Author's Note:
This is coming out a little later than usual because I watched the Presidential Debate (also I'm going to be honest with you guys because I love you and say that I hate Mitt Romney with the passion of a million burning suns), but it's only 10:30 over here, so I'm still following the rules!
A million thanks to Boyudo and EnternalSakura for reviewing the last drabble! :) I adore you so much.
Kaleidoscope
a Bleach (© Kubo Tite) fanfiction
Theme #75
restless
Opening Song: "Poison & Wine" - The Civil Wars
He paces back and forth, he kicks at the dirt, he fiddles with his wardrobe, he whispers to invisible lovers. He does this in the shadows, where no one can see him, because if they did see him they'd become suspicious and this would all be for naught. When they turn an ear, he sighs; when they blink, his grin slips; when they turn, his fingers itch. In their presence, Gin does all that's expected of him, but when he's alone, he mourns.
Gin is restless. For the first couple of nights, he forgets what sleep feels like. He has to be constantly moving, constantly occupied with something, constantly at attention, because otherwise he starts to slip and all he can see is the hurt in her eyes. The guilt eats at him constantly, but the attacks are strongest when he's laying in bed alone, when he closes his eyes and can actually visualize her standing beside him.
So he paces and kicks and fiddles and whispers so that he doesn't have to think about it (her). Even if he has a plan, and even if he knows he has to stick to it, it certainly doesn't make the situation any easier. So he copes, and the insomnia is his pain reliever, because he's not sure how else he can survive with the image of betrayal in her eyes.
Closing Song: "Bring Him Home" - Les Misérables
Aaaand now it's 11:13 because I kept getting distracted. Oops.
so long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu!
der kapitan