Author's Note:
I'm a buuummmm.
Also, on a more serious note, I encourage you all to look into politics (if you don't already) and educate yourselves in social issues, the economy, etc. I'm not telling you who to vote for, but it's very important, and the upcoming election will affect us all very much. (Even international relations, I'd say to those if not living in America.)
But enough of that!
Thank you to those who reviewed the last drabble: ByakuyasMistress, DragenEyez, RenjiRulez5986, Sakura Tsubari, Mrs Scorpuis Malfoy, Bullet2tm. You guys really are the greatest and the reason why I keep writing. :)
Kaleidoscope
a Bleach (© Kubo Tite) fanfiction
Theme #73
goodbye
Opening Song: "Smooth Criminal" - 2CELLOS
"Farewell, Rangiku. It would have been nice if my capture lasted a little longer… Sorry."
Those are the last words he says to her. He doesn't tell her why he's leaving or where, doesn't explain why he's following Aizen (who he's never liked), doesn't even have the decency to tell her what he's planning to do - he just says sorry. She doesn't even know how to respond, but her grip around his skin (cold, icy like it's always been) is severed and he just leaves. She's still standing there - gawking, gasping, not quite crying but breaking all the same - when he's gone and takes the chaos with him. When Hanatarou comes up to her with bandages and a first aid kit, she falls to her knees and stares into the distance, where she's sure Gin will reappear.
Gin always leaves, but he comes back. He always has some place to go to, but he'll return, like he always does.
Gin will come back, she tells herself, over and over again. She forgets her anger towards him, forgets how he's been avoiding her and how everyone has been talking about him and how he's always keeping secrets from her. She forgets the feeling of resentment she's been cultivating from her loneliness and bitterness, forgets her irritation and exasperation. She forgets it all because she just wants him to come back.
She doesn't need answers - just him.
Rangiku doesn't talk to anyone, and no one tries to make her. She despairs alone, never crying but never finding her catharsis, always hoping that she'll turn the corner and find him standing there. She thinks of all the unanswered questions, all the regrets, all that should have beens and would have beens.
Slowly, the despair festers into anger, until all the negative emotions return in one swoop. She screams and throws and breaks, and when she's finally done trashing the office, she realizes that she's crying. She cries because he's gone, because the stress and suppressed emotions over the past month, because she finally feels the hurt and it's tearing her apart.
In the end, Rangiku feels numb. She's sad and angry all at once, but she doesn't hide it anymore, and the others can read it on her face and in her movements. When she smiles, they see that it's forced, but they don't press her (because they can't possibly understand - and Ichimaru Gin is still a traitor and the wound is still raw).
Renji is the first one who talks to her. She's sitting by herself at the bar, her sake untouched, and she greets him with a simple nod of her head. "Hey," he says, returning the nod with one of his own as he slides into the seat beside her. "How are you doing?" he asks before he can think about it.
She sees the weariness that jumps to his face, then laughs humorlessly. "I'm fine," she says. He doesn't believe her, and she doesn't expect him to.
They sit side by side, elbows touching, neither drinking nor speaking. Finally, he says, "It gets better."
Rangiku smiles wryly into the full sake cup. "Maybe." She wraps her long fingers around the cup, but doesn't bring it up to her lips. "I didn't get to say goodbye."
He hesitates to speak. "Maybe…"
"Maybe it's better that way?"
"No." He shakes his head. "But… Maybe that's what he wanted. Maybe he didn't wanna hear you say bye."
There's a slight quiver in her brow, and for a moment he thinks she's going to cry. "That's right," she murmurs, her eyes dry, as she raises the sake to her lips. "He's always been selfish like that." Before she drinks, she raises the cup towards him; unsurely, he mirrors her actions. "To new beginnings." Renji hears her voice crack, but she quickly downs the sake and goes for another.
Closing Song: "Somebody That I Used to Know" - Gotye
I'M SORRY ABOUT THE ANGST BUT angst is like my default writing mood I'm sorrrrryyy.
so long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu!
der kapitan