and the Alliance couldn't find any clues where they took him. The Alliance finally asked me to choose between my job and my son. I chose my job because if I lose my job and when I find him, I don't know how am I suppose to take care of him. I told myself he's better off with a real family, with a father and a mother. I told myself that they will take care of him better than I can. I come to an agreement with that until the Reapers attacked Earth. It got me thinking, I save hundreds, millions, but I don't even know if one of them is my son. I need to know if he's alright and I need to see him for one last time. If we can't defeat the Reapers, I need to tell my son that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not trying hard enough to find him." add Shepard as her gaze still away from Liara.
"Shepard... I didn't know."
"No one really does. After I joined the N7, my records, especially about him, have been sealed off."
"Shepard, I'm sure you did everything you can to find him." said Liara as she lifted her lover chin so she will look at her.
"It doesn't matter anymore. All I need now is to know how he is. It doesn't matter if he will hate me; I just need to tell him I'm sorry. I know I don't deserve his forgiveness but I just need to see him, to know I done the right thing or the opposite."
"I will find him, Shepard. I promise." said Liara as she hug Shepard.
After curing the Genophage, Shepard head back to the Citadel after the Salarian councilor suspected Councilor Udina to be dirty. When they got there, Cerberus attacked Citadel and after rescuing Commander Bailey, Shepard went to find the Salarian councilor when a Cerberus assassin tried to kill him. Thane came and fought him before being stab. After a standoff with Ashley, Shepard managed to convince her that she's not the one working with Cerberus right now. When Shepard saw Ashley was hesitant to kill Udina when he point his gun at the Asari councilor, Shepard shot him before he could kill Councilor Tevos. Oh how much her Renegade side enjoy it since she never like Udina since he pull that stunt 3 years ago.
After saying goodbye to Thane, where he and his son say a prayer for her, Shepard checked on Kelly Chambers to make sure she's alright. She then saw Conrad Verner, much to her dismay but at least this time he's useful and even save her life. Well sort of. If being in the wrong side of a gun not enough once, she had to be in the wrong side, twice. This time it was Balak, as much as she wants to kill him, she needs his help more than seeking justice. Fortunately Balak saw reasons and gave the last ship of Batarian army to help fight the Reapers.
Shepard finally got enough of being the wrong side of a gun when she decided to return to the Normandy, but not before she found a location for Dr. Ann Brayson and welcomed Ashley back on the Normandy. After telling Joker to set course to where Dr. Ann Brayson is, Shepard head to her cabin. She was enjoying a quiet moment while watching her fish when she heard someone knocked on her cabin door.
"Come in." said Shepard.
"Shepard. I think I found him." said Liara as she walked towards the sofa.
"Really?" asked Shepard as she followed Liara.
"It's not easy but I think I found him."
"How did you find him?"
"By cross referring his birth date with the family name who took him, I think I found a match."
"B-but... I tried to find him under those names but I didn't find anything."
"It's because they use the wife maiden name."
"Why didn't I think of that?!" said Shepard as she cursed herself.
"Shepard, it wasn't your fault. You were very distraught and you didn't have the kind of resources I have." said Liara as she tried to reassure her lover.
"Where is he? Is he fine?"
"I think he's in the crew deck."
"What?" said Shepard, dumbfounded by Liara answer.
"Your son is in the ship you command."
"Wait... There's none of my crew that is 18 years old. Except..."
"Ensign Andrew Robertson."
After putting all the pieces together, Shepard covers her face with both of her hands.
"How didn't I see it?! His name was Andrew, which were his middle name and also his father name. I thought it was a coincidence. And how I didn't even realize he's a splitting image of his father?!"
"Shepard... How could you have known?"
"I should have. Because I'm his mother!"
"Shepard..."
"No one else should know about this." said Shepard after a minute of silence.
"What? Why? Shouldn't you go talk to him?"
