It seemed like taking his eyes off Alfred's back was impossible. Gilbert kept glancing back at him, this horrible teasing expression on his face. Arthur knew that was just his way of hiding pity, but he despised it. His armor was the only sound in the castle as they strode towards the time room. Matthew and Toris stayed behind, the time room was not a place for those that weren't burdened.

Seeing the door was almost painful. It was the door Alfred had to guard, way back when. Where did those days go? The innocence, the happiness? The door was open now, someone must have pulled the handle. Gilbert nudged him into the familiar area. It was just as they left it. The war zone Spades had become hadn't touched this room. It was still pure, still white and shining. And the clocks were still ticking.

Yao's clock was ticking in time with Arthur's now, and it made Arthur sad to think about his mentor. Yao had gone off to the east in attempts to rally new troops, and Arthur hadn't heard from him in a long while. He wondered if he was alright, and what he would think of Arthur's personal troubles.

Gilbert's surprisingly soft voice threw him back into reality. "Are you ready, Alfred?"

Arthur cast his eyes up, onto Alfred's face. He looked terrified. He knew what these visions held—and he knew that it was not something good.

His eyes looked to the clock, and then to Arthur. "Wh-what's it like?" He asked, his voice shaking.

Arthur considered ignoring the question, ignoring Alfred, and ignoring all of his responsibilities. But he couldn't. "It's not anything a hero can't handle..."

Alfred visibly jerked at the mention of the name 'hero'. When was the last time Alfred had declared himself a hero? When was the last time he was actually confident? Through his thoughts, Arthur saw the meant-to-be-Ace nod, and turn around.

His eyes focused on the thing that represented everything he didn't want. Responsibility for an entire Kingdom, and the hate of half. Going to war, and with Clubs, no less. And now, it was a reminder of the future with Arthur he'd ruined.

It was just a watch. A tiny little pocket watch, no bigger than his fist, made of gold and ticking like there was no tomorrow. It's funny how the most unassuming thing was the very center of his fear. He stretched out his hand, and his finger just barely grazed the surface.

Instantly, the floor beneath him vanished. He fell straight down into a black pit of emptiness. He opened his eyes wide, but he couldn't see a thing. There was no wind, no air to breathe, or floor to hit. There was nothing. Alfred was paralyzed with fear.

Until he heard it. It was a distant, wonderful sound. It seemed like he hadn't heard anything in years. Hearing something like this was amazing, compared to the complete silence of before. It was familiar, it was sweet and bubbly, and it was Arthur's laugh.

He seemed so happy, and when the whispers started he could tell he was hissing something fantastic to someone else, almost like a secret. The light began to shine. A dark blue carpet appeared under his feet. The light traced up the white walls of the room, and high onto the ceiling. Windows appeared, open the the fresh breeze that tickled Alfred's skin. There was little furniture, as the room was quite small. It was a tea parlor.

In the center of the small room, just by the couches, stood two men. Alfred's heart nearly fell through his chest when he saw the first one. He was dressed in the finest robes one could imagine, the crown of the Queen shining atop his head. His eyes, beautiful green eyes, sparkled with mirth. Above those eyes sat two bushy brows, and messy blonde locks framed his forehead. It was Arthur. It was smiling, happy, beautiful Arthur. Next to him, was another man. With a jolt, Alfred realized it was himself. He looked stronger. He held himself higher, and the crown of the King glinted on his head. But he was holding beautiful, happy Arthur at the hips, so they were just barely touching.

"...finally! We won't need to worry ever again, no one will!" Arthur was saying, his voice still low. He looked around deviously, almost like he was gossiping.

The Alfred-but-not-Alfred laughed, and scooted Arthur closer. "Calm down! What exactly will solve what problem?"

Arthur fisted his hands into Alfred's robes. "I've found it! After all the years of searching, we can finally have an heir!"

Alfred-but-not-Alfred's mouth dropped. "You're joking."

"I'm not! Alfred, we can have a baby!"

The Alfred-who-is-really-Alfred didn't know what to think of the situation. It seemed like it was from a different universe, not just a different time. It was himself and Arthur, together and in love, about to start a family. Why did he fear the clock so much? This was the best moment of his life!

Arthur opened his mouth again, to say more. But the light drained down too quickly. The sounds disappeared. The smell of fresh air vanished just as quickly as it's reserve in his lungs. Alfred was thrown back into the empty.

This time, he was tossed about like a leaf in the wind. He wanted to scream, but there was no air to do so. Alfred would have died, except for the fact none of this was actually happening. But it sure as hell felt like it was.

Just as quickly as he had first entered the darkness, there was light again. But it did not reveal a beautiful scene, it revealed a gray battlefield. Men lay bloody and beaten on the ground, some nearly touching Alfred's feet. Gore and gunpowder hung in the air, and Alfred regretted gasping . The booms of cannons and the clang and twang of swords and arrows rose over what was left of the crowd. Alfred saw Matthew, his arrows almost gone, sitting in a dead tree, firing down...near...

