Chapter 2: My Struggle Part II
Oh my, it looks like he's in his thoughts again. Those dark thoughts. But I have to put up a brave front for him, and support him in any way possible. He's my boyfriend, and he suffered a great loss. I know it isn't easy for him, but it was for his own good. It's not easy for me either, because I made the decision to take his leg, in order to save his life. He wanted to frown, and tears were forming in his eye socket, but he mustered up everything he could, as to have a cheery appearance and a joyous mood. Harry had brought two hot cups of butterbeer for the two of them, and some gingerbread cookies he stole from the Dursley. It was a special gift from him to Draco, because gingerbread was his favourite, even if he didn't want to admit it out loud. Oh Draco, dearest, what have I done to you. You must realize I only did it, so that I wouldn't lose you. I know it may seem selfish, but it's true. You mean the world to me, and I would gladly lay down my own life to save yours, but you wouldn't let me. You wanted to be the hero this time. You saved me. Sacrificed yourself in order to save my life, so that I could live. But why? I know you love me, even if you never say it to my face. Loving me in your own way, has always been your thing, and in that moment, when you pushed me away, out of the crossfire, it was your way of telling me that you loved me. I could feel the energy in your body, when you touched me in that instant, and it was electrifying and terrifying at the same time. Draco, you would've died for me, and it scared the living shit out of me and it made me incredibly proud of you. Harry was so deep in thoughts, he tripped over his own feet, fell to the ground and spilled their drinks. One of the drinks landed on Draco, and he let out a scream, for the drink was quite hot, and it burned on his flesh. Landing on his face, with his arms and hands stretched out in front of him, he somehow stopped the blow a little bit, but it still hurt like hell, when he hit his head on the stone floor.
When Harry caught his breath and his head stopped spinning, he realized that Draco was making a fuss about his ruined clothes and that Harry had been a complete and utter fool for tripping, and how he couldn't believe that they knew each other. Panting, he stood up, reached for a napkin from a nearby napkin holder, and tried to get the stains out of Draco's clothes. Draco looked down at him, while he desperately tried to save the other boy's clothes, giving him a look that said more than a thousand words. Harry knew what he was thinking in that exact moment: I sacrificed my leg, my leg, for this whimp? This pitiful creature, I call my boyfriend? It was hardly even worth it. Harry couldn't hold back his tears, while saying I'm sorry over and over and over again. Draco only sneered at him in disgust, and looked away from his boyfriend. Gradually breaking down mentally, Harry stood up, slammed the butterbeer stained napkins in Draco's lap, ready to slap him across the face, when Draco blocked his attack in mid flight. Tears rolling down, cheeks all puffy and crimson, Harry collapsed onto his knees. "How dare you try to strike me! Me, of all people! The one, who saved your sorry ass and sacrificed what was dear to me. I can't believe that you would do that to me. What the fuck, Harry?" He let go of the other boy's arm and slammed right back at him. Looking up at him, tears dashing down his cheeks, and his eyes all swelled up from crying, Harry got up from the cold floor and sat beside his boyfriend. "How dare I? How dare you! You treat me like shit everyday. You make me suffer and go through hell. You keep reminding me of what happened, and what incredible sacrifice you made. But that was your choice, not mine. I saved your leg as you can see. I was there for you when you needed me the most. I let you treat me like garbage in order to make you feel better and lash out if you needed to. I was the scapegoat you needed. But no more. I'm sick and tired of this cat and mouse game. I'm sick of you still blaming me for what happened. Sure it was a shit situation, but it happened. Get over it already! The past is in the past for a reason, Draco, so stop crying over spilled milk. If you won't change this attitude of yours, I will you and then you'll truly have no one left at your side. It may seem egoistical of me, but that's how it is. I have to stand up for myself at least this once before I get belittled again by you or someone else. So shut the fuck up, treat me with respect, swallow your pride, and let me help you!" Harry yelled, his voice slightly gone after ranting, trying to catch his breath.