"Do you know what the Alliance will do once they found out? They will dismiss him from my command and send him back to Earth. I'm not going to let them send him back to Earth when he's barely out from the Academy! I'm not sending him to his death and I'm not going to find his body under the rubble."
"Shepard, you don't know if the Alliance will do that."
"Yes, they will. This is worst than being in a relationship with a subordinate."
"Shepard..."
"No!" yell Shepard which took Liara by surprise.
"I should go check on my weapons. I'm sure we are nearing where Dr. Ann Bryson is. I need to inform Ashley because she's coming with me. You too, Liara. That is if you can promise me to stay professional." add Shepard as she stood up and walk towards the elevator.
They just got back from rescuing Dr. Ann Brayson and on their way to a summit with the Quarians, when Liara decided to continue with her works. Shepard has been avoiding her since they rescue Dr. Ann Brayson and even when she tried to make a joke on how Shepard always saving scientists from hostile area and how she will start getting jealous and somewhat concern if they plan on taking down the Shadow Broker, it was barely got a smile from Shepard.
Even though Liara was trying to get some work done, she can't help but being distracted with the way Shepard reacted when she told her about that young Ensign. When she found out that Shepard son is on board the Normandy, she thought Shepard will be ecstatic, but clearly it's the opposite. Liara could feel Shepard is hiding behind the fact Alliance will send her son away if they found out but she didn't know how to make Shepard spill out what she's really been hiding.
As Liara running many scenarios in her head on how to make Shepard talk, someone knock on her door.
"Who is it?" asked Liara.
"Dr. T'Soni, I'm Ensign Robertson. Mind if I come in? There's something I would like your help."
Liara gave Glyph a signal to let the young Ensign in.
"Thank you, Dr. T'Soni."
"You said there's something you like me to help?" asked Liara.
"Yes. I heard that you're an information broker. I'm wondering if you can help me find someone. I thought about asking Commander Shepard, but I'm sure she's busy saving the galaxy and making history. So I won't bother her with my problem."
"For as long as I have known her, she always makes time for her crew members."
"Yes, I've heard it as well but I really don't want to bother her with my problem. Since you're an information broker, I thought I will have a better chance. That is if you don't mind. I'm sure there's so many you need to do."
"I'm sure it won't be a bother for me to look up a few things."
"Well... I need to find my mother. My biological mother. I knew that she's work with the Alliance and her name is Grace. Other than that, I don't know much. I didn't even have a picture of her. I can vividly remember her red hair, green eyes, but I never can remember how she really looks like." explain Andrew.
"...I will see what I can do, Ensign." said Liara not knowing what she needs to do.
"Thank you, Dr. T'Soni. I appreciate your help." said the young Ensign as he gave Liara a smile that reminds her of Shepard before exiting her office.
It's always good to see Tali again and like she predicted before, Tali has been named as the new Admiral, replacing her father, regardless of what Tali think about her actual position. But through the war summit with the Quarians, Shepard didn't like to hear that the Quarians have entered war with the Geth. She understands their needs to regain their homeworld but in the midst of Reapers war? She warned them before that the galaxy will need them when the Reapers arrived but instead she need to help the Quarians first before hoping for a lending hand from the Quarians. Unbelievable, she should be focusing on a way to stop Reapers, not stopping a war between Quarians and the Geth! If not because of Tali, she would have left Quarians to pick up their own mess.
The first order of business was for her, Tali and Liara to disable a Geth dreadnought. They then ended up meeting Legion who has been captured and was used as a Reapers signal to the Geth. Shepard didn't doubt Legion was captured against his will for a second and release him from his shackle. Legion returned the favours by not only disabling the dreadnought, but also its weapons and barriers.
As they were fighting army of Geth, Admiral Han'Gerrel decided that was the best time to attack the Geth dreadnought. If she wasn't busy fighting off the Geth, she had yell through her comm over how he can wait a little longer until she and her team in a safe distance. After countless of times they almost blown to death by friendly fire, they finally got out of the Geth dreadnought in a Geth fighter.