Arthur. Had it not been for the fact Alfred had just seen him in his armor, he would not have recognized him from so far away. His helmet was off, and he was staring around at the gore. Alfred watched him take in a deep breath, and then close his eyes. His mouth started moving, his head bowed. He coiled in on himself, and a light grew by his stomach. It grew until it encased his whole middle. Then it broke. Alfred had to shield his eyes as the light flashed through the whole battle. A horrible shriek accompanied it. A blood curdling and impossibly loud shriek. The light faded out quickly, revealing a battlefield rendered completely still. Every man's armor and weapons had vanished, their limbs seemingly pinned to their sides. But Alfred saw it. Arthur swayed, his eyes still closed. And then, with a thud that was possibly louder than the scream, he fell.

"No! Arthur!"

Alfred was back in the time room. Gilbert was holding him around his stomach. He was facing the Queen, his hand outstretched. Arthur was screaming. It was the same blood-curdling scream from the vision. But it was worse.

It was real.

"Alfred, you can't do anything for him! It's the only way!" Gilbert was screaming in his ear, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Arthur was hurt. Arthur was going to die. He didn't know what had happened, but while he was "gone" the vision had become a reality. Panic seized his chest and he clawed at Gilbert's arms, anything to get to his Queen.

The arms went away easily enough. It was only five seconds before he was at Arthur's side. The screaming had stopped, but he wasn't awake. His eyes were glazed over, his mouth hung open.

Alfred fell to his knees, still cradling Arthur.

Arthur wasn't in his body. He wasn't even in his time, he was sure of that. It was desperately cold where he was. Mountains bigger than Arthur's had ever dared to dream of loomed around him. Every part of his body ached. The small of his back, his neck, and especially his arms.

"Elizabeta," a deep, cold voice bellowed. "Faster! You're a failure, a disgusting stain on my family quilt! Faster!"

Arthur felt himself picking up the pace. He was Elizabeta. And his heart ached the worst.

He continued like that for what felt like hours, the gruff voice shouting behind him the whole time. He dared not turn around. He didn't want to see the beast that owned that horrid voice. By the time he reached wherever it was the beast wanted them to be, his tears had already dried to his cheeks.

The beast came into his view, and Arthur shook terribly, from something other than the cold. The beast was two times wider than he, and almost three feet taller. "Beast" was all there was to call it. But for some reason, Arthur found himself saying, "Father."

The man scowled. "You're not done, you lazy ass. Go fetch some firewood. There is much you still have to do. Can't let even you dying out."

Arthur felt something clawing at the back of his throat. "Father, there is no wood. We're too high up."

Slap.

He barely felt it, his cheek was so cold, but it knocked him into the snow, it used so much force. He certainly felt that bit.

"Lazy ass! Walk back to the city if you have to! But get me firewood before nightfall!"

The thing at the back of his throat clawed free. He began to cry.

The scene shifted. Gilbert was there, but he was different. He did not float or flutter about. He did not smile cockily or snap his fingers and cluck his tongue. Instead, he held Arthur. He held him close. "I love you," he was saying. "Eliza, I love you more than anything. I want to be with you, forever."

Arthur said he did too. Their lips met. He felt like death had finally come to claim him. He wanted nothing more than to accept it happily.

"Oh, please," Arthur whispered, so softly not even Gilbert could hear. "Take me to heaven. I've served my time in hell."

But Gilbert vanished, along with the warm arms and the feeling of security. Now there was a sword in his hand, pointed expertly at his unfortunate opponent. Heavy armor weighed down his body. But something else did, too. It was a baby. Arthur could feel it inside him, not big at all, just beginning to grow. He knew it was Gilbert's.

But he was in an arena. He was fighting. Something went wrong. It was a flash, something across the field. Everyone stopped...Gilbert...

Gilbert was on the other side of the field, and he was dying. He was dying, Arthur's only hope was dying.

Black filled Arthur's vision.

He blinked for what he knew would be the last time, and looked around at a quiet forest. A low fire crackled next to him. But he felt empty, cold. Because he knew his baby was dead.

Arthur's eyes opened, and he saw Alfred's face, tears covering it. He didn't know why Alfred was crying, but it didn't matter, because Arthur was sobbing too. It didn't matter how he got here in Alfred's lap on the floor, all that mattered was that Arthur would never feel those things he had before. He knew loneliness, but he did not know that. And he never wanted to again.

"Alfred, I love you, I love you." Arthur bawled, holding on as tightly as he could, as if letting go would bring him back into that memory.

Alfred nodded, like this sudden confession made perfect sense to him, and with a cry he said:

"I love you too. I love you so much."

Thanks a million to the most amazing beta ever! Rexlover180

And thus the two face their greatest fears, loosing everything. Loosing all they ever wanted.

No, this will not be Mpreg. Confused? Keep reading ;)

Thank you so much for bearing with me, though the slow updates and short chapters. I don't say that enough. But all the reviews, the favorites, the alerts...it means a lot to me. So thank you.

Sorry for any mistakes!