Draco was shocked at what he just witnessed, grabbing the dirty napkins and placing them on the table in front of him. I never knew that he was this frustrated and pissed at me. Sure, I thought that he might be pissed at me for treating him like shit every day, but I needed to at least blame someone, anyone, for what happened. "I know, Harry, I don't blame you for hating me and being pissed. I needed to blame someone, anyone, and it seems that I took it all out on you, because you were the only there for me, and I hated the fact that I lost everything because of you. I resent you for having the mobility, the ability to walk, and I don't. It may seem harsh blaming everything you, but it seemed so easy at the time. And when you never said anything in protest, I thought that you were taking it all for me, because you love me, and would never ever leave. It stupid, I know, but that was the logic I had back then. You should've said something, anything, I would've stopped. Harry, I love you, and I would never hurt you intentionally, but please try to see it from my point of view. I couldn't bare losing you too. You mean too much to me. My heart would break, and...and I don't know, I'm afraid of would might happen if I lost you." Draco broke down in tears for the first time since the day it happened. His words choked the breath away from Harry's throat, making it impossible for him to answer. Harry laid a reassuring hand on Draco's head, which was placed on his folded arms on the table. Draco's body was heaving, up and down, sobbing, letting it all out. All of the built up anger and frustration was being poured out in form of tears, and Harry was so proud of him in that moment, starting to cry himself, again. Raising his head, after what felt like an hour, he looked at his boyfriend with tear-filled and swollen eyes. Eyes full of regret and pain.
"Draco. Draco, honey, I'm here for you. I love you, and I'll never leave you. I promise. You're the love of my life, and I'm here for you through thick and thin, through good and bad times. 'Cause that's what people do in relationships, they're there for each other, no matter what. In a relationship, you have to compromise and make sacrifices, and I'm willing to do that, the same as you. Maybe not exactly like you did...that was a bad example, but I hope you get the gist. Anyway, the point is, pull that shit again, and I will seriously reconsider this relationship. I mean it, Draco, this shit wasn't funny. I can understand you having a bad day, or week even, but taking it out on the one who loves you no matter what, is a bit harsh, even for your standards. Now come here you." Cupping Draco's face in his sweaty palms, he placed one hell of kiss straight on his swelled-up lips, exchanging not only their saliva, but also their passion and love for one another. It felt good, great even. This was the first time they had kissed since that day, and it was long over do, making it extra special for the both of them. Lips gently caressing, both of their eyes closed and squinted, the sound of their heartbeats syncing, pounding so hard, Harry was afraid it would jump out of his chest. Draco's lips had the sweetest taste of biscuits mixed with butterbeer, and it aroused Harry even more at that point. Going through Harry's hair with his hands, Draco smelled the a hint of his favourite cologne on his boyfriend. The cologne he gave him for his birthday, and it made him smile with joy on the inside and outside. Harry's lips were rather rough against his own, smooth and and rosy lips, but he loved that about their kisses, making it more enjoyable for him. The tongue was next to never involved, because they were both equally terrible at kissing that way, but sometimes they even tried that. They tried right now, and failed miserably.
After kissing what felt like an eternity, they both laughed at their failed attempt at actually kissing like pros, even with tears of sadness and joy in their eyes. Draco took out one of his many handkerchiefs, embroidered with signature Slytherin seal, and wiped away the tears from his boyfriend's face. He couldn't stand him crying. Harry gave him the same gesture. They were a team and that wouldn't change for anything in the world. Harry's parents were dead, and Draco's hated him. They were all they had, and it was perfect. Friends never understood them, they never really actually tried, but that was fine, as long as they found someone who did, and they did. "I love you, my slippery snake." Harry said, while standing up and gathering his things. "Now, let's go our room and clean you up, dear. You're a mess, and we don't want anyone to see like this, right?" Just staring at his boyfriend, Draco grabbed his crutches and stood up, leaned on them and took a step. He looked over at Harry, nudged him with his elbow, shifting in his spot. "I love you, too, my lion."