After the debriefing with Admiral Hackett, Shepard stepped out of the comm room to a fighting between Admiral Han'Gerrel, Admiral Ran and Tali. Admiral Han'Gerrel then turns to Shepard, pleading for her understanding for his decision. Honestly she would have understand his decision but her mind was clouded by a horror image of Liara was spaced out before Legion managed to grab her hand. Against her better judgement, Shepard punched Admiral Han'Gerrel in the stomach instead. But she had to admit, it felt good. If only the Alliance knew what she done, she might have been court martial if not because they're in the middle of a war and the fate of the galaxy is in her shoulder.
After a few missions later, they are finally nearing the end of a war between Quarians and the Geth. Much to Shepard relief. Now she is in Rannoch, the homeworld of the Quarians, with her Quarian friend, Tali and Liara. After fighting off dozens of Geth and a few handfuls Geth Prime, they finally on a high platform where they should be able to target the Reapers signal for a bombing run by the Normandy. Despite EDI advices, Shepard had to get near the end of the platform to have a better lock on the Reapers signal. She thought she could get away just in time but everything happens way too fast and the next time she knew she was falling.
When she felt to the ground, she could feel she might have a few broken ribs, or worst. But there's no time to think or feel the pain as the Reapers signal they just bomb was actually a Reaper. After brushing off Liara concerns, she started to order Liara and Tali to run towards where Legion was waiting for them with a Geth vehicle. As soon as they are in the Geth vehicle, Shepard man the main gun as she asked for the Quarians help bombing the Reaper because she knew the main gun from the Geth vehicle could barely make a dent on a Reaper. Oh how much she wished there's a Threshaw Maws in Rannoch.
As the Reaper are powering up to shoot it's laser, the Quarians came through as they send a bomb towards the Reaper and it hit it hard enough to make it felt, but not dead. Despite they could get away, Shepard decided to destroy the Reaper instead. Because she's not losing this chance to end the war between the Quarians and the Geth. Most of all if that Reaper still alive, the Geth will be another problem to them along with the Reapers itself and Cerberus. After telling Legion, Tali and Liara about her decision, the latter gave her a look of horror and disbelief. She knew it's a suicide and she's playing with her luck but she's not giving away this chance.
Despite Liara attempt to get some senses into her, Shepard ended up with a targeting pistol in Rannoch against a Reaper. It might not be as big as Sovereign but its big enough and powerful enough to kill her in matter of seconds. It felt like an eternity before the Reaper finally defeated and before it shut off completely, she had a little chat with the Reaper as Tali walks towards her. Legion then follow behind while Liara just waits by the Geth vehicle and Shepard could sense that Liara is beyond upset with her.
Well what else is new? What more history she's going to make? If getting a peace between Turians and Krogans are not enough, what about a peace between Quarians and the Geth? Of course it came at a cost, Legion life. He might be a Geth, but she's quite fond of her and he was the reason why she thought the Geth deserves another chance and she sure hope it won't bite her back one day. But after what she saw in Geth consensus, she doubts she will regret it.
Now she has one more tough task. No, it's not finding a peace with the Reapers, but instead how to console her lover, Liara who clearly beyond upset with her decision to go one on one with a Reaper. Liara hasn't been saying a single word ever since she left the Geth vehicle to fight the Reaper and she has also been avoiding from looking at Shepard.
"I'm sorry." said Shepard as she walked towards Liara who is sitting in her bed while looking at her datapad.
Liara didn't say anything as she continues on looking at her datapad.
"Liara. You knew I had to do it. It's our only chance to free the Geth from Reapers control." said Shepard as she stood in front of Liara.
"So what? It's okay if I watch you die again?! I don't care about the Geth or anything else. I only care about you!" yell Liara as she threw the datapad she's been holding to a wall.
"You're the only one I have left after my mother... I can't lose you again." add Liara as she starts sobbing.
"You didn't lose me. I'm here, aren't I?" said Shepard as she sat next to Liara.
"I could have lost you." said Liara as Shepard hugs her.
"Liara... Know that I will fight like hell to stay alive. But we both know in the end of the day, one of us or both of us won't make it out alive."
"We will make it out alive from this war. And you promised me that you always coming back." said Liara as she hugs Shepard tightly to a small groan from Shepard.
"Not so tight. That fall gave me a few broken ribs." said Shepard after she saw a look of worry from Liara.
"Did you see Dr. Chakwas yet?"
"I did. Just before I came here. Dr. Chakwas won't stop hovering over me until I let her check my injuries after Tali reported to her about my fall."
"I was so upset at you that I forgot all about that. What did Dr. Chakwas said?"
"She said I was lucky. It could have been a lot worst."
"I'm glad you're fine."
"And I'm glad you're no longer upset at me." said Shepard as she gave Liara a kiss.
"Where are we going next?" asked Liara.
"We're going to check an intel from Specialist Traynor. If her intel is right, we might be able to ask for ex-Cerberus scientists help with the Crucible project. After that we're going to check on what's going on in Lesuss."
"Are you sure you're alright to dive into action again?"
"I'll be fine. If you don't mind, I will bring EDI and Ashley with me in Gellix. I need to bring EDI since we're dealing with ex-Cerberus. And I'm sure Ashley is more than capable of making sure I won't get into any troubles. So don't worry."
"Very well. I trust you... If you don't mind, I have something I want to tell you."
"What is it?"
"Your son... Ensign Robertson, asked for my help to track down her biological mother." said Liara to a look of shocked from Shepard.
"I didn't tell him anything and all he remembered about you were your red hair, green eyes and your first name."
"This hasn't changed anything. You still won't be telling him about who I really am." said Shepard after she regained her composure.
"Shepard! Why? He wants to find you!"
"I told you the reason why. I haven't changed my mind."
"Shepard, it's not fair to him. He wants to meet her real mother. And you know how important it is for a soldier to have a peace of mind in the middle of a war."
"Liara. Don't ask me to, as her mother to watch him die in front of me. I can save thousands, millions of life, but I will sacrifice all of it if that's means my son will live."
"You don't know that, Shepard."
"But I know the Alliance. I have send soldiers to their death, but I won't send my son to his death. I rather die than sending him to his death."
"Shepard..."
"This conversation ends here, Liara." said Shepard as she's head towards the door.
After what happened in Lesuss, it got Shepard thinking. How she's being selfish for not wanting her heart to be broken again. She still remembered it clearly how miserable she was when her son was taken from her, she had to push it in the back of her mind or she will never move on. Now she had to open herself to the same heartbreak again and honestly, she didn't know if she will ever recover from that if her son hates her.
But she needs to take that chance, because her son needs to know the truth... Most of all she hates herself from treating the young Ensign differently than she used to since she knew the truth. Now, she knew, no matter what the outcome, it will put her mind at ease knowing she get to say her sorry. Because she knows at the end of this war, she might not make it out alive. And she needs to die knowing she saw her son again and getting the chance to say her sorry.
A/N: So how was it? I hope this change of pace didn't make you guys all confused. And I also hope this story is getting more exciting. Also as a bonus, this time around, I will up 2 new chapters instead of one. The next chapter will be getting more exciting! How is Shepard going to confront her son? And most of all, how her son going to react? And on the side note, I'm sort of experimenting with Shepard/Liara relationship in this chapter. Nothing to extreme, just trying to make it real. To have Shepard and Liara struggling throughout the war with their relationship. Not like they are going to break up or they realized they are not meant for each other, it just how Liara struggle seeing Shepard put her life on the line on each missions and how Shepard deal with watching Liara live in danger... Or something of sort. Just to make it more real and give more feeling.